Random Thoughts

Are the Celts really only -4 tonight? HA! HA! What a joke. How much money can a guy win on one series? It's almost a shame it has to end!

Mortal Lock - Celtics -4.

PS - After the game is over tonight feel free to click on our NSFW celebration video which is something of a tradition here at the Stool after every major Boston championship. But please be patient and wait until the game is offically over.

Introducing Brooke from Curry.   I get the feeling with Brooke that she is one of these girls that you meet one night and then you wake up the next morning and you’re like “hey wait a minute I think I love that girl” and you don’t even know how it happened.

We need more smokeshow nominations.   Send them to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click Here for more pics of Brooke

Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., who threatened a congressional inquiry into the way the National Football League handled its "Spygate" investigation of the New England Patriots' videotaping practices, said he will not seek hearings on the matter,the Philadelphia Daily News reported.

Specter, the ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, has been critical of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell's investigation of the Patriots' taping of opposing team coaches' signals -- a practice violating NFL rules. But he told the newspaper's editorial board on Monday that "I've gone as far as I can" with his office's investigation of the matter. Specter said he didn't seek a hearing on Spygate before the judiciary committee because the committee already has "too much to do," the Daily News reported.

On behalf of Patriots fans in particular, football fans in general, and the taxpayers of America, I think it's only right that we thank Sen. Specter for his tireless and relentless pursuit of truth and justice in this whole matter. I know it must be a crushing blow to him to have to curtail his investigation. But even a dedicated public servant like the good senator from PA can only do so much. But still, his efforts are appreciated by a grateful nation. And I say that with all the sincerity he's shown through this long national nightmare.

Dispensing now with the sarcasm, has Specter no shame? To steal a phrase, at long last, have you no sense of decency, sir? If there's a limit to how much BS this pompous, lying gasbag expects us to swallow, we haven't yet reached it. Here we are with the Patriots fully exonerated, weeks after Specter found himself the last person in the country to think the Patriots had done anything more than they admitted to... and paid dearly for... and he still refuses to admit he was wrong. When he thought there was something to this story, no microphone or camera in the country was safe. Specter appeared everywhere from CSPAN to ESPN to your nephew's webcam demanding everyone pay attention to him. But now that the Patriots, the NFL and even Matt Walsh de-pants him and left his shriveled, flaccid junk exposed to the world, he runs and hides with some preposterous press release about being "too busy" to deal with trivialities like this. To call it an insult to our intelligence would be... an insult to our intelligence.

But knowing what we know about Specter, I'm not surprised in the least. What would've been surprising is if he'd said "Look, I was wrong here, and I'm sorry. I deliberately wasted your time and money. I got caught up in the moment because not only am I an Eagles fan, I'm also a grandstanding attention whore. I had no business throwing false allegations at the Patriots just to win votes among PA football fans. I promise you I'll stop this utter nonsense and get to work keeping soldiers safe and bringing down gas prices. Sorry again for being such douche about all this." But I guess that would be too much to ask. I mean, John Tomase never apologized, why should some filthy politician?

Sportingnews.com - LA Lakers guard Sasha Vujacic let the Boston Celtics get to him in Game 5, and he says that's because they play too rough, the Los Angeles Times reports. "Phil (Jackson) told me after the game that he thought I was a big emotional. And I think he was right," Vujacic told the newspaper. "It all started from that poke in the eye (by Celtics guard Sam Cassell). I got a little bit mad because the ref was right there and he didn't call it." Vujacic also thought Cassell should have had a foul called on him when he appeared to slam Vujacic down onto the court while they wrestled for a loose ball. Vujacic said later he thought it was on purpose, though television analysts said they believed Vujacic was acting a bit and made the fall look worse than it was. "They foul a lot. They get away with a lot of fouls," Vujacic said. "When we go back to Boston, we know that they are going to do a lot of moving picks like they do, and they're probably going to get away with it. Vujacic doesn't place all the blame on the officials, though. "It's hard to see," he told the Times. "They're doing it so quick that not everybody can see it. You can't blame anyone."

Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh poor Sasha Vujacic. The Celts are playing too rough for him wah, wah, wah! He got poked in the eye, wah, wah, wah. Sam Cassell threw him to the ground, wah, wah, wah. I love how LA is so soft. It's going to be like taking candy from a baby tonight.

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Is this the best showdown we've ever had? It very well maybe. I'd like to think of it as a tribute to the late great Jim McKay because if these videos don't sum up the thrill of victory and agony of defeat then I don't know what does. It all started innocently enough when I saw the video of the Teacher Saran Wrap race today. It got me thinking to some other great dramatic race finishes that I've seen. My favorite is still the bikini race from Hollywood Park. I mean Blazing Blondie had this thing wrapped up. It almost makes me nervous. I mean if Blazing Blondie can blow this race than maybe the Celtics can lose the NBA Finals after all? Anyway here are my favorites....

1. Blazing Blonde

2. Teacher Saran Wrap Race

3. Bike Rider

4. Marathoner.

Click Here For the Answer

For the 2nd time this week ESPN has been forced to apologize to Boston.   First it was an ESPN Ombudsman (Ombudsman apparently means person who is smarter than the average ESPN idiot they got working there) saying that their biased coverage of Spygate was a farce and a disgrace to modern journalism and then today it was an apology from the network for Jemele Hill’s article in which she said rooting for the Celtics is like rooting for Hitler.      And all of this coming on the same day that Arlen Specter has said he has given up on Spygate because there is nothing more to it.   Still no apology from ESPN for all the ridiculous shit Greg Easterbrooks has said, but I’m sure that is coming soon too.   Now I know what everybody is thinking.    ESPN should be ashamed of themselves.     They need to clean house and fire all the idiots they got working their like Jemele Hill, Mark Schlerth, Gregg Easterbrooks Merrill Hodge, Steve Young etc.    That it’s not fair that they continually run wild with bullshit stories just to create buzz, make shit up, disparage Boston, and then basically get a slap on the wrist when it becomes obvious they’ve fucked up.    But to be honest I don’t care.  I stopping thinking ESPN was a legitimate news outlet years ago.   Anybody who cares what Jemele Hill or any of those other morons think is nuts.    And to be honest, I love how every article that ESPN writes as well as every blog in the universe is almost always about us.  Listen to quote Reggie Jackson “fans don’t boo nobody’s.”    The reason everybody hates us is because they are jealous that we are the CENTER of the universe.    Everybody wants to knock off because we are king of the mountain and have been for almost 10 years now.  So naturally we’re going to have ton of haters.  It just comes with the territory.       But there is nothing better in life than knowing everybody hates you and wants you to lose and you just keep winning and rubbing their face in it.      All the bullshit will only make the Celtics parade that much sweeter as we get drunk celebrating yet another world championship while pissing right in Jemele Hill’s eyeball.

NEW YORK -- Yankees ace Chien-Ming Wang is expected to be sidelined until at least September after injuring his foot running the bases, prompting club co-chairman Hank Steinbrenner to chastise the National League for playing without a designated hitter.

An examination in New York yesterday showed Wang partially tore a tendon and sprained his right foot Sunday during the Yankees' 13-0 interleague win at Houston. He will be on crutches and wear a protective boot for a minimum of six weeks, the latest blow to the team's banged-up pitching staff.

"My only message is simple. The National League needs to join the 21st century," Steinbrenner said in Tampa. "They need to grow up and join the 21st century.

"Am I [mad] about it? Yes," Steinbrenner added. "I've got my pitchers running the bases, and one of them gets hurt. He's going to be out. I don't like that, and it's about time they address it. That was a rule from the 1800s."

Making a rare appearance on the bases at an NL park, Wang pulled up rounding third and hobbled home on Derek Jeter's single.

Wang doubled over after scoring, pointed toward his right foot and was helped off the field.

Well once again, Hank Steinbrenner is right on the money.  He was right when he called Red Sox Nation a joke in spring training... he was right about making Joba a starter and he’s right about this one too.  Baseball traditionalists can go fuck themselves on this because as everybody knows after watching these interleague games, having pitchers hit is becoming the biggest joke in sports next to the refs in the NBA.  The Yankees just lost their #1 starter because of a rule from 150 years ago.  How about we go back to when blacks weren’t allowed to play and balls that bounced over the fence counted as homeruns.  Does that sound fair?  While we’re at it, let’s start churning butter again and riding horses to work. A pitcher’s hitting stats don’t even count in fantasy leagues so that should tell you all you need to know. 

Sure, the Yankees, per usual, will find a way to make the playoffs. I have no idea how but they will. Hey, as everybody knows, the 27th championship is always the toughest one to win. After tonight, 10 more for the Celtics and you’ll see what I mean. 

This dude is not impressed.

Memo to the world.  It’s over.    The fat lady has sung.    Elvis has left the building.   There is no way Northeastern won’t be rioting tonight for the SIXTH time this decade.  You might as well book your parade plans now.    Because I don’t care how many chicks Kobe rapes tonight or how much  Dan Shaughnessy and the rest of the Boston media pray for a collapse it won’t help.   There is nothing the Lakers can do to stop the inevitable.     But before we celebrate I owe Paul Pierce an apology.   Because before this series started I said that the Pierce vs. Kobe match up was almost a draw.   Shame on me. That was a total insult to Pierce.   If anything Pierce is better than Bryant.      Listen I’m one of those guys that always knew Pierce was good, but I never thought he was a top 5 or top 3 player in the league. Boy was I wrong.   To their credit, the Red’s Army guys had this pegged from the start.   They’ve always maintained that Pierce was better than Bryant and that was before this year even started.  And unlike me they even had the stats to back it up.   Now the world has finally gotten to see just how great and under appreciated Paul Pierce is.     His playoff run has arguably been the best in the history of the Celtics.   The guy is doing everything.     Not only is he scoring but he’s shut down and dominated both Lebron James and Kobe Bryant who are supposedly the two best players in the game.   He’s been the best player on the floor almost every night.   Let me put it this way; if we had Kobe Bryant and the Lakers had Paul Pierce we probably would have been swept.  And If Kobe was playing like Pierce everybody would still be saying how he is better than Jordan.    So from the bottom of my heart Paul I apologize to you for not giving you the credit you deserve.  I guess I should have noticed this all last year when you got hurt and the Celtics went from an above .500 team to losing like 73 straight games.    So people can suck Kobe Bryant’s dick all they want.    Bottom-line is I’ll be drinking and celebrating at McFadden’s tonight courtesy of Playoff MVP Paul Pierce.

PS - If you don't go to McFadden's or somewhere to celebrate tonight you have no soul. I mean it's the first time since 69...I mean 86. Yes I have the below video on repeat all day. Laaaaaaaaarrrrrrryyyyy Biiiiiiiirrrrrrrdddddd.....

ABC.com - In a remote village in the Bihar region of northeast India, in October 2005, a woman named Poonam Tatma gave birth to an extraordinary child -- a girl with four arms and four legs who was destined to become famous worldwide.

Fucking India. What the hell do they think they're doing over there? Listen it's one thing to have a couple freakshows. But every two seconds it's something new. This has to be a vast government conspiracy right? But why? The only thing I can think of is that it's to boost tourism. They're hoping that instead of people going to the Topsfield Fair to see the world's fattest man they'll flock to India to see Tree Man, Boy with Two Heads and The Girl with 8 limbs all at once. It's kind of brilliant when you think of it.

NEW YORK (AP) -- A college student who branded a date's body with a scalding piece of metal as payback for never calling her after they had sex was sentenced to five years in prison Friday. Kristina Caban, 23, had no comment as state Supreme Court Justice Michael Obus sentenced her for what he called a crime that was "not remotely justifiable." Assistant District Attorney Nicole Blumberg told Obus that Caban was the "mastermind behind the plan" to sear the torso of Samir "Sammy" Sara, then 23, for having sex with her once in 2004 and never calling her again.Caban enlisted new boyfriend Robert Testagrossa to help brand a four-inch-high "R" on Samir's abdomen in October 2006, the prosecutor said. She said Caban lured the former lover to a hotel room, where Testagrossa and another man grabbed him. Blumberg said the men used a Taser to immobilize Sara in a room at the Chelsea Inn while Caban laughed at his distress and kicked him while he was down.The branding "iron" was actually a length of metal wire fashioned into a "R" -- heated, and applied to Samir's torso, said Tracy Golden of the Manhattan district attorney's office. She said prosecutors did not know what the "R" stood for.

Ah, it’s a story as old as time itself.  Boy meets girl.   Boy fucks girl and doesn’t call her afterwards.   Girl lures boy to hotel room with the promise of more sex only to tase him and brand a giant “R” on his ass.    My only question is who is more nuts here?  The chick or the new boyfriend?  I mean if this girl is willing to brand a dude she had a one night stand with imagine what she’ll do to you if you fuck her over in a long term relationship.  You’re basically begging to have a bag of red ants dropped on your balls.

PS - What do you think the"R" stand for?

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Listen I’m not proud of the fact that I love watching little kids get whomped.     I wish I didn’t enjoy it so much, but I do.    If that makes me an asshole than so be it.    Just keep in mind all of these kids survived these accidents unharmed.   Well maybe not the kid who got kicked in the face by the break dancer, but everybody else was fine.   Anyway my favorite video was the 2nd one, soccer ball to the face.   I think it’s the camera work that pushed this one over the edge for me.  It’s just the perfect angle to watch this little girl get decked.   And you can’t draw up a better reaction either. It’s the perfect flop.   She should win an ESPY for that performance.

There's so much Alessandra to enjoy UB had to split it up into two days...So here's part one of your Wake Up with Alessandra Ambrosia...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com