You don't see us reviewing a lot of books here at the 'Stool because... well, because reading books takes a lot of time and effort and these blogs don't write themselves. Plus we're not Dan Shaughnessy with dozens of colleagues who've written books we need to hype so they'll write something nice on the dust jacket of our next unreadable waste of paper. But every once in a while a book comes along that makes book reading worthwhile, because it's filled with all the things that are important in life: football, sex, violence and Charles Haley flinging poop at one of his coaches.

The book is called "Boys Will Be Boys" by Jeff Pearlman, and it tells the inside story of the Dallas Cowboys championship teams of the early '90's. Kissing Suzy Kolber lists some of the highlights:

• Michael Irvin once wanted his haircut by the team barber. When Everett McIver wouldn't get out of the chair, Irvin did what any reasonable teammate would do, yelled “Seniority! Seniority! Seniority! Punk, get the fuck out of my chair!” and stabbed McIver in the neck with scissors.
• Irvin bankrolled a 'Boys charity basketball team called the Hoopsters as an excuse to get guys away from their wives and onto a private jet where they'd bang women of Irvin's choosing.
• Haley (who I once heard Fred Smerlas describe as the most despicable person and filthiest racist he's ever met) once bugged Scott Case in a meeting by saying “Scott, turn around, I gotta show you something… Scott, dammit, turn around! You need to see this!” and when Case turned around, Haley had slung his massive penis across his desk.
• Haley cut a hole in the roof of Tim Haris' BMW and peed in it.
• At another meeting, Haley came out of the bathroom, dropped his pants, wiped his ass and threw the crappy toilet paper at his LB coach.
• The Cowboys held position meetings in strip joints and they gave specific instructions to American Airlines that they only be assigned hot stewardi.

This only scratches the surface. I can't imagine this book isn't full of dozens, scores, hundreds of gems like these. In a way it's kind of sad. Not that I liked those Cowboys teams, on the contrary I hated them with every fiber of my being. But you read this stuff and you realize that days like those and teams like them are long since gone. At a time when most of the women I know resent Tom Brady for going out with a millionaire model or will never forgive Jason Varitek and Bill Belichick for leaving their wives, you can pretty much be certain no one will sit still while an organization has Mile High Club orgies as team building excercises ever again.