Random Thoughts

Anybody still nervous? The Hawks couldn't beat us in Boston if they played 1,000 times.

Is there anything more hilarious than the mainstream media’s fear of the blogging industry?  I’ve never seen anything quite like it.  They must feel life France did before Germany invaded them in WWII. Just a total sense of helplessness.   It’s like their entire universe has been turned upside down.  For years and years and years sports journalists have had a virtual monopoly on how people got their information.  There was no alternative.   As a result guys like Shaughnessy and Borges came to have this elitist attitude that it was their birth right to cover the local sports teams and that their opinions were the only ones that mattered.    That everybody else was somehow beneath them.    It’s this type of attitude and total disconnect from reality which has doomed these guys.  Not to mention the fact that it’s hard for 50 year old guy to relate to a 25 year old.   Bottom line is that people were desperate to get their info from somewhere else and blogs have filled that vacuum.   So these idiots can talk all they want about morals and ethics blah, blah, blah.   But the bottom-line is that the reason they hate blogs so much is because they know they can’t compete with them.  And the gap is only going to widen in the future as they continue to get older and the demographic they need to reach gets younger.   So spare me the indignation about how blogs are inherently evil. The only people who complain about this type of stuff are guys who aren't good enough writers to keep their audience.

Introducing Bianca from BU. Of all the photo galleries I've seen so far Bianca seems to be one of the coolest chicks going. Any chick who waits in line in the rain for Sox tickets and poses with bums is okay by me.

Keep the Smokeshow nominations coming! Help us help you. Send them to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click Here For More Pics of Bianca

New England Patriots All-Pro wide receiver Randy Moss announced plans Tuesday to field a Moss Motorsports team in NASCAR's Craftsman Truck Series. The interest in racing isn't new to Moss... He sponsors a local dirt track program in his native West Virginia and serves as a goodwill ambassador for the Urban Youth Racing School headquartered in Philadelphia.

Until this moment, I had no idea anyone raced trucks. Except for the kind of highway racing done by sleep-deprived Teamsters high on Dexitrim trying to make early delivery bonus money. What kind of truck to they race? Pickups? Monster trucks? The kind Sylvester Stallone drove through Robert Loggia's front door in "Over the Top"? Never mind. It doesn't matter. Regardless of what this sport is all about, you know Randy Moss is destined for greatness. They could race forklifts, mailtrucks or Zambonis around a track, and Moss Motorsports will clean up. Because the wideout from Rand University is great at everything he does. I know Joe Gibbs has a NASCAR team and three Super Bowl rings, but does he have a postage stamp? No he doesn't, but Moss does. Very soon the rednecks, inbreds and hillbillies of the truck racing world are going to discover what the NFL already knows: You cannot stop Randy Moss, period. The AFC East couldn't. Gibbs couldn't. And as been proven, when he gets behind the wheel, even a meter maid can't slow him down.

By the way, is there any more worthy-sounding charity in the country than the Urban Youth Racing School? Giving Inner City kids the chance to drive dangerously fast in a circle? I'm welling up with tears at the thought of it. Everyone should by a "Straight Cash Homie" t-shirt to help this worthy cause.

DailyFreePress.com - Boston police said they turn to their computers to seek out and shut down illegal massage parlors and prostitution houses in Allston-Brighton, where a john is more likely to look for a trick on Craigslist than a corner. Boston Police Department District D-14 officers monitor Craigslist.org, a free classified ads site, for leads on unlicensed massage parlors and "erotic services" to determine whether prostitution rings run in Allston qualify as sex slavery. Sgt. James Fong, a BPD detective, said Allston-Brighton differs from other neighborhoods because most prostitution advertisements take place inside apartments, houses and hotels -- not on the streets. In their first sweep, officers arrested three women, one of whom had been labeled the "Queen of Craigslist." Fong said they have arrested woman as young as 15 and old as 63, with demographics as varied as college students, mothers, even a limo company owner who "did this on the side." Sgt. Kelley O'Connell, a member of the BPD Human Trafficking Task Force, said one or two women stay at a location for no longer than a week before others replace them. Officers want to arrest apartment owners and Craigslist advertisers who orchestrate prostitution rings, so police interrogate the women to get information about who is behind the operation, she said. "They're participating in this life but won't tell us why or how," O'Connell said. "Police can't connect the dots if people won't testify," he said.


The Boston Police Department has a Human Trafficking Task Force?   Who knew?  Anyway doesn’t the BPD have better things to do than bust up Asian Massage Parlors in Allston-Brighton?   I mean if the slave girls aren’t complaining and the residents aren’t complaining who cares?  It’s not like they’re fucking in public.  We should consider ourselves lucky that they have the common courtesy to rent apartments to conduct their business.  Plus if you get rid of the happy endings in Allston, what does the city have left besides rowdy college kids, Rats and the Super 88?  Nothing that’s what.   If the police really want to help the community they should just try and regulate this industry.  After all there is nothing more frustrating in life than showing up at a massage parlor expecting a 25 year old hottie and ending up with a 63 year old tranny.    That’s where the true crime is.

Is it weird that I beat off after watching this video? That' how much I hate Peyton Manning. I honestly think that if I had the chance to kill him I would. And I'd totally mail the head Archie.

(Fanhaus)

Mlive.com - Kristoff Wennersten figured his prom proposal had to be one-of-a-kind if it would have any chance of being accepted. But the Huron High School senior never imagined it would result in a suspension for himself and 12 of his varsity lacrosse teammates, whom he recruited to help spell out the message at a school soccer match via their derrieres. The players displayed the question, "Will You Go To The Prom With Me? Yes or No?" on their posteriors while mooning Huron senior Carolyn Campbell at a game.  All 13 players were suspended for a undetermined number of games and ordered to complete 20 hours of community service.  The students were also suspended for one day of school. Huron's lacrosse matches, scheduled for this past Saturday and Monday, were postponed. "Inappropriate is inappropriate," Huron athletic director Dottie Davis said Monday after meeting with lacrosse varsity players and their parents. "It disrespects women, and that's the clear message we need to have the students understand - what may be fun to them isn't necessarily fun to everyone else." Carolyn's mother, Melinda, said she and her husband were stunned when their daughter informed them of Wennersten's prom invitation. "It's hard to know what to do," Melinda Campbell said. "It just happened. I hate to say, 'No harm, no foul' because some people were harmed.

I did my student teaching at Huron High School when I was at UMichigan and I can say that this shit never would have happened on my watch.  How do you suspend these kids for this?   If you want to suspend them for something suspend them for playing a pussy sport like Lacrosse.  But not for inviting a chick to the prom by mooning her.    This is arguably the dumbest suspension I’ve ever heard of in my life.   Listen I think I know a thing or two about disrespecting women and this isn’t even close.  I’m still trying to figure out who was harmed by this?  I mean the girl laughed and said yes.   Hasn’t this principle ever watched Laguna Beach?    Everybody is always searching for the next best way to invite somebody to prom?    Sometimes you got to step it up a level.    

It’s like Christmas come early for the Boston Media with the exception of Bob Ryan who is the only writer worth reading in this city.   Nobody and I mean nobody is happier than this group of miserable fucks that the Celts dropped two in a row in Atlanta.   You could almost hear Gerry Callahan and Shank having an orgasm as they wrote their articles today.  You don’t believe me?  Check out this garbage from Callahan’s piece;

"Celtics On brink of biggest collapse in Hub history"

"They spent the first six months of the season making NBA history, and here they are, flirting with history again. If they do not win two of their next three games, the 2007-08 Celtics will be remembered for only one thing:  The worst collapse in Boston sports history. There is a bright side, though. If they lose this series, at least they’ll get to throw out the first pitch at a Red Sox [ team stats] game in the year 2030. And it might take that long to get over this kind of collapse. It is almost unthinkable. The Celtics would be only the second No. 1 seed ever to lose a seven-game series to an eighth seed, and the first one was Dallas, which barely counts. A loss to the Hawks would be worse than the Patriots[ team stats] falling to the Giants in the Super Bowl because at least Rodney Harrison [ stats] tried to cover David Tyree A loss to Atlanta would be worse than any postseason loss the Red Sox ever suffered because, let’s face it, there is no equivalent to the Hawks in the baseball playoffs."

First of all since when does being tied 2-2 qualify as being on the brink of collapse?  And I love how he just acts like Dallas losing as the #1 seed didn’t count last year when everybody picked them to win the whole thing.   I wouldn’t put it past Callahan to think this was a 5 game series.  After all he’s probably watched a grand total of 3 minutes of basketball all year.  Seriously anybody who knows anything about the NBA playoffs knows that the series doesn’t even begin until you beat somebody on their home floor.   Yeah, it was surprising that the Celts lost both games in Atlanta.   But both those games were a hell of a lot closer than the demolition job we put on them at the Garden.  If Atlanta comes in and beats us tonight then all bets are off.   But is there anything over the course of this season or this series that make people think the Celts will lose tonight?   And even if the impossible happens and they do lose this series are we really saying this is the worst collapse in the history of Boston Sports?  Blowing a 2-0 lead?    Worse than the Pats losing the Superbowl?  Give me a fucking break.   This is why 97% of Boston Sports fans hate the Boston media.   Nobody like reading blowhards who have nothing interesting to say and whose only purpose in life is to say the most outrageous shit possible.    Do me a favor Gerry and get a fucking clue you miserable fuck.

VS.

By now everybody is aware that the NBA fined Paul Pierce $25,000 for allegedly flashing “gang signs” at the Hawks bench on Saturday night.  (Click here to watch the tape.) That gang sign of course being the dreaded “B”, representing the widely popular Bloods gang from Pierce’s hometown of Inglewood, CA.  Now I might not be from South Central but even I know Inglewood, historically, has always been up to no good.  Everybody knows that. 

However I don’t think what Pierce flashed was actually the Bloods' “B”. Instead I agree with Danny Ainge who says Paul Pierce was actually representing the “B” from “Blood, Sweat and Tears”, the 1970’s rock band that produced such hits as “Spinning Wheel” and “You Make Me So Very Happy.” Think about it - it makes perfect sense.  Pierce was in his formative years during “BS&T’s” heyday and their albums were probably playing 24-7 in the house.  I'm the same age as Paul and believe me, my parents had them on all the time.  Therefore, given all the facts, I’m going to have to disagree with David "Puffy" Stern and say Pierce was NOT flashing the “B” for the Bloods, but rather the “B” from his favorite band as a child - “Blood, Sweat and Tears”. 

Per usual, we’ll let the Stoolies decide.   Vote 1 for Bloods gang sign, vote 10 for “Blood, Sweat and Tears”. 

Nothing and I mean nothing says I love to fuck like an upper pussy tattoo. Especially when it's written in Chinese. Is there any doubt that this bitch will be making a guest appearance in Entourage next year? I mean why else would she be banging Jeremy Piven?

ANN ARBOR, Mich. -- An Ann Arbor couple's 7-year-old son ended up in foster care over Mike's Hard Lemonade.Christopher Ratte, 47, a professor at University of Michigan, claims he accidentally gave his son, Leo, some of the alcoholic beverage at Comerica Park a few weeks ago. He said he didn't even know the alcoholic lemonade existed."I got a beer for myself and asked Leo if he wanted a lemonade because there is a sign that said, 'Mike's Lemonade,'" said Ratte. He said he bought his son the drink at the beginning of the Tigers game and it wasn't until the ninth inning when a security guard noticed the bottle in Leo's hand.The security guard asked Ratte if he knew it contained alcohol. He said he didn't and when he went to grab the bottle out of the child's hand, the security guard grabbed it first."It's just the simple fact that I didn’t know this brand and didn’t suspect some of the lemonade sold in ballparks are alcoholic."A short time later, Ratte was being questioned by Detroit police at Children's Hospital, where the child was taken by ambulance. The child remained in foster care for two days before his mother, Claire Zimmerman, a U-M architecture professor, was able to take their son home as long as the father relocated to a hotel. It was two more weeks before the father could move back home.

So to recap: Kid asks for a lemonade. Dad buys goes to the concession stand and through a misunderstanding, gets handed a Mike's. Dad gives it to the kid. Dad is forced to live in a hotel for two weeks while kid ends up taken away from his two college professor parents in an upscale town to live with complete strangers in one of the worst cities in America. Thank God no one overreacted here. I guess Prof. Ratte should be grateful Comerica security didn't use lethal force on him right there on the spot.

I want to be ironic here, and make fun of this story, but I can't pull it off. Wryness escapes me. Sarcasm eludes me. All I'm left with outrage. Even conceding that you'd think a grown man should be familiar with Mike's, he ordered a lemonade and was handed a yellowish liquid that said "lemonade" on the bottle. It's not like they gave him something labeled "Mike's Heroin Mixed with Pure Gasoline" and he was "Here you go, Sport. Drink up." But even if you don't want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, or you want to err on the side of the kid's welfare, does anyone really think a guy looking to corrupt his kid would drive to Detroit, buy $40 tickets and ply him with $7 malt beverage in front of 45,000 witnesses? Apparently all the other problems in Michigan are solved; tens of thousands of kids in Detroit aren't living in rat infested squalor. There isn't urban blight everywhere. Deerborne isn't teeming with Islamo-fascist hate groups. Because they've got unlimited resources when it comes to protecting this one kid from his father's consumer ignorance. It seems to me this whole incident could've been prevented with fifteen simple words: "Hey! Professor Dumbledore! Your kid's lemonade has booze in it. What are you, an idiot?" I must be naive.

Umm, can anybody explain why the Hulkster is massaging his daughter's ass? Anybody? Maybe the Ultimate Warrier can help explain it.

Who would have thunk that the quote of the year on Barstool Sports would come from some 7 year old fat kid? That's what makes blogging great I tell ya. You just never know what the day is going to bring.

"It's fun to do bad things. I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friend"

Ha! Ha! Ha! I fucking love this kid. Get Latarian a movie deal already! And I want his sidekick who smokes "real" cigarettes in it too. He sounds like the next Wade Garrett if you ask me. This is totally going to be my defense when I have my hearing in two weeks to get my drivers license back.

Judge: "Sir why do you have so many moviing violations?

El Pres - "It's fun to do bad things. I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friend"

PS - Since when did the United States become China? Don't you think making this kid skip video games for a whole weekend is a little bit extreme?

More Jennifer here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com