In his first comments since a tabloid linked him to extramarital affairs last week, Roger Clemens on Sunday acknowledged making "mistakes" in his personal life. For those mistakes he apologized to his family and the public, but the seven-time Cy Young Award winner remained steadfast in his denials that he has used steroids or human growth hormone. "I know that many people want to know what I have to say about the recent articles in the media," Clemens, who has raised his four children with his wife, Debbie, in the Katy and Memorial areas, said in a statement to the Houston Chronicle. "Even though these articles contain many false accusations and mistakes, I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal life for which I am sorry. I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans. Like everyone, I have flaws. I have sometimes made choices which have not been right."

Roger Clemens is the gift that keeps on giving. He's a bottomless well of blogging fodder. After spending the last week indignantly denying he'd done anything wrong, Clemens apologizes for his wrongdoing. No, I take that back. He apologizes for his "mistakes." This is my favorite kind of apology: the non-apology apology. Where you don't admit you've done something, but you're sorry anyway. Sorry for what? Well that's none of the public's business. What's important now is to turn the page, move forward and please respect my family's privacy in these difficult times.

Like I've said before, I don't give a tinker's damn that Clemens juiced. That he was tomcattin' around behind Debbie's back with teenage yokels and drunken golfers wives means nothing to me. Believe me, I've got 150 gripes with Roger that are far more egregious. Things that have me praying somehow in all this he not only gets kept out of Cooperstown, he gets lead away in handcuffs and eventually gets the Eight Belles treatment in prison. Which is why I love the non-specific apology. Because as long as he's not actually admitting anything, I feel like I can apply the "I'm sorry for my mistakes" to any wrong Rocket has done to me personally. Here's how I'm interpretting this latest one:

• "Jerry, it was a mistake for me to ask out of Game 6 of the '86 World Series then lie about it for the rest of my life. I apologize."
• "I am truly sorry for all those times I crapped my pants in the postseason, especially that Game 2 in 1990 when I was so intimidated by Dave Stewart and the A's lineup that I purposely got myself throw out by Terry Cooney."
• "I am full of remores for coming back from the strike year looking like Chris Farley."
• "I deeply regret mailing it in my last four years in Boston, wracking up a record of 40-39 and always blaming it on the bullpen."
• "Please forgive me for putting 10 MPH back on my fastball as soon as I got to Toronto."
• "I feel bad for making you listen to me drone on and on about my bizarre fixation on my rotten kids."
• "I shouldn't have chucked that broken bat at Piazza, then made up stupid excuses for my behavior.  My bad."
• "Sorry for always signing with whatever team paid me the most money but always pretending it was about loyalty or Andy Pettite or winning a ring or Joe Torre or somesuch crap."
• "I apologize for being a big, fat, stupid, bloated, self-important, philandering, money-grubbing phoney."