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March 25, 2009

Random Thoughts


A Masterpiece!

 

Let me just say that when they said Adam Lambert was going unplugged I almost shot my load. I mean did the Pres do it again or did the Pres do it again? There wasn't a dry eye in the house after this one! Seriously how versatile is Adam Lambert? Viva La Stool!

PS - I would have put up a ranking system for this but what's the point? Our system only goes 1-10 and this was at least a 14.

— elpresidente, 11:34 pm | permalink | 54 comments


Happy Birthday, Katherine McPhee

Editors Note - Hey Everybody the website is fixed! Isn't it amazing how much your life sucks without the Stool to kill time? Per usual I have no fucking idea what happened. Just like you I just keep hitting refresh hoping it will come back. It finally did! Viva La Stool!

 

Katherine McPhee turns 25 today. If no one dimes me out, I should be able to post this little birthday tribute without violating the terms and conditions of my Sex Offender registration.

To see the rest of the tribute, click here...

— Jerry Thornton, 7:13 pm | permalink | 25 comments


Things Sound Grim for Steinbrenner

NY Times baseball blog - The glimpses of a no-longer-vibrant George Steinbrenner during spring training can be jolting to those of us who remember the Boss when he was full of energy and brio. In the old days, reporters struggled to keep up with Steinbrenner as he walked briskly around the complex, often in his trademark aviator sunglasses and white Yankees windbreaker. Now, Steinbrenner needs help to get around. About half an hour before the start of Tuesday night’s Yankees-Red Sox game at Steinbrenner Field, two Yankees employees prepared a wheelchair in the wide hallway across from the Yankees’ clubhouse. One couldn’t decide whether to put one cushion on the chair or two. “One,” the other said. “He likes one.” Several workers helped him into the chair, and they wheeled him to an elevator in the lobby, which whisked him up to a luxury suite on the first-base side.

When you read a story like this, it makes you realize what an extraordinarily long time Steinbrenner has owned the Yankees. Two generations have grown up not being able to imagine anyone but him running the team. I'll be honest; I've never had a bad day when Steinbrenner's team lost. And when he'd go all bellicose and start calling out his players, his coaches or his front office and blaming them for everything that went wrong with the club and starting another shitstorm of controversy, it was like a dose of Ecstacy for me. But make no mistake about it; I would've loved to have had him running the Sox. That management style doesn't work all the time. And in fact it probably backfires more than it helps. And no question he did some sleazy stuff in his time, like hiring a Private Eye to spy on Dave Winfield like he was some neck-tattooed, trailer park babydaddy on "Cheaters," a move that got King George kicked out of baseball for a couple of years. But no one ever accused the cantankerous old bastard of not trying to bring his customers championships. John Henry and Larry Lucchino can whine all they want about the unfairness of it all, but at least Steinbrenner puts the money back into his product. Unlike the Jacobses or so many other Major League owners who take luxury tax money from the Sox and Yankees, put in their pockets. say they can't compete, then field AAAA teams. Steinbrenner has always been the Hindenburg: a big, fat, combustible German gasbag. But I wouldn't have minded him being our big, fat, combustible German gasbag. And it's always sad when a guy like that loses his fastball.

— Jerry Thornton, 5:10 pm | permalink | 32 comments


Caption Contest

caption 

"That could be you some day little girl"

 

- Thanks to Tim for pic

— elpresidente, 3:19 pm | permalink | 40 comments


Japanese Invent Stink Free Undewear

stank

 

HOUSTON (Reuters) Teen-age boys, are you tired of embarrassing questions about when you last changed underwear? Japan's space scientists may have just the answer -- a line of odour-free underwear and casual clothing. "He can wear his trunks (underwear) more than a week," said Koji Yanagawa, an official with the Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency. Wakata's clothes, developed by researcher Yoshiko Taya, are designed to kill bacteria, absorb water, insulate the body and dry quickly. They also are flame-resistant and anti-static, not to mention comfortable and stylish. The Japanese space agency plans to make the clothes available to NASA and its other space station partners once development is complete. A commercial line also is in the offing.

Well I guess it was bound to happen.   The Japanese have finally gone too far with these crazy inventions.  I mean robotic women, ski lodge shitters and ringtones that makes chicks boobs grow is one thing.   But underwear that you don’t have to ever change?  No fucking thanks.  Listen the Japanese can talk until they’re blue in the face about how these things are stylish, but I’m calling bullshit on that one.  Plus I like changing my underwear everyday.  It helps keep the days from blending together.  Not to mention the fact that nothing gets the juices flowing like putting on a pair of big game boxer briefs when you think there is a chance you’re getting laid.    And what chick worth her salt would hook up with a dude who is wearing a pair of week old underwear.  I don’t care whether the shit stains are gone or not.  It just shows her you mean business when she sees you broke out the good stuff.  So sorry, but thanks but no thanks on the everlasting tighty whiteies.

— elpresidente, 2:44 pm | permalink | 40 comments


Providence B's Goalie Tuukka Rask Goes Nuts

 

Everybody has been sending me this video for the past 48-72 hours. I actually didn't think it was that great so I didn't post it , but maybe I'm wrong becasue people keep sending it to me. So here it goes. Rate this freak out by Tuukka Rask.

 

Vote 1 for I was right not to post it and 10 for this guy probably murdered the ref after the game and this was piss poor blogging by me not posting it on Monday.

— elpresidente, 1:47 pm | permalink | 38 comments


Kobe's Maid Sues -- Says She Was Raped...Oops I Mean Says It Was the Crappiest Job Ever

k

k

TMZ - Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their former housekeeper, who claims Vanessa was incredibly abusive -- even demanding that she put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve a tag from her blouse. Maria Jimenez claims Vanessa called her "lazy, slow, dumb, a f---ing liar, and f---ing sh-t." In the lawsuit filed in Superior Court in Orange County, Jimenez claims Vanessa accused her of stealing her (mouth) retainer. Jimenez says it got so bad -- Vanessa allegedly "badgered, harassed and humiliated Maria by yelling and screaming at Maria and criticizing her in front of Kobe, the Bryants' children, employees and other people in the household" -- she threatened to quit but Kobe talked her out of it. The final straw: When Vanessa went nuclear because Maria put an expensive blouse in the washer. Vanessa demanded that Maria put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve the price tag for the blouse. Maria says she wanted to quit and Vanessa responded that she "had to work until payday to pay for the $690 blouse, which she did." Maria is suing for wrongful discharge, invasion of privacy and emotional distress and unpaid wages.

See this is what happens when you work for an admitted rapist.    Shit starts rolling downhill.   I mean everyday when Vanessa wakes up she has to look herself in the mirror and come to grips with the fact that not only did she marry a rapist, but she is still with him.   So what does she do?  She takes out all her anger, all her frustration, all her broken dreams on the poor little maid.    It’s psychology 101 really.    As a side note I don’t blame Kobe for talking the maid into staying.  It’s hard to find a chick willing to get sexually and verbally violated these days.

— elpresidente, 1:28 pm | permalink | 28 comments


Guess That Ass

— elpresidente, 12:55 pm | permalink | 29 comments

She may be the reigning queen of short-jorts. Good stuff.

http://thejortreport.com/blog/images/hayden1/hayden_jorts_head.jpg

Eagle1, Mar 25 2009, 12:59 pm

also she was dating that milo guy for her show and they had to break up because she wanted to go out and party every night. that and the rumor that she was fucking the guy who plays her father on the show only bolster your hypothesis el pres.

makingeggsintheshower.com, Mar 25 2009, 12:59 pm

"Kind of a god given ability of sorts" -elpresidente, 12:55 pm

I thought I read, "Kind of a god given ability of sports". That would've been the greatest lie in the history of the internet.

bloody-stool, Mar 25 2009, 1:04 pm

Looks better from the front.

Schmidthead, Mar 25 2009, 1:04 pm

I see her the complete opposite way.....totally boring with no wild side whatsoever. Terrible kisser and a fish in the sack. Also always has to have a boyfriend...daddy issues are legit, her dad knocked out her mom last year, safe bet she has caught the back of his hand too. She is now dating that Stephen Colleti guy from the original laguna beach.

They need to get back into the shop and re-make the young blonde in a tight little body model...this one isn't cutting it. Too many years in the biz to not have one interesting story written about her.

J Live, Mar 25 2009, 1:05 pm

Those ass shots are not very flattering. What the hell happened to this chick?

ScissoringSwords, Mar 25 2009, 1:08 pm

she needs to start posing for playboy or come out with a porno

bruins32, Mar 25 2009, 1:09 pm

Her ass is there but she has that body that could go south quick. No way she could come back from having a kid.

http://img27.imageshack.us/my.php?image=1236135924haydenpanetti.jpg

Beantownluv, Mar 25 2009, 1:11 pm

Fuck the cheerleader, fuck the world.....

DW, Mar 25 2009, 1:13 pm

Jason Varitek

David Caruso in Jade, Mar 25 2009, 1:13 pm

EP your slut radar maybe be working well but if you don't get a tune-up on your gaydar pronto you may be making out with Adam Lambert inside of a month.

bradymancrush, Mar 25 2009, 1:14 pm

why does this avergare sloot try to look so old? isnt she like 19 or 20? agreed with beantown that she has big fat potential, she is too short

slapntickle, Mar 25 2009, 1:15 pm

She has a total gymnast body, and gymnasts are great in the sack. Horrible ass shot, but I definitely believe she's a freak

gregorypete, Mar 25 2009, 1:18 pm

agreed, nothing special other than her potential to fulfill the high school fantasy quota.

ShadyLady, Mar 25 2009, 1:22 pm

thekiiiiid
(in case you missed this below.)
honest to God check it out. Best site I have found for tickets for anything sports, concerts, etc. $415. is nuts. I already checked out B's tix on ticketjew and they are much more reasonable.

bradymancrush, Mar 25 2009, 1:23 pm

When I see her, I think of a levee that's just hanging on. Eventually it's going.

Guild, Mar 25 2009, 1:27 pm

i don't know what to say about this I just thought someone other than me should see it....

http://daveandthomas.net/blog/2009/03/23/ok-thats-a-reasonable-reaction/

bradymancrush, Mar 25 2009, 1:29 pm

She's got midget hands!!

delos17, Mar 25 2009, 1:40 pm

That was awesome. Almost as awesome as Patrick Roy's kid mauling the opposing goalie in a minor league game a year or two ago. Not to mention that, to cap it all off, he gave the entire crowd double middle fingers as he skated off. Truly classic.

justintuckrule, Mar 25 2009, 1:53 pm

hah oops i meant to type that on the hockey one sorry

justintuckrule, Mar 25 2009, 1:54 pm

She wouldn't even make it out of the first round of a smoke show bracket!

Kcrthn, Mar 25 2009, 2:01 pm

my honest guess was Jessica Simpson. ElPres this is like the 3rd time you have used this chick for guess that ass in the last 6 months and every time her ass looks like mine and you defend her anyway.
Of course i would slam the hell out of her, but thats not saying much. Basically this chicks ass is not hot. Wanna prove me wrong? Do a wake up with nothing but ass shots of this girl, then put it to a vote.

The White Larry Bird, Mar 25 2009, 2:25 pm

What a great body! Those thighs are GREAT!

BostonCreamPie, Mar 25 2009, 2:26 pm

shes in my top 15... maybe closing in on the 10

EJKGrimes, Mar 25 2009, 2:42 pm

Pushing Maximum Density

LarryJoeBird, Mar 25 2009, 2:42 pm

What a great body! Those thighs are GREAT!
— BostonCreamPie, Mar 25 2009, 2:26 pm

She has enough thigh for 4 strippers

delos17, Mar 25 2009, 2:49 pm

She is a freak in the sheets!

bruinsrule1211, Mar 25 2009, 9:57 pm

Why do you keep putting this fucking midget on guess that ass. Shes brutal.

topher371, Mar 26 2009, 9:39 am

give it up with this troll.

gabekapler, Mar 27 2009, 9:45 am

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Police: Dad jumped out window to avoid arrest for underage party

stink

 

Boston.com - A 48-year-old father of a teenager apparently jumped out of a first-floor window when police broke up an alleged underage drinking party last week at his home in Hudson.  After a short foot chase, police captured Tim Vinciullo in woods behind his home on Seneca Drive on Friday night in the Central Massachusetts town. He has been charged with delivering alcohol to minors. His wife, Kathy, was at the time the track coach at Hudson High School. She was not home at the time of the party and has resigned as coach, according to Captain David Stephens of the Hudson Police Department.  Investigators found at least five minors drinking alcohol inside and clear evidence that someone had fled the home without using a door.  "There were footprints outside the window and the window was up," Stephens said, adding, The three officers who had approached the Vinciullo home were part of a specialized "party patrol" funded by a state grant to combat underage drinking.

It’s a sad fucking day in America when a grown man has to jump out his own window to flee from the party patrol.    I mean if a guy wants to host a party for his son and a couple of his buddies then god bless him.   It’s better than them drinking unsupervised in the woods right?  But that’s not good enough for the Party Patrol is it?  Oh no, they have to come busting into his house like the KGB and chase him through the woods like a dog.    I’m telling you right now that if we don’t stand up to the Party Patrol the next thing you know it’s going to be me or you running for our lives.    That’s how it starts.  First they break up parties and then they throw you in concentration camps.  It’s Nazi 101 really.

— elpresidente, 12:00 pm | permalink | 27 comments


Tim Tebow's Lame Ass Speech Immortalized

promise

 

Gainsville.com - Knute Rockne's "Win one for the Gipper" speech may seem old and faded now, but it stands the test of time. Tim Tebow's inspirational speech apparently will go down in history as well. Florida recently put up a plaque outside the front entrance to the new football facility at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium with Tebow's speech inscribed on it. Tebow's speech, of course, was the emotional promise he made after the Gators were upset by Ole Miss last season. Fighting back tears, Tebow vowed no one would work harder than him and his teammates for the rest of the season. The quarterback and the Gators kept the promise, with UF running the table and winning the national championship. The speech has become famous — and you can see it, word for word, when you walk by the football facility.

This story makes me want to punch both Tim Tebow and Urban Meyer right in the balls.   I mean give me a break.  The dude is still in fucking college!  What’s next?  Retiring guys numbers after they have one big game?Listen I’m not even going to get into the fact that he gave this speech to the media and not his team because it doesn’t even matter.  The bottom line is you can’t try and force history down people’s throats.   Time will tell whether this speech deserves to be immortalized.  But you can’t do it 10 minutes after the season ended.  This is typical SEC Tebow/Meyer propaganda.   In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if these guys sneaky orchestrated this entire thing and had the speech scripted and ordered the plaque before it even happened.   Seriously I hope Florida goes 0-10 this year and somebody smashes Tebow’s face off the plaque.  Fuck Florida. If they want to put a speech on the wall why don't they put this one up there. This is way more entertaining than Tebow's...

 

— elpresidente, 11:29 am | permalink | 74 comments


Peyton Manning Sings Like A Fool With Kenny Chesney

 

 

I fucking love it.  Peyton Manning is such a fucking loser.  He sees Bill Belichick singing Dead or Alive with Bon Jovi and he’s like “ooh who can I sing with?”  Nice try dude.  This was gay as hell.   And how about untucking your fucking polo shirt for once in your life.   You’re in fucking Key West for god sakes.  Such a fucking loser.   Not surprising that he’d sing with that fraud Kenny Chesney either.    Congrats Peyton.   Keep being a loser while Tom Brady is balls deep in Gisele on like his 8th honeymoon this offseason. Do me a favor and cue the music!

— elpresidente, 10:38 am | permalink | 31 comments


Announcer's Drunken Dad Namaths a Sideline Reporter

Meet Herb Deshaies, father of Astros' announcer Jim Deshaies. Sideline reporter chicks everywhere, beware. While you're chasing down leads and practicing your non-regional dialects, creepy, drunken old men are working around the clock to figure out ways to get you to kiss them. And they're perfecting the art. Joe Namath telegraphs his punch and Suzy Kolber blocks it. So ol' Herb just leans in and sucker-kisses this chick. The evolution continues. Now they're even dressing like harmless old kooks to camoflage themselves and keep their prey off guard before they attack. Heidi Watney, if you see me in a red plaid shirt at Fenway this year, consider yourself warned.

— Jerry Thornton, 9:56 am | permalink | 15 comments


Wake Up With Lucy Liu

— elpresidente, 9:26 am | permalink | 43 comments