Random Thoughts

Introducing Carolina from Florida Atlantic via Worcester.  Now usually I bitch and moan when uber hot chicks leave MA to go to college.  But I guess when you look like Carolina and you grow up in Worcester it’s to be expected.  I mean if I were her I wouldn’t let Worcester hold me down either.    Her body deserves the warm weather, beaches and sunshine of Florida. Seriously look at the way she just fucking destroyed that white dress. That's profile belongs on South Beach not Worcester Beach.

Do you know any smokeshows who can own a dress like Carolina?  Send them our way to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com.   And remember ladies, you’re not officially hot until we crown your ass.  

Click for more of Carolina

CLICK FOR VIDEO

Bostonherald - The wealthy patriarch of a North Shore business dynasty faces criminal charges for hitting his own son with an SUV as security cameras captured the alleged attack on outrageous video obtained by the Herald. If convicted of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, Carl DeCotis, 68, of Salem - scheduled to go on trial April 7 in Malden District Court - faces up to 10 years in state prison. Anthony DeCotis, 34, of Lynn, who suffered chest and arm injuries when struck by the GMC Yukon Oct. 20 in the parking lot of the family’s Town Line Ten Pin bowling alley in Malden, said he doesn’t want his father behind bars. “This is not me vs. my father. This is my father vs. depression, and I’m caught in the middle of it,” The DeCotises’ enterprises have also included mobile home parks, the Malden club Rain Nightlife and a Saugus driving range. The suit alleges “Carl directed and instructed where Anthony would be every day and every night throughout his life,” and pressured him out of college and into manual labor because everything he’d ever need to know he’d learn from “Town Line University.”

Man I haven’t seen something this intense since the tractor scene in Footloose.   I mean I'm not really sure it’s fair to say that the dad ran over the son here.   This was more like an old fashioned game of chicken where nobody blinked.   Both the kid and the dad headed were heading straight towards each other in a classic showdown of male bravado.    It's not like the son couldn’t get out of the way.   He chose not to get out of the way. So the father almost had no choice but to mow him down. You kind of got to respect the hell out of both of them for it.   I guess you don't build a "North Shore Business Dynasty" consisting of driving ranges, nightclubs and mobile home parks by being a pussy. Although the move by the dad at the end when he went and stuck a 100 dollar bill in his son’s mouth Million Dollar Man style was a bit extreme.    But still I call this one a draw.

Ps - Is it in poor taste if I make “Town Line University” tshirts with a picture of an SUV running a dude over?    I bet those would sell like a motherfucker.  

Daily News - Jay Cutler wants out of Denver and the Jets have told the Broncos they want him if they decide to trade him. Multiple sources told the Daily News Sunday at the opening of the NFL meetings that Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum contacted the Broncos to let them know the Jets are very interested in trading for Cutler. But the Jets have yet to make a trade offer, and the Broncos have not said what they want, because Denver has not determined the Cutler situation is beyond repair. But this much is clear: The Jets are definitely in the Cutler Derby... Cutler is upset that McDaniels tried to deal him to Tampa Bay in a three-way deal that would have brought Matt Cassel from New England to Denver. He was further incensed when McDaniels didn't appease him in a face-to-face meeting after Cassel wound up being traded to Kansas City. The Jets will face strong competition from the Bucs and Bears if Cutler is available. Last summer, the Jets outbid the Bucs for Brett Favre.

Could this be real? Or am I only dreaming it? The Jets might get Jay Cutler? They might actually be getting the most divisive, self-centered, me-first asshat quarterback in the NFL to replace last years most divisive, self-centered, me-first asshat quarterback in the NFL. I'd think it possible, but it sounds too good to be true. Here I was, dreading next season. Pondering how much less fun the AFC East would be with the Jets stuck with an anonymous nobody like Kellen Clemens under center instead of a petulant, unity-destroying diva. Worried about how I was going to find ways to mock NY football press without an overrated, self-absorbed dickhead to stand at the center of their circle jerk. And now, at the depths of my despair Jay Cutler might come along to fill the void. It's a miracle. And as a bonus, Jets fans will get all ginked up about Cutler riding to their rescue just like they did with Brettfavre last year, only to find out the hard way that championships are won by real leaders who put their team first, not tempermental egomaniacs who get sand in their vaginas every time their name gets mentioned in a trade rumor.

Please, Tannebaum, make this deal happen. Look how well it worked out for you last year.

This was originally scheduled to be today's guess that ass but Amanda Bynes knocked Demi Moore off the front page. Anyway apparently Ashton Kutcher took a picture of Demi Moore's ass this weekend and then twittered it or something like that.    Here is what he said/twittered

watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!
9:43 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck
I'm not wearing the bikini she is that's what makes it so glorious
9:46 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck
shhh don't tell wifey http://twitpic.com/2bj58
10:11 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

Ok enough is enough.  What the fuck is going on with Twitter?   People just post what they’re doing every two seconds?  Is that it?  Who the fuck cares that you just landed at the airport or that you just made yourself a grilled cheese sandwich?    And even if people did care can’t you just update your facebook page and accomplish the same thing?  Or am I missing something magical with Twitter?    I mean should I be fucking twittering right now?  Do people want me to take camera phone pics of The First Lady’s ass and twitter them?   Do people want to know when I’m taking a shit or ordering a pizza?    Yeah I think it’s stupid as hell, but when you’re a media mogul like myself you got to give people what they want.   So if the Stoolies want me to twitter I’ll fucking twitter all over your asses so fast you won’t even know what happened.   First things first though.   Can somebody please explain what it is, why people like it and how it’s different from facebook.    I mean if I’m going to revolutionize the twitter game, I better fucking learn what it is first right?

PS - When is Ashton Kutcher going to dump Demi Moore? Dude we get it already. You married an older chick. You want a cookie or something? I mean isn't she like 50 now or something? Be a man and go out and get some young pussy already like God intended. Nothing worse in life than wasted talent.

I readily admit that I'm one of those guys who could give two shits less about the World Baseball Classic. At least that was until I saw this interview with Tommy Lasorda. Now I'm fucking jacked and pumped for it next time. And how could you not be after seeing the passion, the enthusiasm, the excitement that Tommy has for the WBC? It's fucking contagious. Seriously if this interview didn't give you goosebumps and make you proud to be an American then nothing will. I mean when Tommy opened his eyes for the first time at the 2:45 mark I literally got chills down my spine. Awesome!

REVERE, Mass. (myfoxboston) - The Lingerie Football League held tryouts for the New England Euphoria at the Teamworks Center in Revere on Friday. The team was looking for 12 women for the upcoming season. The game is played in pads and lingerie, 7-on-7 with full contact.  The league has ten teams in New England, Chicago, Miami, Atlanta, Tampa, Dallas, Denver, Los Angeles, San Diego and Seattle. New England's first game will be on September 18th in Atlanta.

Click for Video

Let me start by saying I want the lingerie football league to work.  I really do. I want the New England Euphoria to be the best team in the whole fucking league.  And by best I mean the sexiest.  I don’t give a shit whether they can run, throw, tackle or win 1 game all season.   They just better look good and be able to fuck like motherfuckers.    So having said that I got to say I’m very nervous after seeing the pictures of these tryouts and theaccompanying video.    I mean it looked like only 20 bitches showed up to this thing and half of them thought this was like real chick football tryouts or something.  (AKA ugly bitches showed up)  And what's up with the Euphoria staff? Seriously cut the shit with the drills already.    Nobody gives a shit about these girls 40 time or whether they even know what a football looks like.   Just have them show up with 2 sets of lingerie and if they can make your dick tingle then they make the squad.   This isn’t rocket science.   And if you can’t find 12 girls who can do that then close up shop and go somewhere else.  This ain’t Chicago, Miami or LA.  This is New England.   It’s championship or bust here baby.

PS - I did everybody a favor by scrolling through the zillion pictures on the myfox website to pick out the best chicks. So click here to see my rankings of the 6 girls worthy of wearing the colors of the New England Euphoria this season.

(Double PS - I wrote this over the weekend before the team was picked)

In what was likely the last "biggest game of the season" until the playoffs start, the Bruins effectively re-shook the ugly Etch-A-Sketch drawing that was their last month or so and wrote in the more visually pleasing "Northeast Division Champs" after their return-to-form 4-1 victory over the NJ Devils, the team that has been up their ass for the Wales' top seed. The win not only gave the Bs the division title, it gave them a five point cushion in the standings (a loss would've shrunk the lead to one game with Jersey still having a game in hand). But most importantly, the team reverted back to the simple recipe that brought them so much success in the first 3/4ths of the season: skating, hitting, shooting, getting in front of shots, going to the net, and top-notch goaltending (even if they took their foot off the pedal a bit in the 3rd while holding a three goal lead, getting outshot 17-3). They'll have five full days to savor their accomplishment as they're off until Saturday's tilt with the Leafs.

Click for rest of Rear Admiral's B's Blog

Click Here For the Answer

Miamiherald.com - William Cruz and Yanko Diaz first met and traded insults in a Latin Internet chat room. In real life, words turned to bullets. William ''Cubano35'' Cruz shot Yanko ''Latengoparada'' Diaz in May 2005 outside a Westchester Best Buy. Suspected motive: Cruz was jealous that he was left out of real-life gatherings of chat-room pals. Cruz, 42, now must serve 30 years in prison, a Miami-Dade judge ruled Friday. Diaz, 26, of Hialeah, whose Spanish screen name translates to a phrase indicating his sexual arousal, survived with bullet wounds to the right wrist and the left thumb and buttocks.''You never know who you are dealing with on the Internet. Clever screen names don't protect you,'' said Miami-dade prosecutor Suzanne Bell.  It started in a chat room called ''Cuba1,'' accessed through Latinchat.com.Chatters included ''El Habanero'' (Havana Man), ''La Gata Fiera'' (The Raging Cat) and ''Dura y Peligrosa'' (Tough and Dangerous). Through chatting, Diaz even met his girlfriend, Yosandra Piedra, ''La Villana'' (The Villain). Sometimes, the group met socially, sans Cruz. Diaz said: ``I believe this made him jealous and envious.''Cruz later claimed the chatters ganged up on him because they mistakingly believed he was mistreating a cyber girlfriend from Sweden.

See this is what worries me about the monster I've created with the Stool.   We got so many wackos in our comment section now that have dedicated their lives to hating on me that I never know when I’m going to push one of these crack pots over the edge.    I mean anybody whose sole existence in life is to correct my grammatical mistakes or let me know how much I suck makes me nervous.   So I say this to all the haters who constantly bash the Stool, but spend all day on it.   I’m sorry I’m funnier then you.  I’m sorry that I’m smarter then you.  I’m sorry that I know more about sports then you.  I'm sorry I don't acknowledge your existence. I’m sorry I drive an astrovan and you don’t.  But I’m begging you not to freak out and shoot me at Best Buy.   I’m sure you guys are all awesome in your own right and have very hot Swedish Cyber girlfriends that you treat like a queen.  So please don’t take out your frustrations and miserable lives on me.   Thanks a lot.  I really appreciate it.

Curt Schilling announced his retirement today on his blog 38 Pitches.  To be honest I kind of already thought he retired but I guess not.   Either way I didn’t read what he had to say because I’m pretty sure I already know how it went. Probably something like this;

“I played the game the right way.   I gave it my all every time I had the ball.   I'd kill for my team. I saw Manny attack the traveling Secretary and was like when is enough enough. Baseball is my life.   I feel blessed to have had such a great career.  I hope the only thing people remember about me is that I was a winner and that’s all I ever cared about.  Manny and I once gave each other the evil eye in the clubhouse. I was always about winning and playing this game hard and winning and doing things the right way and winning and not using steroids. And if the Red Sox want to put a stature of me and my bloody sock at the entrance to Fenway Park I have no problem with that. Did I mention that I hate CHB”

Listen I don’t question what Curt Schilling did for this franchise or how historic his bloody sock game performance was.   And yes he will undoubtedly always have a place in Red Sox lore.   But for some reason I just can’t love the guy.   Never have.   Never will.   Was he awesome in big games?   Absolutely.  Is he a Hall of Famer?  No doubt.   Do I want to go drinking with him and listen to him make my ears bleed for 9 hours talking about himself and how Shonda can't go in the sunshine?  No thanks.   In terms of where he ranks for my favorite Boston athletes he’s not even on the list.   I’m curious whether the Stoolies agree with me on this or not.   Vote for how much you like Curt Schilling…

Vote 1 for you hate him like Joba Chamberlain and 10 for he’s one of your favorite Boston athletes of all time.    I have him checking in at a solid 5.

Foxnews - Doctors are warning kids across the country to stop "smoking Smarties" -- a fad they say can lead to infections, chronic coughing, choking and even maggots feeding off sugary dust in your nose.Adolescents and teens have been crushing and inhaling candy, and then exhaling it, in an effort to look as though they’re smoking cigarettes, the Wall Street Journal reported Friday. Health experts fear the behavior may lead to harmful conditions. Some kids have already shown signs of developing a “smoker’s cough.” Oren Friedman, a Mayo Clinic nose specialist, cautioned that frequent use could lead to infections or even worse, albeit rare, conditions, such as maggots inside the nose. The problem is happening all over the country — and Smarties isn’t the only candy of concern, said Eric Ostrow, vice president of sales and marketing at Ce De Candy Inc., which manufactures Smarties in Union, N.J. “It can be done with anything made with sugar and compressed — Necco Wafers, Conversation Hearts, SweeTarts, Lik-M-Aid is already pulverized and so is Pixy Styx,” Ostrow told the Journal. “I don’t want to be complimented that we’re the number one choice.”

God damn this kid must pull some serious ass huh?  I mean nothing gets bitches wet like smoking smarties.  They eat that shit up.   I bet he’s giving chicks smartie facials like it’s going out of style.  And oh yeah, the “the man” can calm the fuck down with all these dumb ass warnings.  Smoking smarties may cause excessive coughing or maggots to eat the sugar in your nose?   Can’t you come up with something better than that?   I mean give me a fucking break.   Listen don’t hate the playa hate the game.   Peace out youtubers.

The Globe - Wrestling had been Paul Donahoe's life since he was 6 years old and pinned his first opponent in a mere six seconds. In high school, he was chosen Mr. Wrestler for the state of Michigan in 2004. In college, he was a two-time All-American and a national champion at the University of Nebraska. And then, in less time than it took him to pin an opponent, his life was tangled up in blue. Donahoe and teammate KennyJordan were dismissed from the Nebraska wrestling team last Aug. 12 after a campus blog posted pictures of them taken from a website that features photos and videos of naked male athletes for a gay audience. Nebraska, citing NCAA rules that prohibit the use of an athlete's image for commercial gain, also accused Donahoe of additional violations... "I didn't do anything illegal," he says. "I didn't hurt anyone. I don't think I did anything wrong. Who should I apologize to?"

I agree with virtually everyone that NCAA rules are complicated, confusing and sometimes downright contradictory. But Donohoe can quit the martyr act here. Rules arerules, even the often byzantine rules of the NCAA. If he wants to wrestle, fine. If he wants to get his picture taken rubbing his junk for a gay porn site, more power to him. But you can't do both. What his orientation is or how he chooses to get his jollies doesn't concern me in the least. This is about money. If some Tar Heels fan owns a car dealership, he can't hire Tyler Hansborough to appear in his ads because that would just be a phoney way to pay him to play. So by the same token, Donohoe and Jordan can't take money to bone each other on a gay porn site because how do we know the guy running the site isn't just some Nebraska fan interested in paying them to wrestle? For all we know, the owner of the site isn't the least bit interested in the art of man-on-man adult films, he's just a booster giving them cash through the backdoor, if you'll pardon the pun. That he's more interested in Cornhuskers than Cornholing. Donohoe might not like the rules, but they've got to apply to everyone. Still I have to confess to being a little surprised by this story. Who would ever imagine wrestlers could be gay?

NYDailyNews - A former Manhattan madam who supplied Eliot Spitzer with hookers also counted Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez as a customer - and found him so charming she dated him herself for free, former employees of the call-girl agency tell the Daily News. In an e-mail exchange provided to The News by a former booker for Davis' Wicked Models, Rodriguez purportedly told Davis on Nov. 17, 2006: "Thanks for setting me up with Samantha. She was gorgeous. But she is not you. When can I see you you are gorgeous . . ."

The exchange goes on:

Davis: "Hi Alex. You don't want to see me. I'm no fun. lol. Just because your (sic) so sweet, here are some pics of me and I appreciate the compliments. Your (sic) a doll. Thanks, Kristin"

Rodriguez: "You have been playing hard to get for a year now, your (sic) killing me."

Davis: "It's not playing I am hard to get. Maybe you should try harder."

Rodriguez: "Kristin, I definitely will and I love the pics. I put the one on my cell so I can look at you all the time. Alex."

Davis: "You are too sweet. I'll let you know when I get someone you like."

Listen I don’t give a shit that Arod banged another hooker.   We get it already.  The guy loves to fuck whores.    But the thing I don’t get is why does Arod picks such ugly bitches.   Because make no mistake about it.   This chick is fucking scary looking.   Don’t get me wrong I’d bang her, but I’m ugly and broke.   I mean by all accounts Arod is good looking and rich right?   At least as good looking as Derek Jeter.  But while Jeter fucks the likes of Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Vanessa Minnillo, Minka Kelly Arod nails Madonna, some chick from Saugus and this bitch.  I mean what gives?   Dude step up your game already.   Steroids and shitting the bed in the clutch is one thing, but this is just flat out embarrassing.

Finally some American ass this week. Miss Benz is a Pittsburgh gal who likes to flash her stuff while banging a serial killer on Showtime's "Dexter."

More of the Benz here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com