Random Thoughts
Barstool Local Smokeshow of The Day (Anastazia)
Introducing Anastazia from Boston. There are two types of hot in this world. There is just plain hot and then there is in your face hot. Anastazia is in your face hot. I mean just the type of chick you see walking down the street and you’re not even sure she’s real. But I guess when you’re born with a name like Anastazia it’s kind of already written in the stars that you’re going to bring the heat huh?
Do you know any smokeshows worthy of having creepy men everywhere ogle at?Send them to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com
"It" Seen Live on Chicago TV
Am I the only one who kind of feels bad for "It"? I mean I feel like I'm at the zoo or something watching a caged animal being forced to perform against it's will. Yeah I know this kid thinks he's funny but I don't think he understands that people are laughing at him not with him. Seriously where is the MSPCA when you need them?
The Women of the World Championships
We're deep into March, which can only mean one thing. It means we're in the throes of the biggest, most exciting, most anticipated, most talked about championship tournament in all of sports. All next weekend everyone you know will be riveted to the tourney and it's all your office will be talking about Monday morning. Of course I'm talking about the World Figure Skating Championships, which are being held in Los Angeles all this week. And since Barstool Sports has staked its claim as THE online resource for all things figure skating, there's no better place to offer a comprehensive preview of the event. If by "comprehensive" you mean "salaciously grading the hottest women of the competition like a pervert." Because say what you will about figure skating, but it has hands down the best looking female athletes of any sport. Girls who would be pin up calendar fodder if they played tennis or golf typically aren't fit to sharpen skate blades for the goddesses of the ISU. 
Since legendary two-time Olympic champion and Playboy model Katarina Witt is the standard by which all toe-pick smokeshows will forever be judged, here are this year's entrants and how they grade out on the Witt Scale:
Tanith Belbin
Event: Ice Dance (with Ben Agosto)
Country: USA
Celebrity Look-alike: "Pretty Woman" era Julia Roberts
Witt Scale: 9 Katarinas Click here to see the most comprehensive preview of the World Figure Skating Championships available anywhere...
Does This Look Like The Face Of An Aggressive Prostitute Accused of Beating Down A Door to offer sex for $10?
Gaston Gazzette - Aggressive prostitution apparently led to a first-degree burglary charge Thursday against a 26-year-old Lincolnton woman. Nicole Mary Scarpone of 122 Star Light Drive reportedly forced her way into an apartment on Pembroke Road, near Cox Road and I-85, and asked the three men inside to give her $10 in exchange for sex."Defendant stated that she was dropped off over there and had been there before and performed sexual acts, but stated that she was not invited over there tonight and indicated that she just showed up to make some quick money," Officer B.H. Carr wrote in his warrant affidavit. "Ms. Scarpone asked all the male subjects in the apartment if they had $10 for sex."When Scarpone knocked on the door she reportedly forced her way in and told the men that they owed her $100.
This is kind of bullshit huh? Seriously since when is being an aggressive salesperson/hooker a crime? I mean if everybody just sat around and waited for their phone to ring or for a car to pull up them on a street corner nobody would ever make a sale. In this economy you got to get out there and pound the pavement. If this lady was selling knives she’d be a hero right now. But noooo because she’s a prostitute she is somehow labeled as aggressive in a bad way. Listen prostitutes have to eat too you know. So if you want to arrest this chick for being disgusting looking then be my guest. You want to arrest her for charging 10 bucks a fuck when she is barely worth a nickel that’s cool too. But don’t arrest her for aggressively selling her pussy. It just goes against everything that this great country of ours stands for. So say whatever you want about this ugly bitch, but I respect the hell out of her. She was just following the prostitute code of ABLFD - Always Be Looking For Dick
Best Barstool Ever?
If I ever make enough money to actually have an office and "employees" you're out of your mind if you don't think these Stools with nut holders aren't going to be the first thing I buy for the office.. Mark it down. These bitches will be the official stools of The Stool.
- Thanks to Rick for the tip
Patriots Reload by Adding Three More Draft Picks
Reiss' Pieces - The NFL announced its compensatory draft picks today and the Patriots received three picks -- a third-rounder (No. 97 overall), a fifth-rounder (No. 170 overall) and a sixth-rounder (No. 207) overall. The Patriots were awarded the choices based on losing free agents Asante Samuel, Randall Gay and Donte' Stallworth following the 2007 season. Compensatory selections are picks that the NFL puts in after the standard 32 choices in each round. The Patriots' third-round pick was the highest of the 32 compensatory picks awarded by the NFL. New England now has six selections in the top 100... The Patriots now have a total of 11 picks in the seven-round draft. However, compensatory picks cannot be traded.
For the record, the NFL awards compensatory picks through an elaborate formula that includes salary, playing time, Pro Bowl appearances, awards, and whether you got screwed out of a 1st rounder as part of a ridiculous, politically-motivated witchhunt. Granted, the Pats secondary pretty much got Lance Armstronged last year and they could've used Samuel and Gay, but they obviously picked the opportune time to jettison Stallworth. Yeesh. And you have to love these picks just from a value sense, which is the Patriots drafting mantra. The Pats are heading into the draft with an arsenal of cheap, no-risk mid-round picks at a time when the entire NFL is downsizing and scaling back costs, including three 2nd-rounders. According to an item in the Cleveland Plain Dealer:
The latest NFL draft trend is to stockpile picks in the second round. Why?.. there's better value to be found in Round 2 than in Round 1. Players in Round 2 aren't that much less talented, but they come much cheaper.... the average amount of guaranteed money in the contracts of first-round players in 2008 was $11.9 million. The average guarantee in the second round was $1.9 million... So if there's a trend, you know the New England Patriots are at the forefront.
And as they point out, some of those recent 2nd rounders have yielded gold like Donnie Avery, Devin Hester, DeMeco Ryans, Maurice Jones-Drew and others, all at relatively little cost. Those Patriots 3rd, 5th & 6th rounders might not seem like much, but in this economy they're the equivalent of Microsoft opening a customer service office in Dehli; the cheap, competent workforce that will ensure the Pats keep dominating the industry.
Reader Email - Is Being Mentally Handicapped A Legit Excuse for These Seat Covers?
Reader Email
Prez,
Saw this in Providence about 3 weeks ago, not surprised. I walked by the car in disbelief about a block away from the Satin Doll which isn’t recommended because it’s a strip club that doesn’t allow nudity which really defeats the whole purpose of a strip club. It’s like going into a sub shop and being handed a Titleist 4 iron or something.
Anyway, I know this is lame but since you are a Yankees fan I thought you might find this interesting.
Jon
This was a really funny email right up until the part where you said I’m a Yankees fan. Umm, what website have you been reading for the past 5 years? At least the guy with the Yankees and Red Sox seat covers has an excuse since he’s mentally handicapped. I honestly don’t know what’s worse. You confusing me with Manzo or you thinking I’m a NY fan. Both are very insulting.
IT AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE. CELTICS POUND CLIPPERS: 90-77
Beating the clippers is like making-out with a 'Butter-face'd' girl at a keg party. Its nothing to be proud of, but after a couple of beers you'll certainly take the victory. It seems like every time the Celtics need a pick-me-up, the Clippers are there for them. After going through a rocky month, the Celtics had won 3 in a row and this game was the perfect spring board into a full-out win-streak.Let me break this game down for you.
The Clippers got destroyed last night because they are terrible. Asking why the Clippers are terrible is like asking why my fat-ass neighbor who eats at Burger King four times-a-day keeps getting heart attacks. First off, Donald Sterling is their owner. In addition to having some sort of curse over his teams, he also happens to be a complete idiot/douchebag. Not a good combination when owning a sports franchise. Their best player when he wants to be is Baron Davis. After Elton Brand bailed on the team, he decided he did not want to be the best player and decided to be a team cancer instead. To replace Brand they acquired Zach Randolph. Arguably the poster child of the Isiah Thomas Knicks. On the upside they have an aging Marcus Camby, a German Chris Kamen, and some decent young talent in Al Thornton and Eric Gordon. Not enough to save a ship that is not only sinking, but covered in napalm, burning baby seals as they swim by. Did I mentioned their coach is disgruntled?
With enough problems to cripple a small country, the Clippers needed little assistance to get the loss last night. Boston was happy to comply. Having KG back, the Celtic's intensity has been at an all-time high. They were not looking for a win, last night, they were looking for a dog-fight. The dog they were ready to fight turned out to be a drunken-racoon, so they mauled it to death anyway.
Thats four in a row for the Celtics, and "no one gives a sh*t" for the Clippers. As long as the Celitcs stay healthy, look for them to ride this win-streak straight into the playoffs.
Winnie Cooper Gets Married….Becky Slater Maid of Honor
Eonline - If you were a boy growing up in the late '80s or early '90s, odds are you had a crush on Danica McKellar. She played Winnie Cooper, the object of Fred Savage's obsession on " The Wonder Years." The nostalgia-fueled sitcom has been off the air since '93, but Ms. McKeller still has legions of fans. Today, 
most of them are heartbroken. Their fair Winnie is officially off the market. The maid of honor got some love as well. Danica's sister, Crystal McKellar, was in the wedding party. Crystal is best known for playing Kevin's ex-girlfriend turned archrival, Becky Slater. She memorably punched Kevin in the stomach after he broke up with her. According to E! Online, Mr. Savage (now a director of dubious talents) didn't attend the wedding, but his TV parents, Dan Lauria and Alley Mills, were there. No word on Josh Saviano, who played Kevin's best friend, Paul Pfeiffer.
So I turned 32 this past weekend. Yeah, I heard people whispering that I was getting old, blah, blah, blah. I even had a text message from a 21 year old former smokeshow that said “Happy 80th bitch.” But it didn’t get me down. I still felt young at heart. I still felt like I could mix it up with college kids and fit in. But then I read that Winnie Cooper got married and Becky Slater was the maid of honor. Now I’m depressed as shit. Seriously this is almost as bad as when I found out that chick from Full House had like 7 babies or Hoby from Baywatch was a crack addict. I mean I’m officially old as shit now aren’t I? I bet at our barstool parties when I overhear all the college chicks with hot asses gossiping about the creepy old guy who tried to talk to them, they’re talking about me. This sucks big time. I mean Winnie Cooper really got married? Just doesn’t seem right.
PS – Kevin Savage can cut the shit with his Mr. Big routine. How does he not show up at Winnie Cooper’s marriage? Total bullshit.
Cindy Being Cindy
Do it Cindy! Do it! Listen, I don't know what's going on in the crotchal region here, but I don't even care. When Cindy Crawford gets nasty count me in. She could be 102 years old and I'd still buy a ticket to watch her get all lathered up just out of respect.
PS - Before people start freaking out about me posting nudity this picture is from Allure Magazine. And you know what they say. If it's good enough for Allure, it's good enough for the Stool. Seriously I should start calling Barstool Sports artwork. I feel like you can get away with penetration as long as you make it artsy fartsy.
Does This Look Like the Face of a Pedophile School Librarian
DENVER -- A 31-year-old man who worked in the library of a Denver middle school was charged with having a sexual relationship with a student. Roberto Rodriguez worked as a para professional and was a girls soccer coach at Lake Middle School, said Lynn Kimbrough with the Denver District Attorney's Office. The charges alleged that Rodriguez began having a sexual relationship with a female student last December.
Of all the times we've done this feature, I don't ever recall seeing a guy who looked less like what he is. Of course, I can see the child rapist thing. If you were casting the part of a creepy pedophile for a movie, Rodriguez would get the part without an audition. But this is what passes for a school librarian now? So much for my lifetime of Skinemax movie-inspired glasses-and-hair-up-in-a-bun-but-when-she -takes-them-off-and-lets-the-hair-down-she's-a- sex-crazed-MILF fantasies. At minimum I assumed all male librarians were nebbishy guys in sweater vests like Mr. Giles on "Buffy." Not bug-eyed loonies who should be rattling a Dunkin' Donuts cup in your face at Park St. station. I mean, how did he get the job? "Well, in my last job I organized the "Cumpilations" section at Amazing Video, that's almost like the Dewey Decimal System..." This appears to be another case where late night soft core porn television has lied to me. (Thanks to Bobby G for the link)
Lance Armstrong Gets Exposed
Not so tough anymore dude huh? Where are all the bike riding fans now? Guy falls of his bicycle and quits the race? P-U-S-S-Y......P-U-S-S-Y..........P-U-S-S-Y.....Kind of makes me embarrassed to be an American.
"No I play real sports, because I dont want to be the best at 'exercising'."
He broke his collar bone.
Whats next, is he going to race Kyle Maynard to prove how awesome he is?
All the filthy hippies that ride around Boston delivering packages could be just as good as Lance if they took the steroids that he's taken in his career.
Riding a bike is a hobby.
Come on now, even cross-country runners crawl to the finish line, this guy is a giant whispering eye.
That's like saying, "GQ quarterback gets a little bump on his little knee and misses the whole NFL season....How tough are you now???P-U-S-S-Y, P-U-S-S-Y, P-U-S-S-Y, P-U-S-S-Y..."
Go sit on the trunk of your buddy's car and jump off at 30mph wearing nothing but skin tight lycra and see what happens to Mr. Tough Guy. Lucky if you only break your collar bone.
Pro cyclists are the last of the tough guys left in this world...like it or not.
I had worse crashes(head over handle bars) as a kid and never wore a helmet and I came back strong. WUSS!!
EP, back in the day we all used to do our paper routes via two wheelers. Give up the astro van, get back to basics and lose some pounds as well.
Pro cyclists are the last of the tough guys left in this world...like it or not.
— BradysGoneSoft, Mar 24 2009, 11:04 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5IpenH9WFw
you can close the book on that argument.
BradysGoneSoft, yeah you're right. Picking on pro cyclists as wimps is pretty misguided. Living their lives is like running 5-6 marathons a week for 20-weeks a year - yeah, that's a real wimp by fat American standards.
Those guys are off the charts tough guys - they must laugh at the term "Ironman" for tri-athletes’ Why else do they need to do all those drugs?
"Kind of makes me embarrassed to be an American."
— elpresidente, 10:52 am
Says Adam Lambert's biggest fan.
BradysGoneSoft, Mar 24 2009, 11:04 am
Back at it again, sigh...
QB obviously had somethig worse, playing football, which is a contact sport.
Biking, is if you fuck up, then there is contact.
Now obviously Lance couldn't finisht he race, but who the fuck would wear lycra and go on their buddies car adn jump off? That's 1, pretty gay, 2, pretty stupid. I'll leave it Johnny Knoxville and you.
Procyclist toughest, no, there are about 3 sports off hand I can think of that are real recognized sports where people are tougher.
Everytime you comment, you sound more "Otto" than the last.
Seriously, just stop, you never make any sesne, and that is coming from me.
— oreillyenforcer - I was the first to post that clip here!
I played hockey in Canada for 3 years so yeah I know what that's like!
Charra is big bike race fan . . . he even visits the Tdf every year.
Tyler Hamilton (from Marblehead, MA) fractured his collarbone in the 2003 Tour de France and continued riding to finish 4th and also fractured his shoulder in the 2002 Giro d'Italia and came in 2nd there. Lance is a pussy.
— oreillyenforcer, Mar 24 2009, 11:08 am
Did you watch the full video... that pussy never got up.
Lance Armstrong is one of, if not one of the best and 100% most dominant athletes in the world. Not the U.S. it is an international sport. Never tested positive, not once, although from 1999 to 2007 he was the No. 1 tested athlete in the world. These are all facts... not opinions.
Pro cyclists are the last of the tough guys left in this world...like it or not.
— BradysGoneSoft, Mar 24 2009, 11:04 am
Hell of a troll job there!
Suck it Trebek, Mar 24 2009, 11:13 am
Damn if that's true, that kid is a fucking champ.
— Suck it Trebek, Mar 24 2009, 11:13 am
And ground his teeth down to the bone, riding through the pain. Yes, that is tough....
But know something that Tyler did that Lance didn't? Take steroids, he later received a 2 year ban for testing postiive. True story. SO nice try Monsieur Trebek.
el pres, how can you call lance a pussy? its like telling me i'm a pussy because i fuck bitches for 14 days straight and then decide to take one night off when my herpes flares up. lance probably quit because he was about to get busted for taking drugs. the guy has been on something for 15 year winning every accolade the sport has. all the EPO probably had him a beat away from a heart attack when he won each of his tours.
I flipped over the handle bars of my Huffy when I was like 12 and broke my collar bone and the next day I was right back at it....
Guy had a frickin' broken collarbone fer christ sakes. Do you know how painful that mofo is? I do. Game over man.
this guy is a giant whispering eye.
— oreillyenforcer, Mar 24 2009, 11:02 am
Hahaha. Jingle Jangle
— J A apostrophe M I E, Mar 24 2009, 11:14 am
he tried to...you ever play a contact sport ja'mie? (isn't that a chicks name?) try going headfirst through a 6 foot sheet of glass and then getting up.
— Bruschimancrush you are a mental midget.
"QB obviously had somethig worse" - really? - Break your collar bone and you're not riding too far... tear a ligament and you're not playing too much either. One takes a6-7 months to heal from, the other a couple months.
"playing football, which is a contact sport." - Running into each other is contact, hitting a wall at 60mph isn't...O.K, go try it.
"Biking, is if you fuck up, then there is contact." - O.K. Eddy Merckx, there's no excaping a pile-up 5 feet in front of you at 30mph.
"Procyclist toughest, no, there are about 3 sports off hand I can think of that are real recognized sports where people are tougher."
"Real recognized sports" yeah, you know what you're talking about. Been in the Olympics forever, TdF over 100 years old, Madison Square Garden was built for bicycle racing, world championships, multi-million dollar team budgets for teams...
Like a hillbilly NASCAR fan saying F1 isn't a 'real recognized au-toe-moe-bel race'
BruschiButtbuddy - Seriously, just stop, you never make any sense, and that is coming from me.
— Suck it Trebek - Hamilton had a 'fracture' a crack that took multiple X-rays to find . . .Lance broke his in two...
contact made in biking, bike fuckign up and hitting an object ro other biker, not supposed to happen, be aware fo the road and this shithappens, it does not make you the toughest athlete in the least. idiot
im not here to debate how tough lance is or the sport of biking, i really just don't think they are the toughest, not even the top three. I admit it must be hard biking all the time, and avoiding crashes, but the toughest no.
my buddy broke his color bone, in elementary school and was out at it the next day. not saying this is the same but the injuries are different, and you tried to make them the same.
defensive aren't we?
— oreillyenforcer, Mar 24 2009, 11:22 am
First, dont ever disrespect Summer Heights High like that again by asking what J A ' MIE is... "wierd name I know, but you'll get used to it" If you havent watched it, you probably should.
Secondly, moving onto your contact sport question. Yes I have, and i don't discredit that the guy got rocked into the boards, and that hockey players are arguably some of the toughest american athelete, if not the most. But... look he didnt get off the ice.
You can be tough as nails, but if you had any idea how rediculous some of these non-doping cyclists are for doing what they do, day in and day out during the Tour it makes that hockey player laying on the ice look like the cabbage patch kid that he is.
Cycling as a "sport" does suck, but I bet he sells more T-Shirts than you Prez!
First of all let me start by....
"No I play real sports, because I dont want to be the best at 'exercising'."
— LittleLebowskiUA, Mar 24 2009, 10:59 am
BWAAAAAHAHAAHAHA!!! Nice Eastbound reference! Well done sir!
Next I'd like to say that professional cycling is about the gayest shit ever. You'd have to have a serious love of the cock/ ass pain to be into this shit. Why the hell else would bicycle seats be shaped like ergonomic ass cheek spreaders if it wasn't designed by gays/ for gays. Just sayin.
I flipped over the handle bars of my Huffy when I was like 12 and broke my collar bone and the next day I was right back at it....
— bradymancrush, Mar 24 2009, 11:18 am
hey, BMC, I did the same thing as noted above. wasnt Huffy like the poor man's Schwinn?? or did I mix that up?? I had the Huffy. We were poor. Think BMX was the envy about town for our off roading adventures.
I used to race bikes competitively until i put on 40 pounds senior year of college. I'm amazed that on a blog that seemingly would bash the shit of any cyclist there are actually some people that know what they are talking about. Until you've thrown up on yourself at 35 miles an hour, 100 miles in, trying to win a race you don't know what sport is.
Pro cyclists are the last of the tough guys left in this world...like it or not.
— BradysGoneSoft, Mar 24 2009, 11:04 am
Funniest post in the history of the internet.
"But know something that Tyler did that Lance didn't? Take steroids,"
You know something you've done that I haven't? Smoked crack.
St. John's X-Country team had a meet in France?
Have you ever broken your collar bone? If so you might understand why he isn't back on the bike today.
SamBgood....FYI... SJ's hoops won D1 State Championship
They should call those seats "Taint Toughners". For the athletic gay looking for a subtle way to strengthen that certain "tender spot"! BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bradysgonesoft is a cyclyst.
tough rankings:
cyclyst < cross country runner < tennis player < golfer
Guy falls of his bicycle and quits the race? P-U-S-S-Y......P-U-S-S-Y..........P-U-S-S-Y
Sounds like Tom Brady:
Guy gets hit by the defense and quits the season? P-U-S-S-Y......P-U-S-S-Y..........P-U-S-S-Y
2 points:
1: Yes, Tyler Hamilton broke his collarbone and finished the TdF. Yes, he was on PEDs, but I'm sure the pain was excruciating.
2: Armstrong is currently in training for the Tour. If he had broken his collarbone in the TdF, you can be damn sure that, if possible, he would've gone on. And, as has been said, when you're going 30+ mph, in a pack of riders, and somebody goes down, you're pretty much fucked.
— wierdbeard420, Mar 24 2009, 11:30 am
Hey buddy, you make no sense.
And 420 was cool when I was 10. Haha, we get it, you smoke pot.
— wierdbeard420, Mar 24 2009, 11:30 am
And had April (Katy Mixon) not shown her tits last episode, i'd like Eastbound & Down a little less knowing that you know what it is.
bike riding is tough on the lungs yes.however, if we reverse the theme how many bike riders get up from a ck into the boards and how many hockey guys get up from the bike fall?
tough rankings:
cyclyst < cross country runner < tennis player < golfer
— likethemapples
To find the tough rankings follow the drugs! These guys teach every other sport on what endurance drugs to use. Hell, they invent stuff years before their are tests for it.
X-counrty skiers, marathoners, any track, almost any olympic sport that takes more than 30 minutes... they've all learned from these guys.
someone has a man crush on Lance. I wouldn't finish racing either if I broke my collar bone, but that doesnt mean I couldn't. Cycling is a pussy sport that anyone can train to do...you can take anyone and turn them into an NHL or NFL player...put a cyclist in the rink and let him take a few hits and get in a few fights and see how he holds up...guarantee he'll miss that seat up his ass everyday
The only other sport where the athletes reach speeds as fast as they do cycling is skiing, and skiers use a lift to gain altitude whereas cyclists lift themselves.
I don't think anyone can really appreciate how strong those guys are until they've tried to ride a bike up a big hill themselves; that'll put things in perspective.
There should be a wake up with just that image of April's tits repeatedly.
— Enrico Palazzo, Mar 24 2009, 12:15 pm
agreed
the definition of toughness is the ability to battle through injuries. Note: Kevin McHale once played 2-3 months on a broken foot.
you can technically ride a bike with a busted collar-bone. You cannot play QB if you can only stand with crutches.
deez - "Cycling is a pussy sport that anyone can train to do..."
You're a bit wrong there. Genetically there are only handful of professional cyclist born on this planet.
Sure you could train enough to race; be created well enough to be semi-competitive... but to make it to the top .01% of professional bicycle racing the odds of one person winning the lottery, getting hit by lighting and surviving a shark attack would be better.
Skill sports can be learned... this is a one in a million freak-show of genetic marvels.
I think cycling deserves its due respect- these guys are obviously in top physical condition and to say what they are doing isn't a sport is just asinine. While I'm not about to go stand on the side of some mountain in France as these idiots pedal by with me screaming like an idiot, I will say I respect what they are doing.
I am not a huge cycling fan but I will say I have caught the espn clips of the TDF over the years and if you look at these guys from the start to the finish, you can see the toll these long ass races take on them. They start looking normal and finish looking like old, anorexic men. I vote tough guys.
Next I'd like to say that professional cycling is about the gayest shit ever. You'd have to have a serious love of the cock/ ass pain to be into this shit. Why the hell else would bicycle seats be shaped like ergonomic ass cheek spreaders if it wasn't designed by gays/ for gays. Just sayin.
— wierdbeard420, Mar 24 2009, 11:30 am
They should call those seats "Taint Toughners". For the athletic gay looking for a subtle way to strengthen that certain "tender spot"! BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
— wierdbeard420, Mar 24 2009, 11:40 am
— wierdbeard420, Mar 24 2009, 11:30 am
Hey buddy, you make no sense.
And 420 was cool when I was 10. Haha, we get it, you smoke pot.
— J A apostrophe M I E, Mar 24 2009, 11:52 am
How did this not make sense? Did the word "ergonomic" throw you off? Did you have to sound it out and get a dictionary to derive the meaning? Dude, have you ever sat on one of those seats? It's more painful and violating than getting your colon cleansed (for us hetero's)! Hope that clears it up for you. Also, I smoke pot but at least I don't smoke pole you barely literate spunk swiller. This sport is by the gays/ for the gays and that obviously includes you. Go back to drinking your "protein shakes"/ draining the used condoms from your 11 way last night....and mix in a douche for your lower intestinal track while your at it.
OUT-
So I guess that means Tom Brady and Kevin Garnett are pussies too right? You fags are such hypocrites, if Lance Armstrong was from Boston you would be sucking is other testicle as we speak.
Bruschimancrush, how can you call anyone gay with a name like that? Do you make your husband wear a bruschi jersey when he pounds you from behind?
Everyones got an opinion and regardless of yours, there are two points about the guy that should not be overlooked.
1. He's American and won the Tour de France 7 times in a row. The French hate him and most of us will agree that France can suck a croissant shaped dick. If you don't agree then you are probably currently sucking a croissant shaped dick. Kicking the worlds ass in everything and anything is what being American is about.
2. He's fucked an Olsen twin. I mean, I've got two nuts and not a dream of a shot at hitting that milestone. And by milestone I mean 57 pound walking stick with hair and a vagina.
Point being Lance = American
Quit? You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?
Prez im really disappointed with the stories tonight. First your shitting on that kid whos hillarious and now your shitting on lance for breaking his collar bone. Have you seen the pile up? It was like huge. Granted i dont believe riding bikes is really a sport doubt it i could finish a race with the best bike riders in the world with a broken collarbone. Wait a minute...you made up with it with that amazing smokeshow of the day.
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Guy With No Arms and Legs Going To Fight In MMA
MMA.com - Kyle Maynard, born with his arms at his elbows and his legs at his knees, will make his MMA debut on April 25 in Auburn, Alambama. The amateur fight will happen at "Auburn Fight Night" at the Auburn Covered Center. The 22-year-old Maynard in 2004 won the ESPN ESPY award Best Athlete With A Disability. Maynard was previously denied a license to fight MMA by the Georgia Athletic & Entertainment Commission.
Umm, can I ask a dumb question? Who is Kyle fighting? Listen I’m all for dudes with disabilities making their mark in the world. I really am. But how can this guy be an MMA fighter? I mean I’m not a tough guy, but I fucking guarantee you I’d beat Kyle into submission so fast it would make your head spin. I mean how can he defend himself against kicks to the face?That’s legal in MMA right? I’d just keep booting this dude in the grill mix until he was wearing my toes as his teeth. Again I’m all for this guy following his dream, but there is no way he should be allowed to fight in MMA unless it’s against 4 year old girls or other dudes with no limbs. Because once you step in that octagon you owe it to the sport to try and cripple whoever is in front of you regardless of how many limbs they may or may not have.
When I read the title I was expecting to see a picture of a tennis ball shoved into a condom, or something to that effect.