Random Thoughts

Introducing Kaitlin from Roger Williams University. I don't even pretend to know what or where Roger Williams University is, but if Kaitlin is representative of their student body than that is one hot ass school. This girl has legs that don't quit.

Keep the smokeshows coming! Send them to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click here for more pics of Kaitlin

Bostonherald.com - Celtic’s owner Wyc Grossbeck shows what the NBA Championship ring might look like last night.

I'm hard.

PS - James Posey just signed with the Hornets. Looks like we'll have to win it next year in 7.

See this is why some people claim that wrestlers are the greatest athletes in the world. I mean how many guys could take a spill like Mike Awesome did, lay there for a couple minutes, and then regroup to beat the ref with the turn buckle? It's improv 101. Kudos to you Mike Awesome. Kudos to you.

People.com - After five years together, The Insider host Pat O'Brien and his girlfriend Betsy Stephens plan to marry. "It's probably going to be next fall," O'Brien, with Stephens at his side, told PEOPLE at A-Rod's All-Star party at New York City's 40/40 Monday. "We're in love and in no big hurry. We don't know if it will take place – in Jamaica, New York, or Nantucket."

I can’t say I didn’t see this one coming a mile away.  Listen in all my years of listening to drunk dudes trying to set up threesomes with hot bitches, I’ve never heard anybody so concerned for their girlfriend as Pat O’Brien was with Betsy.   I mean despite how much he wanted to lick this random chick’s pussy, suck on her tits and beat off in her face, he made it crystal clear that she had to at least fake like she was into Betsy.  How gallant is that? You just don’t find true gentlemen like Pat O’Brien anymore in today’s society.   Clearly these two love birds were meant for one another.

STICKNEY, Ill. - A family from suburban Chicago said they arrived at a funeral home Monday to view their 91-year-old grandmother's body, but instead found another woman in the casket. Even worse, the family of Lillian Grogan said the stranger had on the grandmother's dress and favorite bracelet. They claim the mix-up happened because the funeral home incorrectly tagged Grogan and another woman. By the time it was noticed, Grogan had already been buried. Her family got a court order to have the body exhumed yesterday, and she'll be reburied.

I can see the Grogan family wanting to pay their last respects to grandma and everything, but I am alone in thinking they're overreacting? I mean, it's not like Lillian got left out with the trash or got sold to a med school or a pet food company or something. She did get buried after all. She was well taken care of. Why put the funeral home... or Lillian for that matter... through all the effort? Why not just assume the family of the woman in Lillian's casket gave her a nice sendoff, return the favor and call it even, no harm done? (Though I sincerely home she was actually dead.)

Besides, aren't all old ladies past the age of 90 pretty much interchangeable anyway? This was an honest mistake and it's understandable. There's an old expression among morticians that funeral homes are just like the airport: Many bags look alike.

Click Here For the Answer

Let this be a lesson to all the kids out there who think that life is too hard or that they were dealt a bad hand. Just look at good old "Cum". He didn't let his silly little nickname or the color of his skin hold him back from his dream. And now "Cum" is in the Hall of Fame where he belongs. This just proves the old adage that when life gives you lemons make cum or something like that...

- Thanks to Bill for the pic

A man whose shirt proclaims him as the "world's greatest dad" has been arrested on charges he tried to use the internet to arrange a sexual encounter with a minor.  He was caught in one of Attorney General Mike Cox's cyber stings... Investigators arrested [Daniel Allen] Everett, 33, for chatting online with who he thought was a 14-year-old girl that he met in a chatroom. Everett allegedly engaged in graphic sexual conversation with an undercover agent and propositioned the agent, who was posing as a 14-year-old girl, to meet him for sex.

I've got two kids, and I've always thought of myself as an OK father. Good, but by no means great. Certainly I've never claimed to be the "World's Greatest Dad." But I always knew he was out there, and I hoped some day to meet him and maybe be inspired to be like him. I used to imagine what he must be like. I had this idealized image of a handsome, well-groomed guy in a suit and tie with perfect manners who never loses his temper, coaches all his kid's sports and guides his kids through life with wise parables, clever little bromides and Bible stories. In other words, something I could never be.

Now we finally get to meet the "World's Greatest Dad" and he's a 33 year old, WWE-watching, white trash online predator. And in an odd sort of way, it makes me happy. I still can't claim to be in contention for "World's Greatest Dad," but at least I know I'm a lot closer to the top spot than I thought I was and it feels pretty good. It's like being Phil Mickelson or Ernie Els watching Tiger Woods having a bad round. You feel like you might not have gotten any better, but maybe the No. 1 in the rankings is falling back to the pack a little.

Jerry's Final Thought: What's funnier? That Everett went through his closet thinking "What should I wear to go statuorially rape a 14 year old girl I met online? I know! My "World's Greatest Dad" shirt! That'll be an icebreaker!!!" or the fact that the Attorney General's name is "Mike Cox"? (Thanks to Matt for the story, and just for laughs, here are some other mug shots with "message" shirts courtesy of Smoking Gun. Enjoy.)

FRAMINGHAM — Known among the nation's glitterati as "the Hooters of Haircutting" and "the day spa for dudes," Knockouts Haircuts for Men will open its first New England location on Rte. 9 this fall. Knockouts - a boxing-themed spa and salon for men - offers haircuts, hair coloring and lightener, manicures, pedicures, hair waxing and massages. Dishing out such pampering? Females in short shorts and form-fitting tops - referred to under copyrighted nomenclature by the company's brass as "Knockouts Girls." "We do hire attractive females," said CEO Tom Friday from his Irving, Texas, office Monday. "It's like the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. It's cool and a lot of fun."  A "Heavyweight" haircut, which includes a free beverage, two shampoos, a head massage, and a hot towel treatment, costs about $30, said Friday.  The company, which sold the franchise rights to four New England states to Boston residents Bing and Winnie Yeo in June 2007, plans to open a site at 328 Worcester Road - near Rte. 126 - by the beginning of September. Bing Yeo said he envisions opening 20 salons in the region. The company has more than 300 locations in 22 states.

In theory this is a great idea.   In theory.   But a funny thing seems to happen when franchises like Hooters or Knockouts make their way into the Commonwealth.  For lack of better words they get uglified.  The so called Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders of haircutting start to look a lot like the cheerleaders from Wildcats.   And make no mistake about it.  It’s the sizzle not the steak that sells with places like these.   So Knockouts New England better bring the thunder with the chicks. Unless of course Bing Yeo is actually code for “happy endings.” Then all bets are off because you don't need nearly as hot of girls to get the job done.

Reader Email

Hi,

I would not normally write an email like this, but I took special offense to your writing from yesterday. In case you forgot here is an excerpt:

"Well while we're on the subject of America getting its ass kicked, I figured we might as well talk about another area where we can't compete on a National level.  I'm obviously talking about great asses."

The quote was meant partly as humorous, but it really got me angry for some reason, and I felt it was my duty to defend American women and America. I agree Reef Girls have amazing asses.  I worship them; who wouldn't?  However, I totally disagree that America doesn't have the best asses, and hottest women in the world.  The reason so many foreign girls show off their asses for Reef is simple.  They need the money.  Their parents aren't wealthy and where they come from there aren't as many rich men to marry them or take care of them.  In the USA girls with asses like that have been marrying rich men for so long that MOST of the hottest ass in the US is concentrated with the wealthy.  If you don't believe that hot ass has been marrying wealthy just read some comments left by your readers concerning the Reef video.


" I want to marry the shit out of that ass!!"

— TheKiecker, Jul 14 2008, 5:47 pm

" I would bury my face in that ass and not come up for air until my life depended on it."

— Rusty Trombone, Jul 14 2008, 5:51 pm


My point is this.  When I, or any guy sees a girl with an ass like that we lose our minds and want to marry them.  If you are a girl with an ass like that in the US you have many options to marry wealthy men.  It's not the case in South and Central America.  Those girls don't want to work.  They have to.  I'm sure they love the attention, but they trade all that in for a guy making seven figures, and there are plenty of them in the US.  Average bonuses at many wall street firms and law firms are over $600,000.

We have gotten to the point in the US where girls with asses like that are now offspring of super wealthy families and there are many in the US.  Their daughters aren't going to parade around with a thong on around the world if they are being sent to a great college, driving a BMW or Range Rover, being pursued by rich guys and NOT WORKING.  Put yourself in their shoes.  What would you do? 

Every once in a while we get super hot girls like Marisa Miller (in strong contention for hottest girl on the planet) or Carmen Electra, who didn't have it easy and they go into modeling. 

Conclusion:

American women have the hottest asses in the world, and the best tits by the way.  It's just the majority of them have other options than shaking them in front of drunk guys.

Regards,
Christopher

Christopher must go to Harvard right?   Because this email is definitely going to win him a Pulitzer.    And let me be the first to apologize to every American girl with a great ass who I insulted.  Thanks to Chris I have seen the error of my ways.   USA! USA! USA!

Thank you New York.   Thank you for proving once and for all what classless, clueless and truly disgusting people you are.    Thank you for booing Maria Menounous in the celebrity softball game.   Thank you for booing every Red Sox player last night.  Thank you for heckling Jonathan Papelbon’s pregnant wife during the All Star Parade.  Thank you for chanting “overrated” and “Mariano Is Better” when Papelbon pitched in the 8^th.     Because I’ve got to be honest here.  With the way the Sox have totally dominated this century, players and fans alike have kind of forgotten just how despicable Yankee fans really are.    I mean all the intensity and all the hatred has started to disappear as we continue to rack up World Series victory after World Series victory.  But not anymore.  Not after last night.   Not after the NY Daily News pulled a Tomase. Thankfully you have once again made it personal.  Because I promise you that Jonathan Papelbon will never forget the way he was treated last night for the rest of his life.  You have reignited the fire we need to ensure that our domination continues for years to come.  So once again New York I say thank you from the bottom of my heart. And congrats to JD Drew on his MVP award in the last all star game at Yankee Stadium. Kind of seems fitting for a Red Sox player to win that award.

In honor of today being opening day at Del Mar we are doing a special wake up for race fans and Manzo. Yup Wake Up with the Cougars of Del Mar Race Track. Click here for more photos.

And for more Del Mar stuff check out Del Mar Scene

This is starting to make the Neverending Story look like child's play. I really want to go to bed, but I've already invested like 6 hours. And I don't even have money on it. Are people still watching this thing? I feel like I can't go to bed even though I really want to.