NEW YORK -- These are trying times for Jason Giambi -- apparently not even lucky underwear can help his undersized batting average. The New York Yankees' first baseman caused a bit of a stir Saturday when the Daily News reported -- on the front page, no less -- that he often wears a gold thong under his uniform pants when trying to snap out of a slump. Giambi, who began the day batting .181, has kept the shiny thong in his locker since he played for the Oakland Athletics. Several teammates acknowledged they've tried wearing it, too, including Yankees captain Derek Jeter and outfielder Johnny Damon.

This would be a non story for me if it weren’t for the fact that Derek Jeter and Johnny Damon wore the thong too. That’s so gross.   I’d rather go 0-5 any day of the week than have Giambi’s greasy ball sweat touching my dick.   But I guess that’s what happens when you haven’t won a World Series this century.    Desperate times call for desperate measures.