Reader Email

El Presidente,
 
I have started to read the Stool over the past couple of months, and have become a big fan.  There was an article a couple of months ago for Douchebag of the week about a douche from a men's soccer league.  Well I have one from a slow pitch softball league that my wife is in.  My wife came home the other night pretty pissed off about this e-mail.  She has been on the team since last year, and has not missed any games.  She is a pretty steady player, and has said that the league wasn't too competitive and was just to have fun.  Her and a couple of other people are the ones that this e-mail will impact about not playing.  Also keep in mind this douche is a pretty shitty player, and apparently drives 70 miles for each game.  That should say how sucky he really is that he could not find a league closer to home.  I want to know what people think about this one.  If this was a real competitive league my wife wouldn't give a shit about not playing, but I have been to a game and saw that is was a rec league at best.  Let me know if I am overreacting, but this guy seems like a super douche to me.  I mean batting practice, come on.  Again, big fan of the stool.
 
Mike

Subject

Playoffs

As everyone knows last Wednesday was a complete disaster and for all intents and purposes we have not played a good game in weeks. The challenges are obvious and if you're not seeing them, you aren't paying attention to this team. Since the second half of the season we have tried to play everyone and keep people interested while evaluating who is getting more comfortable and who can best help the team.

As the playoffs start next week, I am tasked with the unenviable job of putting a line up together, making team decisions which could hurt friends feeling and subsequently splinter what has been a great group of people for the last couple years. While this part of the job is a challenge for me, I don't drive 70 miles round trip just to have terrible service and marginal food in Lawrence twice a week. I do it to win softball games and compete as hard as I can, clearly you feel the same way otherwise you wouldn't subject yourself to this long season of "ups and downs".

So what does all of this mean? Essentially we (Leslie, Tom and myself) have decided that starting Wednesday and moving forward we're going to play 9 fielders and bat 3 women in the line up. The entire length of the line up will depend on injuries but right now this is what we're thinking.

BTW- this should not surprise anyone, if it does feel free to speak with me tonight or anytime on the phone.

Sara - 4

Joan- 7

John - 3

Tom- 9

Jason- 8

Leslie -1

Ben- 6

Keith - DH

Jose- 5

Krista/Tawnya- 2

There is a chance that we'll go back to the 10 fielder and in that case we would move Sara to RT or short fielder and insert Dave K in at second base. Also, if I can't play first base we'll include Everett into the line up as well.

Based on how everyone is playing at this point we feel this line up give us the best opportunity to win games against very good competition. Do I think we'll win the championship with this group? I don't know but I know we won't batting 14 and having three 1-2-3 innings because people scuffling at the plate. All I can say is things happen in softball and we'll need everyone at some point so I hope even if you don't agree with our decision you'll support the team for the next couple weeks!

If this e-mail has upset you and you don't want to attend tonight's BP or Wednesday's game that is your decision- either way let me know via e-mail so we can plan accordingly.

Thanks,

John M.

This may be my favorite letter of all-time.   Sure you can make fun of this guy all you want, but when you’re right you’re right.   Let me ask you this.  Would you want to make the 70 mile trip to Lawrence (AKA Heartland of MA) every week just to get your face kicked in and eat the marginal local cuisine?   It’s time to stop being nice.  Everybody knows you can’t bat 14 guys and expect to win the title.  It doesn’t work in Tee Ball. It doesn’t work in Little League.  It doesn’t work in the major leagues and it certainly won’t work in rec league softball.    So I say kudos to this guy for trying to take the bull by the horns and manage his way to the title.   I just hope he is making the right decision by having two chicks as his table setters at the top of his line up.   If that blows up in his face he’ll be 2^nd guessed on every talk show in the country.

PS – Maybe my favorite part of this email was the fact that the guy listed the positions by numbers as opposed to CF, LF, 1B etc.   That’s the mark of somebody who did their book their entire life while the good players were in the field.

Double PS – I’ve never heard of a wife playing in a coed softball league without the husband before.   While I appreciate the email I’d be stunned if she wasn’t hooking up with somebody on the team.    I mean what other explanation could there be?

Triple PS - If you haven't read Softball Dude yet I highly recommend it.