Random Thoughts

Introducing Rachel from Hartford. Hammer don't fucking hurt him! This girl is a heart attack waiting to happen. Everybody knows that I love Brunettes but this may be the hottest girl we've ever featured on the Stool. Definitely a #1 seed in the smokeshow of the months brackets whenever I get around to posting the next one.

Just as an FYI the Smokeshow Party is in October. It will be here before you know it. If you haven't nominated somebody yet good luck getting in. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

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Somewhere along the line I came across this blog written by some chick named Sarah offering suggestions to other chicks about how to be helpful during Fantasy Football Draft Season:

Girls, get ready because fantasy football is fast approaching... While your men are glued to their TVs and computers all week long looking for the latest stats and injury reports on their players, time with you will be limited.   Soak up the last few weeks of football free summer.  Use your spare weekends finishing up house projects because if you don’t get them done now, you’ll have to wait until next year!  Take a fun vacation and spend some quality time with your man before his obsession with football takes over for the next five months.

But don’t let the boys have all the fun this Fall!  As football season approaches the guys are beginning to prepare for their drafts. While most men don’t want the girls around, a few have found the wonderful benefits of inviting their girlfriends/wives along for the draft.

For some girls the fantasy draft is the last place they want to be, but for those who want to be involved here are some ideas of ways you can help on draft day:

• Bake: There’s no better way to get you in on the draft then offering to bring food for the guys!
• If your man’s group does a live draft and some players can not attend, offer to be of assistance.  I host a chat room through AOL Instant Messenger for the guys who can’t make the draft day, and it works as if they are actually there!
• Offer to keep a tracker board for the guys, crossing off players as they are chosen so that the guys can keep up with who is left.
• Make a spreadsheet with all the players for the guys to use as a reference sheet.

There are countless ways to be involved with the fantasy football draft even if you don’t play.  Tell your man you want to help and offer some suggestions.  MEN: Include your significant other in your hobbies!  Let them share your excitement with you!

Sarah, let me begin by saying I admire your spunk. As they say in those kinds of old movies, you've got moxie, kid. I admire any woman who can accept the fact that her boyfriend/husband can be so involved in something and wants her as far removed from it as possible. That's a rare trait and you have my admiration for it. And for you to recognize that weekends in the Fall are meant for football and not apple-picking, antiquing, leaf-peeping or any of a hundred other castrating girl activities is very much to your credit. I can't count how many times I've given my own Comely Lass the speech about "The Patriots season is 16 games long. Times 3 hours per game. So that's 48 hours a year I don't want to be accountable for my whereabouts," only to have her plan dinner with her mother or something. So good for you.

Now, as far as your suggestions go, let me take them one at a time:

• By all means bake something.
• Don't help. Leave the brownies on a platter and go out with your friends, thank you. A guy has all year to save the date, if he can't make it on draft night, he gets left behind. Or splits a team with someone. Or scrapes together a team out of the leftovers. But you'll have to kill me before I sit there waiting for some douchebag with more important things to do to IM his picks.
• No way. It's bad enough getting guys to keep track of the picks on their own. It'll never work with some guys wife who doesn't know her Johnson's from her Williamses doing it for the room.
• Any guy who doesn't walk in without his own draft board should be turned away at the door.

As for your final point, any real man will tell you we reserve the right to include you in some of our hobbies and exclude you from others. If you want to share something, share our excitement about oral sex. Again, though, great idea about the baked goods.

Rate Sarah's suggestions:

BEIJING, Aug 19 (Reuters) - Table tennis is desperate to attract more viewers and some in the sport believe a simple enough solution exists: get the women to wear skirts and shirts with “curves”. “We are trying to push the players to use skirts and also nicer shirts, not the shirts that are made for men, but ones with more curves,” International Table Tennis Federation (ITTF) vice president Claude Bergeret said.One player, Japan’s Naomi Yotsumoto, has taken matters into her own hands. At the Japanese national championships last year, she played in a daring ensemble of her own design: knee socks, a pleated mini-skirt and a shirt that left one shoulder bare. (Editing by Nick Macfie)

It took the ITTF this long to figure out that chicks in baggy cloths don’t put asses in the seats?   Gee you think?  I mean everybody knows that the only thing that matters in women’s sports is how good the athletes look.   Don’t get me wrong a good sexy chick will be always be more popular than a bad sexy chick, but a bad sexy chick will be more popular than a good ugly chick.    Does that make any sense?   Let me put it his way.    I bet if somebody started the SLPGA or SWTA (Sexy Ladies Professional Golf Association and Sexy Women’s Tennis Association) those leagues would be more popular than the ones that let the ugly bitches in.   Because 97% of the people who watch sports in the world are guys.  And guys don’t tune in to watch disgusting chicks compete for championships no matter how talented they are.  Bottom line is that great tits and ass trumps great athletic ability 9 out of 10 times and twice on Sunday.

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A New Zealand kindergarten disco was broken up by authorities for pumping out "Bob the Builder" music too loud. While the preschoolers were dancing at the One Tree Hill Kindergarten in Auckland, an unhappy neighbor was busy complaining, The Dominion Post newspaper reported on Tuesday. A red-faced noise control officer from the local council turned up at 6:30 p.m. and told partygoers that the music was too loud, and they would have to turn it off. Luckily for the kids, it was close to bedtime, with the disco scheduled to finish at 7 p.m. The disco was an annual event, and this was the first time noise had been a problem, Gordon said.

For starters, I don't like the tone of this article one damned bit. It almost sounds like they're blaming the victim here. Like what's the neighbor supposed to do, just sit there and tolerate some wild party until all hours of the night? It was 6:30 in the evening fercrisssakes! When's a person supposed to get a little peace and quiet? I can just imagine what it must have been like for this guy. Bunch of little Kiwis all hopped up on CapriSuns and gummy worms screaming "Can we build it?" "Yes! We! CAN!" at the top of their lungs until the poor wretch couldn't take it any more. I'm no snitch, but this is exactly the kind of situation that has to be nipped in the bud. Otherwise you'll end up with the little brats guzzling Pixie Sticks or Kool Aid, then going out into the backyard and playing tag or, God forbid, Marco Polo until things spiral out of control. So the neighbor did what any good citizen should do: call in the local constabulary to restore the peace. All of New Zealand owes him a debt of gratitude.

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BOSTON -- Baseball Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski has been hospitalized in Boston for what his spokesman called something "serious."

I'm not even sure when or how I first heard about Bill Dance, but I guess he's huge down South and rightfully so. Granted I've never watched anything but his bloopers, but that's good enough for me. This guy is hilarious. There is just something about him that cracks me up every time. I literally had tears in my eyes watching him get hit in the face with the camera.

(No way Beth Should be Allowed To Wear White)

USweekly - Feisty Real World season two cast member — and Real World Challenge star — Beth Stolarczyk is a married woman. She wed real estate developer Matt Ciriello on August 9, in a private ceremony on the beach in Santa Monica, her rep tells Usmagazine.com exclusively. Real World Boston alum Syrus Yarbrough and Temptation Island's Valerie Penso were among the 175 guests. Stolarczyk, 39, and Ciriello, 32, have more good news: They're also expecting a baby. “I have never been happier in my life. We are over the moon," Stolarczyk tells Us. "I was not expecting to be pregnant on my wedding day, but then I’ve always done things a little controversial.”

Beth is married and expecting a kid?   Are you shitting me?   Her husband must have never heard of MTV right?   I mean how could you marry Beth if you’ve watched even one episode of Real World Vs Road Rules Challenge?   Even my dad knows you can’t trust her.   Sure it may look like she’s innocently cooking eggs and bacon for breakfast, but in reality she’s scheming how to steal all your money or worse yet getting ready to start a nasty rumor about you.  Anyway I wonder if this new development means that Beth has officially retired from the Gauntlet?    I certainly hope not.  Because love her or hate her, she puts asses in the seats.  Plus she’s always a tough out.

(Manny Delcarmen sucks and owes me a thousand bucks)

Another game and another dominating performance by Jon Lester.       As crazy as it sounds, I think it’s fair to start asking whether Jon Lester should be the Game 1 starter in the playoffs this year.   Obviously the answer is no because Josh Beckett is like 93-0 in the playoffs,  but I don’t think there can be any debate who has been the best pitcher on the Red Sox this year.    It’s been Lester by a mile.  If it wasn’t for Cliff Lee he’d be a CY Young candidate.   And it seems like every time he pitches the Sox are coming off a two game losing streak and it feels like a must win game and he always delivers.  He’s also the reason I think we’re the team to beat in the AL.   It’s hard to argue with Beckett, Lester and Dice K heading into the playoffs.    I’ll take that 1-2-3 over everybody else in the league.    

As a side note I want to punch Manny Delcarmen in the face.   I had the under last night which was 9.   The pride of Roxbury starts the bottom of the 8th in a 4-1 game.  He gets the first two guys out with no problem only to walk the next two guys in a row and get yanked.   How the fuck does that happen?  You got a 3 run lead with 2 outs and nobody on!    Make them fucking hit it!   Naturally Aubrey Hoff knocks them both in; the Sox score 2 in the 9^th for the push.  I was bullshit.  Moral of the story.   I don’t trust Delcarmen as far as I can bowl him and somebody owes me a thousand dollars.

PS – The Devil Dogs start their collapse tonight.   Mark it down.

Tennis legend Boris Becker is to marry a woman 16 years his junior. The German star, 40, proposed to Alessandra 'Sandy' Meyer-Wolden, 24, during a holiday in Sardinia over the weekend. Alessandra is a jewellery designer and the daughter of Becker's late manager, Axel Meyer-Wolden, who died in 1997. This will be the second marriage for Becker, who divorced wife Barbara Feltus seven years ago. The couple have two children. He also has a daughter by Angela Ermakova, the result of a well-publicised romp in the broom cupboard of London restaurant Nobu in 1999. Although he has known Alessandra since she was a child, their relationship only recently moved to a romantic footing.

While I would never say this around my own Darling Trophy Wife, a 40 year old marrying a 24 year old is not exactly out of the realm, particularly for a wealthy Eurotrash celebrity. But it takes a particularly high level of depravity to marry the daughter of your dead manager, whom you've know since birth. But for Becker, it's just another step in a career full of debauchery. For a guy who's knocked up a chick in a restaurant broom closet or split from his wife via text message, marrying a girl you who used to spill baby food on your kitchen floor is nothing. Becker is no different than that great philosopher Sylvester Stallone who once, when asked why he only likes young girls, said "For the same reason people like puppies."

I'm not sure what the rules of a revival are, but I'm pretty sure that chick in the blue pushed one of those dudes to the ground. That seems to be in poor revival taste. Or is a revival kind of like a Battle Royal where anything goes? Regardless I like the kid who sat in the front row the entire time like he was watching PBS. To say he was not impressed would be a gigantic understatement.

More Katy here...

Who do you want ot Wake Up with? Ub@bartoolsports.com