Random Thoughts

NYPost.com - On his radio appearance today, the injured Red Sox pitcher blasted New York fans for their joy over Brady's impending knee surgery. "The euphoria in New York is palpable," Schilling said. "The New York Yankees suck this year and they are bitter and mad and making excuses over that. Now they got Tom going down so New York's excited. It's unfortunate, but when you crawl to the top of the pile you will have people trying to knock you down." Schilling then praised the fans of Boston, who have long been known for respecting the Yankees and rooting for nothing but good health for their stars.  "They want us to be as bitter and mad as they are," Schilling said. "Unfortunately, it's not going to happen."  "The sad part is going to be when they beat the Jets next week," Schilling said. "Then they are going to come up with something else."  "If Bill Belichick trusts Matt Cassel, how the hell can you not?" "I don't care if you guys haven't seen him," Schilling told the hosts. "Bill Belichick has seen him. Do you really think that he is the genius everyone claims him to be and just a rock head when it comes to his backup quarterback? Given how deep and intricate their offense is, I feel like the second he thought he didn't have a capable backup quarterback, he would have gone out and got a new one."

Listen you can say whatever you want about Curt Schilling, but when you’re right you’re right.   The Yankees do suck.   New Yorkers are happy Brady got injured.    Boston fans are better than NY fans.   Bill Belichick is a genius.   Matt Cassel is the next Joe Montana.  Kobe Bryant is a selfish player.   Dan Shaughnessy is the antichrist.  I mean sometimes regardless of what side you’re on you just got to tip your cap and be like “the guy has a point.”    And this is one of those times.

Introducing Alyssa from UMass. I've seen a lot of hot Halloween costumes in my day but this may be my favorite. I don't even know why. It just does it for me.

We've had a major slowdown in Smokeshows lately. Frankly it's pretty sad that I even have to remind people to send in nominations but here we go again. Do your duty and send all hotties to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com. Because if you don't this feature will die and you'll have nobody to blame but yourself.

Click for more of Alyssa

Click for the unedited version

What in the wide, wide world a sports is a' going on with Vince Young? In the last three days:

• He got all pouty-faced after getting booed for throwing two picks Sunday. People who witnessed it said he seemed to be emotionally checked out of the game and appeared unwilling to go back on the field.
• After a three-and-out by the Tennessee defense, the offense took the field, only without their QB. “I came on the field and 10 wasn’t in the huddle. I didn’t know what the situation was,” said center Kevin Mawae.
• Jeff Fisher then began yelling at Young on the sidelines and it looked like he practically shoved Young into the huddle.
• After the game Fisher told reporters Young told him his hamstring was bothering him (he never told the trainers) and that's all their conversation was about.
• Three plays later, Young left with a knee injury, stuck around for an hour after the game and left without answering questions.
• Monday night, Fisher called the Nashville police over concerns that Young was emotionally distraught and might hurt himself. The cops found him in his car with an unloaded pistol in the glovie.
• Today the Titans issued this statement: “Last night, we received a call from people that are closest to Vince informing us that he had left his house in a state of mind that had them concerned; and that he was unreachable..."
• Now Young's agent is saying that everything is super swell. Young was on his way to a buddy's house to watch MNF, nothing more to be seen here, folks, let's all go home citizens.

What the hell is that all about? Right now no one knows whether Young has serious mental problems, can't handle having mean things yelled at him from the stands, or if he was just on his way to watch Mike, Mike & Mike call the Denver-Oakland game. I do know this: It's times like this that reminds me of all that is good about rooting for the Patriots. Vince Young goes out for a few weeks with a knee injury and Jeff Fisher... who's the longest-tenured coach in the NFL... finds himself presiding over a media circus that makes the Terrell Owens suicide attempt saga look like C-SPAN. Meanwhile, the Pats lose Pigskin Jesus for the year, he walks off the field battered but proud like Marlon Brando at the end of "On the Waterfront" and he and Belichick will only say how it's a tough break, but they're looking forward to seeing how the boys respond the rest of the year. That's how a champion deals with adversity. Apparently Young's Wonderlic score got it right.

"Don't act like you don't like it honey. You're nails are digging in so deep it's like you're trying to will this guy to fuck you."

- Thanks to Jon for the pick

Believemerch - Bernard Karmell Pollard (born December 23, 1984 in Fort Wayne, Indiana) is an American football safety for the Kansas City Chiefs in the National Football League. He was drafted in the second round of the 2006 NFL Draft. Pollard played college football at Purdue University. Pollard has been dubbed "The Bonecrusher" for his hard hits and tackles. On September 7, 2008, Pollard was involved in a play that ended with New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady being taken off the field with a knee injury and not returning for the rest of the game. It was later revealed that Pollard's hit on Brady most likely has ended the quarterback's season.

Honestly people always say I'm exaggerating when I talk about how the rest of the country is so jealous of us and how they hate us because they want to be us. Well the proof is in the pudding. I'm not even remotely surprised that people would sink this low and make tshirts celebrating Tom Brady's injury. And guess what? It will probably be a best seller. Again it's just sad and pathetic. But I wouldn't expect anything else from Steeler fans. Listen you didn't see me making "I wish he died" Ben Roethlisberger tshirts after he crashed his motorcycle did you? Nope. The difference is Pats fans have class and the rest of the country doesn't. I just hope God teaches everybody who buys this shirt a lesson and kills them and their family within 24 hours of purchase in some type of freak agonizing accident. Like a shark eats them in the middle of the street or something crazy like that.

- Kissing Suzy Kolber

Wait a minute the Pats are underdogs this week against the Jets?  BAHAHAHAH!   I may enjoy this season after all!   Seriously how quickly everybody forgets that we are a dynasty.   I mean anybody who knows anything about life, knows that the Patriots play their best when their backs are against a wall and everybody doubts them.  In fact I wouldn’t put it past Brady and Belichick to have planned that season ending injury just to light a fire under everybody’s ass.   Because all we heard about all off season was the “Superbowl hangover.”    Well now everybody in that locker room has something prove including me.  Yup, it’s time to go back to old school Patriot football.  Swing passes, clock management, coaching, defense, special teams and world championships.  That’s what we do here!  So get ready for the Pats to give the rest of the country the biggest FU of all time as we defy the odds and win our 4^th Superbowl this decade.  I love it!   And it all starts this week with the El Pres Quadruple Mortal Lock.   Book it!

Pats +2.5 Over Jets

This bull is a total bad ass. I mean anybody can buck a cowboy off in the ring, but to knock them out before they even open the gates? That's just cold blooded. I guess that's how you earn the name "The Cadillac Man." Regardless this cowboy is still kind of joke. I mean dude pay attention. You're not sitting on some fucking donkey at a petting zoo. You're on the Cadillac Man for god sakes. Act like it.

Bam!

ESPN.com - There's the "agony of defeat." And then there's this women's ice hockey score from the European Olympic pre-qualifying tournament: Slovakia 82, Bulgaria 0.  That's correct: eighty-two goals for Slovakia, none for Bulgaria. Slovakia, which won all four of its games at the tournament, outshot Bulgaria 139-0, scoring on 58.9 percent of their shots on goal. They averaged one goal every 44 seconds.  Bulgaria trailed 7-0 after 5 minutes, 19-0 after 10 and 31-0 at the end of the first period. The drubbing capped a woeful showing for the Bulgarian women, who also lost 30-1 to Croatia and 41-0 to Italy in earlier games.

Listen it’s tough to point the finger at one person when you lose 82-0 in hockey.  But having said that I got to pin this loss solely on the goalie.   Honestly how do you let in 58% of the shots on net?  You can’t win that way in Street Hockey, Mini One on One, the NHL and certainly not in the European Olympic pre qualifying tournament.    Sure you can argue that it’s tough to win as well when you get zero shots on goal, but I’m guessing that everybody was so demoralized with the goalie play that they just stopped trying.   I mean stick a fat bitch in pads and have her fall asleep in the crease and you’re going to save more than 50% of the shots on goal.    Regardless I’m sure this game will be referenced in hockey locker rooms all across America from now on.  “Put pucks on net and good things will happen.   Just look at Slovakia’s 82-0 victory over Bulgaria.”

So my good friends at Miller Lite invited me to play in a Playboy Golf tournament yesterday at Wedgewood Pines in Stowe.    So naturally I dropped everything I was doing and went.   And thank God I did because I wouldn’t have believed this outfit could exist on a golf course if I didn’t see it with my own two eyes.    Now to this guy's defense this is a collared shirt and I don't think there is anything in the rulebook about no sleeves. Still it was pretty amazing. My only regret is that I couldn’t get my video camera to work because I swear this guy was techno dancing through 18 holes of golf.       I guess we’ll just have to settle for pictures.  Anyway time to rate this golf outfit…

1 for the worst thing you’ve ever seen and 10 for it’s so bad it’s good.

Telegrah.com - The Indian midget who shot to fame as the world's smallest bodybuilder is set for a Hollywood career after being signed up by a leading US talent agent. Chuck Harris, who represents over 10,000 of the world's most unusual acts, flew Aditya "Romeo" Dev to his LA mansion after a Telegraph.co.uk article about him became an internet sensation. "Most of my dreams were fulfilled in one journey. I never thought I would get to see America and fly on the plane," he said. "I flew on a plane and saw the ocean. There were amazing sky-scrapers in the US and no congestion on roads like in Punjab. Everything was so organised. "The hotels were amazing with spacious rooms and modern amenities. I haven't seen such luxury in my life. I am so happy."  "I always dreamed of dancing in front of crowds of white girls – I did that, so I think my dreams have come true," he said.

It’s good to see that even little dwarf body builders from continents far, far away share the same dreams and goals as kids who grow up in America.  I mean black, white, Indian, Hispanic etc, what little boy doesn’t dream of dancing in front of crowds of white girls as a child?    And yes I’m just assuming that “dancing in front of crowds of white girls” is code for “getting some white pussy”    I mean is there any doubt this midget got laid?   After all everybody knows that American chicks love muscle heads. 

As a side note, I’m kind of surprised that the traffic is worse in Punjab than in LA.    I would have bet my life that it was the exact opposite.  Oh well, live and learn.  Remind me not to go on my honeymoon there.

The funny thing is that I was actually watching this game when they showed the closeup of this couple and I didn't even notice that they were playing dick music. And not only that but Bob Davie was talking about how the chick must hate this guy for not buying a ticket and making her sit on the rock. Shows you what he knows. This guy got a hand job, watched some football, beat the traffic and probably made her cook dinner afterwords. Not a bad night at the office.

There's 15 games to go and I for one refuse to don the jogging suit and Nikes, drink the cyanide, lay down and wait for the UFO to come. Sure the Pats have lost THE most important player in all of team sports, but this thing can still happen. Stranger things have. I've said it before and I'll say it now: "The cemeteries are full of indispensible people." It wasn't over when the Pats lost Bledsoe. Or when the Sox traded Nomar. Pedro left and they still won. Manny shot his way out of town and the Sox have played better. Winning a championship minus your franchise guy is an improbability, not an impossibility. It won't take a miracle, it will take:

Matt Cassel becomes Jeff Hostetler. Or Trent Dilfer. The Pats don't need Cassel to carry them; they just need him to be competent and minimize mistakes. No one would turn their nose up at 50 TDs, but reasonably low number of INTs will be much more important. If he can produce say, 23 TDs and 20 INTs, they'll have a chance. And I didn't just pull those numbers out of my crack. They were... deep breath... Eli Manning's last year.

The Pats defense becomes the Pats defense. Of 2003. It's been a long time since the Pats have had a truly dominating defense. In '03, they were relentless. They had three shutouts at home. They were a garbage time Jacksonville TD away from keeping teams out of the endzone for six straight home games. This year they've gotten younger, faster and brought in Dom Capers to coach the secondary.

Josh McDaniels becomes Charlie Weis. It would be a stretch to ask Cassel to air it out like Brady did last year. When Weis's best WRs were Pattens and Branches and Givenses, he specialized in a controlled passing game built on quick outs, crossing routes and screens. Not that he has to baby Cassel, just give him a lot of high percentage throws to get his feet under him. Having Randy Moss around and doinking the ball to him is like having Kate Beckinsale in your house and asking her to clean the toilet.

Laurence Maroney becomes Joseph Addai. Like with Cassel, becoming an LT or an AP, (or anyone initial-worthy) would be swell. But he doesn't need to be an elite back, just a top tier runner like the guy the Colts drafted 9 spots after him in 2006.

Mathew Slater (or anyone else) becomes Troy Brown (on special teams). His clutch catches aside, Brown had a knack for pulling rabbits out of his helmet with big plays when they needed him most. Slater was drafted for one reason: to make a difference on teams and steal the occasional game.

Terence Wheatley and Jonathan Wilhite become Eugene Wilson and Asante Samuel. In 2003, Wilson became a starter and Samuel got significant reps in sub packages as rookies. By '04, they'd won two rings each.

Jerod Mayo becomes Patrick Willis. Willis was the 11th pick last year and the NFL Defensive ROTY on a crappy team. Mayo was taken 10th by the Pats. It's not asking too much.

Kevin Faulk becomes Superman. Cassel will see every type of blitz Defensive Coordinators threw at Brady and plenty more they never had the balls to. Faulk will be the key as the check down option on passing plays and on blitz pick up. That means being on the field, which means listening to Li'l Wayne without the ganja, thanks. It's never been tried, but everyone's got to make sacrifices.

Pats fans have to be Chiefs fans. It's time for the Gillette crowd to drop the sense of entitlement, quit waiting for Brady to save the day, get off their hands and make some goddamned noise for a change.

More Eva here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com