Random Thoughts

Introducing Christy and Courtney from Fitchburg State.   It’s official!  This is the high water mark in the history of Barstool Sports.  Hot Mess Twins!      And at Fitchburg State no less!     This has to be a big recruiting coup for them right?    Now I know what everybody is thinking.  Will the twins be entered as a tandem in the Smokeshow of the Month brackets.  And the answer is yes!   That splashing sound you hear in the background is from all the other girls pissing themselves in fear.

I almost didn’t post a smokeshow today because I wanted to spite all the people who email me complaining whenever we don’t post one.   Fucking shut up already!    If you want smokeshows then send us girls and don’t whine like a little girl.    Nominations go to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click here for more of the Twins

Wow, who knew Hayden Panettierre could sing too? How's she managed to keep that talent hidden all this time? I think I've been pretty clear to this point that I respect Hayden as an artist, and I have to admit I think she's the victim of some bad career advice here. If you're trying to make it as a crossover artist and you don't have the vocal chops of an Alyssa Milano or a Jennifer Love Hewitt, you've got to tart it up more. Less singing, more scenes where you're pulling your jeans up over your thong. C'mon, Hayden you're a barely legal TV sex kitten, not Aretha Franklin.

So how do you rate Hayden's musical debut? I'm talking about the video as a whole, not just the song. The audio from this is being used in Gitmo to make terrorists crack.

BOSTON -- The Boston firefighter who competed in a bodybuilding contest while out on disability leave has failed to follow an order to return to work. Albert Arroyo had filed for a disability pension in April, claiming he suffered a career-ending back injury. But in May, he competed in a national bodybuilding competition. After a report in The Boston Globe, Fire Commissioner Roderick Fraser ordered Arroyo to show up for work Monday. The doctor who determined that a bodybuilding Boston firefighter could not work because he is "totally and permanently" disabled has made similar recommendations for other firefighters. Mahoney says he did not know Arroyo was a bodybuilder when he examined him and says he now looks "foolish."

Albert Arroyo has some serious balls huh?   Listen dude the gig is up.   You got busted.   You can’t be "totally and permanently disabled” and still competing in body building competitions.    You gave it a bid and you lost.  No big deal, but everybody knows you were lying.   So what’s the point of not showing up for work yesterday?  This is like playing hide and seek with a guy and when you find him he still won’t come out.  Do you think Arroyo plans on sticking with the permanently disabled shtick?  Could anybody be this diabolical?   I mean even George Costanza would have given up by now.

(photo originally seen on dlisted)

(photo from sportsbybrooks)

Click Here For the Answer

SAN LUIS OBISPO,Calif.—Two practical jokers are behind bars for setting their passed-out drinking buddy's crotch ablaze while boozing in Grover Beach. Matthew Craig Pillers and Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer pleaded no contest to a felony great bodily injury charge. Prosecutors say the 22-year-old Pillers, a parolee, was sentenced to two years in prison and the 19-year-old Keiffer got 45 days in San Luis Obispo County jail. Elliot Tuleja was passed out when the men poured cologne on the man's groin and set him on fire on Jan. 18. Tuleja had second-degree burns on his testicles.

First of all, this ain’t no banana in the tail pipe.  It ain’t no “teabag” either.  Hell, it’s not even a whoopie cushion on the chair.  They lit this guy’s nuts on fire!  Jesus, what kind of gang initiation was this for because I’d stay away from these people.  I mean what possesses one man to light another man’s nuts on fire?  Unless it was on a dare. Everybody knows, anybody who turns down a dare is a pussy.

Well I'm off to do my paper route in the Astrovan. I fucking hate my life.

(All pics from TMZ)

Mariners Blog - Seems that Boston slugger Manny Ramirez was leaving the ballpark, with headphones on trying to look inconspicuous and quickly get away from the crowds still leaving the stadium. He started to cross South Royal Brougham Way, against the signals of a traffic cop who was directing pedestrians. The police officer demanded that Ramirez open his wallet and show identification. He warned him that he could face a $500 fine and possible arrest for disobeying a police officer. It became clear to those watching that the policeman had no idea who Ramirez was. He didn't ask for an autograph or anything, but did ask Ramirez if he'd attended the game. After the brief lecture, and no argument from Ramirez, the police officer let him go with no further trouble.

God dammit Manny can't catch a break. We're just lucky he didn't punch this cops lights out. Looks like those anger management classes must be working after all. And not for nothing but the cop deserved to get whaled on. Dude how can you not know who Manny Ramirez is? Guy is only one of the best hitters in the history of the game and former World Series MVP. Regardless cue the Dan Shaughnessy "Manny Has No Respect For Authority Because He Jaywalks" article.

PS - While I'm talking about Manny I'd just like to state for the record that the above play was the most overblown play in the history of Manny being Manny. Yeah he fucked up but it wasn't like he wasn't hustling the entire time. If anybody else did that nobody would have said a peep. But since it was Manny it became comedy hour at the Apollo. I honestly don't see what the big deal is. He sprinted in , dove and came up short. It happens 10 times a night in MLB. Is the laugh riot because he slipped going back for the ball after he missed it? Who cares?

Photo By Bill Brett of Boston.com - Gabby Rizzuto of East Boston and Cristin Skane of Saugus.)

Generally I'm a big fan of Bill Brett from the Globe. But clearly he got his facts wrong on this one. Because there is no way Gabby and Cristin are from East Boston and Saugus respectivly. I mean they have Nantucket and the Vineyard written all over them. Honest mistake.

CSMonitor.com - An outbreak of blue-green algae is seen on the Coastline of Qingdao, the host city for sailing events at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. The Qingdao government has organized 400 boats and 3000 people to help remove the algae after Olympic organizers ordered a cleanup. Where the algae bloom came from is uncertain; some claim the chunks arrived from the Yellow Sea and could qualify as an 'unavoidable natural disaster.'

Next time you find yourself complaining about how much George Bush sucks or how gas costs 5 bucks a gallon just thank your lucky stars that you don’t live in China. I mean how bad must it suck to get drafted into algae patrol? I can just picture a bunch of village people sitting around the campfire drawing their assignments now…. Come on Military! Come on Military...No,Algae patrol!    And it’s not like you can say no in China either.  If they knock on your door that’s it.  You’re in.   And all for what?  So little Nancy boy sailors can have a clean ocean to sail in?  If anything the real Olympic sport should be the algae cleanup.  First person to clean 50 pounds wins.

PS – Anybody who doesn’t think this event will show up on the Gauntlet next season is just kidding themselves.

- Thank to Machochip for the tip

From: Journalismjobs.com

Company:	Boston Herald
Position:	Sports Writer
Location:	boston, Massachusetts
Job Status:	Full-time
Salary:	Not Specified
Ad Expires:	August 25, 2008
Job ID:	953437
Website:	http://bostonherald.com

Description:
The Boston Herald, the authority of hard-hitting sports coverage and analysis in Boston, is seeking an experienced NFL reporter to cover the New England Patriots. Candidates should have at least five years of experience covering professional sports in a competitive market and should have enough NFL contacts to be able to impactfully deliver local and national stories, produce a weekly NFL notebook and blog on the newspaper's Web site. Please send resumes, clips and references to Sports Editor Hank Hryniewicz at hankh@bostonherald.com and Deputy Sports Editor Mark Murphy at mjmurphy@bostonherald.com. The Herald is an EOE.

“Candidates should have at least five years of experience covering professional sports in a competitive market and should have enough NFL contacts to be able to impactfully deliver local and national stories”

Ha! Ha!  Who the fuck is the Herald kidding?  Since when do you need to have sources to write for the Hearld?    I mean shouldn’t the description read something like this

 “The Boston Herald, the authority on smear campaigns and yellow journalism in Boston is seeking an experienced story teller to cover the New England Patriots.  Candidates should have at least five years experience in deceit and dishonesty and should have enough imaginary NFL contacts to be able to impactfully deliver controversial alebeit fake local and national stories.”

Don’t you think this would be a little bit more accurate description of what they’re looking for?

PS - As much as I’d love this to be Tomase’s job that the Herald is looking to fill, I’m pretty sure it’s Felgers.    Word on the street in Abington is that Felger is leaving the Herald along with Rob Bradford to go write for weei.com as they try and revamp their website so they can compete vs. the likes of Barstool Sports.   Good luck muchachos.

Click Here for more pics of Hilary Duff

(Send all wake up nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com)

Jon Lester is the reason I'm supremely confident that we're going to win the World Series this year. Between him, Josh Beckett and Dice K, I'll take my chances against anybody.