Thursday Random Thoughts

1.El Presidente was a one man show at T’s Pub last night as I picked the next contender for Ms. Barstool Sports. The place was jam packed. Lots of very cute girls too. It was kind of tough because Karoke was going on at the same time. But I did grab the microphone and give a speech about the contest. I'm not positive, but I think I may have been booed during the speech. People were definitely yelling at me to sing. I almost broke out "oops I did it Again" by Britney Spears, but I decided against it. Instead, I spent most of the night rolling around wearing an Ugly shirt interviewing girls. As a side note, most of the Karaoke singers were very good. I felt like I was listening to Night Time Magic with David Allen Bouche. All the songs were very slow. Some dude sang 6 songs before anybody else sang two. I think that's the sign of a problem.

2. What is going on with Little Kim? Is she sneaky becoming one of the Jackson’s? Her face is disgusting.

3.Another great Celtics game to watch last night. It would have been much more enjoyable though if the Lakers weren’t wearing those ridiculous uniforms they keep on wearing. I don’t get the point of that. The LA Lakers are such a historic franchise. It’s fun just seeing the purple shirts on the Parquet because it brings back so many memories. Last night they just looked like a bunch of crap. Regardless, I haven’t seen the Fleet rocking like that since they year the Celts almost won the Eastern Conference. And I understand there are some killjoy’s out there who want to temper everybody’s excitement, but the bottom line is I just want to enjoy some NBA basketball for the rest of the season. I’m not expecting the Celts to win the NBA title, but it’s still fun watching them play.

4. America’s Top Model began again last night. The Amazing Race began on Tuesday. Listen, I love reality TV as much as the next guy but can’t they let us breathe for a second. Doesn’t it seem like these shows never end? And speaking of America's Top Model, who is picking these girls? There was a girl from Terre Haute Indiana who was ugly enough to be Larry Bird's cousin. Meanwhile, I can’t remember the last time a new Curb Your Enthusiasm or Ali G was on. HBO sneaky has one of the greatest scams going of all time. They pull these awesome shows out of their ass which makes you sign up for the channel, but 99% of the time there is absolutely nothing on. It is the worst premium movie channel out there. You know it’s bad when you’re excited that Win a Date with Tad Hamilton is premiering.

5. Now time for some official Stool business. Here are the things we are focusing on at this point and time. First, we need more people to sign up random thoughts now that I forked out the 30 bucks a month so I can send the thing out. So don’t be afraid to tell everybody you know about it or even to sign people up without their knowledge. Second, we still need more sign ups for the March Madness Party on March 18. The more the merrier. There will be free food, tons of Stoolies and degenerate gamblers everywhere.

Reader Email

Email #1

I don’t think that the “NBL’ understands how ridiculous they are. They are trying to promote more guys drinking together. What is the ultimate goal of this league? To have 100 guys in an apartment drinking beer and playing flip cup? Sounds like a blast! The NBL is in the grand tradition of the Babson Funnel Team of the Umass Shotgun Team, a bunch of geeks that put a title on what most other guys do one night a weekend. Sorry if I like to stare at breasts when I am hammered, it is normal to do. More normal than giving a team name to a Mardi Gras size sausage fest. You know what is good for the soul? Getting laid. So hang out with your girlfriend one night and go out with the guys the next. Stop trying to promote these homo parties.

-Brad

Vicious. I almost didn’t print it because I’m not a huge fan of when we get internal wars like this going so I’m going to allow the beer league guy one response and then end it.

Email #2

You are dead-on about Hodges at NC State; he has been there since the Clinton Administration. He actually has a receding hairline, pretty severe too, so you know his tenure has to be just about the fuck up. I love guys like that, who seemingly are at an institution for a decade. Guys like Joey Brown from Georgetown, who by my estimates was starting point guard from 1986-1994. I know Ronny Seikly was at Syracuse for roughly a score, and white guys typically play at Duke for 7 years, then coach for another 10.I hope you are right about BC, and they are just getting a little losing snap out of their system now. This should be a pretty wide-open tourney this year, with I think Illinois being the strong favorite, and if they get hot, Carolina a talented #2 contender. After that, I feel like it is a crap-shoot. One last thought, I watched Syracuse recently, and I am convinced that Warrick could easily tie both shoes, and pull his socks up, without even bending at the waist. He has the wingspan of a Pterodactyl in full flight.
Zach (Chicago)

Hakim Warrick is like Stacy Augman (aka Plastic Man) all over again. I feel like the Kansas point guard has been there since Danny Manning was on the team.

Email #3

“chicks dig a guy that can drink till he can't feel feelings yet still stumble to her place drunk at 3AM, right” Sully

In response to today’s Random Thoughts: Sully of the National Beer League tells me everything I need to know about his little drinking club. Sully, I hate to break it to you, but girls hate it when you stumble to their place drunk at 3am. This is never a good thing and nothing good ever comes out of such behavior. Something tells me that Sully hasn’t been in a relationship in a very long time. Maybe this is why Sully needed to start the National Drinking League – he likely had a lot of free time on his weekends. What my inquiring mind would like to know is if the National Beer League was such a success and if Sully was getting wasted and falling into the arms of beautiful women all over Boston at 3am, why would he move all the way to Denver?

Thanks,
Tmoney2895

Poor Sully.

Email #4

El Presidente,

ESPN radio was interviewing Mort and asking him "what kind of message" the release of Troy Brown was sending to the Patriots players with Brown being the unselfish hero last year. Many pundits think that players (free agents) and current Patriots players will start to leave NE because of how management treated Law, Milloy and Brown. I think the Patriots will definitely look a lot different next year with no Brown, Law, Phifer, and most likely Bruschi. Also the whole offense line is not signed (Gorin I think may have just signed) and Givens is going to test the free agency market. My take is that player movement is a necessary evil in today's salary cap/free agency NFL. Although, a Cowboys fan told me this is how it all starts when you win three SBs in a short period of time. Your coaching staff starts departing, players have rings and they start looking for the bigger contracts. Do you think Patriots management is sending a bad message or is this just shrewd business technique? Is the Pats run starting to come to an end? It's hard to be dominate for an extended period of time in the NFL nowadays.

Andrew J. Bergeron

The great think about the “NFL Pundits” is that virtually all of them have been dead wrong in everything they’ve ever said about the Patriots. I value what the First Lady thinks about the Pats more then the NFL Pundits. I wonder what the NFL Pundits think the message Tom Brady is sending by signing for less then his market value, which by all accounts is what he is going to do?

Email #5

yo el,

first of all, i'd just like to thank you for sharing my exuberance about the celts. admittedly i am a little over the top with my enthusiasm as sully very succinctly pointed out, but i stand by my statements. i know marcus isn't even in the same stratosphere yet as isiah, and the same with ricky and clyde, it was merely a comparison of the players talent potential at the same stages of their careers. watching these 2 play definitely reminds me of those other 2 hall of famers to be in their early formative years. granted i may be overly "giddy" with this team, but i just can't stifle the warm fuzzies i feel about the talent on this squad (even though all the halfwits on espn seem to think philly with webber is the secondcoming of messier with the rangers). it's very easy to say it can't and won't happen (that being #17), but i think that if we step back and give them 2-3 years, and shaq leaves the league, then it's ours for the taking. on to another problem people seem to have with me. the no caps. situation. i have been using all lowercase in my publishings since the advent of email. i know it is frustrating to some (i have had many angry complaints over the years), but it has kind of become my trademark. my m.o. if you will. i do take offense to the "no grammar" complaint though, because i always try be gramatically correct to the best of my ability. if i wasn't, then my rants would be complete unreadable nonsense(which some would argue are anyway). but el, if you will no longer publish my spewings because of my no caps. poetic license i choose to exercise, i will be hurt by the censorship, but i will understand. it is your rag. finally, i'd like to weigh in on the bob halloran controversy. i didn't know he wrote for that other paper, so obviously i am not well versed on the article in question, but i would like to at least defend the man's character. back in 1993 when i graduated from that fine state institution in amherst, i did an internship in the sports department of channel 12 in providence. bob halloran was the weekend anchor there at the time. while i never pursued a career in the t.v. business (i found that for the most part on-air talent was insufferably moronic but very demanding of the much more knowledgable behind the scenes people), i always liked reporting to the studio on the weekends because of halloran. he was a very clever writer, and always knew at least as much about sports, and the personalities involved as i did (which at a local t.v. station in providence is very rare). i could always hold a conversation with him about current events in sports which i couldn't do with the full time weekday anchor there who was tony potts. some of you who watch the show "access hollywood" will recognize potts who is the lead anchor (celebrity cocklicker), from his early days at channel 12. he was awful then, and embarrassing now. but i've always liked and respected halloran even though he has the worst nasally t.v. voice ever.

ed from easton

Ed, first of all you know I love you. I know you bought an Ugly Shirt and I thank you for your support. You are a full fledged Stoolie. That’s why it pains me to tell you that if you don’t somehow start using capital letters I’m going to have to cut you from Random Thoughts. It’s just like Belichick releasing Troy Brown. I’m sure he didn’t want to do it, but it is a business decision.

Email #6

I played poker with ed from easton this Saturday and posed the question that everybody wants answered: "ed, why no capital letters on your barstool posts?"
ed explained: "listen, numnutz...i used to work in a bakery with a real a real loudmouth named gill..a real know-it-all. he was always spouting off about something he knew jackshit about... usually NHL stuff...so, one day i decided to dump a bunch of muffin batter on his head.....you know, just wreck him with muffin batter"

I nodded and ed continued, " so i sneak up on this putz with a bowl of batter while he's blabbing away about doug keans being better than bill ranford or something and slicing pastries ...and i'm about to let him have it when he turns around..."

ed was now standing and reenacting the scene, "so this guy jumps up and tries to block my batter before it hits him...the problem is he never put down the pastry slicing knife...he nearly cut the pinky off my left hand!
silence around the poker table: "so i got nerve damage in my pinky finger and i can't click the shift button on a keyboard...thus no capital letters."
ed swore it was true.

p.s. no one had the heart to tell him about the shift button on the right hand side of the keyboard.

Johnny from Cambridge

I don’t know what to say to this one.