Random Thoughts

I'm totally the only one who watches the Hills huh? First the cover of Rolling Stone and then the Tyra Banks show. What's next? A spread in Barstool Sports? Anyway this is big news people. Why? Because the whole reason Heidi and LC hate each other is because LC thinks Heidi and Spenser made up the rumor about the sex tape. Duh! But now we find out that it was true all along. LC is such a little slut. Now I can proudly wear my "Team Heidi" shirt in public again.

Introducing Corrine from Trinity.    Why do I feel like I’m going to get in trouble for this one? Remember being featured as a Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day is the highest compliment any human being can get in Boston. It's like wining the Nobel Peace Prize for being hot.

We got ZERO smokeshow nominations yesterday.  ZERO.  For shame.  For shame.  Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click here for more pics of Corrine

Evening Sun - Charlie Weis has a plan for the University of Notre Dame football team and, according to Weis, it is only two-thirds complete.  Weis wants to assemble individuals who are good people first, studious people second and good football players third.  The first two Weis has accomplished. The last is the one he and the Fighting Irish faithful are waiting for. "I could get hoodlums and thugs and win tomorrow," Weis said. "I won't do it that way."

I hate to break it to Charlie Weis.  But it’s not that easy.  You can’t just snap your fingers and win with hoodlums and thugs.   Just look at BC.  I mean despite half their team getting arrested for rape and assault charges they have still never appeared in a BCS game.  My advice to Charlie Weis would be to stop making excuses and just start doing whatever has to be done to win games.   Buy players cars, recruit thugs, cheat, steal etc.  Just win baby. Because you can only makes excuses for so long.    Even Jerry Thornton is running out of patience.

Listen I know this video isn't that great and doesn't show that much. But at the same time it does. That little pump fist from Tommy Heinsohn kind of sums up why I love Heinsohn and hate Donny Marshall. Tommy Heinshon fucking cares if the Celtic win or lose. Donny Marshall doesn't. It's that simple. And it comes across in their telecasts. I don't know when or how Boston TV executives got the idea that we want some imparshall dude calling the games. I want a flaming homer (not the drink) doing the telecast especially with the Celtics who have a history of guys like Johnny Most and Tommy Heinsohn doing the broadcasts. To be honest I actually don't think Donny Marshall is that bad at being a color guy besides the fact he talks about his NBA experience way to much when he was a career bench guy. But it's just that he has zero connection with the Celtics. It's not his fault but he just shouldn't be the guy to replace Heinsohn. We need a guy who bleeds green and isn't afraid to show it. A guy really deep down gives a shit if the Celtics win or lose. Donny Marshall isnt' that guy. Let me put it this way he definitly wouldn't have called Mike Bibby a "little varmont" last night.

VS.

ATHENS, Greece - A Greek court has been asked to draw the line between the natives of the Aegean Sea island of Lesbos and the world's gay women.

Three islanders from Lesbos — home of the ancient poet Sappho, who praised love between women — have taken a gay rights group to court for using the word lesbian in its name.

One of the plaintiffs said Wednesday that the name of the association, Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, "insults the identity" of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians.

"My sister can't say she is a Lesbian," said Dimitris Lambrou. "Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos," he said.

The three plaintiffs are seeking to have the group barred from using "lesbian" in its name and filed a lawsuit on April 10. The other two plaintiffs are women.

"This is not an aggressive act against gay women," Lambrou said. "Let them visit Lesbosand get married and whatever they like. We just want (the group) to remove the word lesbian from their title."

You’ve got Marbury v. Madison… Brown v. Board of Education... Kramer v. Kramer, and now this: Actual Lesbians v. Chicks Who Like to Dyke Out.  I mean you know it had to come to this at some point, it’s been building up for centuries.  There was just no way actual Lesbians could tolerate this type of behavior anymore (see above) and not reap the benefits like you and I.   That would be like coming from the island of Dorito or something.  Blowjob, Wisconsin.  You could make an argument for a variety of places, but the point is nobody has been exploited the past 3000 years like actual Lesbians.  Well maybe Jets fans. Anyway who do the Stoolies side with in this lesbian legal battle?

Vote 1 for actual, native lesbians from the Greek Isle of Lesbos. Vote 10 for chicks who like to dyke out (see above, again).

LAWRENCE, Mass. -- A dispute of laundry detergent left a teenager bloodied and bruised. According to the police report, Olga Delvalle left a note on her laundry detergent, which she left in a shared laundry room, telling everyone not to use it. Yanirka Rodriguez-Ramos, 17, says that she believed that the note was directed at her. She left a note for Delvalle saying, "If you have something to say, say it to me, this is for Olga." Delvalle allegedly responded by visiting Rodriguez-Ramos and her mother, and beat them.

Is this the first girl to win an “I Don’t Fuck Around Of the Day” Award?   I think it is.  I mean it’s one thing to beat a bitch up because she is stealing your laundry detergent.   But to beat up her mother too?   That’s just some cold blooded shit right there.   And the thing is this chick didn’t even have a good reason to do it.  I mean if you leave your laundry detergent unattended in a common area you’re basically begging for somebody to steal it.   This bitch was just looking for an excuse to beat some ass.

Last night’s win felt good, real good. And it wasn’t because I was drinking and eating for free in a TD Banknorth Garden suite. The C’s got their swagger back and I think the crowd had a lot to do with that (free t-shirts will get anyone pumped up). But hell, we had plenty to cheer about. Paul Pierce insisted on taking the ball to the hoop and he did it with a variety of spin moves. KG imposed his will defensively. He had at least two monster blocks. Ray Allen was dialed in from long-range. The bench was great. Leon Powe crashed the boards while taking about 6 charges. Unfortunately the refs only called two of them. Cassell came out with guns blazing. Posey hit a couple of big shots. Even Scalabrine did a helluva job handing out high-fives. Back to the refs, who were awful. I honestly believe they held back on calling some obvious charges. And there is no such thing as a “no-call” anymore. If there’s contact, they’ll blow the whistle. The most obvious cop-out came when Joe Johnson took a swipe at KG and both were given techs. Garnett was furious and nearly got tossed. But the play of the game came late in the 4^th when Ray Allen raked that punk Al Horford in the face. Can someone please tell him “flexing” after a basket when you are down by 17 is ridiculous. This thing ends Friday night.

Chuck – Red’s Army

I don’t pretend to be an expert on what to do if you catch fire, but I’m pretty sure that the manual doesn’t say to have some dude in jeans come out of nowhere and start whipping the fire with his shirt.    Although truth be told I’m not even sure that was his own shirt he was using to fan the flames.  He seems like the type of guy who may have showed up shirtless to the Wedding to begin with.     Also I love the guy who fakes like he can’t get his shirt off for like half an hour.  Dude just admit that you want nothing to do with this blaze.      I ain’t mad at ya.  

PS – Who were all those people sitting around at the tables as the bride got whisked out of the room?  Was this a public wedding?  They didn’t look dressed for a formal affair.

PORT ST. LUCIE — Tiffany Shepherd, a biology teacher at Port St. Lucie High School, learned last week that she will not be asked to return when school starts next year, nor will she finish this school year. Shepherd doesn't think it's her teaching skills that the St. Lucie County School District found objectionable but, rather, her after-school job as a bikini mate aboard Smokin' Em Charters fishing tours. As such, Shepherd, a 30-year-old buxom blonde from Fort Pierce with an undergraduate degree in pre-med, performs the usual duties of a mate, but wears a bikini and fetches drinks and sandwiches for the men on board. "I can make $600 in two days (fishing)," she said. "That's a week's pay for me in two days."

So let me get this straight: A teacher loses her job because she has a side job which involves her wearing a bathing suit. On a boat. In Florida. The same state as the city of Tampa Bay where deflowering underage students is a job requirement. Can there be any other explanation than Tiffany got fired because she has a ginormous rack? This is pure Anti-Buxom Blonde discrimination and I for one won't stand for it. Can Ms. Shepard help it if her chest looks like two deployed air bags?

This is the worst kind of hatred and bias. It's Anti-Big Bigotry. Tiffany would be preparing lesson plans for next fall... maybe even getting ready to seduce a few students... if she was an A cup. You just know it. If anything, her job at Smokin' Em Charters helps make her a better biology teacher. It's advanced studies in marine biology, physiology, and on a boat full of drunken sportsmen, the human reproductive system as well. The St. Lucie School Department ought to give her a grant for the extra work she's doing. (Thanks to Mac for the story.)

Click here to see more pictures of Tiffany and help stop Big Breast prejudice...

Holy shit! What you're about to see is a 500 year old Indian tradition where they throw fucking babies off the roof. Now if I remember correctly, when Michael Jackson did the pump-fake with his kid a few years ago everybody was all up in arms. So how the hell have these people been doing it for real for 500 years and this is the first I've heard?! But here's the real question - what happens if the baby has 2 heads like the one from last month, do they throw him twice? You'd think 2 heads = 2 tosses, right? And check out the guy at the 25 second mark, he's like the only one there who kind of suspects there's a problem.

(Herald photo)

Bostonherald.com - The wife of retired pro-wrestler “Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake” claims accused baseball bad boy Roger Clemens made a pass at her 18 years ago, but the married Red Sox [ team stats] ace never reached first base. Barbara Leslie, 43, of Winchester - then a comely waitress at the celeb-magnet Palace nightclub in Saugus - claims that in her brush with the Rocket, he said, “ ‘What would you do if I tried to kiss you?’ ” and she replied, “ ‘What would your wife say if you tried to kiss me? ” Leslie, who hadn’t yet met her husband of 15 years, Edward Leslie, was fetching drinks in lifeguard shorts and a tank top at the Palace when, she says, Clemens happened by with a pal in 1990. “People were going, ‘Roger Clemens is here, Roger Clemens is here!’ ” she said. “Being a big sports personality in Boston, all the waitresses wanted to wait on him. He definitely didn’t act like a man who was married, though.” Leslie said Clemens had been in the club about an hour and she admits to flirting with him until he allegedly followed her into a dressing room off-limits to the public, leaned into her and made the clumsy, rebuffed overture. “Back then, it was a compliment to have someone like Roger Clemens think you’re pretty, and I’m a huge Red Sox fan,” said Leslie, “but the next day, I was totally grossed out.”  “I gotta tell you, he wasn’t that great a tipper,” Leslie said. “As I recall, he didn’t even take his money out.”

Listen I hate Roger Clemens as much as the next guy.  But I’m calling total bullshit on this story.  Clearly Mrs. Beefcake is just mad that Clemens stiffed her on a tip 18 years ago.   Because there is no fucking way that a waitress at the Palace is turning down the Rocket at the height of his power in Boston.  Just no way.  That would be like Tom Brady showing up at Waterworks on a Sunday Night and some South Shore broad refusing to blow him.  Impossible.   It just wouldn’t happen.  So despite how reputible the Beefcakes are, I just refuse to believe this really happened.

More Carly here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com