Unless you've been living in a cave you probably know that I was 9-3 in the first round.    Now while most people would give their dick for that type of performance I'm still not satisfied. Nothing but perfection is good enough for the Stool. So without further ado here are my surefire Saturday Mortal Locks. Anything less than 4-1 will be unacceptable.

Maryland vs. Memphis -10.5

If the tournament has proven anything so far is that’s the ACC is filled with soft, overrated pussy teams like BC who fold like a tent when the going gets tough.   So sure Memphis struggled in their opening round game but they’ll bounce back today with an emphatic victory vs. yet another spineless ACC team.

The Pick – Memphis

Michigan vs. Oklahoma – 6.5

Would I bet this game if I didn’t go to Michigan?   Probably not.   But the facts are I did go to school there so I have no choice.   Bottom-line is that it’s tough to blow out Michigan because they play so freaking slow.  They just mush the game.     As long as they shoot the 3 ball okay they should be in this to the end even though it may not feel like it.    It’s time for Michigan to finally re-establish themselves as the best athletic program in the country and a victory today would go a long way in getting there.

The Pick – Michigan

LSU vs North Carolina -11.5

If the tournament has proven anything so far is that’s the ACC is filled with soft, overrated pussy teams like BC who fold like a tent when the going gets tough.   North Carolina will win this game but LSU will stay within the number.

The Pick – LSU

Western Kentucky vs. Gonzaga -11

Gonzaga is laying 11?   Really?  That’s freaking nuts.   This is a coin flip game in my opinion.   In fact I’m almost nervous because this game seems to fucking easy.  Don’t think just throw….Don’t think just throw….

The Pick – Western Kentucky

Texas vs. Duke -7.5

If the tournament has proven anything so far is that’s the ACC is filled with soft, overrated pussy teams like BC who fold like a tent when the going gets tough.    And no team exemplifies this mentality more than Duke.    They will be in a fight for their lives tonight against Texas and it wouldn’t surprise me if the Longhorns outright them.  

The Pick - Texas