Random Thoughts
BEAT L.A.
Oh wait? The Pistons series isn't over yet? Sorry to get ahead of myself. It's just that the Pistons are such a joke. Hell we may even win a road game this serious just to rub it in.
Celtics Game 1 "What A Difference A Year Makes" Live Blog
Vs.
This will be the easiest 7 game series of all time. Pistons might as well not even show up. Celts in 7. Book it.
Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day (Elaina)
Introducing Elaina from West Boylston. Any chick who wears a Barstool Sports Cover as a bra is okay by me.
We need smokeshows. And if you're going to send us a girl please send 10 photos of her so we can use her. This way she doesn't have to accept us as a facebook friend which can sometimes be a slippery slope. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com
Announcing Barstool Sports Prohibition Party Next Friday Night!
It’s time to announce our next big Barstool Extravaganza! We are throwing a Prohibition Party to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the repeal of the Prohibition. Seems like a great reason to drink right? And here is the even better news for all those Stoolies who always bitch about our parties being on weekdays. This baby is on a Friday Night so there is NO EXCUSE not to be there. It is taking place Friday, May 30th at Felt. The doors open at 8pm for a Bud reception from 8-9pm You must be on our VIP guest list to get into this part of the night. We’re expecting a huge crowd so please RSVP early. Send your name to prohibition@barstoolsports.com. We will respond within a week to confirm. Please have every person in your party email INDIVIDUALLY unless you’re a super hot girl. They can do whatever the hell they want. People are strongly encouraged to come dressed in 1930’s gear. People dressed up will be given preference in line.
Highlights Include
- Barstool Girls
- Live Band
- Bud Reception
- Overall Mayhem
WHEN: Friday May 30th
Time: 8pm
Where: Felt
Cetlics Dancers vs. the Pistons Automotion: The Matchups
The Celtics are 8-0 at home in the playoffs, 0-6 on the road. How can this be? Every NBA arena is very much like the next. Same crowd noise, same "Addam's Family" music. "[thud thud] De-fense! [thud thud]" chant. The measurements of the basket and the foul line are the same at the Garden as they are at The Palace as they are at our gym back in Hickory. The only real, tangible difference between the Celts at home and on the road then are the Celtics Dancers. Obviously this is going to be a brutal Eastern Conference Final and it could very well come down to which cheerleader squad can deliver in crunch time. In that spirit, here's a look at some of the key matchups between the Celtics Dancers and the Piston's Automotion: And for more NBA Cheerleader breakdowns check out Coed Magazine who helped inspire this article.
Large Breasted Blonde
Celtics: Alison
Movie:
Wedding Crashers Vince Vaughn is hilarious
Actor/Actress:
Rachel McAdams and Vince Vaughn
Book:
The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
Food:
Taco Bell (beef nacho cheese chalupa) or my Mom's chicken picatta.
Quote:
We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.
Pistons: Chelsea C
FAVORITE MOVIE:
Wedding Crashers...I've seen it a million times
FAVORITE MEAL TO COOK:
Kraft Spiral Macaroni and Cheese...does that count?
WHAT 3 THINGS WOULD YOU TAKE WITH YOU ON A DESERT ISLAND?
My dog Heisman, my iPod, and Tom Brady
LIFE MOTTO:
"Live life to the fullest. It's too short to not DO IT Up "
This is a tough call. Both women are hot, had first-rate breast augmentation done, and both like "Wedding Crashers." But Chelsea threw in a shameless shout-out to Tom Brady, which is the difference in this matchup. Edge: Automotion.
To see the rest of the one-on-one cheerleader matchup breakdowns, click here...
Detroit Ain't No Thang....
I know I posted two clips of the same video but I had to. The 2nd one is clearly a higher quality and I like the music, but the first one has the crowd reaction which is the best part besides Walton's reaction. I crack up every time I see those two Celtics fans making out hard core at the end of the first video. If that's not a "Fuck Detroit Makeout Session" than I don't know what is. It actually wouldn't surprise me if a few couples started instantaneously banging once Bird stole the ball. In any event there is no way Detroit beats the Celtics this series because it's impossible to beat us at home. And I don't know why everybody is so scared of the Pistons. Didn't LeBron run them out of the building last year with the same exact team we just demolished?
PS - Somebody has a great quote on youtube describing this play;
"This play should rank right behind the miracle of the creation of the earth..."
It's funny because it's true....
Brady Gives Offensive Lineman Audi Q7's
Bostonherald.com - Some quarterbacks will take their offensive linemen out for a steak dinner at the end of the season to thank them for their protection. Others might gift their offensive line with Rolex watches. That is, if they’re lucky. As Dan Koppen, Logan Mankins [ stats] and Stephen Neal found out last night, he tends to operate on a much grander scale than most quarterbacks. Brady presented the three offensive linemen who came to his event with an Audi Q7 SUV to kick off the Audi Best Buddies Challenge: Hyannis Port.
See this is the real difference between Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. It’s not that Brady has 3 Superbowl rings and Manning has 1. It’s not that Brady dates a supermodel and Manning is married to a horse. It’s that Tom Brady stands by his teammates. Because let’s be honest. After the way our offensive line got mutilated in the super bowl they should be the ones buying Tom Brady gifts. But that’s just not the way he operates. He sticks by his friends through thick in thin unless it’s a chick he’s knocked up. Contrast this with Peyton Manning who blames every misstep on his teammates and it’s easy to see why Brady is one of the most beloved figures of our generation and why Manning is one of the most despicable. God Bless Tom Brady. God Bless the Patriots.
geigh car, but i wouldn't turn one down if it was free. sick move on TB's part.
Dude, Audi GAVE those cars away, Brady didn't go to a dealership and buy 3 Audi's and give them to 3 outta 5 linemen. What was wrong with the other two linemen? More corporate BS so Audi could get free advertising from Brady. As Chuck D from Public Enemy says, "don't believe the hype".
Its good to see Tom is concerned about the rising price of oil and the enviornment as well.
yeah those were def shameless promotional giveaways from Audi....although a great qb, his gifts were probably some sort of european scarf and "murse" ensemble.
While i think Peyton Manning is a huge Douche, i don't think you can call Manning "one of the most despicable figures" of our generation. Come on, Prez. one of the most despicable?
I heard the other two linemen got dildo-copters.
Dude, if your lineman can fit in those, I can see why Tom got raped in the SB
Manning bashing is gratuitous
Well Hitler and Mussolini aren't techinically "our" generation.
Those rims are pretty sweet though
For the life of me I can't figure out how Don Jeans thinks this car is gay and his SAAB isn't. For the record, I don't think either is gay but they aren't that different.
bronko, that's some funny shit right there. You are on today.
Did those dildo copters have dual rotor blades?
Gotta be tough to land that baby safely with the gonad landing gear
It's the Ambiguously Gay Duo Copter
If I'm Nick Kazur, i'm letting someone through untouched in camp in July.
sooger, i'm just not a fan of SUVs in general. it's my humble opinion that BMW, Audi, Porsche and Saab should stick to what made them -- high performance coupes and sedans. For my $60k, there's a lot of cars I'd buy before this Audi.
And my car is very gay. I think it's been well documented how much I hate it.
Ambiguously Gay Duo Attacks Garry Kasparov after anti-gay comments, news at 11:
60k ------ get you the new Jag. which is the tits
and Audi is the beat step-sister of BMW, Mercedes et al
that same jag would be worth about $30k a year after you bought it. things depreciate like a motherfucker.
for $60k i'd be pushing a Cayman S, RS4, c63 or M3
Oh shit, here comes the big dick...er, car talk.
As Chuck D from Public Enemy says, "don't believe the hype".
— CaliStoolie, May 20 2008, 2:06 pm
Cali, I believe it is the esteemed FLAVOOOOORRRRRR FLAAAVVVVV who spouts that line. From groundbreaking, rebellious rapper to reality minstrel show star. All while hittin' the pipe, procreating, and banging Mrs. Drago. "Livin' In America", indeed.
If that flying dick was uncut, would it be an Unchopper?
Sorry, but it was a one year lease. He said "use" of the car for one year.....and Audi probably gave it to him......I'm just saying........
what's wrong with cars rear? they are a passion of mine, the same way Dana Bible and Ron Burgandy share a passion for diddling children.
I wonder if Bellicek and gaydy gave cars to Matt Walsh..they should have.
he did afterall get them their rings
DJ, not hatin' on whips or picking on you. Right or wrong, I categorize bragging about what you drive with "where you went to school" and "what you do/how much you bank" as lame topics to share with total strangers (in most cases) in these parts. That said, knock yourself out if cars are you passion.
derekio = the last crab egg you always miss
DJ - wtf is a c63?
Brady is the best! He should hook me up with a whip too though, I did just as much as his O-Line did in the Super Bowl. Except I was on my couch.
AH - not bad - those AMGs are nice
I'm pretty sure the linemen wouldn't fit in the C63 or M3.
Btw, all 5 linemen got them. Light and Kaczur did not attend the presentation and were not given the cars there, unlike the other 3.
"During a press conference near Boston's John F. Kennedy Library and Museum, Brady presented the men most responsible for his safety on the field, with one of the safest SUVs on the market, the new Audi Q7. Linemen Matt Light, Stephan Neal, Dan Koppen, Logan Mankins and Nick Kaczur will be given new Audi Q7 SUVs to protect them on the road and to thank them for their support of Best Buddies International and dedication during the 2007/2008 football season. "
http://www.internetautoguide.com/auto-news/25-int/36391/index.html
rear i'm with you. for the record though, i wasn't bragging about my car, nor do i have a car nice enough to brag about.
It's probably pretty simple. Brady makes an appearance, then waives his fee in exchange for the cars.
How many fees do you think that Goober Manning has waived from his commercials.
Brady alwasy sees to it, that his linemen get taken care of in his commercials. Peyton just take care of his father and brother.
"Brady is one of the most beloved figures of our generation and why Manning is one of the most despicable"
As much as I dislike Manning as well, I'm sorry, but outside of New England Brady is the more hated quarterback, while Payton is probably one of the most loved players in the NFL.
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How Far Can You Shoot John Tomase Out Of A Cannon?
Current Record: Manzo - 84.75 meters
(Hey Idiots: Manzo just went once and posted his score. Even a hippie could beat this number so stop sending screen shots proving you did it.)
Good luck!
Heidi Watney Vs. Julie Donaldson...Who Ya Got?
Vs.
I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few weeks blogging about Heidi Watney. And she is definitely worthy of our attention. But as I was flipping through the channels yesterday I caught Julie Donaldson on Channel 7. Now I know we talked about her when she first started, but I never really watch the news so I never see her. Well shame on me. Because Julie Donaldson is a flat out 10. Yeah Heidi Watney is hot, but Donaldson has all the right curves in all the right places. She looks like she just fell out of the pages of Maxim Magazine or something. Does everybody agree with me or are there some wackos out there who think Heidi is hotter than Julie? Time to put it to a vote.
Vote 1 for Heidi and 10 for Julie
BostonBigots.com Update: It's The South Station Hippies!
Ok, quick update on the bostonbigots post from yesterday. Apparently whoever set this thing up used a fake name and a fake number to set it up. So people have been calling an old lady instead of the right person. Naturally this lady called me to complain, but she was actually fairly cool about it after I explained what happened. In fact she wants to sue whoever used her information. God Bless her! Unless of course the old bag was just lying to me and was in on it as well, but I don’t think that was the case. Anyway what a coward move huh? If you’re going to set up www.bostonbigots.com and redirect it to www.barstoolsports.com at least be man enough to stand behind it.
More importantly it turns out this whole thing has nothing to do with us being racist or bigots at all. Unless you count saying that hippies suck as being bigots? Does that count? If it does then guilty as charged. Because the guy(s) behind bostonbigots.com is the same dude(s), (James Cobalt) 
who sent me this nasty email after I made fun of him for doing Improv at South Station and threatened to call the police. How do I know this? Because the email address he used in the original email is the same one that was used to set up the website. Coincidence? I think not. I'll be damned if a bunch of hippies are going to outsmart Boston's preeminent smut peddler. Nice try guys! Listen don't hate me because you smell like ass and never have gotten laid. I eat Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and like the Grateful Dead too. Can't we all just get along?
Just Another Day At The Preakness UPDATE!!! With Video!
If I've said it once I've said it a million times. Jumping urinals is a game of inches. If the roof of this guys launch urinal doesn't cave in I think he makes it. But those are the breaks and that's what separates the winners from the losers on Preakness Day.
Flying Penis Disrupts Important Russian Speech
I hate when shit like this happens. Nothing and I mean nothing will disrupt a speech faster than a flying penis coming out of nowhere. You just know that the hard line Communists are sitting there shaking their heads thinking to themselves "You didn't see any flying penises on our watch"
Give Varitek His Due
Jon Lester's No Hitter is one of the all time great stories, and not for a second do I want to take any attention away from the guy. He made all the pitches, he got ahead of guys, he dialed it up in the last few innings and started blowing the ball by hitters with overpowering stuff. 100% of the credit goes to Lester.
But this is also a good time to mention Jason Varitek. If you haven't heard by now, and I don't know how you couldn't have, Varitek is now the first catcher in MLB history to catch four no-nos, and I stopped thinking it was a coincidence after No. 2. Keep in mind that the Sox went 38 years between No Hitters before Varitek, and now they crank them out like Chinese factories crank out dangerous toys. Since 2001 they've gotten them from Hideo Nomo, Derek Lowe, Clay Bucholz and now Lester. And if Curt Schilling doesn't shake him off with two out in the 9th, 'Tek would be on No. 5.
You can't convince me the Sox would have done it with a random Molina brother behind the plate. So it's remarkable to me that 'Tek still has critics. That people get frustrated he doesn't hit like Posada or whomever. I've got a friend who signs off emails with "Varitek sucks." And I'll admit that when he went on the disabled list in 2006, I said that now we'll know if the things they always say about him... leadership, calling a game, preparation, all those unquantifiable things... are true, and worth the long term contract they gave him. So in the month he was out, their staff ERA was a full run higher and I was sold. Now I refuse to listen to anyone saying a bad word about the guy, especially considering that among the catchers with three No Hitters are Yogi Berra, Roy Campenella and Ray Schalk. I wouldn't bet against Varitek calling another one with Justin Masterson either.
PS. While we're at it, big credit too goes to Orsillo and Remy for not using the words "No Hitter." I'm not superstitious by nature, but that's one jinx I truly believe in. The network guys like Buck and McCarver start saying it in the 4th inning.
Wonder how much he paid, and how much audi gave him towards the suv's. That's a pretty hot car btw.