Nine congressmen are adding their voices to the push to get the NCAA to alter its policy allowing beer and wine cooler ads during TV telecasts. The congressmen today sent a letter to NCAA President Myles Brand urging the NCAA to ban alcohol ads entirely from broadcasts.

“We find it puzzling that NCAA advertising rules prohibit ads for cigarettes, other tobacco products, organizations promoting gambling and alcohol beverages, yet continue to allow ads for beverages with alcohol content of 6% or less,” said the letter. “Given the devastating problems caused by underage college drinking, much of it in the form of beer, that policy makes little sense and flouts the core value of sports and learning. Please act to protect the integrity of college sports and the health and safety interests of college students, athletes and young fans by ending all advertising during NCAA broadcasts,” the letter said.

Thank God all our problems are solved and now we can get onto the really important matters like beer ads during football games. The crappy economy, the war, the price of gas and football coaches taping other teams signals, have all been taken care of through the unflappable determination and tireless efforts of our fine public servants. So now they can turn their attention to saving us all from the scourge of beer commercials, which have torn at the very fabric of our way of life. Now we can all get back to an America the way it was when our congressmen were in school: wholesome, innocent and free of vice. A nation of sober collegians focused on their studies, teetotaling academics spending their Saturdays rooting on their school team free from booze and temperate coeds being seduced without evil alcohol to spoil the fun. Keep up the good work, congress, and vote yourself a nice pay raise. You deserve it.