Random Thoughts

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As far as I'm concerned, prior to say, 10 AM, the only Phrase That Pays does have the word "fuck" in it.

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Well in the long and storied history of March Madness, only a handful of events have earned the right to be called "Classics". Duke/Kentucky 1992, UCLA/Princeton 1996, Vermont/Syracuse 2005, and the Lani Kai "Booty Shake" Contest from Fort Myers Beach, Florida 2006. Just tons of talent up and down the picnic table. A 16 can beat a 1, a 15 can beat a 2. There's so many hot asses shaking at once you have to watch it 35 times just to catch everything. Hey, that's why they it a "Classic". Also, check out the chick at the 2:29 mark. She's playing chess while the rest of the girls are playing checkers.

-thanks to mrgreenthumb for tip

Hurry Up Bitch And Get To The Place!....BC Tips at 7pm!

Nola.com - A teacher at a Marrero high school has been arrested after authorities say he was caught masturbating in a classroom by students and another teacher Wednesday. He was suspended without pay.  Lehrman is an English teacher at L.W. Higgins High School on Lapalco Boulevard, said Beth Branley, a spokeswoman for the Jefferson Parish public school district. According to an arrest report, three students and a substitute teacher saw Lehrman masturbating in his classroom Wednesday about 8 a.m.  When Lehrman was questioned by deputies, he admitted exposing himself, but said he was applying lotion because of a medical condition, according to a news release from the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office. He then admitted that he masturbated, according to the arrest report. Lehrman has no prior criminal record, according to authorities. Parent Roy Ashworth, who was waiting to pick up his son, said he might consider home schooling his teenager next year.

First of all the parents here can calm the fuck down.  A teacher gets busted for beating off and suddenly you want to home school your kid now?  That seems rational huh?   Anyway I kind of feel bad for this guy.   Because a little known fact about me is that I was an education major in college.  Yup I did a semester of student teaching at some high school in Michigan and there were so many chicks running around waving their asses in my grill mix that I almost had no choice but to beat off right in their face. Luckily I was able to wait until I got home, but just barely.   That’s when I decided education wasn’t for me and entered the world of smut peddling.  So long story short I feel this guy’s pain.  Sometimes you just got to let off a little steam.   If he could have only held out a little longer he would have been home free.   After all 8am is almost the end of the school day right?  Wait a minute! 8am! This dude was beating off at 8am? Dude,everybody knows you beat off when you wake up! That's just jack off 101 right there. Sorry, but no excuse for getting busted that early in the morning. No excuse whatsoever.

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(We will sort of be live blogging from The Place today. No promises on how much, but I'm bringing my laptop to keep all you miserable fucks stuck at work somewhat entertained)

So I was 6-1 yesterday.   Not surprisingly all the losers who base their entire lives around ripping me a new asshole when I miss a game were nowhere to be found.   Funny how that works huh?    Bottom line is I told everybody I was going to dominate this tournament and that’s exactly what I’m doing.    Nobody knows more about college hoops than me and once again I’m proving it.  The only disappointing thing was that we didn’t have a shitload of shirt orders yesterday.  Apparently people wanted me to go a perfect 7-0.     I guess I can’t blame them.  Anyway here are four more locked and loaded winners for today as I sit back and enjoy the festivities at The Place.

North Dakota State vs. Kansas -9.5

This is North Dakota State’s first time in the Big Dance.  I watched their conference championship game which they won like 23-21.    You better be able to score vs. the big boys and I don’t think these guys can.  Plus Kansas is an absolute team to watch in my brackets.  In fact, I have them going all the way to the Final Four for a rematch vs. Memphis.

The Pick – Kansas

Utah State Vs. Marquette – 5

I don’t care what you say about Marquette.  They suck without Dominque James.  Utah State is no fluke job.  Not only do they cover this game they outright the Golden Eagles.

The Pick – Utah State

BC vs. USC -2

As much as the Superfans probably don’t want to hear this I love them today.   It always amazes me that people fall into the same trap every year with conference tournament winners like USC.  Teams that sucked the entire regular season but then get hot for 3 games against teams that aren’t trying and suddenly everybody thinks they are great and will do well in the tournament.  It NEVER works that way.   Just ask Mississippi State who got their dick kicked in yesterday by Washington.    USC will revert back to the crappy team they were all season and BC should roll.

The Pick – Superfans

Cleveland State Vs. Wake Forest -7.5

Cleveland State has been a team I’ve been keep my eye on for the past month.   And even before the brackets came out I knew I was going to pick them no matter what.   Mark my words they are going to be the darling of this tournament.    There isn’t a doubt in my mind that they not only win this game but they get to at least the Sweet 16 and maybe even the Great 8.   This team has been very good all year.  They beat Syracuse at Syracuse.  They beat Butler at Butler for the conference championship and they should have beaten them the game before as well.   If you like money and betting games where the spread is never in doubt then this is the game for you.   It’s what we refer to here around the Stool as a “tshirt game”

The Pick – Cleveland State

Florida - Another South Bay physical education teacher was arrested on suspicion of having an inappropriate relationship with a student — the third in two weeks. Megan Sainsbury, 31, a teacher and former coach at Prospect High School in Saratoga, was arrested Wednesday on three misdemeanor counts of "annoying or molesting" a 17-year-old student, according to court documents.... They allegedly exchanged text messages of a romantic nature. Sainsbury bought the teen gifts, including a cell phone, to entice the girl to continue their relationship, a Santa Clara County sheriff's report contended.

She is the third female physical education teacher arrested in the past two weeks on suspicion of having an inappropriate relationship with female students... "You probably noticed that several teachers have been arrested on these types of charges lately,'' said Santa Clara County Supervising Deputy District Attorney Mike Fletcher, head of the sexual assault team. "But teachers are no more likely than doctors, lawyers or newspaper reporters to commit these crimes. Sex crimes affect a wide cross-section of demographics. I think it's just a fluke.''

OK, everybody. We can all drop the shock and surprise and dismay at this stunning turn of events. Megan Sainsbury is a Florida gym teacher. There's a greater chance she'll be going down on one of her students than there is that I'll get hammered at the Barstool March Madness party. Santa Clara County Supervising Deputy District Attorney Mike Fletcher (I'd like to see his business card) can take this "teachers are no more likely..." business and stick a sock in it. I've been studying Sex Scandal Teachers for far too long for him to convince me that teachers are no more likely than doctors, lawyers, jockeys, Jiffy Lube oil changers or smutty sports bloggers to diddle teenagers. OK, I'll concede Catholic priests.

The Grades:
Looks: Eesh. Ed Begley, Jr. Grade: D-.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: "Annoying or molesting" isn't going to get it done. Not in Florida. It just sounds too misdemeanory. That standard might work in Mass, but Megan is like a pretty good high school football player who moves down to FLA and finds she can't compete with the big dogs. Grade: D.
Intangibles: We're one more of these things away from having a big road sign that says "South Bay: Home of the Molesting Lesbian Phys Ed Teacher Welcomes You." Grade: C-.
Overall: D. (Thanks to mbreyer for the link)
Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Or maybe one that's maybe not so attractive but has sex with them in a funny way? Send it to jerry@barstoolsports.com

Awful. That's the one word that comes to mind after watching the Bruins' utter collapse at home to the LA Kings last night. Heading into the 3rd up 2-0 after goals from Matt Hunwick and Mark Recchi and 22 saves from Tim Thomas, the Bs just flat out shit the bed in the game's last 15 minutes and lost 3-2 in OT. If not for the point the NHL awards for reaching OT, this shitshow would be the worst loss of the season.
 
The wheels started falling off when Michal Handzus notched a power play goal halfway through the 3rd then the Kings knotted it when rookie stud defenseman Drew Doughty knocked home a loose puck in the goal mouth past a hung-out-to-dry Thomas. There's no real mystery why the (fading?) Wales leaders got upended by the young, talented, but likely-playoff-spectator Kings---they once again stopped skating and stopped hustling once they got what they perceive to be a comfortable lead. And the hungry team, which hasn't been too relevant since #99 left town, pounced on the soft and complacent home squad that's looking more and more like a recently-tranquilized grizzly than then growling beast seen in pre-game introductions.
 
Their once double digit lead in the conference is down to four points over the D.C. Caps (Caps have one game in hand). However, their Adams Division lead is still a nearly insurmountable 18 points so a top-three seed is a virtual guarantee (Bs/Habs in first round again, anyone? Certainly looking more like a possibility than a month ago). That said, nothing much they have done since the All-Star break has inspired any confidence in their fandom. Blown leads, lack of hustle, and lack of grit sum up their shitty showings for the last month or so. Heavy criticism for a still-in-first squad? Maybe so, but certainly warranted given their recent funk.
 
Well, they've got 10 more games to recapture the form that saw them go from 40 to 1 longshots to one of the favorites at 4 to 1. Did they go into a subconscious mental break, knowing they have home ice for at least the first two rounds? Are they trying to play it safe and stay healthy and rested for the real games that commence in mid-April? Or were they just playing out of their heads for the first half of the season, dickteasing their fans yet again, and setting the stage for another golf outing on the morning of the Kentucky Derby? We'll find out over the days and weeks ahead. But it certainly isn't going to get any easier. Next up is the Jersey Devils on a rare Sunday afternoon homer. The perennial contenders from swampland are 23-7 in their last 30 and have been next to unbeatable since the return of all-time win king Marty Brodeur, who could well end his career with over 700 victories. The Bs tend to play down to their competition. Conversely, the league's best often brings out the Bs' best. Sunday should offer a good barometer of just where the Bruins are with crunch time upon them.

- Blog by Rear Admiral
 

It's tough enough to beat Duke with two eyebrows nevermind a uni-brow like this. Clearly it was Binghamton's first appearance in the tourney. You got to clean that shit up bro.

A hot chick in Taiwan? What a waste. That's like a talented player being drafted by the Jets...Complete waste of everyone's time.

More of Panward here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com