Random Thoughts

Maybe the Yankees aren't dead after all. Tampa Bay is finally starting to fade just like I said they would...

Introducing Kacie from Chicopee. The guy who nominated Kacie was all fired up that we don't give Western MA enough credit when it comes to Smokeshows. Well I always thought Chicopee was on the Cape, but that's neither here nor there. The bottom line is that if this is any indication of what girls from Chicopee look like than I'll pack up and move West.

Keep the Smokeshow nominations coming. Because as a reminder no chick is officially hot in MA till we give them their Smokeshow Knighthood. Also the Smokeshow Brackets will be updated at midnight tonight so don't forget to vote. Send all smokeshow nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

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Dustin Pedroia and the Laser Show do it again with a dramatic 5-4 come from behind victory. It's starting to feel like another World Series Title will be coming our way for sure. We just bunted the shit out of the Orioles in the 9th.

PS - Thank God the Orioles took out their starter

(This is what a guy looks like who has stolen luggage)

ALLEN PARK, Mich. -- Detroit Lions running back Rudi Johnson says his luggage was taken from the team's practice facility by Tatum Bell. Johnson was waived by Cincinnati, met with Lions president Matt Millen on Monday and signed a free-agent contact. During the meeting, his two duffel bags were taken from the team's headquarters. Johnson said Wednesday he was shown surveillance footage Tuesday afternoon that captured the theft and told the Detroit Free Press that Bell looked "suspect" on the video. The empty bags were returned Tuesday evening, but Johnson said he is still missing $200, his ID, credit cards and clothes.  Bell, however, claimed the situation was a misunderstanding. Bell told the Free Press that defensive end Victor DeGrate, whom the Lions released Saturday, had asked Bell to pick up his bags for him. Bell picked up the bags, not realizing they weren't DeGrate's. "They said they got me on film taking the bags. I said, 'If you look on film, I wasn't in no hurry or nothing.' I was just going about my day," he said. "I ain't no thief," Bell told the Free Press. "I ain't never been one, and I ain't never going to be one.""I tried to talk to Rudi yesterday, but he was pretty upset, so I let it go," Bell told the newspaper. "I come to find out the bags weren't whose I thought they was. It was just an honest mistake."

Listen Tatum Bell said he ain’t no thief.  He ain’t never been one and he ain’t never going to be one.  That’s good enough for me.  Plus as he pointed out he wasn’t even hustling when he took the bags.    What type of crook would just lollygag away from the scene of a crime?      But more importantly even if did do this intentionally I don’t blame him.  He just got his ass cut and Rudi Johnson was basically taunting him by leaving his shit out on in the hallway.    I mean if that were me I’d totally steal his stuff or at the very least piss on it.   And per usual the Lions didn’t exactly help the situation.   Every organization knows that when you fire a guy you need to have somebody walk him out the office.  You don’ t let them rummage around and do whatever they want.  That’s how you lose supplies and shit or in this case get your duffle bags stolen.

Boston.com - Think "Swingtown" meets "The Love Boat.'' YOLO Cruises, a Florida start-up, is set to launch its first cruise for swingers April 26. The seven-day voyage, aboard a chartered Carnival Cruise ship, will depart from Tampa and head toward the Western Caribbean with port calls in Grand Cayman, Cozumel, Belize and Roatan, Honduras. Lest you have visions of orgiastic bacchanals sprawled across the Lido Deck (what would Captain Steubing say?), there are rules to the road. Nudity will be restricted to pool, spa tub areas, and special themed parties. Similarly, Acts of Oneness (or twoness or eightness) must be remain in staterooms or designated "playrooms.''  "It's not just about sex,'' says Marlene Brustle, president of YOLO, which stands for You Only Live Once. "We know that some people will just want to watch.''
(Thanks to USA Today's Cruise Log Blog for pointing us to this one.)

Wait a minute.   Sex is restricted to the staterooms or designated playrooms?  What the fuck kind of swingers cruise is this?    Listen you can’t tell swingers where they can and can’t bang.   It’s UnAmerican.   If they want to bang in the pool, dining room, casino, main deck than so be it.      I mean does YOLO want to be the best Swingers Cruise in the world or not?    As a side note, I wonder if you need a partner to sign up for this?  Or can a single dude buy a ticket and just fuck a ton of chicks?   And is it even worth it or are all the chicks old and gross?   I may have to send Manzo to do a Barstool Undercover on this one….

Honestly God couldn't have placed that mound of dirt in a better spot if he tried. I guess that's why he's God...

Boston.com - Mayor Thomas M. Menino will jet away tomorrow to a luxury resort at the foot of the Italian Alps where he will hobnob with the presidents of Israel and Italy, Vice President Dick Cheney, and other world leaders. At the forum billed as a "mini-Davos," after the premier international conference annually held in Switzerland, Menino will participate in a panel Saturday on globalization and, the following day, discuss leadership with global executives." This year's theme is "Intelligence on the World, Europe, and Italy." The mayor is scheduled to depart for Milan tomorrow and will arrive at the conference Friday. On Saturday, Menino is scheduled to participate in a panel discussion about "the role of cities in the current and future world situation."On Sunday, he will meet with young entrepreneurs from around the world in a session about "leadership in a globalized world." In the past, Menino has drawn criticism for taking international trips paid for by outside groups. In 2003, he and his wife traveled to Rome, all expenses paid, for a conference sponsored by the European-American Urological Association. In 2005, they spent five days in Istanbul, courtesy of the International Council of Shopping Centers.

I’ll be the first one to admit that I’ve been critical of Mayor Menino in the past.    At times I’ve felt like a monkey could have run this city better than him.   I mean the DNC was a disaster.   The Big Dig literally killed people.   He threw a parade for Ray Borque after he won the Stanley Cup with the Avalanche.  The Fire Department has scammed the city of millions of dollars on his watch.   He steals my newsracks.  The list goes on and on.  But in hindsight I may have been too hard on him.  I mean after reading this story his job is clearly much more difficult than I ever could have imagined.   I mean how do you balance running a major metropolitan city and the demands of having to travel all over the world for conferences like these?   Because make no mistake about it. You can probably count on one hand how many Mayors in this country would drop everything they are doing at a moments notice and allow themselves to be whisked away to a five star resort in the Italian Alps.  Sure it may seem like this is just another Urological Association boondoggle for the Mayor, but I beg to differ.    I mean where else can Menino learn about cutting edge parade technology or Newsrack legislation?   So tonight if you’re out on the town I suggest doing a toast for our fair Mayor.  For while you will be able to sleep in your own bed tonight Menino will suffer in one of the most exclusive resorts in all the world talking about Entrepreneurship with little Italian boys and girls.  Godspeed Mr. Menino.  Godspeed.

"Once, twice, three times a Lady"

- Thanks to Tyler for the link

Hippie tears are like an exilir to me; like if I could drink them I'd live forever. This is without a doubt most inintentionally funny hippie sob fest I've ever seen. "I want to MOURN! The LOSS of AAAALL! The old GROOOWTH! TREEES! I've SEEEEN!!!" Eric Cartman was right. You've got to do something about a group of hippies like this before they form a drum circle and you end up with a music jam fest four miles across.

Anyway vote 1 for this is real and 10 for fake

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As everybody knows we really don’t talk about politics here at the Stool.  But this Sarah Palin bitch has been DOMINATING the news lately.     Apparently she faked being pregnant so people wouldn’t know her teenage daughter was knocked up and she was going to do it again until a bunch of blogs outed her.  Now her 17 year old daughter has come forward and announced that she’s 5 months pregnant with her boyfriend’s  “I’m just a redneck” baby.   It’s all great stuff.   But to be honest I’m not sure what all this controversy is about.   This family is from Alaska!    What did they think was going to happen?   I mean imagine Maine times a billion and that’s what you got in Alaska.   All you can do there is play pool, get drunk, shoot guns and fuck the shit out of each other.    Seriously Alaska hasn’t seen this much excitement since the New York Rangers came to town.   So obviously the shit is going to hit the fan when you put the national spotlight on them.   And as much as I hate the Republicans I kind of want McCain to get elected just so I can follow Sarah Palin.  It will be complete chaos in Washington.  I mean if you don’t think that McCain and Palin will be playing Sexy POW games in the White House within two weeks of taking over you’re nuts.

Mr-Perfect.com -- Finally, the details for the much-anticipated "The Life and Times of Mr. Perfect" DVD have been released.  This two disc set can be ordered at WWEShop.com , Silvervision.co.uk and Amazon.com .  Make sure you have ordered the perfect addition to your DVD collection! ...Loved by fans and friends alike, Mr. Perfect entertained in and out of the ring, earning him the honour of induction into the WWE Hall of Fame. This two-disc set relives his life and career, from his early start as a second-generation star through AWA, WWE, and WCW. Some of his greatest matches and vignettes are included. Who was this man? Here’s a hint… he was absolutely “perfect”.

Well it’s never too late to start your Ramadan shopping and what better way to begin than buying the one and only “Mr. Perfect” DVD for your friend, loved one or Buddy Who Is Obsessed With Mr. Perfect.  Now everybody knows Mr. Perfect was not only the greatest wrestler who ever lived but also the greatest pool player, quarterback, horse shoe thrower, bowler, softball player and every other sport you could possibly think of.  I’ve been saying throughout the summer Olympics that Michael Phelps’ records should all have asterisks next to them because Mr. Perfect wasn’t around to challenge them.  (He’s been dead for 5 years.)  Nonetheless, while this might not be the “perfect” DVD that New England fans were hoping for this Holiday season, but let's be honest - I've never seen Tom Brady complete a 90 yard pass to himself.

Thanks to BA5 for the tip...

I fucking love Pedroia. The guy who said he was better than Remy didn't even know how to respond when Pedroia said Remy sucked. He just kept on going like he Dustin said "Thank You" or something.

- Thanks to Red Sox Monster for the tip

PS - This shirt will be available for sale late today or tomorrow. I can't decide whether we should put "Supedroia" on the front and the sheild on the back or keep it this way. Now cue all the idiots who say every idea I have sucks dick.

So typical. Poor little kids trying to have fun on the Moonwalk at a Birthday Party and some fat chick has to fall down and break the entire thing. So selfish. Lose some weight bitch!

PS - Was that Janice laughing in the background? I'm pretty sure it was. I'd recognize that diabolical laugh anywhere. Judge for yourself....

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(Send wake up nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com)