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September 12, 2008

Random Thoughts


Matt Cassel Vs. Kelly Washington Dance Off

 

All I can say is that the Jets are fucked!

— elpresidente, 6:28 pm | permalink | 22 comments


The Pats Pity Party Is Over


(The greatest movie scene ever on the subject of dealing with a teammate who's been brutally injured...)

I admit I felt sorry for myself in the wake of Brady's injury. I layed around and wallowed in my own misery and said the war is over because Bernard Pollard dropped the Big One. But not anymore. The rest of the football world smells blood in the water, beginning with the Jets and their vile lowlife fans who were cheering at the ESPN Zone in NY when the TV showed Brady writhing in pain. Now they're all looking at the Pats like hyenas eyeing a wounded gazelle. For the first time in a long time the Pats go into a game as actual underdogs, and I'm honestly looking forward to the chance to watch them wipe the smug smile off their plug-ugly faces.

This is a crisis, I'll grant you that. But they say the Chinese symbol for "crisis" is made up of two other symbols: "danger" and "opportunity." And the one good thing to come out of this crisis is the opportunity for the Pats to go back to what made them great in the first place: being the plucky underdog that no one respects. Minutes after they lost The Bowl That Shall Not Be Named, my cousin Phil made the point that the 2007 Pats weren't his favorite Pats team ever. That he preferred the '03 team that got devastated by injuries, got disrespected by all, got great contributions from all 53 guys and won a championship with gritty teamwork and clutch plays. I sort of dismisssed it at the time as him trying to put a shine on a sneaker, but he had a point. It's easier to get behind a team that no one expects to win as opposed to rooting for the NFL's version of the '27 Yankees. To hear Rodney Harrison play the "No Respect" card again. To see the Pats so blood thirsty for revenge that they to go all out with a really futile and stupid gesture. And they're just the guys to do it. Favre is a dead man! Faneca, dead! Mangini DEAD!

— Jerry Thornton, 5:03 pm | permalink | 40 comments


Caption Contest

hogan

 

"What are you going to do when the 24 foot love handles run wild on you!"

 

- Thanks to Andy for the pic.

— elpresidente, 4:30 pm | permalink | 29 comments


Scientist Invents a Way to Save Your Lunch From Thieves

 

Tampa: Do you have a problem with your co-workers snagging your lunch from the officer refrigerator? Now there's a new lunch bag that some say will keep the hungriest thief away from your grub. It's a lunch bag with mold. Actually, it's a ziplock bag with a pattern that looks like mold. The designer is New York-based Sherwood Forlee who is actually a trained mechanical and aerospace engineer.

It's time to officially close down the balloting and give the Nobel Prize for Science to Sherwood Forlee. Or maybe for Peace for ending all the intra-office fighting caused by Lunch Thieves. Or give him an Oscar or an ESPY... anything, because this is a brilliant idea. Lunch Thievery is the most under reported crime in America. If the FBI bothered to keep statistics on it... and they should... I wouldn't be surprised if they found out that 97% of all American workers have been the victim of Lunch Thievery. The inner circle of hell will be filled with those who have swiped a co-worker's leftover chicken parm, right next to the betrayers and the sodomites.

Still, as good an idea as this is, I'm going to recommend my approach, which not only costs nothing, it's full proof. When I was the victim of a Lunch Thief pilfering my stuff out of the fridge, I put a note on the Tupperware that said "I hock a loogie into my food everyday" and one on my Diet Pepsi that said "I rubbed this can on my nuts." Problem solved. Barstool Sports: saving the world one container of homemade chili at time.

— Jerry Thornton, 3:57 pm | permalink | 14 comments


Giant Fans Are Sad And Pathetic

ny

 

(Is this the editor of the Globe's car?)

 

You know what? I take all this shit as a compliment. The 18-1 license plates, the tshirts celebrating Tom Brady's injury, the spygate controversy, all of it. Because it just proves how much we really dominate the NFL. Seriously does anybody besides Giants fans even know who won the Superbowl last year? Probably not. All people know is that we didn't win it and that's the way it should be. Regardless of whether we win or lose we're always the #1 story not only in the NFL, but in the world. Seriously I don't even think the league would exist without us. In fact I'd go as far to say that if you asked every GM in the NFL whether they'd rather win the Superbowl or beat us in a regular season game they'd probably choose to beat us. It's almost like the Superbowl doesn't even count unless we're in it. So go ahead and keep buying anti Patriot shit because it just proves how dominant we really are. Just remember everybody hates us because they want to be us.

 

- Thanks to Gerry for the pic

— elpresidente, 1:32 pm | permalink | 88 comments


I Don't Get This Sign

tbs

(Taken from Times Square Yesterday by Stoolie Dan)

 

Ok I understand that TBS is advertising post season baseball, but what I don't understand is why Derek Jeter and John Smoltz is on this thing. I mean both these teams haven't been in the playoff race since the 4th of July. Imagine seeing this thing hanging in Kenmore Square if the Red Sox were 30 games out? I'd kill somebody. Hmm on second thought maybe this is TBS's way of sneaky sticking it to obnoxious non blogging Yankee fans like Manzo? If so carry on.

— elpresidente, 1:20 pm | permalink | 33 comments

There's only ONE OCTOOOOOOOOOOBER!

CptKangarooBalls, Sep 12 2008, 3:24 pm

Next Tuesday is Star Wars night at Yankee Stadium. What a bunch of ass clowns. light saber kid throwing out the first pitch. Have fun with that while the sox go for the pennant.

Cake Fart, Sep 12 2008, 3:25 pm

more than laughable. stupid new yorkers. what's even better is that in the very last year of the old yankee stadium they won't even make the postseason, something that hasn't happened in god knows how long

jbk427, Sep 12 2008, 3:25 pm

turner broadcasting had to have one of their own up their, and stupid new yorkers would shit a brick if jeter wasnt everywhere.

dannyt, Sep 12 2008, 3:26 pm

as long as theirs no Dane Cook involved then its all good

Dimitri The Stud, Sep 12 2008, 3:28 pm

Hells yeah baby, a new crop of "FrankTV" teasers shown every half-inning!

lil jon maldives, Sep 12 2008, 3:28 pm

The poster is up so people in New York have something else to laugh at besides Donald Trunp's comb over.

GIZhou, Sep 12 2008, 3:29 pm

Pres is a genius

he knows he picked up a bunch of new yorkers over the past week and he's exploiting it. look at all the new advertising

new york sucks

JulioPoogo, Sep 12 2008, 3:31 pm

I agree Dimitri, last year that no talent ass clown was on every commercial break. Can you say overrated?

LongWong, Sep 12 2008, 3:31 pm

Correction from last years advertisements, per TBS:

NY Yankee Baseball at the Stadium: This is the LAST October

papelboner, Sep 12 2008, 3:31 pm

i'd be suprised if NY "fans" even knew the Yankees were not going to make the playoffs. Those people don't pay attention to things like the standings. They just get dressed up and accept free tickets.

mark, Sep 12 2008, 3:32 pm

Not to mention the fact that John Smoltz underwent shoulder surgery in June and is out for the year (at least)....they're obviously looking for the dolts who only watch baseball in October (though NY is probably the wrong place to do that - Charlotte maybe, NY no). As bad as they are, TBS is still leaps and bounds ahead of Fox...

That's What She Said, Sep 12 2008, 3:38 pm

i'd be suprised if NY "fans" even knew the Yankees were not going to make the playoffs. Those people don't pay attention to things like the standings. They just get dressed up and accept free tickets.

— mark, Sep 12 2008, 3:32 pm

laughable

Unknown Soldier, Sep 12 2008, 3:46 pm

TBS = the worst part of postseason

deez, Sep 12 2008, 3:47 pm

your grammar sucks you pantysniffer

bostonissports, Sep 12 2008, 3:48 pm

Next Tuesday is Star Wars night at Yankee Stadium. What a bunch of ass clowns. light saber kid throwing out the first pitch. Have fun with that while the sox go for the pennant.
— Cake Fart, Sep 12 2008, 3:25 pm

As much as I hate to disagree with something that makes the Yankees gay, that Star Wars crap is actually going to be all over MLB. Check out the info for the game next Tuesday in Tampa (http://boston.redsox.mlb.com/schedule/index.jsp?c_id=bos).

B, Sep 12 2008, 3:48 pm
B, Sep 12 2008, 3:49 pm

Old Don Orsillo is calling one of the NL series'

bradymancrush, Sep 12 2008, 3:50 pm

Is that Tim Tuffle on the far right?

Vince Clorthow, Sep 12 2008, 3:50 pm

I see nothing wrong with the poster, you have 2 playoff players and 2 guys doing a little color commentary during the playoffs.

ricostl, Sep 12 2008, 3:51 pm

Kenmore Square is a shithole headlined by a McDonald's, Bertuccis, and Sovereign Bank. Times Square is the media capital of the world.

WhatAJoke2, Sep 12 2008, 3:56 pm

Correction from last years advertisements, per TBS:

NY Yankee Baseball at the Stadium: This is the LAST October
— papelboner, Sep 12 2008, 3:31 pm

can't be, braves didn't make the playoffs and Mets sucked the biggest dick of all time coming down the stretch.

fingerbang, Sep 12 2008, 3:56 pm

David Wright is a piece of ass, thats right, I said it.

Albany1, Sep 12 2008, 4:03 pm

--Next Tuesday is Star Wars night at Yankee Stadium. What a bunch of ass clowns. light saber kid throwing out the first pitch. Have fun with that while the sox go for the pennant.
— Cake Fart, Sep 12 2008, 3:25 pm--

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2226/2184534787_b2b4c23c0c_o.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/55/106730786_8a4ee2f7fa.jpg?v=0

bosstone, Sep 12 2008, 4:19 pm

David Wright is a piece of ass, thats right, I said it.

— Albany1, Sep 12 2008, 4:03 pm

We are cool with that statement. We aways knew that New Yorkers suck cock and love to rim and you just confirmed it.

GIZhou, Sep 12 2008, 4:27 pm

The Reason they put them on there is:

A: Braves used to be on TBS.
B. Red Sox are the defending champs
C. Both New York teams for new york.

I no it looks stupid now but a lot of planning goes in to that.

StoolSample, Sep 12 2008, 4:36 pm

Stool Sample is probably right. That and there's more than likely a marketing contract involved where Jeter, Smoltz, Ortiz etc are already signed on as the face of MLB. Ever see the Sirius commercials? Why else would Jeter and Ortiz agree to perform together.

Whitey Bulger, Sep 12 2008, 5:00 pm

...And that's a great example why FOX has exclusive World Series broadcasting rights.

sportschick, Sep 12 2008, 5:32 pm

GIZhou, I'm no fagola, but I do love the Mets and am not afraid to say that David Wright is a handsome devil...beat the rays fucko.

Albany1, Sep 12 2008, 6:56 pm

TBS is running a different set of commercials in NYC. " There is NO OCTOBER!"

HAHAHAHA - YEAR 2000! Clap clap clap clap clap!

King34, Sep 12 2008, 7:18 pm

all you faggot fucks make me laugh...talk about envy...when your hanging 27 or more WSC banners then you can say you have a dynasty...my GOD, you all are pathetic...

Yankeefanforever, Sep 12 2008, 9:54 pm

sorry. Bad link

http://boston.redsox.mlb.com/schedule/index.jsp?c_id=bos

— B, Sep 12 2008, 3:49 pm

Is Darth Vader really going to the game? Or will it be the ghost of Anakin? And if it's the ghost, will it be the real one from 'Jedi' or the bull$hit one that got CGId in? Fucking Lucas.


I usually don't bother with the tired NY vs.BOS idiocy. However, every once in awhile something so stupid is written, it gets called out:

Kenmore Square is a shithole headlined by a McDonald's, Bertuccis, and Sovereign Bank. Times Square is the media capital of the world.

— WhatAJoke2, Sep 12 2008, 3:56 pm

And your point is? Times Square isn't even in the same fucking borough as Yankee Stadium. And at least if you were to get chased out of Fenway Park, you'll end up that 'shithole' Kenmore Sq. Get chased out of the Stadium and you take your life in your hands. And what exactly makes Times Square the media capital of the world? The billboards? The newsticker? TRL?


rearadmiral, Sep 12 2008, 10:31 pm

Smoltz works for TBS in the postseason.

OleMissRebel, Sep 14 2008, 8:27 am

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Guess That Ass

— elpresidente, 12:46 pm | permalink | 25 comments


World's Worst Playground

 

Can you tell it's Friday? And no I wouldn't ever let me kid shoot out of the tip of a penis like he's a piece of cum.

— elpresidente, 12:09 pm | permalink | 18 comments


Razor Ramon Is Still Rocking The Front Rat Tail

Say whatever you want about Razor Ramon but you kind of got to respect that he is still rocking the front rat tail after all these years.

 

razor

Razor

— elpresidente, 11:17 am | permalink | 39 comments


Superhead Says Eddie Winslow From Family Matters Loves Them Ass Beads

eddie

 

 

Yup that chick in the video doing the talking is none other than Superhead herself, Karrine Steffans. Apparently she always does shit like this. Just check her out punking poor Bobby Brown who was passed out sleeping on her couch. So why would guys continue to hook up with her? I think the name speaks for itself don't you? Because when it comes to getting some Superhead it's tough to think straight.

— elpresidente, 10:36 am | permalink | 19 comments


High School Baseball Brawl

 

There is a word for the team in purple. I believe it's called pussies. I mean the opposing catcher just tagged out your teammate and celebrated by spiking his mask off his face and only 3 guys seemed like they were really ready to go to war about it. Everybody else was like #13 whose dick shriveled up in his hand. Bottom line is that this brawl shouldn't have ended until the catcher was taken out in a body bag. Seriously where is Izzy Alcantara when you need him? He would have been smashing bats over peoples heads like it was going out of style.

— elpresidente, 9:51 am | permalink | 40 comments