Random Thoughts
UMass Student Knees Campus Cop In the Groin When He Is Told To Stop Skinnydipping at Football Tailgate Party

(Thanks to this guys' buddy for sending the picture. I'd be pissed too if the cops broke up my skinny dip in the back of a truck)
WHDH - A tailgater skinny dipping inside a truck bed at a University of Massachusetts football game has been charged with assault for allegedly kneeing a campus police officer in the groin after being told to get out of the water. Deputy Chief Patrick Archbald said 21-year-old Marshal D.P. Keat
ing of Edgewater, N.J., was among several fans splashing around in the back of a pickup truck before Saturday's game against the University of Delaware. When police told them to stop, Keating initially refused to get out. Archbald says he then approached the officer and kneed him twice in the groin. The officer, whom Archbald did not name, was given morphine at a hospital. He could miss up to two weeks of work.
I’m flabbergasted by this story on like 10 different levels. First of all UMass has tailgating for football games? Who knew? And since when did “campus cops” count as real cops anyway? I thought it was just understood that you could knee them in the balls without any repercussions. I mean don’t they carry fluorescent squirt guns instead of real guns. And how do you miss two weeks of work from this? Dude, walk it off like everybody else who has been hit in the balls before. In any event if UMass wants to become a real Division I school they are going to have to start to let shit like this slide. You think the campus cops at Florida will tell students to stop skinny dipping in the back of pick up truck before Florida vs. LSU this weekend? I doubt it.
morphine?? what is this 1916??
there is no campus cops, just regular cops. but anyways, morphine? hahaa
So now he has plenty of time to protest flag men.
morphine=money still
Best part of having a kidney stone.....well the only good part at all.
True story
morphine? KICK ME IN THE JIMMY!
No Campus Cops, just state troopers that are pissed off because they are babysitting college kids. They deserve to be kneed in the junk.
You get morphine for a balls shot up there? Holy shit. Do you get heroin for a hangnail?
-Tailgating at UMass is pretty weak until next weekend Alumni weekend, Woo!
-The cops at UMass are actually state troopers, they're not rent-a-cops like most schools.
-while we're on UMass, Celts open up at the Mullins Center tonight
seriously, somebody kick my balls right now and I'll split the shit with you.
WTF, if his trooper buddies don't bust his balls (sorry pun) for this then whatever respect I had for them is gone. Imagine your buddy called out of work for 2 weeks for getting hit in the nuts, he would never hear the end of it.
fuck umass cops they suck, im surprised they didnt shoot him
cop is a fuckin possy, who takes two weeks from a nut shot...typical umass pig. i just watched the whole video on facebook of this, good stuff....but he wasnt naked, he was in his boxers
shanman, are you disappointed by that?
The cops at U-Miami and FS realize who they are looking after- smokin hot girls. Who wouldn't be pissed if their job was to babysit a bunch of hippies?
where's boston hero? he's probably got some comments on this.
If it was a chick, there would be NOOOOOOOO problem...they guy'd be in his Ford Fiesta renta cop car trying to get his dick out under the steering wheel.
El Prez got it right -- there's a lot wilder shit than skinny dipping going on at SEC tailgates!
Next, I help stretch your jaw.
proves my point that umass is a joke...stick to celebrating nit victories and rioting after ncaa division 2 losses you morons
we lost the NIT championship. We don't win shit. the parties are not what it use to be. However i wouldn't call the school a joke. Umass definitely still has its moments. next weekend (alumni weekend) should be a drunken mess.
When did all these celebration police take their oaths? Hey fuckhead, I took a big steaming shit. I'm going out for a few to celebrate. Fuck you. I'll fucking celebrate when I fucking feel like it. While all you professional celebrators wait to cut loose on major championships only, I'm going to keep my amateur status and fucking dance drunk in the street when I get a spot with a broken parking meter.
Fuck you!
LeonPhelpz, I love your radio show, but come on UMass tailgators as hippies? The hippies at the Zoo go no where near football, get it straight.
Soog, you speak the truth
A flagman never would have gotten busted in the nutz.
Nothing like starting to drink whiskey at 9:00 am on gameday. Yes, you act like an idiot, but really, who cares?
umass tailgate is no joke
The UMass student transferred in this semester from West Point. Apparently double muay thai knees to the balls is the standard defense move taught nowadays.
Kid's middle initials are D.P.--he gets a pass.
This fucking rodeo clown has not just one middle initial, he has TWO! Who has TWO middle initials in their name? I'd taser this guy at the maximum setting while he was still in the water.
Please don't mention Florida vs. LSU in the same article as UMass football.
It makes it seem like the mess UMass puts on the field resembles real college football.
some of the best players in the NFL played 1AA...maybe its time u recognize TCLover
TinyCock Lover?
im guessing you don't go to Florida, lsu or any other big name school. also we are talking about tailgating, and unlike other schools our goal is to blackout before kickoff so we are guaranteed a good day.
UMass Cops are state troopers, went there, got arrested by some.
In unrelated news, a student from the Uniiversity of Massachusetts is recovering in hospital tonight after surgeons operated to remove what appears to be a police riot baton, lodged deep in his rectum. Massachusetts State Police are investigating and sources close to the case have told this reporter that the police believe it was a case of homosexual role playing that went horribly wrong.
hes a skinny fucking faggot pardon my french
Boston wins so often it hurts to carry all the trophies.
Menino had surgery to repair an injury from carrying a Sox Championship trophy.
Spidah-
During your next break at the oil change shop, sit down and think about how sad it is to try to compare 1AA football to tailgating in Gainsville. Maybe that's why 90,000 people go watch UMass football on Saturdays.
What a douche...
TCLover,
that has nothing to do with the quality of college ball here in Mass. that has to do with the fanbase. you ever been to a 1aa (shit, a BC game) in Mass? People here don't understand football, and our lives don't revolve around it. hence, attendance at games is no where near what the south's is. get your shit right.
So lack of attendance at an event doesn't deminish the quality of the play?
thealphamale-
"you ever been to a 1aa (shit, a BC game) in Mass? "
uh, no! Why would anyone do that? I mean, look at the pictures of the tailgates. Skinny douchebags and fat chicks in an old pick-up truck. Pretty much sums it up.
TCLover33, why would you care if the guys are skinny anyways?
Oh thats right!
Because ya GAY.
Sorry...
Chav Eats Babies-
I'll be being "gay" in Gainsville Saturday with hot chicks EVERYWHERE. Meanwhile, your manager is calling you. The fries are ready.
Tonight you can walk throught the rain to some shit Boston bar and pass out thinking about Manny being Manny.
BAHAHAH typical..I work at a fast food place, i live in my moms basement. I'm glad my McDonalds manager lets me on the computer in between fry dippings though!
But you still hate the skinny guys don't ya? I mean, you just said it 1 post ago. I doubt your gay mindset has changed already. So good luck at your tailgate with all the BIG GUYS that are so important to a good tailgate. I mean, YOU JUST said it after all.....
TCLover33
so lets get this right, your a 28 year old virgin, coastal community college drop out, still going to college partys and trying to creep on univ of fla girls you will never have a chance with, sounds abourt right, man i wish i was you, grow up pal and stop lting you just make your self look more and more like a fool
TCL, your beloved Rays are playing Saturday night at 8PM as well. Your gonna miss their 2nd ever ALCS game to go watch LSU run all over Florida?
TClover you moron, that picture isnt from umass, its a stock photo of a pickup truck pool. Your intelligence keeps shining through.
I'll be watching the Rays from my beach house with my girlfriend (who was a Florida cheerleader last year).
You guys can cram into a damp Boston Mick bar and pretend you've been a Sox fan forever. That is unless you have to work second shift that night at the muffler plant.
El Pres stop jerkin off to yesterdays smokeshow and start posting some new shit. I heavily depend on the stool to get me through the day.
TC i thought you'll be tailgating in gainesville? If you are just going complete make shit up, at least stick with one story.
BTW I'm thinking you live in hartford Ct.
I can do both jackass.
U Mass has a football team? Do they wear pads and everything?
EastCoastSucks-
Only if you mean maxipads...
TC, does it make you mad that your girls thinking of Tebow when your lucky enough to get some?
The UMass School system has State Police usually you D Bags, doesnt get more "real" then that.
bgfm03-
Not really. They can think of you if they want.
I don't give a shit. I just hump and dump...
What's with the look on the kid's face? It's like they're sending him to Abu Graib or something.
Hey TCLover...stop ignoring the facts. You said the tailgate sucked because of all the "skinny dudes" there. YOU GAYYYYY SON. You gay.
Owned.
Chav Eats Babies-
Good one. You really now how to slam somebody.
I really thought you guys could handle yourselves and talk shit. Posers. All you do is make gay jokes.
UMASS hippies don't go to football games, they eat shrooms, smoke weed, drink beers and wonder around in the MAZE...
I've been to a FSU/LSU game in Tallahasse and there is no comparison to N.E. college football tailgates. Maybe, "The Game" at Havard/Yale with all the JCrew chicks...
OK, the chicks down south are hotter and bigger crowds, but Southern women love us Boston men!
Are they sure this wasn't Tracy Morgan shooting a skit? Looks and sounds like it.
I've only been down South once, just to see what we won in the Civil War.
Chav Eats Babies lets be serious. You live in the basement of your soon to be mother-in-law's house, not your mom's. Don't act like we don't know who you are EP...
How does this Thick Cock Lover know so much about Boston Mick bars anyways. If he does own a beach house, it's underneath the dick dock out in Provincetown. This guy would eat his heart out to cram into a bar full of skinny twinks, pull up his shirt and tie it in a knot by his balony tits, and let dudes rotate ramrodding and cornholing his ass. That's gangster talk for ASS RAPE.
Delaware has a University? Do they have books and everything?
UMass actually has a legit tailgate scene, and then - get this BC fans - people actually are in their seats at kickoff. Crazy, huh? Yup. They go to the game and watch it. It's fuckin weird.
UMass has a ligit tailgate scene? Now I know you're joking.
Nice try though...
Man I was at the last Florida/LSU game in Gainesville two years ago and tailgating there is on a different level. After reading this I just got really pissed that I can't make it down there this year.
actually the lack of attendance isnt due to the fact that people in MA dont understand football, its just that we are all too busy watching our winning hometeams...the sox, pats, celts etc, they dont have that option in the south.
actually the lack of attendance isnt due to the fact that people in MA dont understand football, its just that we are all too busy watching our winning hometeams...the sox, pats, celts etc, they dont have that option in the south.
I was there to witness this and it was hilarious. That kids the man, and yes umass cops suck.
haha you know whats the best part hes my brothers best friend.. he basically lives with me and trust me hes done WAY CRAZIER SHIT.. lmaoo luv u marshalll!
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Barstool Sports Local Smokeshow of the Day (Svetlana)
Introducing Svetlana from Superfan U. And that's that. She is the last smokeshow to get 2 VIP tickets to our Inaugural Blueball. Tomorrow should be fun to say the least! Now excuse me while I go out and buy a blue shirt. No joke. Pink here I come!
Just because the Blueball is happening tomorrow night doesn't mean we don't need more nominations. Because with all great things my guess is that there will be another Blueball within a couple months if this one goes good. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Red Sox ALCS Rotation Set - Fans Predictably Question Francona

Terry Francona announced the Red Sox ALCS at a press conference:
Game 1: Daisuke Matsuzaka
Game 2: Josh Beckett
Game 3: Jon Lester
Game 4: Tim Wakefield
Game 5*: Daisuke Matsuzaka
Game 6*: Josh Beckett
Game 7*: Jon Lester
(*if necessary)
"It’s best of seven. It’s not best of six," Francona said. "The idea is to win the series, not win Game 6. I never quite understood that philosophy. Our idea, the way we set it up, is to win the series. If it’s such a big deal to pitch [Lester] in Game 6, what happens Game 7? We’ll give the guys the rest they need and set it up for the entire series. And then if you’re losing, don’t panic."
First of all after 2 World Series in 4 years Terry Francona shouldn’t have to explain himself to anyone. "Because I said so" should be enough at this point. But naturally Red Sox fans and media members - who somehow think they know more than Tito about his own team – are lining up by the thousands to question whether Francona should go with John Lester in Games 2 and 6 instead of Josh Beckett. Now is this a legitimate argument? Sure, Lester has been the Red Sox best pitcher and you'd hate to have him only pitch once in the series, but Red Sox Nation has been so dead-wrong on Francona it is beyond laughable at this point. 90% of the fans and media wanted him fired long, long ago. And now these same people have the balls to question Francona on the rotation? He's 14-4 in his last 18 post-season games - I think he knows what he's doing! Again, Lester vs. Beckett in Game 2 is a legitimate argument, but Francona has to get the benefit of the doubt. After 2 World Series in 4 years, you've got to trust he's making the best decision for his ballclub. Sure he’s got 1 more championship ring (thanks to Brady), but it’s kind of hilarious how Bill Belichick can do no wrong in this town and Francona still gets treated like he's got something to prove.
Guy Whose Girlfriend Spent Two Years on the Toilet Wins the Lottery. Again.

GREAT BEND, Kan. - A Kansas man whose girlfriend was physically stuck to the toilet in their home has won $20,000 in the state Lottery, for the second time this year. Kory McFarren cashed in his winning $2 Bonus Crossword ticket in Great Bend Monday. On July 29, the 37-year-old received six months of probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor mistreatment of a dependent adult. McFarren called deputies in February to report that his girlfriend, Pam Babcock, had refused to come out of the bathroom for two years. Authorities found her stuck to the toilet. Medical personnel estimated Babcock had been on the toilet for at least a month and said the seat had adhered to sores on her body. She was released from a Wichita hospital after several months of treatment.
Obviously, Kory McFarren is one of those guys for whom everything evens out. He loses a job, he gets another one the same weekend, the same money. One friend gets kicked out of her apartment for buzzing in a jewel thief, another friend starts doing everything the opposite and lands a job with the New York Yankees. His girlfriend gets stuck to the toilet for two years, he hits on a scratch ticket twice. You know who Kory McFadden is? He's Even Steven, that's who.
Reader Email: Superman Sues Barstool Sports

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October 7, 2008
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Re: Unauthorized Use of DC Comics’ Property
Internal Reference No.: TCN 08/00088
Dear Sirs:
This letter is being written to you on behalf of our affiliated company, DC Comics. DC Comics is the owner of all copyright, trademark and other intellectual property rights in and to the SUPERMAN character, the S IN SHIELD Logo, and other associated indicia, with respect to a wide variety of goods and services (collectively “SUPERMAN Character Properties”). In view of DC Comics’ ownership of these rights, no one may manufacture, offer for sale or sell any products utilizing DC Comics’ SUPERMAN Character Properties without the express prior authorization and consent of DC Comics.
Notwithstanding this, it has come to our attention that Barstool Sports is manufacturing and distributing unauthorized t-shirts bearing the SUPERMAN Character Properties on its website at http://www.back9stores.com/barstoolsports/, in violation of federal and state law. Such unauthorized use of the SUPERMAN Character Properties constitutes copyright infringement, as well as, trademark infringement and unfair competition, in that such use is likely to mislead the public into believing that Barstool Sports is licensed, sponsored or authorized by DC Comics. In addition, Barstool Sports’ use of DC Comics’ trademark will dilute the distinctiveness of the SUPERMAN Character properties by trading upon the goodwill and reputation which the public associates with such properties. Further, Barstool Sports’ acts of unfair competition substantially interfere with the merchandising and licensing of the SUPERMAN Character Properties.
Accordingly, we demand that Barstool Sports and each and every person or company affiliated with it:
(1) Immediately and permanently discontinue the manufacture, display, advertising and sale of any infringing products;
(2) Immediately voluntarily surrender to us, Barstool Sports’ entire inventory of any infringing products on hand as of this date; and
(3) Advise us in writing of Barstool Sports’ compliance with the foregoing and furnish us with the following information no later than October 14, 2008;
(a) The quantities sold and sales prices paid for the infringing products;
(b) If you are not the manufacturer of the infringing products, provide the names and addresses of each person or company from whom Barstool Sports purchased the infringing products; the names and addresses of the manufacturers of the infringing products; the amounts of infringing products purchased; and the prices paid for the infringing products.
Unless we receive a comprehensive response to this letter, as well as assurances that you have ceased to engage in the infringing conduct by the above referenced date, we will take further legal action against you.
Nothing in this letter shall be construed as a waiver of relinquishment of any right or remedy possessed by DC Comics or any other affected party.
This letter is not a complete statement of DC Comics’ rights in connection with this matter and nothing contained herein constitutes an express or implied waiver of any rights, remedies or defenses in connection with this matter, all of which are expressly reserved.
Sincerely,
/den/
Dale Nelson
Vice President, Intellectual Property Counsel
Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.
4000 Warner Boulevard
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Let me state this loud and clear. Barstool Sports will not be intimidated. Not even by Superman. I mean I’m no lawyer but my legal council (Manzo and Jerry) tell me that DC Comics can’t sue me for using their logo because I’m not using their logo. Listen we’re not selling Superman shirts. We’re selling Supedroia shirts. It’s not even spelled the same way! And to be honest I never even heard of Superman until I got this letter. Therefore we will continue to sell these shirts at least until October 14th when this letter kicks in. Nobody pushes around the Stool and gets away with it!
Dad Says He Shouldn't Have To Pay Child Support Because He Was Asleep When His Girlfriend Had Sex With Him

SELKIRK, Man. -- A Manitoba man is suing the mother of his child, claiming he shouldn't have to pay child support because he was asleep when she had sex with him. In a statement of claim filed in Manitoba Court of Queen's Bench last week, the man from Tyndall, Man., claims he was visiting the woman from Selkirk in late 2006 when he fell asleep. The man alleges he woke up and found the woman was having sexual intercourse with him. The man says when he "demanded that she cease and desist" she complied. But about nine months later the woman gave birth to a child that he agrees is his. The man is seeking damages including mental distress and anxiety, as well as reimbursement for all child support expenses paid and payable by him.
Fucking Brilliant! If you don’t think I’m using this excuse for whatever problem I encounter for the rest of my life than you’re fucking crazy.
“Hey Pres you’re being sued by DC comics for copyright infringement”
“I was asleep when those shirts were designed.”
“Hey Pres there is the dad of a smokeshow in your driveway who wants to pummel your face in. “
“I was asleep when that was posted.”
“Hey Pres the First Lady just found out you banged a bunch of Smoekshows after the blueball.”
“I was asleep when it happened.”
Honestly it’s the excuse that keeps on giving.
Is This the Face of a Man Who Would Let a 10 Year Old Wreck His Van at 90 MPH?

Meet Randy Lewis. The Tennessee man was so plastered Sunday afternoon that he directed a 10-year-old boy to drive his van, which eventually crashed after the child hit speeds of upwards of 90 mph. Lewis, 43, was charged with drunk driving, reckless endangerment, and child abuse. When arrested, Lewis, pictured in the below mug shot, had cocaine in his system and a blood alcohol content of .26, more than three times the state limit, according to the sheriff's affidavit. He admitted drinking "at least 15 beers, along with some liquor," cops reported... For her part, Evans was spotted by sheriff's deputies shoving pills in her mouth while seated near the overturned van.
Look, I'm not a perfect parent, I'll admit that. And I try not to be too judgmental. Everyone with kids knows that look you get from other people that says "I don't like the way you're raising your children." But that said, and at the risk of sounding all holier-than-thou, I'm going to have to take the anti-putting-the-10-year-old-behind-the-wheel position here. Even giving Randy the benefit of the doubt and assuming he told the kid to stick to the speed limit (which I'm sure a reasonable looking guy like him did), I still think it was the wrong thing to do. I know, I know... it's easy for me to say. And maybe some time soon I'll find myself in Lewis' shoes with 15 beers plus some liquor in me and ask my son to drive and you'll all call me a hypocrite. But I'm sticking to my guns on this. By the way, how is a 10 year old even tall enough to push the pedal down to 90 MPH? The kid must be big for his age. No wonder Randy trusted him. And yes I do love the t-shirt; Don't be suprised if you see that being sold at our online store soon. We'll call it the "Randy Lewis"
Greatest QB Ever Leaves Rotting Animal in Teammate's Locker

FLORHAM PARK, N.J. – The details remain sketchy, but the rank of Brett Favre’s latest locker room prank does not. [Eric] Barton could not remember whether it happened last week or the week before. Nor did he know exactly what kind of dead animal Favre shot (presumably), bagged and dumped inside Barton’s locker. Some teammates believe it was a wild turkey, but regardless, they all gathered around Barton’s locker and engaged in fits of laughter. The dead animal was inside a bag that was filled with blood and guts. Asked if this was an example of how Favre was fitting into the Jets’ locker room, Faneca said: “He fits because of his personality. He likes to have a good time and joke around and have fun while you’re doing it. That’s the way we should be doing things out here.”
Here's something that illustrates the difference between a good NFL QB and one of the all time greats. You're in the twilight of your career, coming to a new organization where you don't know any of your teammates. You've barely learned the playbook. No one knows from week to week whether you're going to put up 6 TD's (Game 4) or throw stupid reckless INTs (Games 2 & 3). So what better way to ingratiate yourself with the guys around you than by spreading a little E-Coli around the locker room. Nothing says "unity" like a strain of salmonella spreading through the roster. The team that vomits violently with amoebic dysentery together, stays together. Some might think leaving a dead animal in someone's locker is bad, when when you're Brett Favre and your teammates in Green Bay took dumps in girls dorm room closets, it's just a form of team building. Besides, when you've got the about-to-be-fired Eric Mangini for a coach, what's another rotting corpse in the locker room?
Students Accuse Bus Driver Of Stopping On Train Tracks

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. - Some students aboard a school bus in Volusia County said it was a terrifying ride home for them on Monday afternoon. The students said the driver stopped the bus on some railroad tracks along International Speedway Boulevard and refused to move until the children quieted down. During the incident, the Campbell Middle School students said a train approached them. "I saw the train coming, and I was looking up above, and I saw the rail guard coming down, so she started to back up," student Seth Pittell said. "But if a train is coming, their life is in danger. You're putting their lives in danger, and you're yelling at them, and you won't back up the bus? She was threatening to get off the bus and have us just sit there," student Joseph Geist said. A parent of one of the children aboard the bus said he believes the incident could have been handled better. "You pull of in a safe place and discipline them and turn it down. You don't try to kill the kids. You don't threaten them," parent Glen Teschner said. Officials with Volusia County Schools said the driver has been relieved of her duties.
The parents can cut the shit with this whole the bus driver put the kids in danger routine. This guy did exactly what he had to do. Kids won't shut up? You fucking park that bitch on the railroad tracks and see who blinks first. Something tells me these punks got real quiet real fast when that locomotive was bearing down on them. No wonder we’re getting our asses kicked all over the globe. Bus drivers can’t even scare the kids quiet anymore. The pussification of America continues. I mean look at that four year old bitch in the tie-dye. She’s basically laughing right at us!










UMass and he's from Jersey.