Random Thoughts

Just as a warning for all our female stoolies out there. After the Lakers lose tonight there will be a pissed off rapist running around our city so just be careful.

Celts in 6....Book It!

Phil Collins + Lakers vs. Celts + NBA Finals = Bring it!

I'll see everybody at McFadden's. Beat LA! Beat LA! Beat LA! And yes we'll post a live blog for all you losers who don't like to drink and hang out.

Introducing Brittany from Salem and Umass grad.   You know what the key to being a good leader is?  You got to know when to break down the troops and then build them back up.  Yesterday I gave everybody a little tongue lashing for not sending me any smokeshows and the Stoolies responded with the best outpouring of smokeshow support in the history of the Stool.  Chicks were coming from every angle.   It was almost impossible to pick out what girl I should feature today.   Lots of great candidates so I thank everybody who sent them in.    But I gave Brittany the nod today because she had two pictures that were different from everybody else’s.    Well 3 if you count the one with Carlton.   But I’m talking about the 2 very NSFW work photos that we got of her.  And in honor of the Lakers vs. Celts series starting tonight I felt like we needed something special.  And by special I mean smokeshow nudity. 

And as a reminder we’re always looking for smokeshows.   Without submission we won’t be able to continue. So if you know any girls please send them our way.  And if you already did but think we forgot about your girl or the girl got lost in the shuffle feel free to resend them.  Organization is not our strong suit at the Stool and I’ll never get mad at anybody for resending a smokeshow.

Click here for the normal smokeshow pics of Brittany. 

Click here for the members only picture

(If Pete Manzo doesn't make you money tomorrow the rest of his TVG picks are free)

There is so much shit going on right now it would be real easy to forget that tomorrow is TVG day here at the Stool.  Pete “The Shoe” Manzo is slaving away in front of the Daily Racing Form as we speak handicapping the entire Belmont card for Friday.  We will be posting all his picks 10 minutes before each race.  And every race will be streamed on TVG.    You’d be a fool not get in on this action.

WHDH.com - Police in Hartford, Conn. are looking for the unidentified driver who struck down an elderly man in broad daylight May 30 on a busy downtown street. Angel Arce Torres, 78, was paralyzed after being run over by a dark Honda that was chasing a tan Toyota.

Holy Fuck! What else can you say about this? The guy who hit him is screwed but it really wasn't his fault at all. He had no chance to avoid this guy. And I'm not going to sit here and say he's an asshole because he didn't stop. I don't think there is any way to predict how you'll react in this situation. All I know is that I'd shit myself if this happened to me. I bet he ends up coming forward, but it may be too late.

PS - Do you think the guy on the ground was kind of looking around saying "little help here" or what?

UPDATE! UPDATE!

Totally ignore what I said above. I totally misremembered this video. I thought this was a two lane road going the same way. I don't know how I fucked that up. I thought the guy walked into oncoming traffic. I was TOTALLY wrong.

People keep bitching and moaning that we’re running too many ads on www.barstoolsports.com.   Well I have a question for all those douchebags out there.    If I don’t sell ads then how am I going to afford to buy these thousand dollar Kevin Garnett sneakers?   Because lord knows they ain’t buying themselves.     So shut your ass up and help support our friends atMiller Lite who will be dominating North Station for the first two games of the NBA finals. The Miller Lite girls giving away all sorts of shwag including Beat LA tshirts and hats at the following locations to people drinking the Celtics bottles.

1. The Harp

200 Portland St
Boston, MA 02114
(617) 742-1010

2. Game On!

82 Lansdowne St
Boston, MA 02215
(617) 351-7001

3. Grand Canal

57 Canal St
Boston, MA 02114
(617) 523-1112

4. Sports Grille Boston

132 Canal St
Boston, MA 02114
(617) 367-9302

5. McFadden’s

 148 State St
Boston, MA 02109
(617) 227-5100

PS - Bird drank Miller Lite

WHITEHALL - In case you were wondering, a motorized cooler on wheels is a motor vehicle under state law. A Whitehall man learned that on Memorial Day, when he was charged with driving while intoxicated after police pulled him over for swerving and driving on the sidewalk on a four-wheeled, motorized cooler known as a "Cruzin Cooler." Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, could face felony DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle charges because of prior arrests and convictions in drinking-and-driving cases, said Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle. The electricity-powered Cruzin Cooler that Marr was riding contained 14 beers, the chief said. LaChapelle said Whitehall Police Patrolman Andrew Mija stopped Marr at about 7:45 p.m. after the officer saw Marr swerving and preparing to cross William Street on the motorized cooler. The machine has handlebars, and its operator sits on a seat atop the cooler, LaChapelle said. "We were told it can do up to 12 mph," the chief said.


From the minute I started Barstool Sports I always knew this day would come.  It’s the age old question of whether driving a motorized cooler while intoxicated should be considered drunken driving?    Personally I think it all depends on whether the driver can beat the cooler in a match race or not.    Keep in mind the cooler only goes 12 mph.     I’m a firm believer that no man should be charged with a DUI if they can out run the vehicle they are operating.   I’m pretty sure this rule is even in the constitution. So forget the breathalyzer test.   Once the cops busted this guy they needed to have him race it.  If he wins he’s free.  If he loses than he gets busted.   End of story.

While this looks like a ton of fun, it is also absolutely a no brainer that somebody will eventually die from doing this. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do, but it's just a statement of fact. I guess to quote Bohdi, you need to take big risks if you want big rewards.

Boston.com - Frustrated by the sight of unkempt and abandoned newspaper boxes, Mayor Thomas M. Menino has proposed sweeping new regulations and fees for their placement, a move that has some cash-strapped publishers complaining the mayor is limiting their ability to freely distribute newspapers on city streets. Menino says the city has been receiving complaints that news boxes are sometimes filled with trash, that they impede access for wheelchairs, and that some are chained to street signs or placed insecurely. "The problem is they get so dirty, and some of these companies don't even care," Menino said in an interview. "You find there's rubbish in them for weeks, and we've got to do something." The proposed new rules would cap at 300 the number of boxes a publisher could place in the city and charge them $25 per box annually. The publishers would also have to pay a $300 fee annually to receive a certificate of compliance. 

Fucking Menino!   You got to love this guy.   Hey buddy I got a crazy idea.   If you’re so fucking worried about the racks being dirty and filled with trash why don’t you have the DPW guys who sit around and do nothing all day except barbecue and watch TV go and clean them up.   Or I got another wacky idea for you.  How about putting more trash cans out?   Because the only time people throw shit in them is when there is no trash can within 5 miles of the racks.   That probably makes too much sense huh?     And who is complaining about them anyway?   A couple old bags from Beacon Hill?   If I wasn’t so lazy I’d organize a phone blitz where every fucking newspaper in this city has their readers call City Hall and complain that they can’t get the paper they want.  We’ll shut this fucking city down.     It’s ridiculous.     I bet if you put this to a vote on whether to allow the news racks or get rid of them the news racks would win 97% to 3%.  But it’s the 3% of assholes with too much time on their hands that complain about it. 

PS – I love how the city charges a permit for the racks but still feels like they have the right to steal them whenever they want and throw them in the city dump where wild cats make houses out of them.  Only in Boston baby! Seriously my dream is to see Menino walking down the street one day and throw a wild cat in his face and see how he likes it.

Double PS - Instead of worrying about shit nobody cares about how about getting the subway to run for more than 15 minutes after the game tonight so drunk drivers aren't flying all over the place killing each other? I guess that would be to useful a cause for Menino to get involved in.

I love video mashups when they're clever and well excuted. Which is why this one is an airball for me. The premise is all wrong. KG should be the hero and Kobe Bryant the supervillain. Batman protects female hotel employees, he doesn't rape them. I give it a "1." (Thanks to Shane.)

Defense wins championships, or so I've heard. This is the number one reason why the Celtics will beat the Lakers in the NBA Finals. And then there's the Big 3. Throughout the playoffs, the C's have proven they can win with 2 of the 3 playing well. If Kobe struggles, the Lakers lose. If Pierce struggles, the Celtics still have a great chance of winning. Get it?

Rajon Rondo vs Derek Fisher: This matchup scares me. As Jeff Van Gundy has astutely pointed out, Rondo hasn't played great 1-on-1 defense. And while he has an impressive turnover-to-assist ratio, he remains unreliable on offense. Fisher has shot well in the playoffs. He also has a knack for knocking down crunch-time jumpers. And with the defense collapsing on Kobe, chances are he'll have some open looks. Edge - Fisher.

Ray Allen vs Kobe Bryant: We're all glad the old Ray Allen is back and I'm confident he'll stick around for this series. When Ray's on his game, the Celtics can hang with any team offensively. Kobe is Kobe. How the Celtics attack him remains to be seen. Will they beat him up or force him to shoot from the perimeter? I don't think it matters because the dude is still going to average 30+ pts. Ray clearly can't stop Bryant but he can force him to work on the defensive end. If the point differential between these guys is 10 or so, we'll be alright. Edge - Kobe.

Paul Pierce vs Vladimir Radmanovic: Pierce dropped the hammer on both the Cavs and Pistons with clutch performances. He'll be able to do anything he wants with VladRad. I expect Phil Jackson to shuffle defenders. Radmanovic can do very little but spot up and hit jumpers. He's a super soft 6-10. Edge - Pierce.

Kevin Garnett vs Lamar Odom: He's been the Celtics most consistent scorer and rebounder throughout the playoffs. There isn't a single person on the Lakers roster who can guard him. Even though it's not his nature to force things, KG should be more aggressive. At the very least, get to the free throw line a bit more. (Sick of hearing this point?) Despite a few rough games, Odom's played pretty well. He'll need to continue rebounding well to keep the C's off the offensive glass. Edge - Garnett.

Kendrick Perkins vs Pau Gasol: For lack of an original phrase, Perk is a beast. At least in some games. The Lakers are not physical down low and if Perkins is smart about it, he should be able to push guys around and own the paint. Gasol is a damn good offensive player. He can score and pass. Depending on who's on the floor at the time, KG could cover him and most likely - shut him down. Edge: Gasol.

Benches: Now that Lindsey Hunter is gone, look for Eddie House to re-emerge. I have this feeling Doc will use Leon Powe to guard the Laker bigs who love to roam. Posey will get plenty of minutes on Kobe. PJ Brown will continue to see quality minutes. As for the Lakers, what's the big deal about Vujacic, Walton, Farmar and Turiaf? I don't see how the Lakers bench is decidely better than Boston's. Edge - Even

Doc Rivers vs Phil Jackson: Phil Jackson is the most overrated coach of all-time. But this is clearly the least-talented team he's ever brought to the Finals. Doc continues to rub people the wrong way with his lack of a consistent rotation - but it's working. And he never gets credit for the making the right moves (playing Posey instead of Ray for the 4th quarter of Game 6 against Detroit). While Jackson is the more experienced guy, I don't see coaching playing a major role in this series. We've all seen basketball players in the huddles during timeouts, half of them aren't even paying attention. Edge - Even.

The Lakers may have the best player, but the Celtics have more better players. That - along with defense, rebounding and home court advantage will be enough to win this series in 6 games.

Chuck - Red's Army

Everybody and their grandmother has been sending me this video. I haven't blogged it yet because I'm 100% convinced that it's fake. I mean the monitors aren't even plugged in? Usually I'm pretty gullible with this type of stuff so it's pretty bad if I'm calling bullshit. There isn't anybody on planet earth who thinks this is real is there? Don't get me wrong, I hope it's real, but I'm just not buying it. Personally I think people who make fake youtubes should be executed. It just ruins the entire integrity of the Internet.

Vote 1 for real and 10 for fake

At the start of the Celtics-Pistons Eastern Conference Finals, we brought you the series preview you couldn't get anywhere else: in-depth analysis of the key cheerleader matchups. And as a result, home court advantage was reduced to virtually nothing, the road team won half the games and the Celtics won in six. You're welcome.

It won't be quite so easy this time. The Celtics Dancers are squaring off against the legendary Lakers Girls, arguably the most celebrated squad in NBA history. And the Laker Girls are hard to scout; their website bios are almost completely devoid of pertinent information. Unlike the Pistons' Automotion team's site where you found out, for example, that three different girls' favorite food is Mac & Cheese, the Laker Girls are very guarded with their personal info. With that in mind, click here to see how the units matchup...

LOWELL -- Senator J. James Marzilli Jr. used the name of a fellow lawmaker when he was arrested Tuesday for allegedly trying to grope a woman on a park bench, telling police he was Martin Walsh, who is a state representative from Dorchester, a prosecutor said today in court. Police threatened Marzilli with pepper spray after a foot chase through downtown Lowell  because he would not put his hands above his head, according to a police report read in court by prosecutor Richard M. Mucci. Marzilli, 50, initially told officers his name was Martin Walsh, he lived in Medford, and was born in 1958. However, he soon revealed his true identity and told police, "you don't understand ... I'm a state senator.'' "The defendant began to cry," Mucci said, reading from the police report. "He said they could not arrest him, that his life was over." 

Listen I ain’t mad at this guy for groping a chick and blaming it on the guy from Dorchester. I mean who hasn’t done that?    But on a park bench in Lowell?  That is very unsenatorial.  Do me a favor and leave the park bench assaults to the bums and deranged people. Seriously you’d think a Senator would be smart enough to know that you always grope girls in crowed places like the subway or a club so they don’t even know what happened.  It’s kind of tough to justify voting for a guy who isn’t smart enough to figure this out.  I mean how are you going to get a Casino built in MA if you can’t even grab a chick’s ass without getting caught?

If any of the Celtics have a hard time getting up for the game tonight maybe they just need a refresher on what Celtic Pride is all about. Its amazing how much harder this video was to do than the Patriots one, considering the Cs have 16 world championships so it was hard to include anything that didn't include a mob blanketing the parquet floor.

So sit back and enjoy UB's version of Celtic Pride as we count down the minutes to tip off...

BEAT LA, BEAT LA, BEAT LA

This is Christina Stefanidi. She's a model. She's Greek. I mention that just to illustrate that Barstool Sports celebrates diversity, and for no other reason. Get your mind out of the gutter. Click here to see much more of Christina...