Random Thoughts

Youk gets the big 2 out hit. I love that chick on the right.

Introducing Kaidy from Northeastern. FYI - This is how you spell your name when you're this hot. You don't spell it Katie like everybody else. You spell it with a "D" to let people know that you don't fuck around. This girl's tag line should be "I'm Hot. Deal With It"

Great job on this nomination. This is how it is supposed to work. I know there are a lot more Northeastern Coeds where this came from. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click Here For More Pics of Kaidy

From the Buffalo News:

If you never heard of Buffalo Bills rookie offensive tackle Demetrius Bell, you’ll be rooting for him when I tell you his story. Bell is the son of [Karl] Malone, but the Mailman had no role in Bell’s success except passing along athletic genes. The two have had very little contact during Bell’s life. His mother, Gloria Bell, reportedly was only 13 years old and Malone a college sophomore at Louisiana Tech when Demetrius was born. Malone might have served jail time had her family asked the district attorney to file criminal charges. Bell didn’t even know Malone was his father until after graduating from high school. When they finally met, Malone told the 18-year-old Bell it was too late to be his father, and that Bell would have to “earn his money on his own.”

First of all, no one welcomes this news more than Roger Clemens who's probably saying "13 years old? Now THAT'S sick." Second, I don't know who the Buffalo News, the Salt Lake District Attorney's office or Demetrius Bell think they are, getting all judgemental here. Does everyone need to be reminded who we're talking about? This is Karl freaking Malone. What... are there law against a pro athlete impregnating a 13 year old girl? Since when? If you're going to hold athletes to Age of Consent laws, where will our society be? The ability to bone any female you want is part of their rights as ballplayers. It's called the "Double Standard" and it's right there in the Constitution if Demetrius would just take the time to read it. When they build a statue of you, it means you can boink anyone, regardless of what it says on their birth certificate. It's part of the incentive for these guys to enter the thankless world of professional sports in the first place. What would happen if guys like Malone and Clemens were required to stick only with adult women? Who would give us thousands of hours of competitive entertainment? Lesser mortals that's who. That's a world I for one don't want to live in. Rock on, Mailman. (Thanks to J. Fitz for the story)

TAMPA - Prosecutors are trying to keep teacher Stephanie Ragusa behind bars until she stands trial on charges including unlawful sexual activity with minors. She was arrested Monday for the third time in six weeks in connection with allegations she had sex with two high school boys. This time, a sheriff's detective spotted her coming out of a student's house and learned they had just had sex again, according to an arrest report.

The student contacted a sheriff's detective April 16 to say he and Ragusa were staying in touch through text messages and had had sex as recently as the night of April 5. A 17-year-old male friend of the student was with them the night of April 5 and told investigators Ragusa had called the two of them by phone, asking that they pick her up at a Circle K convenience store...Ragusa and the student were in the back seat while the friend drove. The friend said he saw them kissing and saw Ragusa with her hand down the front of the student's pants. The friend drove back to the student's house. Ragusa and the student went to the student's room and had sex while the friend was in the living room, the 17-year-old told investigators.

All together now "Ragu-SA! Ragu-SA! Ragu-SA!" This is the unprecedented THIRD time she's been graded here, (click here for the first, and here for the second) but she keeps coming back for extra credit. Only Stephanie's slightly-above-average looks are keeping her out of the Sex Scandal Teacher starting lineup. But clearly she won't rest until she's the best there ever was, in this game. She's the player without the natural skills who out works everyone and achieves greatness through pure grit and determination. She's the Pete Rose of deviant educators. The Terry O'Reilly of perverted teachers.

As a side note, when are these kids going learn that if you want to brag to someone about how your teacher is still seducing you, call a friend? Text a classmate. Post it on your MySpace. Or better yet, email it to jerry@barstoolsports.com. But do not brag to your local police department. It's counter productive.

The Grades:
Looks: Oce again, she could sleep with a hundred kids... hopefully she has, but she's still a Grade: B
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: Steph is obviously learning from the greats. She gets released from jail then goes right back to the kid to get caught again like Mary Kay Letourneau. She does it in the back seat of the car while his friend drives like Deb Lafave. The word for that is "legendary." Grade: A+
Intangibles: We still don't know how many "victims" she has. She's like a newly captured serial killer except instead of dead bodies, she's left a trail of very happy school boys. Grade: A+
Overall: A (Thanks to Jeffrey J for the link)

Watching the Hornets-Mavs series the only thing UB can think about is that Avery Johnson nut shot. If you watch that reaction and don't laugh then you should be struck down like Kurt Rambis going to the hole...

Now that we've had a couple of days to digest the Patriots draft and look over what the pundits are saying about it, I've got a few disjointed observations that I couldn't organize into any kind of coherent theme. So here they are. And for the record, I couldn't possibly care less that they're getting mostly C's and B-'s from everyone. Show me a guy who thinks Jerod Mayo was a reach at No. 10 and I'll show you a guy who wanted them to take Koren Robinson over Richard Seymour.

*The Pats pick I can't wait to watch is Michigan LB Shawn Crable. I can't take my eyes off the kid, because he's a physical freak. No kidding, he's got the longest arms I've ever seen in my life. They're like Kevin McHale's except on a 6' 5" body. He looks like Kevin Kline in "Dave" when he uses the big, industrial robot arms to say "I caught a fish that was... this... big." Check Crable out in mini camp, his elbows start at his knees. He's like a pterodactyl.

*The biggest superstar to emerge out of the 2008 rookie class will be Mini Muhammed, Darren McFadden's mother. She's not only an admitted "recovering" crack addict, she's never seen a live microphone she's not willing to say ill-advised things into. She spilled the beans that he was leaving school early, which was quickly denied, then the next day he announced he... was leaving school early. Mini openly lobbied for Run DMC to be drafted by Dallas and said she hated New York ...at a press conference in New York. While the Jets were holding the 6th pick. And she infamously was found driving a brand new Cadillac Escalade given to her by a Razorback booster, which almost cost her son the chance to play in the Cotton Bowl. Move over, Richard Williams; this chick is Crazy Sports Parent Hall of Fame material.

*There were doubts about McFadden's "character" which probably did two things:
1) Made some teams shy away
2) Guaranteed he'd be a Raider.
And on the way to the podium, McFadden committed three violations of the league's Personal Conduct Policy.

To see the rest of this random nonsense, click here...

You got to hand it to the Knicks. They know how to treat their fans. I mean who cares about being the laughing stock of the league when you offer a 30% discount on merchandise purchases. That totally makes up for Isiah's reign of terror.

What do people think of Denise Richards? I've always been on the fence with her. Sometimes I think she's super hot and sometimes I don't see what all the hype is about. Obviously she's hotter than your average MILF, but I'm curious what the Stoolies think. And please deduct one point for the flower in her ear. Yeah that's pretty fucking sexy, but props are illegal when rating chicks.

See this is what people don't get. Dudes who are secure in their manhood can dance to the MNF theme song, blog about the Hills and cry at the end of League of Their Own and still pull a ton of pussy. Chicks love that shit.

I know that when things go bad like they they did last night there is only one thing that can cheer me up. And that's some good old fashioned patriotic photos of Spenser and Heidi in Washington DC. It's enough to give me goosebumps. Seriously I'm not even going to pretend to understand what is going on here. Heidi and Spenser operate on like a totally different level from every other F list celebrity on the planet. I'm totally confused on whether they realize they are a joke and are just playing up on that fact or whether they think people take them seriously and are doing this type of shit for real. Either way they are fascinating to me.

PS - Can we get more of Brody's girlfriend Cora Skinner on the Hills please? Yikes! Hey LC good luck competing with this you little bitch. This is what you get for beings such a cunt to Audrina. You better run your ass back to Steven. Slut!!! Slut!!!! I fucking love the Hills.

In the span of four days, the Celtics have lost 2 games, along with their composure, focus and ability to play team defense. Not to mention there’s the possibility Kevin Garnett will be suspended one game for pushing a referee during last night’s skirmish with the newest Hawks toughguy, Zaza Pachulia. And Kendrick Perkins will likely be suspended for leaving the bench. And instead of flashing gang symbols, maybe Paul Pierce should practice free throws or make some clutch baskets. While I am it, I’ll say that dope Mike Woodson is out-coaching Doc Rivers. And fuck you again Chris Wallace for trading Joe Johnson. We’re still paying for the mistakes that piece of shit GM made 6 years ago. I’ll lose my mind if I hear another moron say Tony Allen is a lockdown defender and should have been covering Johnson in the 4^th quarter. How about someone stepping into the lane and hacking Johnson? Maybe Doc could have tried this unique concept called a double-team? I’d rather have Josh Childress taking open jumpers than watching Johnson score. Do me another favor Doc, keep Sam Cassell on the bench. Something better change and fast, or our dream season will become a nightmare.

Chuck – Red’s Army

Everybody and their grandmother are blaming me for the Celtics Game 4 loss because I made them my mortal lock.  Well I don’t believe in jinxes, hexes and all that other voodoo bullshit.  Instead I blame the loss on Donny Marshall.  Why the fuck isn’t Tommy Heinson calling these games?   Yeah I know he’s old, but this is the playoffs.   Marshall probably knee capped him or something.  Listen I don’t care whether I need to stick Heinson in a wheel barrel and push him to Atlanta myself.   He needs to go to these road playoff games from now on.  No more fucking Donny Marshall.   This shit may fly in the regular season but not in the playoffs.   There is just something not right about the guy.    Maybe it’s the fact he acts like he was a 9 time all star or something.  Dude, you were a poor man’s Jake Voskuhl at best.     Now would you please fucking get pissed when Garnett gets head butted instead of just sitting there with a thumb in your ass reminiscing how something similar happened when you were riding the pine in New Jersey.    So if you want to blame anybody blame him not me.  Or maybe blame the entire Celtics defense for the fact Joe Johnson went 1 on 5 like 10 straight trips and scored every time.   But if you really think I'm the problem then the Celts are in deep shit. Because I can tell you right now I'm betting the fucking house on them Wednesday Night.

Okay I'm officially done referring to Casey Connelly as "Sam Keller's girlfriend" From now on Keller will be referred to as Casey Connelly's boyfriend. Because no offense to Sam Keller, but he is a nobody and the future is much, much brighter for Casey than it is for him. I have no idea how or why this chick has become an Internet sensation, but I don't ask questions I just blog. So here is a Barstool Sports Exclusive. The definitive Casey Connelly collection. Warning some NSFW shots in there. Click here for a Barstool's Casey Connelly Wake Up Photo Gallery

- Big thanks to Brett who showed why the Stoolies are a force to be reckoned with. This is why we lift all them weights....