Random Thoughts

Introducing Bonnie from Curry College.  Okay so it says on Bonnie’s facebook profile that she is married to Nolan who was an all time classic former Barstool Smokeshow.  How the fuck did Curry College recruit both of these girls?  They must have been a package deal right?    Seriously forget about the NCAA investigating UConn and let’s look into how Curry got these two bombshells.  This probably makes Blue Chips look like child’s play.

Do you know any smokeshows?    Don’t be shy.  Send them to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com.  And remember you’re not hot in Boston till we say so.

Click here for more of Bonnie

Reader Email

I recently bought this stupid tea pot or Neti Pot to clear up my  sinuses to get over a cold. Not only is it weird as fuck, it didn't even work. The informercial is even weirder. Thought I would share and  please don't ever use one of these, it's not a pleasant experience.

Rose

I almost wish I never saw this video.  Because anybody who knows anything about me knows that I have the worst immune system in the history of mankind.  It’s my one Achilles heel.  If I don’t get 10 hours of sleep a night I get sick.   That’s just how I work.   So naturally I’m a cold remedy freak.   I think I’ve OD’d on zinc tablets, coldies, oranges, airborne and every other immune system gimmick out there.   But I’d never heard of the Nedi Pot before today and I got to say I’m mesmerized by it.   I’m also one of those guys that firmly believes the worst something tastes or the more disgusting it is the better it works.    So even though Rose told me not to try the Nedi Pot, I 100% plan on giving this a whirl.    I don’t know why but it just seems like if I can snort tea in one nostril and have it come out as salt in the other, I’ll never be sick again.   And I’m pretty sure they must sell this at Common Ground in Dorchester which is arguably the weirdest place I’ve ever been in my life.  So count me in for the Nedi Pot.   This bitch looks intense and that’s exactly how I like my medicine and herbal remedies.  But if they think I’m doing the exercises afterwards they’re fucking nuts.

Universal Hub - Transit Police report arresting a Quincy man on charges he used a column at the Haymarket Orange Line stop to help pleasure himself last night as a woman watched on in horror from the other side of the tracks. Police say they were called to the station around 9:45 p.m. after the woman, on the northbound side, allegedly spotted Richard Mullaney, 41, first exposing himself, then using a silver support column on the southbound platform for more than just support: The victim stated she could clearly see R. Mullaney's penis and genitals hanging outside his pants, his hands at his sides. R. Mullaney Jr. was looking at her as he was rocking back and forth, rubbing his penis and genitals against the support column. The victim was so "shocked and alarmed" by this behavior she immediately went to the lobby and [asked a customer service agent to summon police]. Transit Police say Mullaney is a level-1 sex offender, which means the state considers him "a low risk of recidivism and degree of dangerousness."

And this my friends is why I NEVER touch anything when I ride the T.   My motto is when in doubt act like you could catch SARS.  You just never know who jizzed, shit, pissed or rubbed their junk all over where you are putting your hands.  

Anyway it looks like the state can reconsider their level 1 sex offender tag on this guy.    I mean when you’re fucking a pole at the Haymarket T Stop I think that earns you at least level 3 sex offender status right?   Seriously this guy just shit all over Level 1.

Orlando - A 911 dispatcher had to tell a woman how to unlock her car on Sunday. A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana. "My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said. "Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well." The dispatcher asked the woman if she was able to manually pull the lock up on the door. The woman said she would try, and then, she said, "Yes, I got the door open."
Listen: Woman locked inside car calls 911

Because it's April 1st, I have my guard up more than usual today for internet hoaxes. But that's not the only reason I think this story might not be on the level. It sounds suspiciously like one of those lame "BlondeStar" bits that every FM Morning Zoo DJ in the world thought were hilarious about three years ago. On the other hand, this allegedly happened in Florida, and there's no level of stupidity I'd put beyond the grasp of the slack jawed yokels living in God's On Deck Circle. Besides that, I have one hard & fast rule when it comes to believing something. And that is, I'll believe anything so long as it's something I want to be real. And I really hope this story is real. A story like this is the reason 912 was invented. Or should be. But in the interest of democracy, I'll put it up to a vote. Vote "10" for it's real and "1" for "April Fool's, sucka."

Vs.

This is a tough one because it's two totally different genres. But I still got to give the edge to "It". Just too much going on in the fat kid video with fluffy barking in the background and his sister trying to get in on the act. I bet Mozart didn't have to put up with these distractions. Just let the kid do his thing. Although I did like how the sister seemed totally unfazed by this performance.

Vote 1 for "It" and 10 for "fat kid"

- Thanks to Dave for the tip. Feel free to advertise whenever you want

Okay two quick things;

1. Tonight is the Tournament of Champions at Game On! So all trivia teams that have qualified should show up. The Prizes are as follows;

1st place - $200 bucks per man

2nd place - $100 bucks per man

3rd Place - Scratch Tickets

And since my team somehow didn't qualify I will be rolling around as the ref. If I see any cell phones at all it's an automatic 10 pt penalty. The 2nd time is a DQ. I don't care whether you're calling 911 because you're having a heart attack. Do it on your own time. We're playing for big bucks so we're going to be sticklers on this.

#2 - Our 4^th annual Cover Model of the Year Party is tomorrow at Liquor Store.    Party starts at 9pm.   We had a great turnout last year so hopefully we’ll have another good one for this year.  RSVP to covermodelparty@barstoolsports.com if you haven't already to get in.   As a reminder we vote live for the 2008 Cover Model of the Year winner who receives $1,000 bucks cash.  

2005

2006

2007

I can't decide whether I fucking hate this girl or not. At first I was 100% convinced that she was doing this on purpose. Like it was part of some dumb ass social experiment or something. But the more I thought about it the more I began to think that maybe she legitimately had to get up that escalator? I mean after the game is over once you come down is there any way to get back up besides this? Maybe she forgot something? If that's the case then this is hilarious. If she was just trying to make a scene then I hope somebody stabs her in the mouth with a dick.

I'm curious what people think? Vote 1 for this chick was causing a scene on purpose and 10 for she legitimately needed to get up the escalator and this was the only way.

Kudos to Universal Hub for the find

UMATILLA - A 37-year-old Umatilla woman accused of punching her 69-year-old live-in boyfriend in the head while he was taking a shower was charged with battery on a person over 65, according to a Marion County Sheriff’s Office report. The woman, Sandy Jo Tracy, claimed he had been cheating on her. The victim, William Webb, told Deputy Danny Garrels Jr. that on Monday around 8:30 p.m. he was taking a shower at their Umatilla home when Tracy ripped the shower curtain off the rod and began screaming at him, accusing him of having an affair with another woman. Webb told the deputy she kept hitting him in the head with her fist. The man said he tried deflecting the blows with his left arm. He also said Tracy continued to hit him while he was getting dressed. On her way to the jail, Tracy reportedly told Garrels she should've hit Webb harder and was going to get even with him for cheating and having her arrested.

Nothing justifies domestic violence, but still I think I can understand what drove Sandy Jo to this extreme. First of all, in places like Umatilla, Florida, this type of thing is considered foreplay. Second, how else could she react? Put yourself in her shoes, a hot piece of ass like her gives a guy the best years of her life and he cheats on her? It's got to be devastating. I'll bet she knows exactly how Jennifer Aniston felt. Well the joke's on Billy Webb, because a strong, fierce, independant woman like Sandy Jo won't be single for long. Somewhere out there there's another 69 year old man with failing eyesight and pisspoor judgment and when she finds him, Webb will be in her rearview mirror and can go die in the arms of his little slut for all she'll care.

I can’t believe “He Slimed Me” made this list.    Somewhere on a deserted island Pete Manzo smiles.    But seriously this list is supremely flawed.   How does a quote from the “300” slide into this thing.   Don’t get me wrong it was still an entertaining 200 seconds, but this list is nowhere near reliable.    And if I know our readers like I think I do they will shred this thing to pieces within 3 seconds starting now…

Click Here for the Answer

Boston.com - From left: Miss Vermont Brooke Werner, Miss Connecticut Monica Pietrzak, and Miss Massachusetts Alison Cronin of Weymouth.

Umm, I hate to say it but I don't like Miss Massachusetts's chances in the Miss USA pageant this year. I mean she just got like tomahawk dunked on by Miss Vermont here. Her only chance is she's going to play a Princeton style offense, slow the game down, limit possessions and hope for the best. Unfortunately I'm not sure you can do that in Beauty Pageants.

PS - Miss Connecticut is a former Barstool Cover Model. But last time I mentioned that on the Stool she freaked out and sent me a nasty email saying I wasn't allowed to put pictures of her on Barstool Sports without permission from the Miss USA pageant or something fucked up like that. First Lady was pissd. Keep in mind I posted a picture of her on our cover! I'm pretty sure I don't need permission for that. Oh well. I guess not everybody is proud of their Barstool past. I got to be honest. It kind of made me feel dirty on the inside. But I guess that comes with the territory of being a sleaze merchant.

PS - Get me pics of Miss Vermont Now!

Yikes. This kind of reminded me of what the city of Boston has being doing to the rest of the world for this entire century. One punch and it's a visit to the plastic surgeon. Oh and by the way I did read that article on Looch in the Globe yesterday. And just as an FYI we've already posted that video of him wrecking ass about a million times but here it is again for those of you who have never seen it.

Reader Email

Pres,

In no shape or form a do I have homophobia.  In fact I'm a huge supporter of gay rights.  The plain fact here is I think the "Fagbug" parked on the lawn of Bryant University does more harm than good....

Guess I'm just confused as to how a multicolored VW with "fag" on the side is going to end hate crimes...

Keep up the good work,

John

http://fagbug.com/

Okay like John here I could give a shit less if somebody is gay or not.  I mean I like pussy, but if a dude likes dick than more power to him.  But what is the deal with the Fag Bug?  Is this pro or anti gay?  Because I thought gay dudes hated being called fags?  Or is this like when a black person uses the N word as a compliment.   That must be the way it works right?  How else can you explain the Fag Bug? 

PS – All this fag talk got me thinking about American Idol.   Did people see Adam Lambert last night?  Per usual another blockbuster vocal performance, but I hated that song so it was my least favorite performance of the season by him.    He’s still the only person worth watching, but I won’t be buying this one on Itunes like I have all his others.

As everybody knows I’m not a huge hockey guy but I’ve never seen anything like this goal before.  Very cool.   I gave it a 9.

- Thanks to our Finish Friend Robert S for the tip

So as it turns out UB's little April Fools Joke turned out to be win-win for everyone. The Stoolies get a real Wake Up with April Bowlby's tits, and UB gets his email in-box blown up...See you suckers at the party...

More of real April fun here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com

After careful negotiations between her manager and Barstool lawyers, your Uncle Buck has FINALLY obtained the rights to photos to do the first ever Wake Up with BarstoolSports' own: KATI CAWLEY!!! UB would like to thank El Pres as well as the beautiful Kati herself for the first crack at Miss Cawley's personal collection. In the words of KG: "Anything is Possible!"

The one and only Kati Cawley

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com