Random Thoughts

Introducing Paloma from Boston via Westfield State.  There are very few smokeshows in the world where the second I see their pictures I drop everything I am doing and freak out.  Paloma is one of those smokeshows.  Even her name is no joke.     Seriously she belongs in Hollywood or something.   She has to be the best thing to come out of Westfield State in the history of the school right?  Anyway if you had any dignity you’d buy a tshirt from me today just for shedding some light in your miserable day with this smokeshow.

Do you know anybody half as hot as Paloma.  Send them our way to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click here for more pics of Paloma

Foxnews.com -- Passengers are angry about being forced to fly on a new Southwest Airlines plane featuring a bikini-clad model, saying it is "soft porn" and is offensive to families.  Israeli supermodel Bar Refaeli, currently dating actor Leonardo DiCaprio, is pictured lying seductively in a revealing white bikini along the length of the Boeing 737 as part of a promotional deal with Sports Illustrated.  The airline has received a flood of criticism on its corporate blog about the promotion, with many passengers complaining about having to board an aircraft “covered in pornography”.  “I would not want to have to watch this plane pull up to the gate traveling with my young child, or mother, grandmother, etc.,” customer Jim Dawson said.  “I know Southwest is known for its fun, laid back qualities but this is just completely inappropriate to plaster all over the side of the plane.”

Hey, this guy is right.  It’s a slippery slope.  One day it’s Bar Refaeli on the side of a plane in a bikini, next thing you know Jet Blue is going to have 2 gay dudes ass fucking on the wings.  Yeah, I know about competition and the free market system, but we can’t have that in our skies. I mean what is this, Barstool Airlines? "Board your flight today, you'll get there in 2-3 weeks" could be our slogan.  Plus, don’t you think the “Miracle on the Hudson” would’ve lost of some of its meaning if good ole “Sully” Sulinberger safely landed Bar Raefeli’s tits into the Hudson River?  Instead of a hero, Sulinberger would be remembered as the first commercial pilot to successfully execute a water landing with a hard-on. 

Oh my god! My favorite video in the history of the Internet is back! I'm obviously talking about Guido Beach! We posted this back in August and then it disappeared from the Internet only to return recently. It's like falling in love all over again.

Q - What's your biggest Pet Peeve?

A - "Biggest Pet Peeve?......I don't even know what the fuck that means."

I think you need to watch it at least 33 times before you can catch everything. It's just one gem after another. I love the guy who had a broken thigh, torn ACL, dislocated kneecap, took a couple pain killers, partied on one leg for a week and knocked down two threesomes in the process. It's liquid fucking gold bro.....

PS - Coopo wants to breed a huge kid.

Dan Shaughnessy today, starts with two poorly written paragraphs whining about how Red Sox Spring Training under Theo and Tito is smoothly run, and therefore boring. But showing the dogged persistence in pursuit of phoney controversy that has made him the Voice of Red Sox Fans to the national media, Dan takes a marginally newsworthy tidbit like JD Drew getting a cortisone shot, runs it through the Shank-o-matic and turns this particular molehill and turns it into the Rockies:

J.D. Drew is hurt. It might be a big deal or it might not, but in the Hub hardball news drought of 2009, it qualifies as headlines and gets eyeballs rolling. The Sox are downplaying Drew's condition.... Like toll hikes on the Mass. Pike, Drew's injury history is a well-worn subject that inspires sarcasm and anger from the citizenry. You know the drill. Nancy Drew. Audie Murphy Drew. Old Blood and Guts. More days off than a State House employee. Won't play hurt. Typical Scott Boras client. Drew makes for an easy target. But this sudden round trip raises legitimate questions about his health and readiness for the upcoming season - which raises questions about the offensive firepower of a Manny-less lineup with Mike Lowell recovering from surgery and Big Papi in decline. According to Francona, Drew flew to Boston Sunday and received the shot from Dr. Bill Palmer Monday. He flew back Monday night. Does that make any sense? A guy with a herniated disk flies three hours in the teeth of a snowstorm to get a shot that could be administered in the training room at City of Palms Park. Who does that? And we are supposed to believe this is no big deal?

Breaking news! JD Drew is getting treatment on his back! Scandal! Controversy! Intrigue! The unemployable lowlifes who call 'EEI will be up in arms! Whatever shall we do?!? There are so many questions swirling around the nature and the circumstances of this cortisone shot I don't know where to begin. So I'll start by doing a little research. And after doing some digging I discovered one important fact: That today is March 4th. The regular season doesn't start for a month. More importantly, it doesn't end for another 7 months. And that, pretty much, is the state of the Curly-Haired Boyfriend's "big deal."

Does everybody get it now? JD Drew gets hurt a lot. Just like everyone said when Theo signed him. He is who we thought he was. He's a 5-tool player with a swing as steady as a metronome and if his time in Boston is any indication... and it is... he'll rake in October. It's just that the price of poker on Drew is that he'll miss 10 days with a tight quad, two weeks with an oblique strain and 3 days with a bad haircut. That's just him We always hear how Boston is a blue collar town and we love lunch pail tough guys like us who'll play through having a bone sticking through their flesh. Well maybe Drew was just born to the the role model/hero of guys like me who are passionless, disinterested, lazy slobs who max out on our sick time by banging in with stuff like Carpal Tunnel syndrome. But if Shank and his ilk are trying to find controversy here, they've got to keep looking.

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(CBS/ AP)  A teenage girl shown being kicked and punched by a sheriff's deputy on a jail surveillance video called the experience "horrible" and told CBS' The Early Show the officer accused her of assault before he tackled her.  The footage shows the attack beginning after the girl enters the cell and kicks off one of her shoes toward the deputy.  The video, released Friday, is part of an assault case in which Deputy Paul Schene, 31, is accused of using excessive force on the girl, who was being held in a cell at the suburban SeaTac City Hall. Schene, who is charged with fourth-degree assault, pleaded not guilty on Thursday in Superior Court.  "It was horrible. My head hit the wall," Calhoun said, adding that the officer was "pulling my hair constantly."  The incident last November began after the girl was brought in for an auto theft investigation, according to court documents.  Schene told investigators through an e-mail conversation with his lawyer that once he was assaulted by the girl kicking her shoe at him, he entered the cell to "prevent another assault," according to court documents. Schene also said that the girl failed to comply with instructions in the holding area.

Yikes!  Umm yeah I’m pretty sure this is what people in the business call excessive force.   Maybe I could have let it slide if the cop didn’t resort to hair pulling, but that’s just going over the line.  I mean it’s bad enough to beat a chick up, but to pull her hair?  Total pussy move.  Oh and the haymakers to head when she was on the ground didn’t help the situation either.   As far as preventing another assault I think just shutting the door would have probably done the trick, but who am I to say?  

PS – Does it even matter if this dude pleads innocent or guilty in this case?  Is the punishment the same either way?  It must be right?  I mean why else wouldn’t you just go for a plea bargain or something?  Because this is as black and white as it gets.

BAHAHAHAH! Man the Superfans just keep playing a game of can you top this with themselves. I'm literally waiting with bated breath to see what comes next. I mean how do you beat this video? I don't know, but I'm sure somebody from the Heights will figure it out.

- Thanks to Don Chavez for tip

 
 
The Bruins shored up their backline depth by acquiring tough, stay-at-home defenseman Steve Montador from Anaheim for forward Petteri Nokelainen and also picked up what could be a key playoff guy by obtaining Mark Recchi from Tampa Bay along with a 2nd rounder in 2010 for Providence defenseman Matt Lashoff and fellow prospect Martin Karsums. 
 
The 41-year-old Recchi has 13-32-45 totals in 62 games and will be an unrestricted free agent. Recchi provides another forward who, despite his years, is still a quality player and enhances the overall forward depth. He also brings with him two Stanley Cups and a ton of playoff experience. But he may have come at a price, though it will take time for the 2010 pick to pan out (or not) to truly judge the trade. Lashoff had been a highly regarded prospect who hasn't been able to stick with the big club. Karsums has been up for a cup of joe or two and was also thought to be a future part of the Bruins. Not any more.
 
Montador will be an unrestricted free agent at season's end and is making $800,000 this season. Nokelainen has one year left at $850,000 so if the Bs do not resign Montador, the move gives the team a little bit of financial flexibility for next season.
 
Montador comes in with 4-16-20 totals, a +14, and 125 penalty minutes. Nokelainen was acquired from the Islanders for current minor leaguer Ben Walter (5th round pick in 2004 draft).

- Rear Admiral

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Panama City - Some scenarios law officers just can’t be trained for, such as finding a bag of marijuana produced from the rectal area of a female recently engaged in coitus with another female. Responding to a call of a suspicious vehicle in the parking lot of the Dollar General Store on US 231 shortly before 1 a.m. Friday , deputies found two partially nude females, ages 24 and 20, engaged in sexual activity in a 2005 white Nissan. After allowing the women to get dressed, Deputies observed multiple white pills in the vehicle, according to a Bay County Sheriff’s Office incident report. The 20-year-old woman told officers the pills... were hers and she did not have a prescription for them. The woman then confessed to having a baggie of marijuana, which she “retrieved…from her rectum.”

I could take the easy way out of this blog. I could simply say "The cops searched the other woman's ass and found crack," then yell "Goodnight everyone!" like Costanza and leave on a high note.

But I feel like making another point I've had on my mind forever. This story illustrates another reason why I don't do drugs. I don't have a problem with drugs per se... at least not a moral problem. If you're into drugs, go ahead. It's a free country and I'm not about to lecture anyone, especially since alienating America's druggie population would turn off about 95% of Barstool's audience. A much bigger problem for me is that I've watched enough cop shows to know a thing or two about Drug Mules and realize that when you do that crap, there's every likelihood that the stuff you're putting into your blood stream passed through someone's digestive system to get there. It's amazing to me that your average Hippie won't hesistate to lecture you about the amount of mercury in a can of tuna or how much monoglycerides are in a delicious Twinkie, then traipse off to their Patchouli-scented Hippie Nest and snort, smoke or shoot something that just came out of some stranger's lower instestine. God knows I have my vices, but at least I know I can trust the people at the Guinness brewery to keep their buttholes away from my indulgences. End of lecture.

(Will this be your face this year?)

Only four more weeks of trivia left!     That’s right the Tournament of Champions is April 1^st.       So in order to drum up excitement we’re going to do a March Madness Special for the entire month.   The top 2 teams who haven’t qualified for the TOC will gain entry into the richest day in all of Trivia for the entire month.    As a reminder we give out over $1,000.00 in prizes for the finals.  In addition we will be giving away a pair of Bruins tickets tonight for tomorrow’s game in a special every man for himself trivia question.    So I guess what I’m saying is that tonight is shaping up for a big night in trivia.  And yes the batting cages will be open at 6pm to get your hacks in pregame.

So this thing is apparently Kanye West’s girlfriend.   Listen Kanye I get that you like being different and cutting edge and all that bullshit.  But let me tell you something dude.   Ugly is never hip.   And any way you slice it up this bitch is beat.    Seriously you have some major fucking problems if you’re a Rock Superstar and I wouldn’t even fuck your girlfriend with Manzo’s dick.    The only explanation is that Kanye is gay.   That has to be it right?

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I was roaming th aisles of dicks sporting good and came across a John Lynch #47 patriots jersey. My question for you and the stoolies is. How much would you pay for a John Lynch Patriots Jersey? It was priced at $20 in the store. I've attached a picture of the jersey.

love the site. keep it up.
                                                      

Tim

I’m trying to think if there is any redeeming quality to this shirt.   I don’t think there is.   I mean was John Lynch even on the team for a day?   Seriously I bet by the time this left the shirt factory he had already been cut.  It’s like it never even happened.  So I just don’t see anybody on planet earth who would actually want this unless you’re trying to get a laugh out of people walking down the street or something. (And yes I do think I'd get a chuckle out of it if I saw some dude wearing this)

Prowrestling.com - In an interview with The UK Mirror, actor and early Wrestlemania headliner Mr. T commented that he turned down an invitation to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame because of the induction of another celebrity, Pete Rose. "WWE asked me to be in the Hall of Fame and I turned it down. You know why? They put Pete Rose in the wrestling Hall of Fame. This guy can't even get into his own Hall of Fame. After they put Rose in they came and asked me and I said "You don't insult me! You don't put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame before me! I ain’t going to be a part of that. They put him in and he only did one WrestleMania, and he didn't even wrestle."

Listen, when you’re right you’re right.  Never mind the fact they asked Pete Rose first.    The bigger issue is how did Pete Rose get in at all?   Like Mr. T said the guy didn’t even wrestle.   I mean if you’re going to let him in then who is next?  Kevin Federline?   Seriously for such an esteemed organization such as the WWE to pull a stunt like this is just shocking.    You might as well have taken out a white glove and slapped Mr. T across the face with it.   So good for him for taking a stand.    Mr. T doesn’t need anybody’s charity even though he probably totally does.

The Bs had a two period grudge match with the Philly Flyers in last night's tilt at the Fake Garden; heavy-hitting, chippy play, the obligatory dangerous hits by Scott Hartnell (who looks like a Soul-Glo version of Tim "Dr. Hook" McCracken and might be dirtier than him), and a tie game heading into the third. But the Bruins couldn't withstand the the barrage of bodyshots from the hungrier Philly boys in the final frame, as the Flyers scored the TKO victory with three third period goals for a 4-2 final.

Patrice Bergeron notched his 7th of the year to put them up 1-0 with a blast from the circle with five-and-change left in the first after the Flyers were called for too many men. But after Bruin Marc Savard made a perfect pass to Flyer Scottie Upshall cutting across the blue line early in the second, Philly tied things up when Upshall beat Manny Fernandez under his right armpit. (Though the loss certainly can't be pinned on the not-as-sharp-as-he-looked-two-months-ago goalie, he certainly didn't do anything to help himself earn first star on the night. I'd like to see him get a few more reps before the playoffs start, as Manny looks like he needs the games to stay in game shape from a mental aspect).

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If you're not already familiar with Megan Hauserman, or don't get VH1, she's the reality show star that just passed Rob and Amber for the top spot on the list of most reality show appearances. All she needs to do now is become an Iron Chef, marry a Brady and fight Danny Bonaduce and her record will join Wilt, Cy and DiMaggio in that "untouchable" level.

Here she is...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com