Random Thoughts
Barstool Sports Local Smokeshow of the Day (Farren)
It’s with a heavy heart that I introduce Farren from Essex who very well may be the hottest girl on the planet. Literally. Unfortunately for us Farren goes to school at Daytona State College in Daytona Beach. AKA The Harvard of the South. Such a shame to let talent like this leave the state. UMass, Merrimack, Bridgewater etc should all be ashamed of themselves. So tip a 40 boys and girls because we will NOT be seeing Farren at our Smokeshow Blueball unless she flys in for it which I would probably pay for just so I could see her live. She’s that hot. Yes, I would take this girl over like 97% of Hollywood. She brings it in every single picture I saw of her and is a total potato sack girl.
Time is seriously running out for smokeshow nominations. We got 7 girls left who can get two VIP passes to our Smokeshow Blueball. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com
Man Killed In Chili Eating Contest
Telegraph - An amateur chef died the day after eating a "superhot" chilli in a bet with his friend over who could make the hottest dish, an inquest heard. Andrew Lee, 33, suffered heart failure the morning after he ate the chilli. Toxicology tests are now being carried out to see if the fork lift truck driver suffered a fatal reaction to the dish or whether anything else contributed to his death. Cooking was one of his main interests and he went to his girlfriend Samantha Bailey's house to make a chilli. His father John Lee told the inquest: "He had a bet with Samantha's brother who could make the hottest chilli then went back to her house to stay." Police officers were called to the house after receiving reports of a man suffering a cardiac arrest and Mr Lee was found lying on the floor.
Okay here is my question. Do you think the guy who made the “superhot” chili is sneaky a little bit proud of himself? I mean just a little bit? Yeah I know he probably didn’t want to literally kill his brother in law, but the message is loud and clear here. Don’t fuck with my chili because it’s lethal. And wasn’t that the goal of this bet in the first place? To see who could make who blink first? So my guess is that he’s 98% sad and 2% proud. Let’s just hope and pray that the autopsy doesn’t show that there was foul play involved because I’d hate to learn that this guy died from food poisoning as opposed to pure heat. It would just ruin the integrity chili contests everywhere.
PS – This kind of reminds me of when that French Chef tried to kill Homer at the Taste of Springfield with an “eclair containing one million calories and 25 pounds of butter per square inch covered in chocolate so dark light can not escape its surface...and a little poison"
NESN Needs To Take Notes From Philly On How To Cover A Post Game Celebration
Fuck man. This is how you cover a champagne celebration! Nesn is so stupid. Honestly what is the point of having Heidi Watney and Kathryn Tappen work for you if you're just going to put them in snow suits every time the bubbly is broken out and not even show them getting drenched? No wonder NESN said no when I asked if Heidi could host our Smokeshow Blueball. They're a bunch of prudes. For the record Heidi said yes. No word on whether she was just sneaky looking for a little Pres dick.
Kate Beckinsale Is The Hottest Milf In the World Period
Those fucking pants should be illegal. If they don't make you feel tingly in special places then you're probably gay. (not that there is anything wrong with that)
Looks Like TBS Will Need To Replace That MLB Playoff Sign In Times Square Again
First Try (September 1st ,Times Square)
2nd Try (September 25th, Times Square)
What's that old expression? If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Or how about 3rd time is a charm? Seriously TBS must be getting pretty fucking sick and tired of having to switch up their playoff signs in Times Square because New York teams keeps screwing them up. I mean it can't be cheap to make these types of changes. I guess it serves them right though. They should have played it safe and only put Red Sox players up there from the beginning since Boston teams competing for championships is about the only reliable thing left in this topsy turvy world.
Reader Email: I Can't Believe You Haven't Mentioned That Scarlett Johannson Got Married Yet
Reader Email
I can't believe you haven't talked about this today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/articles/2008/09/29/johansson_marries/
The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons. The dog ate my tampons.
Denice Clemmons
Ok I know that Denice Clemmons wrote me this email just so I'd post it and rant and rave about how crazy she is and I guess she succeeded. I mean when I went to open it I knew it would be nuts, but I didn't think it would be this nuts. Kudos Denice. Kudos.
PS - The reason we didn't talk about it is because we already did when she got engaged. The actual marriage is just semantics.
Jets Run Up the Score and Viciously Cheap Shot a Guy
NFL.com: Brett Favre set a career high... with six touchdown passes...and New York took advantage of a series of mistakes by Arizona in a big second quarter before holding on to beat the Cardinals 56-35 on Sunday..."I asked him if he had tied a career high and he said, 'I've never thrown six,"' said Jerricho Cotchery, ... "He was just dialing it up and telling everybody, 'Hey, get ready. The ball is coming."...Favre hit Dustin Keller for a 24-yard touchdown and a 2-point conversion with 1:54 remaining to seal it for the Jets.
Arizona wide receiver Anquan Boldin was carted off the field after a scary helmet-to-helmet collision with New York safety Eric Smith in the end zone with 27 seconds remaining.
So to review: The New York Jets, that paragon of NFL virtue, with a Head Coach who represents the standard by which all other coaches are judged on the issues of integrity and fair play, up by 13 points with under two minutes to play against a terrible team, threw for a TD, then went for the 2-point conversion. And to literally add injury to insult, had his Safety spear an unprotected Anquan Boldin with a vicious helmet-to-helmet hit. So now we all know how the rest of the story will play out. The football media will be all over the Jets for this. Eric Mangini will be universally denounced for his classlessness. There'll be pressure put on the Jets ownership to suspend him for the damage he's done to the hard-earned reputation of the entire organization. US Senators will launch investigations into their behavior and question the legitimacy of the four games they won last year. And Brett Favre will be mocked coast-to-coast on blogs and fan message boards for being a poncy little pretty boy.
No wait. Strike that. Nothing will be done or said. Mangini is palsy with the media and Brettfavre doesn't care about records. He, like Eric Smith, is a a "competitor" who was "just out there trying to make a play." My bad.
Sarah Palin Brings It In the Swimsuit Competition
First of all I'm totally hiring the band playing in the background of this video for my wedding. They rocked this shit! But that's neither here nor there. Let this be a lesson to all the chicks who worry about how appearing on Barstool Sports will effect their future. I mean look at Sarah Palin shaking that ass. It didn't hurt her did it? So no more telling me that you're worried what people at work will think when they see pictures of you on Smokeshow of the Day or on the cover of the Stool. Because if anything it will only get you one step closer to being President.
saw someone wearing a tee shirt that said "Sarah Palin is a CUNT." Needless to say that guy instantly replaced Tom Brady as my new hero..
el pres....do we have any videos of Biden tapping his foot in the stall at an I-95 rest-stop in Wilmington?....that would really influence who lives on Pennsylvania Ave. next year...and also vault the stool past the likes of huffington et. al.
Palin "can see Russia"
el pres....do we have any videos of Biden tapping his foot in the stall at an I-95 rest-stop in Wilmington?
— carbo, Sep 29 2008, 1:17 p.m.
Say what you will about Biden's politics, but I guarantee he's one of the few guys in D.C. who would kick your ass 100 ways from Sunday if you said that to him.
saw someone wearing a tee shirt that said "Sarah Palin is a CUNT." Needless to say that guy instantly replaced Tom Brady as my new hero..
— Da_Man, Sep 29 2008, 1:17 pm
If this guy replaced Tom Brady as your new hero, you should probably consider hanging out with those hippies that pull pranks in South Station: http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd120/hipsterrunoff/product_sarah_palin.jpg
The funniest part about politics is that every asshole babbles about it, but barely anyone votes.
I bet half you motherfuckers who bitch about Obama and McCain haven't voted on anything but the Smokeshow brackets.
Rack: Solid, but unremarkable, clean 7
Ass: Better than expected, but again missing something (lift/tone?) 7
Pins: Pretty good, but remember this is a BEAUTY contest, as such the bar is high. 7
Sluttiness: Low, too modest a suit for my taste. 6
Palin "can see Russia"
— Angieclaire, Sep 29 2008, 1:20 pm
????
Are you talking about the Bering Strait?
maybe there is a special election Smokeshow bracket in our future?....McCain/Palin vs. Obabma/Biden?
dont know if you need a whole bracket for that carbo
The funniest part about politics is that every asshole babbles about it, but barely anyone votes.
I bet half you motherfuckers who bitch about Obama and McCain haven't voted on anything but the Smokeshow brackets.
— ThunderJohnson, Sep 29 2008, 1:28 pm
So true, but because Bush was such a fuckstick the past 8 years, maybe people will actually vote this time around.
if that is our next VEEP we will have lost all credibility with the rest of the world.........and thats a serious fall from our current all time lows with George W. at the helm....
Bush may be a fuckstick but we wouldn't have half the problems we do now if Clinton was tooling around the white house trying to be everyone's pal.
"So true, but because Bush was such a fuckstick the past 8 years, maybe people will actually vote this time around."
It really doesn't matter whether people vote. John McCain will be our next president. Mortal lock.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marty-kaplan/why-the-debates-wont-matt_b_130104.html
Bush may be a fuckstick but we wouldn't have half the problems we do now if Clinton was tooling around the white house trying to be everyone's pal.
— Butterbean, Sep 29 2008, 1:41 pm
Exactly dumbass, we wouldn't have half of the problems we have now if Clinton was in the White House.
What was your point exactly?
jesus she looks about as comfortable in that video as she did during the couric interview.
blah blah blah...OH! and its gotta be aboot job creation...blah blah blah
She's certainly energized my conservative base.
2 weeks late posting that.
Bush 4 Life. 4 MORE YEARS!! 4 MORE YEARS!!!! 4 MORE YEARS!!!!!!
Not just yours, Jerry:
oh yes, oh yes I would....
I don't care what side of politcs you are on, thank god it wasn't Hillary up there.
Governor Palin is the BOMB and she is going to be the best VP ever.
She's tough, a pro-drilling, pro-business, less government, fiscal conservcative Hockey Mom mother of five with real human issues in her life. She is tough as nails and would totally rip your f%$ckin' head off and spit down your neck. All you tree-hugging, spotted own kissing payroll patriot pencil-necked limousine liberals are on notice.
And yes, she's got a gun...
eddiefinn,
That is possibly the best paragraph that has ever been written on this site. Sir, I congratulate you. You forgot to include 'weekend socialists'; 'chardonnay socialists' and gays (not that this anything wrong in that :-(
That's the prob;em with America nowadays. You can a fag at the bar but you have to go outside for a smoke.
Thank you, G.
Post Your Comments
Login to post your comments.
If you're not registered on the message board already, you can register here.
Broncos Fan Slaps Souvenir Away From Chiefs Fan
So I was watching the Chiefs beat the Broncos yesterday and noticed this play in the crowd. Now I’m not even sure whether you get to keep footballs in the NFL, but still I’d be fucking furious if somebody did this to me. I mean that guy wasn’t even trying to catch it. He just slapped that shit away like he was Ronnie Lippett or something. It was a total dick move. I don’t care that it was a Broncos fan vs. a Chiefs fan. He still deserves to get his face smashed in if you ask me. I’m curious whether people agree with me or not.
Vote 1 for the guy did nothing wrong and 10 for he deserves to get punched in the face.
Beckett Pushed Back To Game 3 (UPDATE - THIS BLOG MAKES NO SENSE)
I’m not going to lie to you. I didn’t even know that Beckett hurt himself until like two seconds ago. I didn’t watch one second of the Red Sox this weekend. It was all football all the time. So upon hearing the news I immediately dropped everything I was doing and rushed to Dunkin Donuts to get the brain going and figure out what this means. And after a couple sips of caffeine I decided it doesn’t matter at all. At least not for the first series. As long as Beckett will be fine for Game 3 like the Sox are saying he will be then I’m not worried. Why? Because only one guy can pitch twice in the first series anyway and I have just as much confidence in Jon Lester as I do Beckett. I know that may sound like crazy talk, but it really isn’t. Lester is that good. Now obviously if this oblique strain keeps Beckett out for the entire playoffs then we're fucked. Because we can’t win the World Series without him. But I don’t think Francona would have slotted him to pitch game 3 if they weren’t confident he’d be fine by then. It just doesn’t seem like their style. So at this point I don’t think the injury matters that much and I’m not going to lose any sleep over him being pushed back. Especially since I haven’t slept all weekend from getting crushed in gambling to begin with. Nice goal line stand last night by Chicago. I’ll be having nightmares about that for the next month or two.
UPDATE - The above blog makes no sense. Pushing Beckett back to game 3 is a big fucking deal because both he and Lester actually would have been able to pitch twice on full rest because the idiot Angels picked the playoff rotation. Did they know Beckett was hurt or something when they made that decision? They had to right? I mean why would you ever choose to let both Beckett and Lester pitch twice in a 5 game series? You might as well just forfeit. But now they look like geniuses and I look like an idiot for my original blog. Bottomline is if this series goes to 5 games we'll have Dice K on the mound in Anaheim instead of Lester. Not good.
Man Tries To Kill His Mother To Help Pay For His Girlfriend's Boob Job
(Would you kill your mother so you can buy this chick a new rack?)
FOUNTAIN (AP) - Police say a teen solicited two men to kill his mother so he could sell her car and use her bank account to get breast implants for his girlfriend. Authorities say the mother, Hyun Weis, was attacked with a small wooden baseball bat at her home Thursday but escaped. She was hospitalized and then released Friday. The nature of her injuries hasn't been disclosed. Deputy Police Chief Mike Barnett said 18-year-old Nikita Lee Weis was arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit first-degree murder.
Authorities say Nikita Weis also wanted money to pay his rent. Also arrested on the same charge were his girlfriend, 21-year-old Sophia Nicole Alsept, and the two men he allegedly hired, 18-year-old Juan Antonio Velez Gonzalez and 19-year-old Brandon Michael Soroka.
Listen we’ve all been here. I mean who hasn’t thought of killing their parents to help pay for their girlfriend's boob job before? But the problem is how do you enjoy touching them and sticking your dick between them if you murdered your mother to get them? I mean it’s just a total mood killer. Seriously if that doesn’t give you the limp dick when you’re hooking up than nothing will. So sure it sound like a great idea on the outside, but practically speaking you’re probably better off trying to rob a bank or something.
Get Your Limited Edition Red Sox 2008 AL Wild Card 24KT Gold Coin And Other Wildcard Shit! Going Fast!
Redsox.com - Highland Mint Boston Red Sox 2008 AL Wild Card 24KT Gold Coin
Item No: 3267715
$19.99
- The Highland Mint painstakingly minted a 24KT Gold overlay Coin commemorating the 2008 American League Wild Card Team!
- Each coin measures 1.5"" in diameter, is individually numbered on the edge and accompanied by a Certificate of Authenticity.
- Limited Edition of only 5000.
Wait a minute! They only made 5,000 of these things? I better hurry the fuck the up then! I mean I'll never forgive myself if I get shut out trying to buy this one of a kind collectors item. Seriously what do you think the over/under on how many of these things they sold is? One? I'm taking the under. I just don't understand why they sell all this wildcard shit? Because I absolutely refuse to believe anybody is dumb enough to buy this crap. I mean maybe in LA, Tampa Bay or NY where people are just happy to make the playoffs, but not in Title Town USA. It's championship or bust every year and the same goes with buying paraphernalia.
Palin doesn't know her vag from a hole in the ground. At least she's good looking though. Maybe better now than back in the day?...Hmm