Random Thoughts
Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day (Bonnie)
Introducing Bonnie from Curry College. Okay so it says on Bonnie’s facebook profile that she is married to Nolan who was an all time classic former Barstool Smokeshow. How the fuck did Curry College recruit both of these girls? They must have been a package deal right? Seriously forget about the NCAA investigating UConn and let’s look into how Curry got these two bombshells. This probably makes Blue Chips look like child’s play.
Do you know any smokeshows? Don’t be shy. Send them to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com. And remember you’re not hot in Boston till we say so.
Reader Email - WTF is the Nedi Pot?
Reader Email
I recently bought this stupid tea pot or Neti Pot to clear up my sinuses to get over a cold. Not only is it weird as fuck, it didn't even work. The informercial is even weirder. Thought I would share and please don't ever use one of these, it's not a pleasant experience.
Rose
I almost wish I never saw this video. Because anybody who knows anything about me knows that I have the worst immune system in the history of mankind. It’s my one Achilles heel. If I don’t get 10 hours of sleep a night I get sick. That’s just how I work. So naturally I’m a cold remedy freak. I think I’ve OD’d on zinc tablets, coldies, oranges, airborne and every other immune system gimmick out there. But I’d never heard of the Nedi Pot before today and I got to say I’m mesmerized by it. I’m also one of those guys that firmly believes the worst something tastes or the more disgusting it is the better it works. So even though Rose told me not to try the Nedi Pot, I 100% plan on giving this a whirl. I don’t know why but it just seems like if I can snort tea in one nostril and have it come out as salt in the other, I’ll never be sick again. And I’m pretty sure they must sell this at Common Ground in Dorchester which is arguably the weirdest place I’ve ever been in my life. So count me in for the Nedi Pot. This bitch looks intense and that’s exactly how I like my medicine and herbal remedies. But if they think I’m doing the exercises afterwards they’re fucking nuts.
Does This Look Like the Face of A Quincy Man Who Would Fuck A Pole At the Haymarket Tstop?
Universal Hub - Transit Police report arresting a Quincy man on charges he used a column at the Haymarket Orange Line stop to help pleasure himself last night as a woman watched on in horror from the other side of the tracks. Police say they were called to the station around 9:45 p.m. after the woman, on the northbound side, allegedly spotted Richard Mullaney, 41, first exposing himself, then using a silver support column on the southbound platform for more than just support: The victim stated she could clearly see R. Mullaney's penis and genitals hanging outside his pants, his hands at his sides. R. Mullaney Jr. was looking at her as he was rocking back and forth, rubbing his penis and genitals against the support column. The victim was so "shocked and alarmed" by this behavior she immediately went to the lobby and [asked a customer service agent to summon police]. Transit Police say Mullaney is a level-1 sex offender, which means the state considers him "a low risk of recidivism and degree of dangerousness."
And this my friends is why I NEVER touch anything when I ride the T. My motto is when in doubt act like you could catch SARS. You just never know who jizzed, shit, pissed or rubbed their junk all over where you are putting your hands.
Anyway it looks like the state can reconsider their level 1 sex offender tag on this guy. I mean when you’re fucking a pole at the Haymarket T Stop I think that earns you at least level 3 sex offender status right? Seriously this guy just shit all over Level 1.
Is This Legit? Woman Locked in Her Car Calls 911
Orlando - A 911 dispatcher had to tell a woman how to unlock her car on Sunday. A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana. "My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said. "Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well." The dispatcher asked the woman if she was able to manually pull the lock up on the door. The woman said she would try, and then, she said, "Yes, I got the door open."
Listen: Woman locked inside car calls 911
Because it's April 1st, I have my guard up more than usual today for internet hoaxes. But that's not the only reason I think this story might not be on the level. It sounds suspiciously like one of those lame "BlondeStar" bits that every FM Morning Zoo DJ in the world thought were hilarious about three years ago. On the other hand, this allegedly happened in Florida, and there's no level of stupidity I'd put beyond the grasp of the slack jawed yokels living in God's On Deck Circle. Besides that, I have one hard & fast rule when it comes to believing something. And that is, I'll believe anything so long as it's something I want to be real. And I really hope this story is real. A story like this is the reason 912 was invented. Or should be. But in the interest of democracy, I'll put it up to a vote. Vote "10" for it's real and "1" for "April Fool's, sucka."
"It" Vs. Fat Kid....Who Ya Got?
Vs.
This is a tough one because it's two totally different genres. But I still got to give the edge to "It". Just too much going on in the fat kid video with fluffy barking in the background and his sister trying to get in on the act. I bet Mozart didn't have to put up with these distractions. Just let the kid do his thing. Although I did like how the sister seemed totally unfazed by this performance.
Vote 1 for "It" and 10 for "fat kid"
- Thanks to Dave for the tip. Feel free to advertise whenever you want
Stool Business
Okay two quick things;
1. Tonight is the Tournament of Champions at Game On! So all trivia teams that have qualified should show up. The Prizes are as follows;
1st place - $200 bucks per man
2nd place - $100 bucks per man
3rd Place - Scratch Tickets
And since my team somehow didn't qualify I will be rolling around as the ref. If I see any cell phones at all it's an automatic 10 pt penalty. The 2nd time is a DQ. I don't care whether you're calling 911 because you're having a heart attack. Do it on your own time. We're playing for big bucks so we're going to be sticklers on this.
#2 - Our 4th annual Cover Model of the Year Party is tomorrow at Liquor Store. Party starts at 9pm. We had a great turnout last year so hopefully we’ll have another good one for this year. RSVP to covermodelparty@barstoolsports.com if you haven't already to get in. As a reminder we vote live for the 2008 Cover Model of the Year winner who receives $1,000 bucks cash.
2005
2006
2007
Chick Walks Up Escalator At B's Game
I can't decide whether I fucking hate this girl or not. At first I was 100% convinced that she was doing this on purpose. Like it was part of some dumb ass social experiment or something. But the more I thought about it the more I began to think that maybe she legitimately had to get up that escalator? I mean after the game is over once you come down is there any way to get back up besides this? Maybe she forgot something? If that's the case then this is hilarious. If she was just trying to make a scene then I hope somebody stabs her in the mouth with a dick.
I'm curious what people think? Vote 1 for this chick was causing a scene on purpose and 10 for she legitimately needed to get up the escalator and this was the only way.
Kudos to Universal Hub for the find
Does This Look Like the Face of a 37 Year Old Who Beat Up Her 69 Year Old Boyfriend for Cheating on Her?
UMATILLA - A 37-year-old Umatilla woman accused of punching her 69-year-old live-in boyfriend in the head while he was taking a shower was charged with battery on a person over 65, according to a Marion County Sheriff’s Office report. The woman, Sandy Jo Tracy, claimed he had been cheating on her. The victim, William Webb, told Deputy Danny Garrels Jr. that on Monday around 8:30 p.m. he was taking a shower at their Umatilla home when Tracy ripped the shower curtain off the rod and began screaming at him, accusing him of having an affair with another woman. Webb told the deputy she kept hitting him in the head with her fist. The man said he tried deflecting the blows with his left arm. He also said Tracy continued to hit him while he was getting dressed. On her way to the jail, Tracy reportedly told Garrels she should've hit Webb harder and was going to get even with him for cheating and having her arrested.
Nothing justifies domestic violence, but still I think I can understand what drove Sandy Jo to this extreme. First of all, in places like Umatilla, Florida, this type of thing is considered foreplay. Second, how else could she react? Put yourself in her shoes, a hot piece of ass like her gives a guy the best years of her life and he cheats on her? It's got to be devastating. I'll bet she knows exactly how Jennifer Aniston felt. Well the joke's on Billy Webb, because a strong, fierce, independant woman like Sandy Jo won't be single for long. Somewhere out there there's another 69 year old man with failing eyesight and pisspoor judgment and when she finds him, Webb will be in her rearview mirror and can go die in the arms of his little slut for all she'll care.
100 Best Movie Lines in 200 Seconds
I can’t believe “He Slimed Me” made this list. Somewhere on a deserted island Pete Manzo smiles. But seriously this list is supremely flawed. How does a quote from the “300” slide into this thing. Don’t get me wrong it was still an entertaining 200 seconds, but this list is nowhere near reliable. And if I know our readers like I think I do they will shred this thing to pieces within 3 seconds starting now…
"Gonna need a bigger boat is in there!
"welcome to earth"-ID4
"sa da te"-pootie tang
"agree to disagree"-anchorman
"what the fuck is the internet?"-jay and silent bob strike back
but actually that was a bad list, just tough to only do 100
weezy, did you get banned again?
Better repost...
This site has a pretty good list of ideas for April Fools pranks. The 8th one is the best... I can't believe someone could train a cat to do that.
*wasnt a bad list
way to edit yourself and take "gonna need a bigger boat" out of your commentary before anyone noticed, pres
"Deserves got nothin to do with it"
it's my computers fault. I can't fucking see since coffee gate
Napolean Dynamite??? Will ferrell's line from wedding crashers?? Not bad, but where the list was bad, it was awful.
yes i did get banned. no i do not know why. i contribute nothing but gold.
"was she a great big fat person?" from SOTL should be on the list...
Pretty good, really.
Okay not verbatim but "It puts the lotion in the basket"
It wouldn't fit in the montage above, but this is one of my favorites
I agree weezy
— elpresidente, Apr 01 2009, 1:18 pm
or hear?
They missed every line Clint Eastwood had in Gran Torino.
Pres - you've had 2 Ms. Connecticut's as cover models. The first was Lauren back in like 2005 or something.
wow...they couldnt get a dumb and dumber line in there?
This list sucks and I haven't even watched it yet. (obligatory comment)
— CptKangarooBalls, Apr 01 2009, 1:15 pm
But you are right. Really? "You can do it" is top 100?
"are you here for the feeding?"-road trip
"the thing about my back is its located on my cock"-superbad
"its hard to believe that only five years ago those girls were in grade school"-al michaels in baseketball
"It's over Johnny.......IT'S OVER!" - Col. Trautman in First Blood
nothing from Deliverance? bush league
— windycitywoodrow, Apr 01 2009, 1:24 pm
he was awesome in that, a newer archie bunnker
"Orange whip? Orange Whip? 3 orange whips."- John Candy The Blues Brothers
"Bring out the gimp."- Pulp Fiction
"So you're saying, there's a chance!"-Lloyd Christmas Dumb & Dumber
"Look at you scared now, you hoe. Scared like a little white pussy. Scared of the real man. I'll fuck you 'til you love me, faggot!" -TYSON
not a single Samuel L. Jackson, or Morgan Freeman.
"Yes they deserved to die, and i hope they burn in hell!!" ...come on now...
I could think of at least 5 classics from "Someting About Mary'
I can't believe that list didn't include Ogre yelling, "NERDS!!!"
I have one thing to say about this list....
"Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn."
I could eat a peach for hooourrrss
"Whats that on your ear? Is that.....hair gel"
back then they didn't have any fancy birth control methods.. like pulling out.
Dirty Work
bite the curb! american history X
Not bad... few ommisions however:
1. "I'll be back" Arnold
2. "Gnarly!" Jeff Spicoli
3 "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?" Bluto
4 "You'll get nothing and like it" Judge Smails
I'm Smaaaart, I can do things
Fredo
"Pain don't hurt." Road House
— f youk, Apr 01 2009, 1:42 pm
controversial, but that line changed my life so good call.
"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?" Bluto— Vincent Vega, Apr 01 2009, 1:44 pm
would have been better than "toga!"...nice
fuck me harder yeah cum on my face.
Cum Sluts 17.
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age" Dazed and Confused
"Hes the reason for the teardrops on my guitar"
"You got knocked the Fuck Out !"
"Ear-muffs"
Honestly? "Welcome to the party pal" beats "Yippee kay-ay motherfucker?"
— TeamFingerBlast, Apr 01 2009, 1:17 pm
DOUCHE
Why so serious?
I'm shocked! Shocked to find gambling Here.
Your winnings sir.
Oh thank you very much.
Roy Munson: "Hi, I hope you don’t mind. I got up a little early so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Took a little while to get her warmed up. She sure is a stubborn one." Mr. Boorg: "We don't have a cow. We have a bull!"
Jaxx good call
That should have been in there
"im gonna take you to the bank Senator Trent, to the blood bank."
Steven Segal as Mason Storm in Hard to Kill.
Why so serious?
I'm shocked! Shocked to find gambling Here.
Your winnings sir.
Oh thank you very much.
— JAXX, Apr 01 2009, 1:53 pm
YES!
I didn't see one from Blazing Saddles either.
"You said 'rape' twice."
"I like rape."
Roy Munson: "Hi, I hope you don’t mind. I got up a little early so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Took a little while to get her warmed up. She sure is a stubborn one." Mr. Boorg: "We don't have a cow. We have a bull!"
— windycitywoodrow, Apr 01 2009, 1:55 pm
hahaha. i guess they "Munsoned" this list.
The list was great, but there are so many better ones.
"A naked American man stole my balloons"
"The only thing hiding (stutter)it in the pool did was made it pretty"
"Insanity runs in my family, it practically gallups."
"It better be one charming, mother-f^&%ing pig"
"Where is the sign out front that says dead, N%$^er dropoff?"
"I'll suck your c$%^ for a thousand dollars"
"There's two kinds of people in this world. Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."
"I'll find 'em for 10, but I'll catch em and kill for 20".
"I'm the chief of police. I can do whatever I want."
"I hope you fully understand the magnitude of your impending good fortune."
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son."
"Is that a pledge pin on your uniform?"
"I don't know if you've been keeping up with current events, but we just got our asses kicked."
"Two days ago I saw a rig that could haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me."
"I got a bad feeling on this one. A bad feeling."
"When someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes!"
And, EP's favorite...
"I want him dead, I want his family dead, I want to .....ashes"
"but bitch ain't in the bible? well neither is motherfucker so you better drive this motherfucking car because i'm about to pull your motherfucking application"
"Mmmmmm, Juicy Fruit."
Now go home and get your fucking shinebox!
Get off my plane
Do you think you used enough dymamite Butch?
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."
Good bye Mr. Bond
Shane!
Nothing’s too good for the man who shot Liberty Valance.”
That's a lotta talk from a one eyed fat man
“You’re not gonna stick around for your share?”
“Naah. I’d only blow it.”
“Here’s to Nick.”
“The horror. The horror.”
“The way of the future. The way of the future.”
What Hump?
True Romance didnt make the cut....
Samual L. Jackson before getting one in the chest:
"I eat the pussy, I eat the butt, I eat every motherfuckin' thang..."
Not bad but "You make me want to be a better man" from As Good as it Gets clearly should have been "People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch" - far better quote
"I'm sick of these mothfuckin snakes.....on this motherfuckin plane"
"you know Scilians were spawned by n***ers"
"Sell crazy somewhere else...we're all full here" As good as it gets!
#1 movie for one liners of all time = Caddy shack
On your death bed you will receive total conciousness. so I got that going for me.. which is nice.
goonga galoonga goonga
Your a great kid, what time you due back in boystown?
#2 Anything from Blazing Saddles
Don't send the horses, send a ni&&er.
#3 Tombstone
I ain't gonna fight you kid. There's no money in it.
I'm your huckleberry.
Maybe pokers not your game. Lets have a spelling contest.
His art suck but he used to sell me really good pot. Man, I'm so friggin horny!
Get 'im a body bag! Yeeeeaaaah!
Oh yeah, Chee-eese! Didn't we lock you in a dumpster?
Secretary "How do you write women"
Jack Nicholson "I think of a man and then take away reason and accountability"
As Good as it Gets
"Lighten up, Francis" Sgt Hulka, Stripes
"Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe fuck yourself" Sgt Dignan, Departed
Charlie Chaplin once had a Charlie Chaplin look-a-like contest and came in third...now thats a story- Bruce Willis in Lucky Number Slevin.
"Suck my white ass ball"- Happy Gilmore
"He called the shit, poop!" - Billy Madison
Daddy, would you like some sausages?!"- Freddy got fingered
"Three stacks of high society"- Rounders
"I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is more than I can bear"- The Patriot
Well, fuck you, too. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass! Fuck Jacob Elinsky, whining malcontent. Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass. Fuck Naturelle Riviera, I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river, fucking bitch. Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar sipping on club sodas, selling whisky to firemen, cheering the Bronx bombers. Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row-houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fucking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place. == Monty Brogan 25th Hour
"Little hand says it's time to rock and roll!"
def had some good movies involved but overall completly sucked. I cant believe they included fuckin blair witch. the top gun quote was prob one of the worst lines in the movie and they didnt include dumb and dumber at all. o ya and what about this one...
"do you believe in miracles?!?!?!"
Needs more Clint Eastwood!
Get off my lawn.
"Hello Peter. Whaaaaat's happening?"
"Its not tipping I believe in. Its overtipping!"
Fuck bobbykid! and his cut and paste quotes...
Nah just kidding...thanks for the quote. I'll have to check that one out.
Great list...
If you think it sucks, you don't know dick about movies.
Animal house
"Mind if we dance Wiff Yo Dates"
"No.. Not at all.. Go right ahead"
They Run outside
"Otter! The Negros stole our dates!"
"It's over Johnny.......IT'S OVER!" - Col. Trautman in First Blood
— Mike Francesa, Apr 01 2009, 1:29 pm
Absolutely
and
— bobbykid, Apr 01 2009, 3:05 pm
i have nipples greg, can you milk me?
"No, it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing." - Dumb and Dumber
"We got a bleeder!" - There's Something About Mary
"That was my first Asian!" - Wedding Crashers
"Billy, listen to me. White men can't jump." - White Men Can't Jump
"I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?" - Meet the Parents
"If things go well I might be showing her my O-face." - Office Space
And the one that absolutely blew my fucking mind...
"How do you like them apples?" - Good Will Hunting
This list is mising so much.
"She rescues him right back." --Pretty Woman
"Donny, You're out of you're element!" --Big Lebowski
"The horror!" --Apocalypse Now
Pretty much anything Gunnery Sergeant Hartman says in Full Metal Jacket.
"One time in band camp..." --American Pie
"Impress us with your drugs." --Sid and Nancy
"Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it." American Psycho
well, the world needs ditch diggers too...
-Yo man if your gonna do Roundes, the quote is "you can't lose what you don't put in the middle...but you can't win much either." first of all.
-It wasn't so funny when me and Silo Johnson double-teamed your wife
-Beerfest
-Hope if a good thing...maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.
There should be AT LEAST 10 quotes from the Godfather trilogy.
"revenge is a meal best served cold" denzel - man on fire
"show me the money" -jerry maguire
"just cause you spend a lot of time in the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary" -kingpin
just to name a few
also the "do you concur" line from Catch Me if You Can is funny as hell too.
"You built a time machine out of a DeLorean?"....
who agrees that quote should have been in the top 100?
or... "Do youuu belong to the Physics club?"
"Nice Beaver" - Naked Gun
"Come out with your pants down" - Beavis & Butthead
"One ping please" - Hunt for Red October
"How could you not notice a man sticking a banana in your tail pipe" - Beverly Hills Cop
"Hello. McFly" - Back to the Future
"Welcome to City Wok, take your order please" - South Park
"Do you know what kind of bomb it was? The exploding kind" - Pink Panther
"Don't move dirt bag!" - Police Academy
— Monkey_Spanker, Apr 02 2009, 7:30 am
Pink Panther "The shipment of new Goyters protected me from the explosion"
so fucking dead on weezy..SOTL...but you gotta throw in the prepatory line..."OoOh wait(in all his creepiness)(wait for it..)Was she a great big fat person?"
Even "It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again" thats fucking gold! pure fucking gold! And for good measure..why not throw in the meat chokin prisoner when det. sterling walks by..the dude goes "(sniiff)I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNT!!" and then slings his yogurt at her face
SOME GOOD DUMB AND DUMBER LINES
"So why you headed to the airport?....flyin somewhere?"-loyd
"howd you guess"-mary swanson
"well,i noticed you had a ticket and when i saw you luggage i put 2 and 2 together"-loyd
"So where ya headed?"-lloyd
"Aspen"-mary swanson
"AHH California!..niiice."-lloyd
"You sold our dead bird to a blind kid!?"-harry
"LOYD! PETEY DIDNT EVEN HAVE A HEAD!"-harry
"HARRY,...I took care of it."-lloyd
(cut to blind kid)Pretty bird,yeea pretty bird...pauly wanna cracker?"-blind kid
"wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world!?(annoying sound)-lloyd xmas
"You know...I bathe them, clip them,primp them, ive even bred them."-harry
"Really? any unusual breeding?"-mary swanson
"No, mainly just doggy style."-harry
(lloyd walks out of the lobby bar, looks at poster article)
"No wayyy...........WEVE LANDED ON THE MOON!"-lloyd
"KICK HIS ASS SEABASS!"-random townie at dinner
"Mary, theres something i wanna say....I DESPERATELY WANNA MAKE LOVE TO A SCHOOLBOY!"-lloyd xmas
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I Don't Like Miss MA's Chances
Boston.com - From left: Miss Vermont Brooke Werner, Miss Connecticut Monica Pietrzak, and Miss Massachusetts Alison Cronin of Weymouth.
Umm, I hate to say it but I don't like Miss Massachusetts's chances in the Miss USA pageant this year. I mean she just got like tomahawk dunked on by Miss Vermont here. Her only chance is she's going to play a Princeton style offense, slow the game down, limit possessions and hope for the best. Unfortunately I'm not sure you can do that in Beauty Pageants.
PS - Miss Connecticut is a former Barstool Cover Model. But last time I mentioned that on the Stool she freaked out and sent me a nasty email saying I wasn't allowed to put pictures of her on Barstool Sports without permission from the Miss USA pageant or something fucked up like that. First Lady was pissd. Keep in mind I posted a picture of her on our cover! I'm pretty sure I don't need permission for that. Oh well. I guess not everybody is proud of their Barstool past. I got to be honest. It kind of made me feel dirty on the inside. But I guess that comes with the territory of being a sleaze merchant.
PS - Get me pics of Miss Vermont Now!
Most Lopsided Fight In NHL History
Yikes. This kind of reminded me of what the city of Boston has being doing to the rest of the world for this entire century. One punch and it's a visit to the plastic surgeon. Oh and by the way I did read that article on Looch in the Globe yesterday. And just as an FYI we've already posted that video of him wrecking ass about a million times but here it is again for those of you who have never seen it.
Reader Email - Is The Fagbug At Bryant University Good For Gay Rights?
Reader Email
Pres,
In no shape or form a do I have homophobia. In fact I'm a huge supporter of gay rights. The plain fact here is I think the "Fagbug" parked on the lawn of Bryant University does more harm than good....
Guess I'm just confused as to how a multicolored VW with "fag" on the side is going to end hate crimes...
Keep up the good work,
John
http://fagbug.com/
Okay like John here I could give a shit less if somebody is gay or not. I mean I like pussy, but if a dude likes dick than more power to him. But what is the deal with the Fag Bug? Is this pro or anti gay? Because I thought gay dudes hated being called fags? Or is this like when a black person uses the N word as a compliment. That must be the way it works right? How else can you explain the Fag Bug?
PS – All this fag talk got me thinking about American Idol. Did people see Adam Lambert last night? Per usual another blockbuster vocal performance, but I hated that song so it was my least favorite performance of the season by him. He’s still the only person worth watching, but I won’t be buying this one on Itunes like I have all his others.
Rate This Shootout Goal
As everybody knows I’m not a huge hockey guy but I’ve never seen anything like this goal before. Very cool. I gave it a 9.
- Thanks to our Finish Friend Robert S for the tip
April Fools! Wake Up with April Bowlby
So as it turns out UB's little April Fools Joke turned out to be win-win for everyone. The Stoolies get a real Wake Up with April Bowlby's tits, and UB gets his email in-box blown up...See you suckers at the party...
More of real April fun here...
Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com
Wake Up with Barstool's Own Kati Cawley
After careful negotiations between her manager and Barstool lawyers, your Uncle Buck has FINALLY obtained the rights to photos to do the first ever Wake Up with BarstoolSports' own: KATI CAWLEY!!! UB would like to thank El Pres as well as the beautiful Kati herself for the first crack at Miss Cawley's personal collection. In the words of KG: "Anything is Possible!"
Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com
This list sucks and I haven't even watched it yet. (obligatory comment)