Random Thoughts

More Misle(camel)toe here...

(Video is Borderline NSFW. I say borderline because there are Boobs, but I think your boss will understand)

Link:

Lige Over Graensen indeed.

We have no smokeshow today, but since it's the holiday season I posted this instead of a gross chick. I have no idea what this commerical is about or what these chicks are selling, but I just bought like 50 them.

Now send me some smokeshow nominations so we can finish the year strong. All nominations go to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Thanks to Matt over at www.sportscrack.com for the link

Reader Email

Hey Elpresidente, I have seen some of the other weak creations on the Stool, none that could be t-shirt worthy. This however, seems to be a no-brainer. That's 325 cans of God's Nectar (Arnold Palmer). Let the stoolies speak, I'm running out of t-shirts.

I must be getting old or something because I’ve never heard of “Arnold Palmer Tee” before.  Does this mean I’m an idiot?    Either way I’m lost on how this is cool?    I mean what’s the difference between an Arnold Palmer Tee wall and a Coca Cola wall?    This gets a very lame vote in my book unless there is something I’m missing about this drink like you can only buy it at Augusta National or something.

Vote 1 for lame and 10 for lame

This is the definition of stealing the show. I mean that first crash on the motorcycle was okay. But I can almost hear this camera man saying "You call that a crash? I'll fucking show you a crash!"

CBC - A 16-year-old guitarist with Italian gothic metal band Soul Cry is in hospital after band mates allegedly stabbed him for not playing well enough. Police in Genoa say they have arrested the band's 18-year-old female singer and her 16-year-old brother. The singer has been charged with attempted murder. Police official Alessandra Bucci told Italian media on Friday the victim had been stabbed about 50 times, mainly in the back and head. The attack occurred after a rehearsal in Sestri Ponente, a town near Genoa, in which other band members accused him of playing poorly. The singer allegedly told the guitarist he was "sounding evil." The victim is recovering in hospital, but his life is not in danger. "The motive — absurd as that is — is apparently that the way my client played his instrument did not satisfy the two," said Giuseppe Maria Muscolo, a lawyer for the victim. The lead singer said she was trying to stop the victim from committing suicide, but then refused to co-operate with investigators, police said.

Ah, the old I stabbed him 50 times in the head so he wouldn’t commit suicide excuse.  Who hasn’t used that one before?  Anyway how can you sound too evil in a goth band?   Isn’t that the whole point?   You can’t sound evil enough!   And what kind of knife were they stabbing this kid with anyway?  It had to be plastic right?   Because not even Paul Pierce could take 50 stab wounds to the head and be fine.      Either way I think I may have to look into hiring Soul Cry for my wedding band.   Because any band that stabs their members for not playing up to their potential is okay by me.  After all, that’s what separates the good bands from the great ones. Seriously I may start using this motivational technique on Manzo. A couple stabs to the head should finally get his ass blogging.

Boston.com - From left: Jacque Francona, Enza Sambataro, and Tomoyo Matsuzaka. Photo by Bill Brett

I think people just taken for granted that Enza Sambataro is the hottest player's wife on the Red Sox.  (I’m not counting Jaime Kotsay because Mark Kotsay isn't going to resign with us)  Well I don’t think it’s fair just to award her that honor without at least giving Tomoyo Matsuzaka a shot at the title.  Thankfully the Globe had a picture of them standing next to each other so we could settle thing in the ring where it belongs.   

PS – I see you Jacque Francona.  

Anyway vote 1 for Enza and 10 for Tomoyo  

"Looks like the First Lady can stop shopping for a Christmas gift for me now"

Vs.

First of all, who does that lady in the fluorescent pink booty shorts think she is fooling? Honestly I've never seen a more desperate attempt to be featured on Guess That Ass in my life. Like I'm supposed to believe that she just happened to be randomly standing there wearing those shorts in a video that I "happened" to post today. Come on lady. Give it a rest already. I know your game.

Anyway, the winner here is obviously the break dancer kid. Duh. I mean that thing won Best In Show for the entire Internet back in 2006 so there is no way some bitch getting knocked down while not paying attention is going to steal the crown. Although I am curious what that lady was thinking? I mean what's the point of buying a ticket to stand in the front row if you're just going to have your back turned when the dude is flipping down the beach. You might as well just throw your money out the window if you're going to do that.

No need to vote. We all know the winner.

(Antonio Pierce Probably Cheated On His Wife At the Wedding Reception)

CLICK FOR VIDEO OF ANTONIO PIERCE MOLESTING STRIPPER

NYPost - And they say Plaxico Burress has great hands.  Burress' fellow Giant, newlywed linebacker Antonio Pierce, got awfully cozy with a pretty young thang at a West Side strip club about an hour before Burress accidentally shot himself, a video obtained by The Post reveals.  A mystery woman was also with Pierce later that night at the East Side club Latin Quarter when Burress' gun went off - and then drove both Giants to New York-Cornell Hospital in Pierce's SUV, sources said. The revelers knocked back two bottles of top-shelf Patron tequila at Head Quarters, and then helped themselves to a Thanksgiving dinner that club employees were enjoying in an upstairs bar area. On May 24, Pierce married model and television personality Jocelyn Maldonado, 28, on Maui, where members of the band Jodeci sang "All My Life" for their first dance.

No wonder the Giants are falling apart down the stretch.  Listen anybody can get lucky and win one superbowl.    But you can’t win 3 in a decade and maintain a legacy of dominance with a roster filled with scumbags and malcontents.    I mean did people watch this video?  This chick wanted nothing to do with Antonio Pierce.  Seriously take a fucking hint dude.  That little step away move is the universal sign of not interested.  Trust me I’ve seen it a million times.   Honestly if you’re going to cheat on your brand new wife at least find a bitch who likes you instead of basically assaulting a poor helpless stripper.     I guarantee you if this were Randy Moss he’d already be in jail for rape.

Guess That Ass

Things to consider while waiting for the NFL to fine Randy Moss $10,000 for using his name as a prop:

*See? This is what Corinne was talking about on "Survivor" last night. When your father dies, you go out and throw 4 TD's, you don't sit around and whine about it. Take THAT, Sugar.

*Ben Watson's chest: Where 1st downs go to die.

*If there's a limit to how much I hate the Raiders, their owner and their fans, I haven't yet reached it. All I wanted for Christmas was more crowd shots of unemployed virgins in black, spiked shoulder pads and silver make up looking like they just lost all their World of Warcraft experience points.

*And without a doubt Bill Belichick feels the same way as he demonstrated with the invention of the "F- You Challenge." Up by 23 points, just over two minutes to play, in a monsoon, he throws the bean bag for the sole purpose of making all those lowlifes and degenerates have to sit out in the deluge four extra minutes. My only question is whether he came up with that off the top of his head or if he devised it in some moment of quiet contemplation in his office. Either way it was pure, diabolical genius.

*How do you know you're having a record bad year for injuries? When you're jumping off your couch going "Goddammit! Gary Guyton is hurt?!!!"

*Nice decision by the Pats to go no-huddle, so the Raiders wouldn't be able to pull out their Lousy Player subpackage and replace it with their Crappy Player one.

*I always thought it would be a great idea to form a club of the All Time Great Draft Busts. You could get them together the day before the Draft like Masters champions, and the most recent Top Five pick to be out of football would be the host. Ryan Leaf, Art Schlichter, Aliki Smith, your 2011 dinner is on Jamarcus Russell.

To read the rest of these drunken non-sequitors, click here...

I swear to god I think my ass just got violated a little bit by just looking at this picture. Seriously though I have no sympathy for any kid who gets diddled by MJ. I mean look at this motherfucker. If you're dumb enough to get caught in the same room with this thing then don't cry to me when you get your dick groped.

See this is the stuff they don't talk about on TV and in the newspapers. All we hear about is how Bill Belichick is some evil dictator that doesn't have a caring bone in his body. But the facts are we should all be so lucky to have a role model, mentor and 2nd father figure in our life like Bill Belichick. There is a reason everybody in the NFL wants to play for us and it's not just because we win every year. It's because deep down he's just a giant teddy bear who knows a ton about football. In fact the only thing that may be more impressive than his coaching job this year is his heart. And yes I'd be pissing myself right now if I was the rest of the NFL knowing that we're going to sneak into the playoffs as a wildcard and tear shit up.

More of the Full House MILF here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com

I'm sure everybody has seen this by now. Frankly I think it was George Bush's finest moment as President. I mean did you seem him duck those shoes? He was basically laughing at the Iraq dude who threw it. Seriously it's going to take more than that to rattle George Bush. Guy hasn't been phased by the economy, Katrina, terrorists or anything else during his tenure as President. No way a size 10 pair of shoes is going to make him crack.