BOSTON -- A drunk driver was arrested early Friday morning after driving nearly 17 miles the wrong way on I-93 Southbound. Norwood resident Siobhan Hayes, 21, is being held on $5,000 cash bail after driving the wrong way on I-93 at speeds in excess of 100 mph with a blood-alcohol level of .165. Police said that Hayes drove from Hanover all the way to Dorchester in her 1998 Chevrolet Malibu before her tires blew out from police stop sticks. The driver then fled her vehicle, and was later found by state troopers hiding near the Neponset River.

CLICK FOR VIDEO OF FIELD SOBRIETY TEST

You know I almost don’t blame this girl.  I mean have you ever driven a Chevy Malibu before?    One second you’re going 65 mph and next thing you know you’re going 110 the wrong way down 93 South and you don’t even know what happened.    It’s that smooth of a ride.  Regardless this chick sucks at getting a DUI.    Listen the cops just found you hiding in the woods after driving 100mph the wrong way down the highway.   Big deal.  Game ain’t over yet.   But when you scream that you’re drunk in front of the TV crews you leave the cops no choice.    They have to book you.  Let this be a lesson to all cute chicks who get DUI’s in the future.  Show some poise.   Suck a couple dicks.   Don’t just scream that you’re drunk.   This is like yelling that you got a pair of pocket Q’s in hold em before you see the river card.  Just be patient and see how everything unfolds. God gave you long legs for a reason. Put them to use.

PS – How do you drive the wrong way on 93 South?     You have to do a 3 point turn on the highway right?  That may be the most impressive part of this whole story.