Random Thoughts

Celts in 5. I said it in the beginning and I'm sticking to it. By my math that means they need to win tonight.

If the Celts win tonight it will be because the 6th Man of the Year shirts are lucky and therefore you need to buy one. And if they lose tonight buy one anyways.

Introducing Erika from UNH.  I think this is the first Wildcat we’ve ever featured on the Stool.     This chick has a lot of Kristin Kreuk in her and anybody who knows anything about life knows that’s a VERY GOOD thing.

Do you know any chicks that are so hot they make you nervous?  Send them our way to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click for more pics of Ericka

Jennifer Mally will serve six months in prison and must register as a sex offender after a judge sentenced her for three counts of sex with a minor. The former teacher and cheer coach at Paradise Valley High School in northeast Phoenix wept as she addressed the Maricopa County Superior Court judge before her sentencing. Mally, 27, said she asked her students to make her proud. Mally was arrested a year ago and charged with 17 counts of sex with a minor. She pleaded guilty to three counts in March and was sentenced on Friday.

Several people, including members of her cheer squad, her pastor and her husband, spoke in her defense. They described a fun-loving, committed teacher who went the extra mile to help with academic and personal problems. Several of the cheerleaders wore T-shirts reading "Team Mally," and one wore a shirt saying, "I make Mally proud." One of them said, "Her door was always open, her heart was always open."

Altogether now: "...her mouth was always open, her legs were always open..."

You wonder why teachers feel underappreciated our society? What do we look for in someone who's going to mold young minds? By all accounts, Jennifer Mally is all of those things. Is she "fun-loving"? Yes (sex is fun). Does she go "the extra mile to help with... personal problems"? Yes (if your particular personal problem is lack of sex). Is she "committed"? Yes (for six months). All she wanted to do was to inspire her students to "make her proud" and they did. 17 times. And for that, they've thrown her in jail. I don't know how the Paradise Valley HS cheer squad will ever be cheerful again.

As a side note, what do you think you had to do to earn a "Team Mally" t-shirt? And would anyone buy one if Barstool printed some that said "I Gave Jennifer Mally My Virginity and All I Got Was This Lousy 'Team Mally' T-Shirt"?

The Grades:
Looks: I'm guessing this isn't a formal portrait and Jenn looked better at cheerleader practice, but still. Yikes. How do you get a complexion like that in Arizona? She looks like she just crawled out of Naomi Watts' TV. Grade: C-.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: The kid in question was 16 years old. And according to transcripts of an audio recording Mally had this exchange with him:

Mally: All you need to do is tell your parents this is all crazy and that it's done.
Boy: You want me to lie to my parents?

Then in the police station she was caught on tape telling her husband "I know what I'm doing, I watch CSI." Grade: A

Intangibles: A defense psychologist testified she has the "maturity of a mid-teen. Ding! Ding! Ding! Grade: A
Overall: B-. Nice effort. Hopefully Jennifer can get a little sun in the yard at prison and come back strong in the fall.

Jayde Nicole was just named Playboy Playmate of the Year.  Yawn.  I can’t say I didn’t see this one coming a mile away.   This is the type of shit that separates the good smut peddlers from the great ones.    I mean of all the random naked sluts on the Internet she is the only one I’ve ever blogged about.  But I just knew there was something special about her.   In fact here is a direct quote from my August 7th blog about her.

“It just feels right in my gut to post pictures of this chick.”

I mean you can’t make this shit up.   I don’t know what it is that makes a great smut peddler.  I can’t explain it or teach it.  I just know I have it.   It’s something you’re born with I guess. 

"I knew this watch makes me look fat"

Do people know what is happening this Thursday in Boston?    No?   Well it just may be the biggest event in the history of the city.   Yup, Topenga from Boy Meets World is going to be a guest bartender in McFadden’s from 9pm to 2am.  That’s right the chick that made Lance Bass go gay is coming to Beantown!    I will be there with bells on.   El Pres doesn’t miss a 50 year storm.  I can’t wait to see what Topenga looks like.   Is she going to be fat?  Is she going to be hot?  Is she going to want to date Boston’s preeminent smut publisher?   So many questions.   I literally can’t wait.   I’d suggest getting there early because nobody puts asses in the seats like Topenga.  I may camp outside and make it like Topangaville instead of Krzyzewskiville.

Boston.com - Gisele Bundchen's lover fantasises about her dressing up as a superhero. The supermodel's American football star boyfriend Tom Brady confessed he is keen to see her don Wonder Woman's famous hot pants. He said: "I want her to wear the Wonder Woman outfit." Gisele revealed she would consider wearing the gold-starred pants and red corset, but worries it may expose too much of her body.Gisele isn't the only star to admit she would enjoy wearing a superhero outfit. Kate Beckinsale has previously revealed she would love to don the Wonder Woman costume, while Halle Berry kept her sexy outfit from the 'X-Men' movies and enjoys wearing it in the bedroom with lover Gabriel Audry.

First of all who wrote this article?    It sounds like some snotty Englishman or something.   You don’t need to specify that Tom Brady is an American football star.  We get that. Everybody knows who he is.  And trust me if Tom Brady orders Gisele to dress up as Wonder Woman she’s fucking dressing up as Wonder Woman.  Because if she doesn’t he’ll just find somebody else who will. That’s just how it goes when you’ve won 3 Superbowls already.  Plus the author didn’t even do their research.  Everybody knows that Kate Beckinsale has already dressed up as Wonder Woman.  Get a clue would you!   Anyway this brings up an interesting question.   If you could dress up a chick as a superhero who would it be?     Wonder Woman probably wins in a landslide right?   Personally I once tried to make an ex dress up as a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, but got nowhere with it.   I’m still stunned more chicks don’t do that for Halloween. Dudes would be eating out of their hand.

This may be my favorite video that we've posted in the last couple months here at the Stool. An instant classic if you will. I promise you that I'm going to use this quote from now on when the shit hits the fan. Whenever time is running out on anything in life....

"WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT! DO IT LIVE!

Well you know the Olympics must be right around the corner because the U.S. just got screwed again in an international competition. You think this was bad, wait until China is in charge in a few months. This play was from last night's IIHF World Hockey Championships between USA and Finland. Now I can see allowing the goal with the naked eye - it's obviously coming in there pretty quick, but the refs actually reviewed the play for 5 minutes and still allowed the goal!! What is this, the NBA? I'd hate to suggest international competitions are in any way rigged, fixed or influenced by politics, but like I said, just wait for the Olympics. This game was in Canada mind you.

The U.S. lost 3-2, won the post-game fight though and the Russian video ref who allowed the goal was promptly suspended after the game. As you'll see by the clip, even the Finnish announcers got a laugh.

Vs.

This is a real tough one for me and here is why. Clearly #2 is a better fall. I mean there is a 50/50 chance that dork is dead. But I love this chick in the first video who has an orgasm when she catches it all on tape. "I got it on video....I got it on video" Now people know how I feel when I find a good blog. So for me I'm going with video 1 by a nose.

PS - Anybody who partakes in the steeplechase deserves to get destroyed. This is the dumbest sporting event of all time. Who wants to jump into a pool of mud?

Vote 1 for I got it on Video and 10 for If he Dies He Dies

Kob.com - A woman is accused of chasing her boyfriend with a knife after thinking he was an actor in a pornographic movie they were watching together.  The victim says it all started when he and his girlfriend were inside his southwest Albuquerque home watching a pornographic move at 10:30 Wednesday morning.  That’s when the victim called 911 saying his girlfriend, 20-year-old Amanda Moya, had a knife.  “She almost shanked me and everything. She put the (expletive) knife right under my throat," the victim told a 911 operator.  The victim, wearing only a pair of shorts took off down Five Points, begging the 911 dispatcher for help.  He said Moya had already stabbed him in the face and bitten him on his chest.  “She already has battery charges against her. She's not even supposed to be around me," the victim said.

First of all, who watches porn with their girlfriend at 10:30 am on a Wednesday morning?  What a fucking life!   I’m totally jealous of this guy.      But don’t you think it’s a little late for this guy to play the role of the “victim” and complain that she shouldn’t even be around him when 10 seconds ago he was hooking up with her?  Also there is definitely more than meets the eye here.  I’m not convinced this guy wasn’t in the porno they were watching.    Chicks can recognize a dick that’s fucked them from a mile away.   I just don’t see her getting confused.   And if this guy was a porn star it would explain the lavish lifestyle and why he didn’t work on Wednesdays.   My guess is that he wanted to tell her about his gig and figured this would be the best way to do it.   Unfortunately Amanda took the news by stabbing him in the face.  You win some, you lose some.

She's actually wearing some skin colored shirt here, but for all intensive purposes she's naked. Not even sure what the point of the shirt is. Is that so she can say she never posed naked or something? Dude, this counts. More importantly what is going on with her side flab? That's not supposed to be there. That knocks her right out of the top 10 chicks I'd like to nail on the planet list.

Click for the pseudo naked pics of Megan Fox

From the Sunday NY Times:

Long since the days of leather helmets and the V-formation, the N.F.L. has embraced technological advances that have brought dizzying changes to coaching strategy in the past decade. With the advances have come new temptations for coaches to gain an unfair advantage. Every Monday during the football season, the league says, it fields complaints from and about many teams. If a persistent problem is identified, the league’s eight-member competition committee suggests changes to rules. In discussions of changes since 2000, one team, the New England Patriots, has surfaced more than any other, according to a longtime N.F.L. team executive with direct knowledge of the meetings... The N.F.L. team executive said the Patriots were the subject of most of the accusations discussed in the rules committee’s deliberations... “They were the only team, really,” the executive said. “Clearly, they were the team mentioned far more than anybody else.”

So this is what the Patriots haters in the media have been reduced to. They sat there for months with their sniper rifles locked and loaded, waiting for Matt Walsh to drop a Daisy Cutter on the Foxboro Tora Bora, so they could pick the Pats off one by one as they came spilling from their caves in panic. Instead, the M.O.A.B Walsh dropped turned out to be the "Mother of All Bullshit." He handed over to the league eight lousy tapes he kept from the Bledsoe Era which proved the Patriots... did exactly what they admitted to doing. What everyone else was doing. Taping opposing coaches. Oh, the horror. So without the chance to end Osama bin Belichick's reign of terror legitimately, the NY Times is quoting one unnamed executive >cough< Bill Polian >cough, cough< who says the league deals with a lot of complaints about the Pats. Gee, ya think? Could eight seasons of unchallenged success have anything to do with it? You mean the Competition Committe isn't confronting the competitive imbalance caused by the Arizona Cardinals?

In a related note, Profootballtalk.com has a link to an interview loathesome Barstool boycott recipient John Tomase did two days after the Super Bowl on Loren & Wally. In it, Tomase admits that for months he had gotten nowhere with the whole SpyGate story. Click here for the link and at about the 12 minute mark you'll hear him admit that by the Friday before the game the Walsh story "wasn’t even on my radar screen." Then Tomase explains how the Times was looking into Walsh and by an incredible coincidence, the very next day he had an entire story claiming someone, somewhere, had a tape of the Rams Super Bowl walk-through. So in 24 hours, in the midst of compiling Super Bowl stories in Arizona, Tomase managed to take a story that was off his radar, and corroborate it with enough evidence to run with it. Oh, and Matt Walsh wasn't his source. The walk through story was all solid journalism, not some talentless hack trying to make a name for himself with unfounded accusations. How is this gasbag still employed?

Fucking chick wins 1 race and thinks she can just start running dudes over now. Grow up.

More Underwood here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com