Random Thoughts

Introducing Jaime from Salem State. Bring it Jaime! Nothing like a little North Shore action to close out the week. Congrats as Jaime just won two tickets to our Barstool Smokeshow Blue Ball. And just as an FYI to all the dude who are showing up without chicks to this thing. You don't want to be the guy hitting on Jaime like in the below photos. Or maybe you do?

We got three days of smokeshows left before the party. Time to bring out the heavy guns if you know a hot chick who needs to be at this thing. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click for more of Jaime

TMZ - Sarah Palin is officially a legend! Hustler Video is shooting a porn with a look-alike titled "Nailin' Paylin." The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who "will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door." In another scene -- a flashback -- "young Paylin's creationist college professor will explain a 'big bang' theory even she can't deny!" There's also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes. The video is in pre-production, but is being fast tracked for release before the election.

Is this really what we've come to in this country? Have we sunk this low? I mean Lisa Ann doesn't even remotely look like Sarah Palin. Seriously how many chicks did Hustler interview for this thing? Like two? I refuse to believe that they couldn't find a closer resemblance than this? No wonder our economy is getting it's ass kicked with this type of half assed effort. Hustler totally packed it in on this one. Yeah I'll watch it and beat off, but I won't be happy about it.

Hey have people noticed the banner ad at the top for the Grand Canal Oktoberfest.   Well if not that’s why I’m writing this blog.   Tickets are 10 bucks.  It should be a great time.  They got once of the best outdoor patios going right now if you haven’t seen it yet.  So got drink some German Beer and tell them we sent you or some shit like that and maybe they’ll advertise again and I can keep bringing the funny.

Okay so yesterday I ripped The Dirty to shreds for taking photos from our site and slapping their logo on it. Naturally some dude named "Get Rad" (AKA Havooka) sent me a nasty email and we had a solid little exchage. So to help pass the time on a Friday afternoon here it is. You pick the winner. I will give this guy some credit. Douche Tard isn't a bad name. And just for comparisson size The Dirty is a big website. Almost identical traffic numbers to the Stool.

READER EMAIL

From:Get Rad

To:feedback@barstoolsports.com

Sent:Thursday, October 02, 2008 6:25 PM

Subject:Douche Tard

Whom it may concern,

My name is Get Rad! You can just call me the guy that gets laid a lot more than you ever will. I work for TheDirty.com and wanted to reply to your post about us today. First off let me say your site is for the gays and I got bored with in the first 3 seconds of reading it. Secondly all of our photos are user submitted and we get some douche who owns a lame site like yours emailing us every week saying “you stole my pictures”. Usually we don’t respond because we are better than everyone else and we know it but today I am hung over and in a bad mood so you get the pleasure of us acknowledging your pathetic existence. If you think we have the time to search the internet for pictures than you are high and I would like your drug dealers number because whatever you are getting is better than what I have. I attached a picture of myself to save you the time of searching the internet looking for one so you can shred me because we both know that what you’re going to do as soon as you finish reading this email…..fuck you very much

Love you… Mean it

   Get Rad

   TheDirty.com

From:Random Thoughts [mailto:randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 02, 2008 4:31 PM
To: Get Rad
Subject: Re: Douche Tard

Is this you Hashoom?    It can't be the guy in the picture.  Nobody would be that dumb to really send that shit.   Keep driving into telephone poles and screaming like a bitch when you get a breathalyzer bro....

From:Get Rad

To:'Random Thoughts'

Sent:Thursday, October 02, 2008 7:39 PM

Subject:RE: Douche Tard

No its me Get Rad look on our site ass clown. Until today I had never even heard of your site? Stop trying to get attention for traffic. If you want we can have a death match in the Octagon Im in if you are. I have included my name and # on this email so you can contact me directly for death match rules and details.

Stay you

   Edmund "GetRad"

   310-926-6447

   TheDirty.com

From:Random Thoughts [mailto:randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 02, 2008 4:52 PM
To: Get Rad
Subject: Re: Douche Tard

Now I'm fucked!  You sent your number and email for a death match!  I really did it this time.  Listen Hakeem just stop fucking putting your logo on our photos and we're good.

From:Get Rad

To:'Random Thoughts'

Sent:Friday, October 03, 2008 1:02 PM

Subject:RE: Douche Tard

Ok I know this is really hard to comprehend but we don’t search the internet for pictures. People submit through our site which is all automated so we have no clue if they have been used elsewhere. If you are not afraid of me then include your contact info and agree to a fight. We will stream it live from both site it will be awesome.

Love you mean it

   Edmund "GetRad"

   310-926-6447

   TheDirty.com

From:Random Thoughts [mailto:randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com]
Sent: Friday, October 03, 2008 2:36 PM
To: Get Rad
Subject: Re: Douche Tard

Ohh...Your readers send you stuff?   I've never heard of that before?    It sounds magical.   That's obviously where I got confused.   My bad.   I'm going to have look into this reader email stuff.    So basically whenever "a reader" sends you something through this "reader email contraption" it automatically becomes yours and you get to act like you own it?    Sounds wonderful.    I got to get this "reader email" thing on Barstool ASAP.       

Now as far as your offer to fight me in the Octagon in a death match I think I'm going to have to pass.   I suck at fighting and I'm real out of shape anyway.  Plus you looked pretty tough in that mug shot.   If you want to play like a sport or something I can do that though.    And as far as my contact info you can look it up since we actually don't hide our identities like you guys do.   I don't need to get arrested for you to know my name is Dave Portnoy.  

PS - Apparently unlike you I really am pretty busy so unless you plan on flying down here for a HR derby or for Brownies Beer Die this is it.  So take it easy Havrooom and thanks for the tip on reader email.... 

From:Get Rad

To:'Random Thoughts'

Sent:Friday, October 03, 2008 2:42 PM

Subject:RE: Douche Tard

No problem…see you in hell they have bottle service there I hear. You can sit at my table you don’t want to set at Hoomans he is a douche bag.

   Edmund "GetRad"

   310-926-6447

   TheDirty.com

So there you have it. I think it was a good clean fight. Vote 1 for Get Rad kicked my ass and 10 for the "it seems like the I always win because I do"

PS - That's a Stu Feiner quote

Man, I haven't seen anybody collapse like this since Big Easy went down on the Gauntlet last year. Seriously you got to love fat chicks. Not only are they gross to look at and touch, but they can't even walk up a hill without dying. Honestly what is the point of even having them on the planet? I mean at least fat dudes are usually funny. Fat chicks just bring nothing to the table.

Thanks to Internet Cowboy for the video

WARNING - THIS VIDEO IS THE MOST DISTURBING VIDEO IN THE HISTORY OF THE STOOL. WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK. IT'S TREE MAN AND HIS POSSE GOING TO THE CIRCUS.....

I'm speechless over here. Even the doctor didn't know what to do. And while I'm the last guy who should be giving Tree Man and his clan advice, they may want to think about calling ahead next time they are going to just drop in on a town together like this. Just seems like common circus freak courtesy.

Dude, you ain't getting laid with that type of pour.

- Thanks to Craig for the pic

When you write for the world's most dominant sportssmut collossus and you post something that turns out to be prescient, it's wise to stay humble, don't crow about it, and keep it to yourself. Unfortunately, I'm not wise, so I'll go right ahead and draw a big circle around my brilliance. The day after Tom Brady got knocked out for the season and there was widespread panic among the masses, I kept my wits about me, held my head high and walked calmly through the chaos like Lt. Col. Kilgore in "Apocalypse Now." On a list of the ways in which the Patriots could still win Super Bowl XLIII, I included the following:

"Jerod Mayo becomes Patrick Willis. Willis was the 11th pick last year and the NFL Defensive ROTY on a crappy team. Mayo was taken 10th by the Pats. It's not asking too much."

Which caused some Internet Cowboys to lob mortar fire at my coordinates from the safety of their cubicles:

• "asking Mayo to be Patrick Willis in his first year IS asking a lot"
• "patrick willis will be the face of Middle Linebackers in upcoming years. Jerod Mayo is not nearly as talented/fast/or powerful as patrick willis. so not a shot.. "
• "Mayo=Patrick Willis? Sorry bra! Name another LB in tha last 20 years that was Defensive Rookie Of The Year AND made the 1st team All Pro in the same year. PATRICK WILLIS IS A BEAST!!!"

Out of respect to the Caps Lock and exclamation point crowd, I'll acknowledge that we're only a month into the season and it's too soon to reach any definitive conclusions. But with the Pats facing the 49ers this weekend, giving us a chance to see Mayo and Willis on the same field, now seems like a good time to compare their numbers after the first three games of their careers:

• Willis, 2007: Pct. of team's defensive snaps: 100%. Total tackles: 26. Solo tackles: 19.
• Mayo, 2008: Pct. of team's defensive snaps: 97%. Total tackles: 25. Solo tackles: 21.

So with numbers like that, the Pats relying on Mayo to play every down, regardless of down and distance and what kind of package they have on the field, and with more-coveted draft picks like Vernon Gholston of the Jets already being called a "bust," maybe it's not too soon to start considering Jerod Mayo the Patrick Willis of 2008. All apologies will accepted in advance. Thanks.

CLICK HERE FOR ANOTHER MONSTER POP WARNER HIT

Ok this has to be from Manning Bowl right? I mean how else can you explain #99 making weight? The kid is fucking huge! And everybody knows East Lynn Pop Warner fucked with the scales.

Boston.com - Officials at the Waltham institution announced today that they had won approval from the state Board of Higher Education to change their name.Gloria Cordes Larson, the university president, called it a "landmark event," saying that "Bentley has become the model of a 21st-century business university.""Bentley has been operating at the level expected of a university and we are extremely pleased that the [higher education board] has recognized that," she said in a statement.

Bentley University?   Cut the shit.  Honestly who the fuck do they think they’re kidding?  Listen if Bentley qualifies as a University than Barstool Sports is a fortune 500 company.   Bentley University?  HAHA!

Boston.com - Chad Ellis hosted a presidential debate party last Friday, but he didn't invite any of his friends. Instead he filled his home with strangers who found his party listed on Barack Obama's website. "A lot of my friends aren't as into politics as my wife and I, and we were very interested in the idea of meeting new people with strong views, even if they were different from our own," said Ellis, a game designer from Brookline. "We ended up with 15 guests we'd never met before, and just had a really interesting party with them." They had such a good time, in fact, that several of the guests will return for another party at Ellis's home tonight to watch the vice presidential debate. Welcome to the 2008 debate season, Internet-style.

The Blueball doesn’t have shit on Chad Ellis.    Seriously this is my kind of party!   Nothing beat a good old fashioned debate throw down!  I bet the cops had to break this bad boy up before it got too out of control.   Speaking of debates did anybody watch any of it last night?   I’ll admit I checked it out just because I wanted to see how Palin looked.  I thought her ass was rocking.    Anyway I have a quick question.  Apparently John Mcain won’t sit down with Spain?   What’s that shit all about?   Are we enemies with them now?   Should I cross them of my honeymoon list?  Little help? Fuck Spain!

Click for more of Sarah Shahi

(send all wakeup nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com)

Man it must suck to go a century without winning a World Series huh? I mean imagine rooting for a bunch of losers like the Cubs? Every year it's the same old fucking thing. Makes you appreciate living in Title Town USA where not winning a championship for 3 months is considered a drought.