Sign up for
Random Thoughts
emailed every day
Email:
Google
Web
barstoolsports.com
June 23, 2008

Random Thoughts


Don Imus Strikes Again!

 

Don Imus is all class huh? Seriously this made the Nappy Headed Ho thing look like child's play. But who cares right? Let's keep giving this racist bastard a million chances. After all he is part of the "old media" that the old media is always talking so glowingly about so he must be awesome. I honestly don't get it sometimes. Everybody who was involved in giving this guy a second chance needs to be fired ASAP!

 

— elpresidente, 7:23 pm | permalink | 147 comments


Rate Shaq's New Hit Single "Kobe, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes"

shaqTMZ.com -- Shaquille O'Neal took the mic at a NYC club last night, unleashing a freestyle verbal assault directed at his arch-enemy Kobe Bryant -- blaming his former teammate for ruining his marriage and imploring him to "Tell me how my ass tastes."

After spending several verses shredding Kobe apart for losing in the NBA playoffs, Shaq drops the line, "I'm a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that's why I'm getting divorced."

 

Well it's only been a few minutes and already I can't get this song out of my head. Shaq may really have something here with this rapping thing. The only part I didn't like was the attack on Ewing. Now that wasn't fair.

Click here for Shaq's new hit single - "Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes"

— manzo, 7:00 pm | permalink | 31 comments


This Is What Living In Title Town Is All About!

 

Now see these are the celebrations that they don't show on TV and talk about on other blogs. Everybody wants to focus on the 14 people who got arrested and the couple knuckleheads who broke a window. But this is what Boston is all about. Just a giant party celebrating the fact that we live in Boston and that we're better than everybody else. Don't hate us because we rule.

And as far as Matt Damon shoving it in LA's face at the Spike TV Awards? God bless him!

 

PS - We just unveiled this shirt like 10 seconds ago. Don't even bother telling me that it's fucking awesome because I already know it is. Hey America, we own you! Deal with it. I may wear this shirt every single day for the rest of the centruy. No joke.

d

 

k

— elpresidente, 5:18 pm | permalink | 45 comments


Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day (Jenna)

Introducing Jenna from Curry College. Jenna is also a bartender at Wiseguys in Methuen. But if you go in there I wouldn't hit on her too much because her family also owns the joint. By the way I feel like the fact her family owns a bar automatically makes her a cool chick.

Do you know any smokeshows? It's time to honor them for being hot. Send them our way to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com.

 

j

 

Click for more of Jenna

— elpresidente, 4:38 pm | permalink


Grandma Betty Is Killing Everyone!

k

Boston.com - In this photo provided by the Augusta, Ga., Police Dept. Betty Johnson Neumar is shown at her booking in Augusta, Ga., Tuesday, June 10, 2008. It took years, but authorities have charged the 76-year-old with hiring a hit man, and investigators think she may have also killed her four other husbands in four other states. (AP Photo/ Augusta Police Dept.)

Hammer don't hurt em! Grandma Betty is murdering dudes asses like it's going out of style. I mean knocking down 1 or 2 husbands is one thing. But five of them? And she whacked the first dude for a measly 20 grand insurance policy? Shit, this granny is liable to take you out if you say you don't like her custard pie or something. Remind me not to mess with this bitch.

— elpresidente, 4:20 pm | permalink | 11 comments


Caption Contest

k

 

"Say what you will, but ripped crotch and all, this is a pretty athletic move"

 

- Thanks to Brian for the pic

— elpresidente, 3:45 pm | permalink | 66 comments

"Fuck you Chuck Norris"

ihavehugeballz, Jun 23 2008, 3:48 pm

I just threw up in my mouth.

CptKangarooBalls, Jun 23 2008, 3:50 pm

DUDE?!

Patriot Nation, Jun 23 2008, 3:50 pm

Transportation on free gas.

bones, Jun 23 2008, 3:50 pm

Sweep the Leg

Smallz1980, Jun 23 2008, 3:52 pm

Chris Penn + Chuck Norris - underwear = comedy gold!

Five Pound Bag, Jun 23 2008, 3:52 pm

Thx for the Chris Farley demonstration

Swoop, Jun 23 2008, 3:53 pm

Auditions for "Beverly Hills Ninja II"

theotherwhitemeat, Jun 23 2008, 3:54 pm

The Newest Member of The Boston Cannons Dance Team.

Scrizroll93, Jun 23 2008, 3:54 pm

The front cover of Bob Lobel's autobiography: "How to ward off Bob Gamere's sexual advances during a Celtic's Championship Parade"

philofbelloni, Jun 23 2008, 3:55 pm

Red Bull gives you wings

ihavehugeballz, Jun 23 2008, 3:56 pm

Crotchless Jeans, (Not) Hidden Man-Boobs was, understandably a box office flop.

RonArtest, Jun 23 2008, 3:56 pm

Flying douchebag

wpm, Jun 23 2008, 3:56 pm

When the red cups come off, we really go nuts.

BA BARRACUS, Jun 23 2008, 3:56 pm

Your crane style is no match for my man-boobs style!

namastizzle, Jun 23 2008, 3:57 pm

"See, fighting is all about image. Do you think anyone wants to mess with this"

Big Dan T, Jun 23 2008, 3:57 pm

is that a possessed Ben Stiller behind him?

Don Jeans, Jun 23 2008, 3:58 pm

The guy who lost out to Team Red Cup in the heated competition for unofficial Boston dumbfuck.

laphroig23, Jun 23 2008, 3:58 pm

Swoop, you kind of beat me to it.

I really can't decide what I find most amusing about this picture. The look on the kids face, the rolls of fat, the lack of underwear, the fact that it is a pretty athletic move or the fact that he's seconds away from landing flat on his back??

theotherwhitemeat, Jun 23 2008, 3:58 pm

Cover art for the upcoming book:

"Jackie Chan: My Life as a Fat, White Asshole"

moooooog35, Jun 23 2008, 4:00 pm

that dude has some moobs - man boobs

Big Dan T, Jun 23 2008, 4:01 pm

I can't say it again, with fat fucks like this out there, there should be no fear in this dojo.

Albany1, Jun 23 2008, 4:03 pm

Notice how his right hand and eyes are pointing at his target. Now that's how you execute a flying kick.

ihavehugeballz, Jun 23 2008, 4:04 pm

"I wore this tie to look professional."

DerilickmyballsCap-e-tan, Jun 23 2008, 4:08 pm

"Does this skinny tie make me look fat?"

barstoolsports15, Jun 23 2008, 4:08 pm

is that a Liu Kang bicycle kick from Mortal Combat 1?

Finish Him

DotRat518, Jun 23 2008, 4:09 pm

Bob getting drunk and demonstrating his karate skills at the Sony meeting did not have the desired result.

The Crosby Show, Jun 23 2008, 4:11 pm

Does this skinny tie make me look fat?"

— barstoolsports15, Jun 23 2008, 4:08 pm

No, you're face does

Big Dan T, Jun 23 2008, 4:11 pm

Crouching Tiger, Flying Fat Ass

BA BARRACUS, Jun 23 2008, 4:13 pm

"El Pres' second appearance on boston.tv doesn't go as well as the first"

Pig_Bimpin', Jun 23 2008, 4:15 pm

How the Fuck did this guy even get in the air?

LongWong, Jun 23 2008, 4:18 pm

Looks like he needs a bro or manseirre (sp?)

smokeyjh05, Jun 23 2008, 4:19 pm

What is the weird computer code being projected onto the wall? I have a feeling this was taken about 15 years ago, but has anyone check youtube for a video.

C.McCockring, Jun 23 2008, 4:19 pm

He's not jumping he's falling.

namastizzle, Jun 23 2008, 4:19 pm

Kung Foo Panda

LarryJoeBird, Jun 23 2008, 4:20 pm

"Let me show you what I learned in Rex Kwon Do today"

oklahoma_stoolie, Jun 23 2008, 4:22 pm

that table is about to be in some serious fucking trouble

permalink, Jun 23 2008, 4:23 pm

The Shogun...of Newton. SHOGUN!

JustinCredible, Jun 23 2008, 4:25 pm

You see, Im gonna be your shadow. Heres you, heres Matt, theres you, theres...ahhhhh!

DotRat518, Jun 23 2008, 4:27 pm

I hope the wire-fighting team is readyyyyyy!!!

FatBastard, Jun 23 2008, 4:29 pm

Hindsight. - Knowing your buddies would move the couch cushions.

bamfTX, Jun 23 2008, 4:34 pm

I told you not to taze me, bro! Feel my wrath, YAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

BigFreakinTex, Jun 23 2008, 4:42 pm

Ed Norton in: Kung Fu Hulk

PCRookie, Jun 23 2008, 4:45 pm

Fat Freddie never thought lighting his fart would end so badly.

tg621, Jun 23 2008, 4:45 pm

How to stop an IT powerpoint presentation dead cold

johnb1222, Jun 23 2008, 4:48 pm

20 years has not been kind to Billy Zabka.

Gutterballs, Jun 23 2008, 4:48 pm

-- Pai Mei taught you the Five-Chin Exploding Seam Kick?

You're Cut Too, Shushy, Jun 23 2008, 4:49 pm

fat white men can jump.

bobwsc, Jun 23 2008, 4:55 pm

Dude, I asked you to sit on my lap while I did wall squats, not do your kung-fu fighter dance too.

chiefbromden007, Jun 23 2008, 5:02 pm


"ONE LOOK??? ONE LOOK!!!"

mrtightjeans, Jun 23 2008, 5:33 pm

Crouching Tiger, Flying Fat Ass

— BA BARRACUS, Jun 23 2008, 4:13 pm

HILARIOUS

Curt in the car, Jun 23 2008, 6:11 pm

Man, Vujajic is really taking the loss hard

squiggy, Jun 23 2008, 6:15 pm

"Son: fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life."
- Dean Wormer, Faber College

Clinton Tyree, Jun 23 2008, 6:25 pm

"I tell ya, I get no respect, no respect at all"

PutDJintheHall, Jun 23 2008, 7:07 pm

Boobies!

jimbo_hawkins, Jun 23 2008, 7:34 pm

Curtains don't match the Drapes

BigHig, Jun 23 2008, 7:48 pm

Papelbon: "Hey Schilling show me what you would do if someone charged the mound on you"

Chaz Reingold, Jun 23 2008, 7:50 pm

but does he stick the landing?

robbyd, Jun 23 2008, 8:18 pm

Kung Fu Fat-Fuck

EvenFlow87, Jun 23 2008, 8:50 pm

Shilling:"Now, a little red ink around the hole in the crotch..and Viola! instant pity."

derekio, Jun 23 2008, 9:01 pm

3 Ninjas: Tomase Kicks Back!


eyball182, Jun 23 2008, 9:16 pm

"Um, excuse me, but your tits are showing."

KdropsR, Jun 23 2008, 9:50 pm

"PUT HIM IN A BODY BAG JOHNNY!!!"

kellycarsile, Jun 23 2008, 9:55 pm

1. Dude, you cut the hole in the bottom of the popcorn tub, not your pants.

2. Keep bitching about the lssotd and this tubby fuck is going to be the wake up, guess that ass, and smoke show of the day - elpresidente

pcguru19, Jun 23 2008, 9:57 pm

Quite simply no need for this.......almost as bad as the latest Lohan pics. He does dress better than she does.

ny/nj59, Jun 24 2008, 1:09 am

Post Your Comments

Login to post your comments.

If you're not registered on the message board already, you can register here.



Overthrown Ball Mishap Showdown....Who Ya Got?

Vs.

 

Wait a minute! The Boston Cannons have cheerleaders? That is stunning news! I wonder if they have to buy tickets to get in to the games? I mean being a High kSchool cheerleader has to be more prestigious than being a Cannons cheerleader right? It's almost like you're begging for a ball to the face when you sign up for this gig. But I'm not going to make fun of the Cannons Dance team because after carefully checking out all their profiles I'm pretty sure these chicks know how to party. Think of the Omega Mu's on steroids. Mark my words when I say if we can get the Cannon Dance team to come to a Barstool party, it will be the best party in the history of the world. Shit will be going down everywhere.

Anyway as far as this contest goes the Cannon's chick got it much worse. The dunk tank guy was kind of a pussy. Get up dude. It's not like you got hit with a Josh Beckett Fastball.

 

Vote 1 for Cannons Dancer and 10 for dude behind the dunk tank

 

— elpresidente, 2:52 pm | permalink | 34 comments


Barstool Beach Bowl Sponsored By Corona Is Tuesday July 1st

k

(Former Barstool Mascot Rabbit was discoverd last year at the Beach Bowl. Unfortunately she won't be there this year as she is off, doing umm other things. (NSFW with a capital NSFW link)

 

Are people getting pumped up for the Beach Bowl? Yup our 2nd Annual Corona Beach Bowl at Kings is coming up fast. It's Tuesday Night July 1st. There will be a bikini fashion show, free bowling the entire night, and a VIP Corona Reception from 8-9pm. We had a huge turnout last year and everybody had a blast. You must be on the list to get into the VIP part. Other than that just show up and have fun Barstool Style. Beach attire is obviously recommended.

 

PS - I can't stress this enough. The only way the Stool can stay in business is if people show up to these parties. We need to put asses in the seats. I don't think it's too much to ask to have everybody come and party to support us. I can think of worse things that's for sure.

 

 

— elpresidente, 2:11 pm | permalink | 33 comments


Pats Cheerleader Uniforms Showdown....New or Old?...Who Ya Got?

pc

(Former smokeshow and now the hottest Pats cheerleader Caitlin)

Vs.

o

 

First of all, I'm not sure how we haven't discussed this yet. This should have been breaking news at Stool HQ's. These new uniforms were released a couple weeks ago, but apparently I'm not on Regan Communications Press Release list. But I digress. Anyway, I like both sets of uniforms. But how can you not vote for the new ones? I mean the tops are a draw ,but the new bottoms are basically lingerie. And as a rule of thumb, anytime there is a wardrobe change that allows for me to see a chick's underwear , I consider that a step in the right direction.. At this rate the chicks will be naked by 2011. It's just a shame that Quinn won't be around to wear the new uniforms.

PS - Who the fuck is the chick next to Quinn on her right? How have I not talked about her yet? Shame on me.

 

Vote 1 for the old ones and 10 for the new ones.

— elpresidente, 1:42 pm | permalink | 22 comments


Guess That Ass

— elpresidente, 12:39 pm | permalink | 18 comments


Switch-Hitter Vs. Ambidextrous Switch-Pitcher....Who Ya Got?

 

If I was this hitter I would have never given in. It's total bullshit. Why should the pitcher have the advantage? And if I was the pitcher I would have just let him hit off me whatever way he wanted and then just put one in his ear hole. That would have solved the problem for next time. But honestly I don't understand what the pitcher was getting so worked up about. The pitcher should totally have to declare first. I mean the batter can hit either way. It just doesn't seem right that he isn't allowed to hit from his strength. The pitcher can throw however he wants and create the match up that he thinks he has the best chance to win, but he shouldn't be able to make the kid hit from his weaker side on a technicality. Does that make sense?

Vote 1 for the pitcher should win this argument and 10 for the hitter

 

 

— elpresidente, 12:04 pm | permalink | 23 comments


Reader Email: Introducing The Self Proclaimed Mascots of Boston

l

 

Remember last week when we posted the above picture of the dudes dressed in Solo Cups during the Celtics post game celebration and said the following;

This I don't get. The Celtics just won their 17th World Championship and you and your buddy celebrate by dressing up as solo cups? I mean obviously these guys aren't Celtics fans, but still why would you do this? Are you that desperate for attention? I guess it's kind of funny but more in a "gee what an asshole these guys are"type of way.

 Well these dudes have written in to clarify who they are and why they were dressed as Solo Cups for the celebration….

 

Reader Email

Dear 'elpresidente' from BarStoolSports.com,

Greetings from the Boston Red Cups! A fan showed us a link to your site with a picture of us on it and unfortunately after reading your blog it appears there was some confusion about who we are, our Boston pride, and our asshole-like intent. It even stirred some entertaining comments about us from your readers, which we will be sure to forward to our parents and grandmothers.

So to clear this confusion:

We are the Boston Red Cups, the "Unofficial Mascots of Boston." For the past two years we've pumped up Sox fans outside of Fenway Park after nearly every Sox win, frequently danced along the streets of Boston and in Faneuil Hall, ran in the last two Boston Marathons, participated in parades, etc.

Luckily we live right next to Fenway Park, so we're able to hit up Sox games very often. Unfortunately because of the proximity of TD Banknorth, however, it is extremely tough getting to Celtics games. But a Celtics championship jubilation could not be missed, so we made the trip down to celebrate with Boston's finest.

Desperate for attention ( or "attention whores" as one reader put it)? Well, maybe not whores (although we can't complain about "taking pictures with women and hitting on them"- HomersBBBq), but we certainly do want as many people to enjoy our performance as we can (just like your blog, I feel like you'd want as many people as you can to read it and enjoy it...attention whore!). We are street performers (not assholes), so of course we want a crowd, but we do it all in the love for Boston and putting smiles on peoples' faces (as 'faggot' as that sounds, thanks HomersBBBq). I mean, c'mon, we wouldn't be going out half-naked with nothing but trash cans for no money if people didn't enjoy it and if it didn't add to the overall experience of the particular event (we don't start off the day with a coffee, newspaper, and desperate hopes to be assholes).

Sorry for the long email, it's just we hate to be categorized with the drunk punks who were destroying things after the game. We never drink, never curse, are always fan-friendly, are on good terms with the cops, and are always looking to have a good time.

Please feel free to check us out once our website is complete in about a week or so (www.bostonredcups.com). 

(or check out FOX Sports' Screwballs blog with some videos on the Cups:

Red Cups Are Coming

Red Cups II


Good luck with your endeavors!

Sincerely,

"those dildos in the Solo Cup outfits" (Billerica Indian)

Willard Johnson aka 'Fenway Flip'
& Glenn Geesman aka 'Big Red'


The Boston RedCups
www.BostonRedCups.com

Okay so it turns out these guys are street performers which means I was right.  They are desperate for attention as that is the very definition of being a street performer.  Or as they put it, they’re looking for attention the same way I’m looking for people to read the Stool.  I guess that makes sense.    I’m still not buying that they are the “unofficial mascots of Boston” though.   I mean the Red People from Fenway are more well known than these guys. Not only had I'd never heard of them before this email, but not one reader emailed us to clarify who they were, but I guess you got to start somewhere right?    Personally I think they got to stop using the “we’re too far away from North Station excuse”.     I mean do you want to become the official mascots of Boston or not?     You can’t just show up to a couple Red Sox games and expect people to know who you are.   You got to be everywhere all at once.   It’s just the nature of being the unofficial mascot of Title Town USA.

PS – These guys claim they don’t drink, but they’re carrying solo cups with them.  You think that is just part of the routine or do you think they’re sneaky throwing drinks back?   Personally I don't know how it's possible to do this shit sober, but that’s just me.

— elpresidente, 11:24 am | permalink | 57 comments


City Councilman Who Tried To Ban Ice Cream Trucks Now Wants Meters To Run Till 2am

k

 

 

Boston.com - More than five years have passed since the required time for feeding thousands of parking meters east of Massachusetts Avenue was extended from 6 to 8 p.m., matching the schedule for meters in the Back Bay business district and the downtown financial district. Now, City Councilor Sal LaMattina wants to add another six hours, meaning that meters would have to be fed all the way to 2 a.m., adding about $2 million to the estimated $10 million of revenue generated annually by the city's nearly 6,300 meters.. And though it would be an added burden on customers of late-night eateries and clubs, one local business group thinks it could help customers by freeing up parking spaces at night.

 

Honestly this is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard in my life.    Actually check that.  This is the 2nd dumbest idea.  The first one was when the same Sal LaMattina tried to ban ice cream trucks from playing the ice cream truck jingle because it woke him up from a nap one time.    But this is a close second.  Basically what this guy is saying is that everybody who drives into the city needs to park in a garage now.   In other words let’s punish all the people who go out at night and are already spending a shitload of money to support the bars, clubs and restaurants in Boston.   Let’s make it so expensive and such a pain in the ass for people to drive into Boston that everybody just stays home and the entire city fucking dies.     I mean between the cost of gas and parking, people will have to save up like their going on vacation just to spend one night in the city.  Because make no mistake about it. There is no way you can go out and feed a meter until 2am.  Sal LaMattina must own a couple garages or valet services in Boston or something.  How else could anybody be this stupid?   Yeah let’s raise a couple million in parking tickets by costing the service industry quadruple that in lost revenue.  Genius. Dude stick with trying to ban ice cream truck music. That's clearly more your speed.

— elpresidente, 10:45 am | permalink | 11 comments


Red Sox New Rain Delay Video - Manny Delcarmen and Paps Sing Blame It On the Rain


Rain delay
Uploaded by bsap11

 

I haven't been to Fenway this year. Is this video new or have they been playing this for every rain delay? It's pretty hilarious.

— elpresidente, 10:02 am | permalink | 13 comments


Wake Up with Diane Kruger

DK

More Diane here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com

— unclebuck, 9:34 am | permalink | 10 comments