Random Thoughts

Hockey kind of sucks when you don't score.

Obviously there have been plenty of classic fights between the Bruins and the Canadiens through the years. Here are the top 3 I could find:

Clip 1: Jonathan beats the crap out of Bouchard.

"Hey, it looks like the linesman got popped!"

Clip 2: Old-time hockey from the early 70's. Even the Boston police get into the action.

"And we're going to have a donniebrook here right down below..."

Clip 3: What a fucking cheap shot by Nilan.

"Courtnall? Who's HE going with down there? This thing has spilled out into the hallway between the dressing rooms... This is unbelievable."

Introducing Jenny from somewhere in MA. Anyway, I'm about to rush off and do my paper route so I don't have time to gush on and on about Jenny. Let me just say I would never have the balls to talk to her in a million years at a bar even though I can almost guarantee she would be the girl I'd be most attracted to in the place. Total wheelhouse for me.

Keep the smokeshow submissions coming! We don't need permission. Just send along the hotties. I will not be intimidated! Send all girls to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click here for more pics of Jenny

So I'm doing the blog this afternoon and just received a breaking news-type text message from El Pres saying "Habs fans are everywhere in Boston" and this week's paper route might be in jeopardy. Now this is not to be confused with next week's paper route being in jeopardy because he's losing his license. We're talking about today. Let's hope he makes it home in time for the game. And in a strange, yet unrelated twist to the story, my brother texted me 10 seconds later from DC saying he was stuck behind the Pope in traffic.

VS.

Within the past 48 hours our friends at the Inside Track have reported than Kevin Youkilis set a wedding date with his future bride Enza Sambataro and that Dan Koppen got married to ex Pats cheerleader Amber van Eeghen this past weekend.   Man, you got to love being an athlete huh?   Because make no mistake about it.  Neither of these guys would have a shot in hell with these types of chicks if they were 9 to 5 guys.  I ain’t mat at them.   This is what should happen when ugly guys become pro athletes.   Better they get the girl than hippy artists and singers and shit like that.  Anyway this naturally leads to the question of who did better?   Frankly I think it’s a tough call.     I definitely think Enza is much hotter than Amber.    But at the same time there are all these rumors out there that she slept with the entire city of Boston before finally settling on Youk.  Kind of like that slut from Bull Durham who marries the virgin because he's the first guy who takes her seriously.    Therefore, despite how hot Enza is I think my choice would be Amber Van Eeghen just because I haven’t heard any stories about her.   I’ll sacrifice a little bit in the looks department for peace of mind any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

Vote 1 for Youk and 10 for Koppin

Does the Hoff still know how to do it or does the Hoff still know how to do it? He never fails to make me laugh whenever I see him. The guy is the king of wearing the perfect one liner t-shirt. First it was "Don't Hassel The Hoff" and now we get "I'm Not Dead Yet." Brilliant. Somebody cue the music already..!

LATimes.com - For a second straight year, Swim With Mike set a fundraising record. Saturday's event easily cleared $1 million, with proceeds going to scholarships for athletes who have become physically challenged. Temperature hovered around 90 degrees, so it was no wonder they set an attendance record. Scholarship recipients from as far away as Texas, Stanford and Syracuse were on hand. The organization was founded in 1981 when USC swimmer Mike Nyeholt broke his neck in an accident. What started as a fundraiser for one man turned into a program that is funding 27 scholarships this year alone. The latest recipient is an LAPD officer who was shot in the line of duty. Saturday's festivities were highlighted by relay races with the USC football team pushing Song Girls across the pool.

This is a freaking brilliant idea.     Barstool Sports should totally do an event like this.    I’d say the Staff of the Stool could push the Barstool girls across a pool but there are a few problems with this scenario.   First of all, I’m pretty sure I’m not in good enough shape to complete one lap in a pool never mind pushing a chick at the same time.   Second and more importantly nobody and I mean nobody want to see us in bathing suits.   So we’d need to recruit like the BC football team or something to help us out.   Plus I don’t really want to give the money to charity.  Does that make me a bad person?

PS - Is Pete Carrol married to a fat version of Angelina Jolie?

Also, click here for more Song Girls.

“They’re a team that obviously is very good,” Hawks forward Josh Childress said. “I like our chances. We match up pretty well with them. In the games we played them we have played well, but we weren’t able to finish. I feel like we’re still trying to get better at that. We’re a team that has nothing to lose. We’re going to go out there and just fight.”

I respect Josh Childress' confidence but I don't quite get how the Hawks match-up well with the Celtics. We beat them by 23, 10 and 10 this season. KG dropped 27 points, 19 rebounds, six assists and three blocks in the first win. Paul Pierce went off for 30 pts and 6 rebounds in the second win. And in the final game, Sam Cassell scored 15 of his 20 pts in the fourth quarter as the Celtics' backups beat Atlanta. I'll be stunned if this series goes 5 games.

Chuck - Red's Army

Is there another franchise in pro sports more embarrassing than the Knicks right now? What Isiah Thomas did to that team is criminal. If it happened to fans in any other city, I would have sympathy. But since it's New York, I'll continue to laugh my ass off.

FoxSports.com -- Drake coach Keno Davis has agreed in principle to take the Providence job.  According to sources close to the situation, Davis will be introduced at a news conference at 5 p.m. on Tuesday afternoon. One source said that Davis will sign a seven-year deal that will pay him about $1 million per year. Davis, the AP's National Coach of the Year, met with Providence on Monday and finalized the decision earlier this morning.

Well this is just another brutal example of what Keno has done to me in my life.  The first time I was introduced to the game was at the Admiral Spa in Providence back in ’94 and it’s been downhill ever since.  Last night I just wrote a 1000 word, hard-hitting, well-researched article for this week’s Stool titled “Searching for Bobby Gonzalez” where I gave my top 10 candidates for the previously-open-job at PC.  Bobby Knight, Pat Summitt, Rick Pitino’s kid.  I covered the gamut on this one, and now today, this.  Meaningless. 

As far as the hire, getting the AP National Coach of the Year sounds pretty good to me as a Friar fan.  Apparently Keno Davis could’ve gone to Stanford or Ok State but instead he chose PC.  Why?  Who knows.  Sure, Drake was upset in the first round this year to Western Kentucky on a miracle 3, but that’s closer than Providence has been to the second round in the entire Tim Welsh era.  So in short, good hire. Bad timing.  Round of 32, here we come.  

I’m not going to sit here and pretend to be a hardcore Bruins fan because I’m not.   In fact, I didn’t watch one hockey game the entire year with the exception of the all star game because my buddy bet an obscene amount on the over.  (It went under by a goal by the way)   Anyway that’s neither here nor there.   The bottom-line is that I got Bruins Fever right now and I’m not going to apologize for it.  If people want to call me a Bruins Pink Hat, that’s fine by me.   But I’m firmly on the Bruins bandwagon even though our B’s blogger Rear Admiral keeps trying to push me off.   Bottom-line is I don’t understand people who don’t get into the playoffs.    Listen, playoff hockey is a totally different animal than the regular season.    And more importantly than that, the Bruins represent Boston.    This isn’t the Revolution, the Boston Lobsters or the Cannons we’re talking about here.   This is a team with deeply rooted tradition and history in this city.    I mean how can you be from this city and not be appalled by the amount of Canadian fans at the Garden for Game 2?    I don’t care whether the NHL sucks or not.   I don’t care whether Jeremy Jacobs sucks or not.  I don’t even care that Versus is the official network of the NHL.  The Bruins are battling their asses off right now and it’s time for this city to wake up and get behind them.  

PS – When did Jack Edwards become nuts?   I love listening to him call the game.  "NO CALL!"   "ANOTHER DIVE!"  

People have been sending me this video for the past couple weeks, but it was on a website that I couldn't copy it from. Finally somebody sent us a link of it from youtube so we can post it. Hilarious!

The MLB season is off to a relatively quiet start. There are no huge controversies to speak of. No team is off to a lightning-quick start out of the gate. Only Detroit has stumbled badly. So far there are no real compelling story lines. Now Curt Schilling and his personal physician Dr. Craig Morgan, have gotten involved in a he said/he said that includes the good doctor suggesting the possibility of Schill signing with the Yankees next year. All this adds up to one inescapable conclusion: A giant shitstorm, fueled by a bored Boston sports media desperate for something to talk about, is about to make landfall.

Here is part of what Morgan has said, both on ESPN Radio in Philly yesterday and on WEEI this morning: "It's my opinion that he's (Schilling) angry enough that... even though he's 40 years old, it's entirely conceivable that he will have the operation, rehab, and pitch for the Yankees next year... He called me when he was angry about a month ago and was having recurrent pain, and said 'Listen, I want to pitch again next year,' and the possibility of the New York (Yankees) option, he would consider...He told me, despite this thing, he doesn't think he's done and he wants to pitch next year. And if you read between the lines, that's (pitching for the Yankees) definitely a possibility."

Schilling came on afterward and to paraphrase, he said he didn't hear Morgan's interview, but that the notion that Schilling was "angry" is just the doctor's "opinion" and that Morgan "misremembered" their conversation." Schilling flat out stated "Wearing pinstripes is not an option; never has been an option."

Honestly, the idea that there's some slim chance that a 42 year old Schilling, coming off a theoretically lost 2008 season and hypothetical arm surgery, could end up pitching in the Bronx is such a non-story it isn't worth the blog space it takes up here. But that won't stop the old media in town from acting like Schilling is missing, angry and carrying a suitcase nuke.

The bigger story here is the way the Sox handle injury reports. I remember a story from Patriots training camp in 2004. The Sox had just traded Nomar, and the newspapers and airwaves were doing wall-to-wall speculation about Nomar's Achilles tendon injury. Did he really hurt it in Spring Training? Or was it in the offseason and he made the Ft. Myers BP story up? Did anyone see the line drive he claimed hit him? Was he dogging it? Angry about his contract? Was it steriod-related? One of the beat writers was discussing the topic with Bill Belichick and some of the coaches, and Belichick said "See? This is why we don't talk about injuries."

As with all of Belichick's philosophies, this is perfect, and the Sox should take the same approach. If Schilling, Morgan and the Sox are going to carry out this public rasslin' match over the condition of his arm or his treatment or his prospects for 2009, how does any of that help the Red Sox win the World Series this year?

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A 15-minute film of Marilyn Monroe engaging in oral sex with an unidentified man will be kept from public view by a New York businessman who has bought it for $1.5 million, the broker of the deal said on Monday.   Memorabilia collector Keya Morgan said he recently arranged the sale of the silent, black-and-white film from the son of a dead FBI informant who possessed it to a wealthy Manhattan businessman who wants to protect Monroe's privacy. "The gentleman who bought it said out respect for Marilyn he's not going to make a joke of it and put it on the Internet and try to exploit her," said memorabilia collector Keya Morgan. "That's not his intention and I would never get my name involved if that were to happen."

Wait?   Are you telling me that there is a Marilyn Monroe sex tape out there and we don’t have access to it?  This is a terrible, terrible miscarriage of justice!   It’s unfathomable, unethical, unconscionable and most of all UN American!   I hate to break it to this Manhattan businessman, but Marilyn Monroe is fucking dead.   You don’t have to worry about protecting her privacy anymore.    I’m sure she won’t care if the world gets to see her giving a beaner or not.   

PS – If I knew this thing was for sale I totally would have offered more than 1.5 million dollars for it.  All you need to do is charge people like 1 dollar per download and you’d make 10 million before the day was over.   It’s the biggest no brainer in the history of earth.     The guy who sold this got royally screwed.

Double PS - I love everybody debating whether the guy getting blown was JFK or Joe DiMaggio etc.  Who fucking cares who the dick belongs to?    The dick isn’t what puts the asses in seats.  It’s about Marilyn giving a BJ.   The dick could belong to anybody.

Much more Inez here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com