Random Thoughts

FRAMINGHAM — Police say they arrested a drunken local woman who stumbled into a Lindsay Street home Saturday afternoon, assaulted the homeowner, spit at officers, resisted arrest and refused to be fingerprinted. Yvonne A. Kadlik, 44, carried three Budweisers and an open bottle of Orange Jubilee MD 20/20 when she burst into 41 Lindsay St. at about 4 p.m. and screamed, "This is my house!" police spokesman Lt. Paul Shastany said. "She's yelling at the lawful owner, 'Why are you in my family's house?"' Shastany said. "She's told to leave and refuses and pushes the lady." The homeowner was able to force Kadlik out of the house, as police arrived to find the suspect slurring with red, glassy and bloodshot eyes, Shastany said.

Is anybody even remotely surprised by this story?  I mean what do you expect to happen when you start mixing Bud Heavies with Orange Jubilee on Memorial Day Weekend?    You can’t help but to just start claiming other people’s shit as your own.   This is my house bitches!   Hilarious.   This lady is just lucky she didn’t end up lying on a deserted beach in a 3rd world country or something.  Because that’s what Orange Jubille will do to you.  It’ll fuck your shit up.

Gonzalez’ death a stunner

The players and coaching staff were stunned by the news that former Red Sox pitcher Geremi Gonzalez, 33, was killed Sunday after being struck by lightning while water-skiing in his native Venezuela. The right-hander went 2-1 with a 6.11 ERA in 28 games (three starts) for the Sox in 2005. “Unbelievable,” designated hitter David Ortiz [ stats] said. “Man, that’s messed up.” Left fielder Manny Ramirez [ stats], who was perhaps Gonzalez’ closest friend on the Sox, said the pitcher’s death should give everyone a reminder. “It’s why you’ve got to enjoy your life and have fun,” Ramirez said. “Enjoy the little things because things can happen.”

Not to get all theological, but I'm not sure Manny... as full of wisdom as he is typically... is on the right track here. The lesson I get out of this is don't have fun, at least not active, outdoor type fun. Stay home where it's safe. No one ever got struck by lightning sitting on their couch watching "PTI" or searching Redtube videos.

Of course, I feel bad for Gonzalez. This shouldn't happen to anyone, especially someone in the prime of life like he was. But sometimes you've got to accept your fate. If God wants you so bad he's going to send a bolt of lightning to take you out while you're water skiing, well then your ticket has been punched. I'm not smart enough to understand why something like this happens, although maybe it has something to do with the fact that Gonzalez, when he was pitching for Tampa Bay, was the guy who broke Sammy Sosa's bat when it turned out to be filled with cork. First Mark McGwire beats Sosa to the HR record and becomes a laughingstock, now this. Maybe Sosa has some connection to the Almighty we haven't realized.

Introducing Adrienne from Springfield College.    Oh my god this girl his hot.  Total potato sack girl.   I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Adrienne has to be considered one of the favorites to win Smokeshow of the Year.  That’s how hot I think she is.

The weather is getting warmer which means the girls in Post Office Square are wearing less.   It’s time to find some smokeshows and send them our way at randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click here for more of Adrienne

I don't know how many people were A., inside watching golf on Sunday and B., an astute enough TV viewer to spot the dude running out of the crowd and cannonballing into the creek on 18 after Mickelson sank the putt to win the tournament. Poor Phil, even without Tiger there he manages to get overshadowed. The guy almost times it perfectly too but the actual splash was somehow missed by the buffoons at CBS.  I mean how do you not stick with the shot? That would be like the WWE missing the "roll" portion of the Honky Tonk Man's "Shake, Rattle and Roll". Anyway, splash or no splash, somebody send this guy a free Barstool hat for his effort here on 18.  

And as a side question – how much do you think he bet his buddy on this? Or do you think he did it "for the love of the game"? My guess is 100 bucks. No way I'm getting a cool shirt like that all wet for less than a 100 bucks.

EDIT: Splash found, posted above. Thanks to Hoofhearted...

The Celtics are tied with the Detroit Pistons 2-2 in the Eastern Conference Finals. Two of the final three games are in Boston. The Celtics are a good team. I'm stating the obvious because it's something overlooked by the local media -Ryan, Shaughnessy, Buckley, Felger and all of the assholes on WEEI along with the mindless sheep who read the articles and listen to their shows. The pendulum swings to the nth degree after every game. After last night's shitty effort, it's the "Big 3 Sucks", "KG passes up shots," "Ray Allen blows (ok that might be true)," "Doc is a moron," etc. Did anyone watch Saturday's game? The Celtics fucking dominated Chauncey B-B-Billups and the rest of the Deee-troit Piss-tons. Did you idiots really think they'd win two consecutive games in Detroit? If so, they you haven't watched an NBA game in the past 25 years. For some reason, there's zero confidence in this team getting to the finals. Guess what, this Pistons team is flawed. You won't find any mention of it around here, but go read some Detroit papers. It's all over the place. The Boston media loves to bitch and moan and wallow in misery. And now that this mentality doesn't apply to the Red Sox or Patriots, it's seeped onto the Celtics. Do us all a favor, you ignored the Celtics for the past 15 years, why not continue that for another 3 weeks? I'm sure there's some SpyGate bullshit you can write about.

Chuck - Red's Army

I love how they still skated the trophy around after it split in half. I thought it was just understood that once the trophy breaks it's time to call it day. Apparently not.

A big milestone today at the Stool.   No not my appearance on Boston.TV. Instead for the first time in the history of Barstool Sports one of our girls made it into Playboy.    I’m so proud I could cry.  Yup our May 1^st Cover Model Lauren and current contestant in Round II of the Smokeshow of the Month brackets was coed of the month on playboy.com.   She was also in Playboy’s most recent Fresh Faces magazine.   I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since she is wearing an  “I posed today” shirt in her smokeshow photo.  But I always thought it was something she got at Urban Outfitters or something.  Turns out Playboy gave it to her right after she showed the goodies.      God Bless her.   And let this be a lesson to all the chicks out there who wear cute little tshirts with witty slogans.    No more of that shit unless you earned it.   It takes away from the girls that really deserve to wear them like Lauren.   

PS –  The naked photos are not admissible as evidence when voting for Smokeshow of the Month because it gives Lauren an unfair advantage.    

Vs.

Do I even have to cast my vote here? I mean who are we kidding? I just wanted an excuse to post Poor Ollie again. In all my years of blogging I still don't think I've ever seen anybody get owned like Ollie did. He was picking up his teeth up off the ground by the time this melee was over. I honestly feel terrible for him. Kind of reminded me of watching a great heavyweight boxer take a beating long after he should have retired.

Vote 1 for Ollie and for 10 for the other guy

Dude, where am I?

Reader Email

Hey Pres-

So me and a bunch of friends took an all-out trip to Vegas this past weekend.  We started it off on Wednesday night and went to LAX (the club in the Luxor).  Sure enough, we get seated at our table next to Zaza Pachulia who's an absolute giant. He's deep in conversation when we first get there so I didn't bother him for awhile, giving me time to think of some retarded smartass comment to make to him.  Anyway, I finally catch his eye and wave him over to introduce myself.

Me: "Heyy, do you happen to know the score of the Celtics Pistons game last night??"

Pachulia: (pissed that i'm wasting his time) "Yes, unfortunately I do..."

Me: "Yeea, we're all from Boston so I had to bust your balls."

Pachulia: (legitimate look of concern) "You guys don't hate me do you??"

Me: "Haha of course not, can I get a picture of you headbutting me?"

Pachulia: "Absolutely not." (walks away)

Anyway.. not the best ball busting line, but the real story is i'm pretty sure his girl was "working".  If not, she's preetty damn friendly and has no right dealing with such an ugly bastard.  I'm attaching some pics of them, she's ridiculously hot, and pretty much pushing 6'4" or something...

Keep up the good work,

-Tim

First of all, don’t sell yourself short.  If you really asked Zaza for a picture of him head butting you that’s pretty much the best thing that you could do in that situation.  Even if I had 2 days to think about what I would ask or say to him that would probably be it.   But more importantly that chick he is with is SMOKING HOT!   I demand to know who she is!   I don’t think she’s a whore, but if she is than I will sell my girlfriends mother’s house today and fly to Vegas so I can fuck this chick.   That’s how hot she it.   But I’m not buying it.     There’s just no point to be a hooker when you’re this good looking.  I mean I’m pretty sure she can basically date any guy she wants to anyway.    Although it is strange that she’d be hanging out with Zaza and that shirt for free.

PS - What's up with the girl's hand? It's fucking huge! I may have to retract everything I just said about her. What hot chick has hands like that?

Am I crazy or does the Big Heavy have a chance to become a cult hero in Boston? Everybody knows that we love our fat guys. And they don't come any fatter than Bartolo Colon. Guy was lights out last night and is now 2-0 on the season. What I don't get is how easily the Sox were able to sign this guy. Yeah I know he's been injured the last two seasons, but he was one of the best pitchers in baseball over the past decade. You just think that more teams would have been willing to take a flier on somebody like this. Worst case scenario is that it doesn't work out and you're out like 10 cents. I wonder if Brian Cashman even realized this was a possibility or whether he found out only after the Sox had already signed him. Honestly it seems like Theo is 9 steps ahead of the Yankees on everything. I guess that's why we're awesome and they suck now?

PS - One more Bartolo win and I may have to print up the "Big Heavy" tshirts.

The big news in the world of women's tennis is that Ashley Harkleroad has agreed to pose for Playboy. So the next logical question is do we care? This one is kind of a no brainer for me. I could care fucking less. Call me when they get Maria Sharipova or Ana Kournikova to pose. Because I wouldn't recognize Ashley Harkleroad if she slapped me across the face with her tits. And while I'm always up for looking at hot naked chicks, Harkleroad doesn't do anything for me. I mean she's cute ,but I wouldn't go out of my way to beat off to her or anything like that. Bottom line is that if you want to get me excited about a chick posing in Playboy then it better be somebody famous, somebody I know or somebody who is super hot. Unfortunately Ashley Harkleroad fits none of those categories.

I might as well get this shit over with. Last week I was asked by Boston.TV to shoot this segment for them. They also asked that I put a link to it on our website. I didn't know how to say no. And trust me when I say I wanted to say no to this more than anything I've ever wanted to say no to before in my life. Yes, I know I look like a total dickhead. Yes, I know I sound like a dickhead. Yes, I know I'm swaying in the breeze like a dickhead. (They told me to move around so I didn't get teleprompter eyes) So go ahead and rip me to shreds and get it over with. And remember; I am you leader!

PS - I did one of these per day for the rest of the week, but I'm not linking to it ever again. Burn it!

More Misty here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com