Random Thoughts
Freaky Friday Sweet 16 Mortal Locks (16-8 In Tourny)
Okay I was 2-2 yesterday, but in real life I was 0-3 in classic El Pres gambling style. I went to the games and was too busy drinking and somehow missed the Purdue/Uconn tip. So I decided I’d wait till half time of both of the first games to place my bets. I took Purdue 2nd half line. (blowout loser) and I took the over in Xavier vs. Pitt (Xavier scored 18 points in the 2nd half) Then after I lost both those games I did an if win bet with the Over in Villanova and Villanova because I only had a dime left in my account. Long story short I was 0-3 even though I was 2-2 in the games I liked at the start of the night. Vintage bad gambling and the reason that no matter what I do or how hot I am, I’ll always be a born loser Most people are probably shaking their heads right now thinking I’m beyond nuts, but a few degenerates out there are probably giving me a slow clap. And the best part is that everybody else I went to the game with swept the board as I was sitting there miserable as I can be rooting for points. Anyway onto the pics for tonight…I’m retired again but I hope you win so you can buy some tshirts and help me pay the man.
Kansas vs. MSU -1
I almost like this pick as much as I did Villanova last night. I have Kansas as my sleeper pick to win the whole thing and now that Memphis is gone they have as good a shot as anybody in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong Michigan State is a good team but I just don’t see the Jayhawks losing here.
The pick – Kansas
Arizona vs. Louisville -9.5
Arizona beat Cleveland State so they must be legit.
The Pick – Arizona
Syracuse vs. Oklahoma -1
Now ordinarily I’d say Syracuse is a layup here. But I saw how OU cheated against Michigan. I saw how the refs called a charge on Manny Harris for breathing while at the same time letting Blake Griffin body slam people in the paint without a call. So I’m a little nervous that this is an inside job for the Sooners. But having said that I’m still going with the ever stylish Gerry McNamara and the Cuse.
The Pick – Syracuse
Gonzaga vs. NC -8.5
Duke looked good last night huh? Seriously how pathetic is the ACC? Just like I’ve been saying from Day 1 the conference is filled with teams that are soft, dimwitted and weak like the Ukraine. North Carolina is probably a bubble team if they play in the Big East. Sure they may sneak by Gonzaga here, but it will be a battle the whole way.
The Pic - Zags
Barstool Meet the Model Tonight At the Kells
For anybody in the Brighton area we have a Meet the Model promo tonight at the Kells from 10-12pm. Meet/stalk the following two former Barstool Cover Girls. This weeks cover girl was supposed to be there too but she bailed this morning at 11am. No big deal. Not like we advertised it for 2 weeks or nothing. Got to fucking love hot chicks who live on planet Zutron. People think dealing with smokeshows is easy. Think again.
Does This Look Like The Face Of A New Hampshire Woman Busted For Collecting Dog Shit while Naked from the Waist Down?
PORTSMOUTH — Police arrested a city woman on a charge of indecent exposure alleging she was collecting dog feces while naked from the waist down. Susan Bell, 42, of 76 Manor Drive, was arrested Thursday after turning herself in on a warrant for the misdemeanor charge, said Police Sgt. Darrin Sargent. The charge alleges that on Feb. 28 at 6:20 a.m., Bell was pantless while picking up dog feces in a Manor Drive courtyard. Following her arrest, Bell was released on her own recognizance and she has not yet been scheduled for an arraignment.
Listen I want to defend this lady I really do. I mean I have no problem if somebody wants to walk pantless through a park. And I have no problem if somebody wants to collect dog shit. This is still America right? But when you combine the two activities that’s when you run into trouble. It’s kind of like separation of church and state in that regard. And let me say this much. There is no fucking way in hell this lady should have been released on her own recognizance. Because if I know anything about ugly pantless dog shit collectors, it’s that you don’t want them roaming free in society. Not even in New Hampshire.
17 Year Old Japanses Girl Pitches in a Pro Game
MLB.com - Eri Yoshida, a 17-year-old with a wicked sidearm knuckleball, took her 5-foot, 114-pound frame to the mound to become Japan's first female professional pitcher... The result? Not too bad. Yoshida walked the first batter on four straight pitches, then gave up a stolen base, but struck out the next batter swinging before being taken out... "I wasn't thinking about anything other than just going out there and giving it my all," Yoshida, who emulates Red Sox knuckleballer Tim Wakefield, was quoted as saying by AP.
If you know me, you know that my whole life is focused on the pursuit of equality. Well, drunkness, celebrity nudity and equality, in that order. One of the things I love most about sports is that they give everyone the opportunity to be whatever they choose, from a 7 foot tall Chinese center to a half Black golfer to a Navajo leadoff hitter to whatever Johnny Damon is. Sports are the great equalizer. That said, I'm not ready for Eri Yoshida. I'm not saying I could never accept a woman in men's sports. I can definitely see the day when we'd have a female field goal kicker, say. Or a woman golfer doing better on the men's tour than Annika Sorrenstam. My town high school hockey team won the state championship with a girl in net. And a knuckleballer is not out of the realm. But not this chick. Making it in pro baseball is tough enough without having to face the indignity of being struck out by a 17 year old girl. I can't imagine what life will be like for this poor bastard after being rung up by some anime-watching Shibuya girl with a plaid skirt and a Hello Kitty backpack. I'd be shocked if this guy doesn't commit Hari Kari before the first pitch tonight.
Reader Email - Rate This License Plate
Reader Email
Me and my friends from Plymouth State University were on spring break at ASU and we saw this guys license plate driving that says ILUVVAG... we snapped a pic, check it out.
Nick
Listen "I Luv Vag" as much as the next guy. But it's my experience that this is a slogan you probably don't want to put on your license plate or wear tshirts with . Bitches are prudes like that. You got to wine and dine em first before you start hinting that you want to stick you dick in their vag. Yes, even on spring break. Buy them a drink, get them shitfaced before you start getting all sappy with the I heart vag stuff. It’s "vag" courtship 101. So having said that I gave this license plate a 3.
Reader Email – Should We Give This Chick A Shot At The Stool?
Reader Email
Well hello,
You feature smoking hot girls every addition, but what about a good looking girl with an opinion? - A real opinion. I've always been every guy's wing woman, and every girl's go-to friend for blatantly honest advice (sometimes well received, sometimes not) - I think it'd be interesting and amusing (not to mention, potentially helpful to some of your slightly lady-clueless male readers)to get some of your stories from a girl's perspective.
A friend of mine and I were just tossing around an idea today about how amazing some of the things guys say to women on a first date are. She recently went on a date with a guy 5 years older than her who told her over dinner that "she was a baby, and babies couldn't have sex." He ended the date with, "so can I come in?" -- REALLY?
Regardless, I could review , I could rant, I could just cover some typical female myths in general. (Which reminds me -- we can play sports, chug beer, watch porn and name all the members of the Boston Bruins -- and we take home DUDES from bars too!)
You could put me in lingerie and stick me in a centerfold -Whatever - Honestly, I just think it's a common misconception that women can't be smart (clever) and sexy at the same time - Why not feature a young professional as well as a bartender? Just because we're in the working world doesn't mean we don't party to the point of black out mistakes.
Come September, I'm going to be wasting another two years of my life at grad school. I just want to have a little fun before then. Seems like Barstool might be a good place for me.
Bottom line, what I'm looking for is just to toss around some ideas. Couldn't hurt, right? Everyone's a little messed up in their own ways from sex, to dating, or just plain social awkwardness. I think maybe I could add something to the dynamic.
Thanks for getting back to me, and I hope to hear from you
Catyn
Okay as far as the paper goes we already have the immortal Kati Cawley doing From Her Perspective so we're all set there. But a dream of mine since I started Barstool Sports has always been to find a young chick blogger who fits in at the Stool. A girl who is funny, hot and willing to fuck on command. However, I’ve come to believe that this is a pipe dream. That no such girl like this exists in the world. But having said that I kind of liked Catyn’s introductory email here. Now I’m still not convinced a chick blogger could every really work for us, but I guess only time will tell. So what do people think? Should we give her a chance? Feel free to put anything you want her to talk about in the comment section.
PS - Test #1 will be seeing if she freaks the fuck out when she reads the comment section and realizes what she got herself into.
Hippies Crying About Dead Trees
I know everybody is going to make fun of these crazy hippies, but I kind of feel their pain. Because this is exactly what I was doing when Obama bumped American Idol on Tuesday Night.
Reader Email– Would you Want your Daughter To Play For “Green Death” in the Girls Under 8 League in Scituate?
Reader Email
Check this out. It's an email we just got from Jessica's soccer coach. Never met the guy but it's created a big uproar in the Scituate Rec Program. Sounds like he'll be banned from coaching after the emergency Rec Dept. meeting that's scheduled for tonight. It's actually pretty funny..................but probably something you shouldn't send to the parents of 7year old girls you've never met before.....
Coaches Email
Congratulations on being selected for Team 7 (forest green shirts) of the Scituate Soccer Club! My name is Michael and I have been fortunate enough to be selected to coach what I know will be a wonderful group of young ladies. Chris Mac will also be coaching and I expect the ever popular Terry to return to the sidelines. Our first game will be Saturday April 4 at 10:00AM. There will be a half hour of skills followed by a 1 hour game, so total time will be 1.5 hours. All games will be played on the fields in the front of the High School. Each player will be required to wear shin guards and cleats are recommended but not required. A ball will be provided to each player at the first meeting, and each player should bring the ball to games and practices. There is no set practice time allotted for the U8 teams, but I will convene with the coaches to determine the best time and place. If there are cancellations due to rain, all notices will be posted via the Scituate Soccer Club website, no calls will be made (though I will try to send an email). Attached is the Schedule and Code of Conduct. After listening to the head of the referees drone on for about 30 minutes on the dangers of jewelry (time which I will never get back), no player will be allowed to play with pierced ears, hairclips, etc. We used to tape the earings, but that practice is no longer acceptable. Please let me know if your child has any health issues that I need to be aware of. My home phone is 781 XXX XXXX, my cell number is 781 XXX XXXX, and I check my email frequently. According to my wife, my emails get too wordy, so for those of you read too slowly, are easily offended, or are too busy, you can stop here. For the others……
OK, here’s the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge “Team 7” for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don’t need to talk to me. Coach MacDonald has been designated “good guy” this year.
Some say soccer at this age is about fun and I completely agree. However, I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the “W” in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines. America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don’t animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn’t grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners.
These are my views and not necessarily the views of the league (but they should be). I recognize that my school of thought may be an ideological shift from conventional norms. But it is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.
Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?
Go Green Death!
Ok so here is the question. If you have a 7 year old daughter would you want her to play for Green Death? For me this is an absolute no brainer. Of course I would. I mean how could you not jump at the chance for your kid to become a part of the long and storied history of this Green Death? Because make no mistake about it. This isn't just girls under 8 youth soccer we're talking about here. This is about teaching life lessons. This is about building character. This is about family. And most importantly this about winning. And nobody wins more often than Green Death. Just a bunch of journeyman 7 year old girls who have bounced around the league coming together to build a dynasty. It's beautiful to watch really. And if the yuppies in Scituate Rec Program don't like it then find a team that can beat them on the field and prove this guys methods are wrong. But until then shut up. Because winning is fun. Losing is for losers.
Time to vote...Vote 1 for you'd ask for the coach to get fired if your daughter got picked for Green Death and 10 for you'd make your daughter wear only green for the entire season everywhere she went
I might have to ctl c, ctl v this one, print it out and read it on the shitter.
"...but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding"
hahaha jesus christ. CHAAAAARGE!!!!
My wife is currently prego...
I would pay good money form my kid (I won't know for a while) to play for a guy like this.
This guy has the right idea, he is as American as the A-Bomb or Apple Pie.
GO GREEN DEATH!!!!!!
Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy.
this is fake, right?
can any parents on here attest that Green Death is a real squad? kids soccer = two massive color blobs following the ball.
"My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people."
This guy and Rasheed Wallace should hang out.
My oldest is 7, and I've raised her to be tough. In this bumper bowling, playing-to-a-tie world she's growing up in, any child with an iota of strength and independence will be running the world in 40 years. Shit yeah I'd want her on Green Death. I might see if I can get them to add an extra shirt to the order for me.
"Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don’t animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn’t grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners"
Kind of went off the rails there, pal.
Green Death, huh?.....that is what Teddy Ballgame would use to refer to the killer weed he used to get in the 40's. I tell ya, we would smoke that shit until we couldn't think anymore. Man, those were the days
That is hilarious and I would absolutely want my daughter (if I had one) to play for the GREEN DEATH. This guy is the fucking man and the fact that he just sent this to every parent is even funnier... and ballsy
I love the smell of green death in the morning...
I love this guy. After he gets fired from Scituate tell him he can be my assistant Special Olympic floor hckey coach.
this is obviously written tongue in cheek
"It's not worth winning if you can't win big!"
This guy should run for Governor.
Holy Shit! My daughter is only 3 but do they need a water girl or blood swaber or gurney girl????
This guy has it right. Im tired of this bullshit apathy were developing in America where winning is looked down upon and everyone gets a fair shake. It started with Obama and god be damned if its gonna affect under 8 girls soccer!
Green Death till the Death!
2nd place is 1st loser
Honestly, do any of us care who wins when it comes to female athletics?
sportscenter just showed the minor leauge bruins goalie flipping out as their number one play on the top 10. looks like the stool finally beat someone to a story.
prediction, Green Death loses in upset to Pink Unicorns in first round of Scituate rec playoffs
K-balls....I do ...only when it's my girl playing.
EP don't Mortal Lock Green Death, that would ruin everything.
Obama's Era of Responsibility has begun, bitches. I was with this guy until the diet part-- then it just seemed like a joke. But I might let my daughter play for him, except that this guy seems like the type who, upon finding out a ref had a thing for kids, would demand his players flash their little hoo-hahs at him to get better calls. In fact, he'd probably do some little fondling himself, you know, for the character-building.
The irony is hes being all Mr Tough Guy for U8 GIRLS SOCCER!!
regardless I smell a Green Death t-shirt for barstool.
This guy is a lunatic. Who coaches U8 Soccer and doesnt have a daughter on the team or at least in the league? I assume he doesnt.
I am 28 and up until i was about 12 or 13 every coach had a son or daughter on the team or in the league.
Fuckin psycho.
yelling at the refs isn't necessary... No one needs to be embarassed... Discussing things with the refs is encouraged.
I like all the single no kid guys who responded that they want this guy as a coach. Go to some of these games and see how out of place this guy would be.
EP, time to make a t-shirt that might sell:
Go Green Death!
My brother lives in Scituate, and I would love to wear this around town.
If I remember correctly, having lived there during my impressionable years, RI goes ape shit over soccer all 3 seasons.
Would I let me 7 yr old daughter play for a fucking creeeep?
No, I dont think I would
EP don't Mortal Lock Green Death, that would ruin everything.
— bradymancrush, Mar 27 2009, 12:05 pm
He's pretty much said goodbye to having a daughter to play for them.....hope the first lady enjoys a life of 4 little degenerate gambling, smut peddling, high school heroes running around
Sign me up for the Green Death T...lets get these things printed!
Agree this is tongue-in-cheek and overkill to a degree, but the guy actually makes some pretty good points. The pussification of America continues and I like that this guy is drawing a line in the sand and refusing to be a part of it.
— bradymancrush, Mar 27 2009, 12:03 pm
Really? Or do you just pretend to care because it's your little girl?
Never been more proud to be from Scituate...Just bought Green Death season tix off Higs
Bullshit. No way the coach mailed that out. Pres been had.
Wow, this is first/second grade. Christ this guy is a winner. He has to be joking i would think.
Lates brings up a good point- apparently theres is a Scituate RI.
I think everyone assumed it was MA.
if true, which i doubt, this guy is a sick fuck
The coach is probably a well known jokester and the submitter failed to let the Pres know that. Just a silly goose this guy is.
My daughter is four months old, and she wants to play for Green Death. Gimme an infant-sized Green Death t-shirt. And a Barstool cap.
"I was with this guy until the diet part-- then it just seemed like a joke"....that's what led you to believe this was a joke!? The whole thing was done in fun and should be taken as such. Anyone who thinks this guy was even a little serious needs to have their head examined. It is/was hysterical and Overreaction America is in full force and effect
Coach Ditka?
— martyrush, Mar 27 2009, 12:29 pm
I agree with you but there are people out there, like the two stories below that make you think anything is possible. That woman had sex with 2 dogs...two dogs dude.
marty, I also think it was a joke, but it takes a special kind of crazy to write that epic email as a joke to the parents of 7yr old girls you never met.
Shit, I don't think I even have that kind of time to kill.
I know the coach and author of the email.
It was written in attempt to get people to not take themselves and youth sports so seriously.
You play with confidence and to win. And at the final whistle you have a winner and a loser. Game over. Play hard and compete hard.
People need to get a grip and get a sense of humor.
So Chaz is the Scituate MA or R.I.?
Dude has a 781 phone number, gotta be MA not RI. Fuckin amateurs!
— Chaz Felton, Mar 27 2009, 12:34 pm
Key word is that you know the coach and author of the email.
For those who do not this guy appears to be out of his mind whether he is kidding or not. Again the story below is a TRUE story of a woman who let two dogs have at her...is it so ridiculous to believe that there is a lunatic soccer coach out there? Or do you know the 2 dogs and that was just an attempt to have people not take fucking dogs too seriously?
Good call Coco, that's some detective shit
I coached little league for 11 years and I coached exactly like this. They called me the Lou Pinella of little league because I actually was thrown out of games for fighting with umpires. BUT, I had 6 kids on my team since the age of 5 and their parents loved the way I coached. We also had winning seasons each year and capped our last year with the state championship and a trip to the World Series where we got our asses kicked by Albany NY. Theres nothing wrong with coaching hard if you do it right. Like Ricky Bobby said, If your not first your last!
I love this guy, I really do.
Fuck everyone.
"The whole thing was done in fun and should be taken as such"
Remember, this can also apply to COMMENTS!!!! You know, like pretending the DIET is what put it over the top. Christ...
You are a complete tard if you think this e-mail is legit.
Isn't the Stool always looking for new writers?
El Presidente SIGN THE COACH OF GREEN DEATH UP!
We could have weekly updates of whats going on in Scituate!
"So Chaz is the Scituate MA or R.I.?"
— ndi24, Mar 27 2009, 12:37 pm
It's Mass. I just heard from one of the mothers down there.
Anytime I hear "Green Death" all I can think of is Ballantine Ale.
This guy is awesome. Every coach should be like this.
Green Death, Producing muscular psyco-pathic lesbians since 2009!
Lighten up people! When did we all become so politically correct and unable to see the humor in things? This is obviously meant in jest. I would love it if all of my kids could have a coach with this sense of fun and love of the game. What a refreshing approach.
I like his attitude about sports, but I'm not sure that it translates well to 7 year old girls.
It sounds like he has been coaching this team for quite some time, so I have to ask the question........why would anyone coach a 7 year old girls soccer team, unless their daughter was on the team?
With his win at all costs attitude, perhaps he should consider coaching(heaven forbid)teen age boys.
If you think this is anything but tongue in cheek then you're a schmuck.
And, for those of you who said the guy was a "sick F@#$", I say you're a "skirt wearing pansy who likes to eat paste". Get over yourself.
This guy is a jerk off and you are a bunch of jerk offs for even agreeing with him.
He coaches 8 year old girls soccer, that by definition makes him a loser. 2nd place trophies are for losers, but guess what Pele 1st place trophies for being the soccer coach of 8 year old girls = World Cup of being a loser.
Scituate is full of pussies.
"Dad? Who's Michael Vick?"
only reason I wouldn't want him coaching my team is he doesn't know shit about soccer... Shifts and battling in the corners is for hockey not soccer, I'm surprised he didn't say something about working the count and practicing free throws as well
Anytime I hear "Green Death" all I can think of is Ballantine Ale.
— coop67, Mar 27 2009, 12:59 pm
You mean Heffenreffer.
Letter's a joke. 7-8 year olds learn the love of the game. 9-10 year olds work on the fundamentals. 11+? GreenDeath treatment to prepare for life.
"...only reason I wouldn't want him coaching my team is he doesn't know shit about soccer..."
That's excatley why I WOULD want him to coach the kids lawn-dancing... I mean soccer.
He should be a life coach not a little girls soccer coach.
This man is brilliant i work at a school and let me tell you we have a generation of pussies growing up thats have no athletic ability so yeah i would def make my kid be on his team
america is going soft as shit. '300' should be required viewing for every 3rd grader.
CUE THE "GREEN DEATH" SHIRTS BITCHES!!!!!
The only thing missing from this letter is a note at the end saying.
If you are the least bit offended by these ramblings you should read it again and pretend you have a sense of humor. If after reading it again you are still offended - good.
If you are a sweat-xedo wearing cafe late drinking devote of reality shows and you don't have the ability to laugh at yourself I'll be glad to do it for you.
GO GREEN DEATH!!!!
The letter is hilarious! If a parent didn't "get it" then why didn't they pick up the phone to ask if he was kidding and get a sense of his intentions? It wouldn't take long to realize he is, as he has been described, "one of the funniest people you will ever meet". Have we lost our ability to communicate?!!! Shame on the parents who began forwarding and posting the email to the masses. I hope you will also post his eloquent resignation letter. I appreciate this coach's enthusiasm (not to mention his sense of humor) - he can coach my daughters anytime!
Do people really have nothing better to worry about than this email that went to a group of adults? I am a parent of very athletic teenage children that were fortunate enough to start youth sports with coaches that had the same desire this coach, unfortunately for Scituate, had. This email was written to humor parents- maybe he should be a bit more careful in his wording, but as mature adults maybe the coach should have been called by the family he may have insulted ( prob b/c you have a LL BEAN CHAIR & socialize the entire hour)I bet a phone call would have eliminated a huge mess for this poor dad that was trying to make the best of youth sports.... As a parent of children in a surrounding town, thanks, it works better for us if Scituate chooses not to allow coaches with winning as their goal....
Post Your Comments
Login to post your comments.
If you're not registered on the message board already, you can register here.
Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
Sweden - A teacher in Kungsbacka in western Sweden has been indicted on charges of sexual harassment after allegedly sending nude photos and trying to seduce a 16-year-old pupil. Evidence... includes photos of the woman in sexually provocative poses, which she allegedly sent to the boy's mobile phone, as well as logs of internet chat conversations between the teacher and her pupil, reports the Göteborgs Tidning (GT) newspaper... [T]he newspaper also publishes internet chat conversations that show the teacher asking the boy if he prefers "toilet sex or sofa sex". When asked by the boy whether she had ever experienced sex on asphalt, she replied in the affirmative but added that it was "damn hard on my back and knees".
We truly are becoming a Global Village. And it's heartwarming to sex-crazed teachers seducing their pupils become an international language. The Swedes give us socialism and the Bikini team and we give them sexting and Teacher Sex Scandals. They give us ABBA, we give them back "Mamma Mia." It's a beautiful thing, really. Though the oceans are wide and the mountains divide, it's a small world after all. One thing though. I'm all for the free exchange of naked cell phone pictures, and I don't want to come across as a xenophobe. But what exactly is this business of "toilet sex or sofa sex"? As much as I like to celebrate diversity, somehow I don't see teacher/student blumpkins making it big on this side of the pond. I'm guessing that particular part of the Scandanavian culture won't have any more impact in the US than the metric system, subcompact cars or Ingmar Bergman movies.
The Grades:
Looks: Incomplete. Though her ass looks like it if it were any bigger it'd have it's own post office.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: There's dirty chat room talk. There's naked sexting photos. Then there's dirty chat room talk and naked sexting photos in a country where the newpapers have no restrictions on publishing all of the above. If the Swedes keep this up, I'm afraid some debauched American teachers will be out a job. Grade: A.
Intangibles: It takes a special kind of horny to have sex in a Scandanavian parking lot. Grade: A.
Overall: Incomplete. Sorry, looks are everything. But we'll fill the grade in as soon as we get a face shot.
Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Or maybe one that's not so attractive but has sex with them in a funny way? Send it to jerry@barstoolsports.com
Does This Look Like the Face of a Woman Who Made Tapes of Herself Having Sex with Dogs and Watched Child Porn?
SARASOTA COUNTY, FL -- Sarasota County Deputies have arrested a woman who videotaped herself having sex with two dogs. Deputies say Caroline Willette videotaped herself having sex with two dogs and watching child pornography with a friend. The 53-year-old gave a CD with the images to an acquaintance, who turned it over to police. Willette is in Sarasota County Jail and is charged with three counts of possessing child porn. Willette admitted to detectives that she had sex with the animals in her home and watched young girls perform sex acts on the Internet.
Improbably, Caroline Willette found the one activity in the world that's actually more depraved than having sex with animals: Child porn. Kiddie porn is so reprehensible that even the most hardcore fan of sex with animals can point to it and say "Hey, at least I'm not as sick as those sonsofbitches! My sex was between consenting mamals..." I don't know for sure, but I'm fairly certain guys who are in jail for raping collies are higher on prison hierarchy than the kiddie porn guys. But what do you do with Caroline Willette? Here's a woman who's hit the Pervert Superfecta: Pedophilia, Porn, Orgies and Bestiality. I mean, what could be worse? Sex with puppies? Doing The Eiffel Tower with dogs under 21 (that's 3 in dog years)? Pulling a London Bridge with a dog and a cat? Reptiles? Birds? Amphibians? The mind reels at the possiblities. But I'm going to try not to let it destroy my faith in hideously ugly pedophile dog rapists from Florida.
This Bobcat Walks Into a Bar...
Arizona - A bobcat walks into a bar in Arizona. Really. But that's only the end of the story, KVRD radio says. It began, according to the Cottonwood police department, when a woman reported that she was attacked after apparently striking the bobcat with her car and getting out to investigate. Another motorist helped chase the cat away. A short time later, the bobcat showed up outside a Pizza Hut, acted "aggressive," according to an employee, then fled before police arrived, KVRD says. Finally, around 11:40 p.m., the bobcat entered the Chaparral Bar on Main Street. It forced many patrons up on their barstools and bit two of them. Police finally killed the animal in the parking lot, KVRD says, and tests confirmed it was rabid.
Thank God this story finally got to the part where the critter got killed in the parking lot. Prior to that, the whole thing sounded like the men of America's great Southwest had gone soft on us. "Striking the bobcat with her car and getting out to investigate"? The critter "acted 'aggressive'" outside a Pizza Hut? "It forced many patrons up on their barstools"? Is that how they roll now? Dancing on top of chairs like the mom in a cartoon getting spooked by a mouse? In the state that gave us bone fide tough guys like Cochise, Geronimo, Tedy Bruschi and Kerri Strug? Hell, John McCain is an Arizona man and he stared down the turnkeys at the Hanoi Hilton for five friggin' years. I don't know much about history, but I'm pretty sure Arizonans dug the Grand Canyon with just their bare hands. I once spent a couple of days in Zona on a trip across country, and the guys I met would've killed Bobcat Goldthwaithe just on general principle for "Police Academy 4." Or the Charlotte Bobcats just for being ugly. It's a sad day indeed that a glorified housecat made the once proud people of Arizona pee their pants like they were at some Dim Sum bar in Brookline instead of just getting the damned thing drunk, killing and eating it like God intended.
Wake Up with Ashton Von
UB has received a lot of requests for Ashton Von as well as "I Love Renee"... Turns out they were the same chick...Cue the Duckboats...
Check out the Internet model here...
Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com
scissoring swords, are you the coach?