Herald.com- Moving to improve their depth on the mound and behind the plate, the Red Sox have agreements in place with right-hander Brad Penny and catcher Josh Bard, according to an industry source. Penny’s deal, which will be finalized tomorrow pending a physical exam and completion of contractual language, will pay the 30-year-old a base salary of $5 million... Penny went 6-9 with a 6.27 ERA in 17 starts and two relief appearances last season with the Los Angeles Dodgers. He was shut down in July with tendinitis in his right shoulder, but returned in mid-September and was clocked as high as 97 mph. However, he was not effective in the final weeks of the season. Nevertheless, Penny went 32-13 the two previous seasons with the Dodgers and he has a career record of 94-75 with a 4.06 ERA. His best season came in 2007 when he went 16-4 with a 3.41 ERA.

So the Yankees might have won the battles for Sabathia, Burnett and Teixeira, but the Sox have upped the ante when it comes to guys who score world class tail. I've seen the wives and girlfriends of the guys the Yankees signed, and believe me they were nothing to write home about. If any of them had come to Boston they literally would not have been worth mentioning. But in Penny the Sox have signed a guy who's dated both the astonishing Alyssa Milano and local legend Eliza Dushka. Granted, Penny's numbers on the field don't jump off the page at you, but there's no denying he's got a first ballot Hall of Fame penis, which is one of the prerequisites of being a superstar in Boston. The pitching... well with Tito and John Cumberland's help, that will improve. In the meantime, no one can deny that in the game of life, Brad Penny is a true champion.

To pay homage to Brad's prowess with the ladies, click here for a gallery of both Alyssa and Eliza, click here...