TSG - Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

Most surprising part of this story is that for once, the prostitute involved is actually not half bad looking. If there's one common thread running through all "celebrity runs afoul of street hooker" stories is that the ho involved usually has one of those meth faces that makes babies cry. But Sasha Harris is kinda hot. Is she worth a thousand bucks? No, but then again I'm not making ShamWow Guy money. The least surprising part is that Shlomi was soliciting prostitutes in the first place. Sure, you're probably thinking "Why would he need to pay for sex? He's ShamWow Guy. He gave the world the towel that's also a chamois that's also a sponge and it's made in Germany where they always give us good stuff. What woman wouldn't want to get with him?" But you're missing the point. A world class babe hound like Vince Shlomi doesn't pay a hooker for sex, he pays her to go away afterward. And while I'm all against violence against women, I respect his right to straight sex for a free, without getting his tongue bitten. And if she's gonna pull that crap against the guy who taught us how to make ice cream toppings with just a slap, she shouldn't be surprised if he Slap Chops her across the room. Still, could there be a better ad than this? He damn near gets his tongue bitten off and there's not a drop of blood on his clothes? I'm not saying "Wow," I'm saying "ShamWow!" There's no word on what set Sasha off, but I'm guessing she didn't love his nuts: