ALBANY - A married upstate assemblyman got caught with his virtual pants down - busted by XXX-rated e-mails he dashed off to a 19-year-old intern in which the besotted lawmaker admired the teen's "little cheerleader move" and longed to be her "human lollipop."  Titled "what i wish," the Democratic assemblyman's list included: ". . . that i could be painting your toenails right now . . . that i could see you do that little cheerleader move . . . that i could be your human lollipop . . . that i could take a shower in your shower with all that girly stuff." "It was even better for me," one March 2004 shorthand e-mail from Hoyt reads. "ty [thank you] for doing the bikini walk. i thought to myself as others were checking you out, she woke up next to me this morning!"  The e-mails suggest the affair began in late 2003 and fell apart in June 2004, when the intern, who is assigned to another upstate lawmaker, accused Hoyt of cheating on her. "How many girls do you have exactly???," the intern wrote. "I hate you. I knew you were lying, but I was so stupid . . . you scumbag . . . f--- off . . . leave me alone and go be with your other girlfriends."

I love the balls on this 19 year old chick standing up to this guy.   How dare Hoyt cheat on her and ruin their monogamous relationship!   Oh wait a minute, the dude is married.   Never mind.  Anyways you know why politicians always get bagged cheating on their wives?  Because 99% of them were losers growing up and never had girlfriends.  Therefore they never learned how to properly cheat on chicks. I mean everybody knows you don’t send emails and texts and crap like that.   Everything has to be face to face and paid for in cash.  But these guys are such greenhorns when it comes to getting pussy that they always dumb mistakes.    Listen I’m not saying cheating is easy, but it’s not rocket science either.  

PS – I get wanting to be a human lollipop, but what’s the infatuation with taking a shower with girly shit in the shower?   That’s just weird.