Random Thoughts

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something different about Sasha Cohen lately...

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Sasha Cohen has improved her shape thanks to what Roger Clemens would call "a legendary workout regimen." While I applaud Sasha's new look, according to my Sweet Irish Rose, this means an end to her Olympic career and it's all "Stars on Ice" all the time now. Apparently it's hard to skate with those things. And apparently they have no appeal among the judges. I don't get that... Why wouldn't male figure skating judges be interested in breasts? Doesn't make any sense.

To see more Befores & Afters of Sasha Cohen, click here...

I have to comment on what's going on right now in the Smokeshow South bracket between Kelly and Jonida (see ass above). This is the matchup they're talking about on the streets, at the barbershops and in the chat rooms. 2 heavy favorites going head-to-head in the first round. Right now Kelly - who is freaking ridiculously hot, is up 56.1% to 43.9% over Jonida. But I have to put my Billy Packer hat on for a second and call out the Committee for giving Jonida such a terrible draw. I mean this is the type of matchup you see in a Regional Final, maybe even National Semi. Not in the first round. Either way, bad job by the Committee on pairing these two 1-seeds in the first round. Hopefully this won't happen again in future Smokeshow tourneys.

As a side note, Kelly is my pick to cut down the nets in Abington.

From his interview this week with SI.com...

SI.com: Do you ever think you've gone over the top with a call?

Johnson: I do. That UCLA-Gonzaga call is one. Especially when I scream "BATISTA WITH THE CATCH." It's way too much to me.

Say it ain't so, Gus! You can't regret that call. That would be like Johnny Most regretting "Havlicek steals the ball! Havlicek steals it! It's all over! It's all over!" Or Red Barber wishing he never said "The Giants won the pennant! The Giants won the pennant!" I mean I can't believe what I'm reading.

The only call I thought Gus would ever regret was "Sorrentine... Oh! He hit that one from the parking lot!" Now people forget that game was in Worcester and everybody knows there's no way Sorrentine would've made it out of there alive from the parking lot.

Note: Gus is in Detroit tonight calling Kansas vs. Villanova and Davidson vs. Wisconsin.

I never thought I'd live to see the day when Greg Gumbel is calling the play by play of a Quidditch match. Canada is totally laughing at us right now.

PS - Somebody please kill the kid wearing the Red Sox hat in this video.

(Hideki Matsui shows a sketch of his new wife during a press conference at a hotel Thursday in Tampa. (The Associated Press/Kyodo News / March 27, 2008)

picture from Newsday

Yankee or no Yankee you've got to admit that Hideki Matsui's new wife is an absolute smokeshow. Move over Mark Kotsay's wife, there is a new sheriff in town. In light of this new development here is how I rank the top 3 MLB player wives right now. 

1. Hideki Matsui's Wife

2. Mark Kotsay's wife

3. Lisa Dergan (Scott Podsednik's wife)

There are some celebrities that just don’t interest me and George Clooney is one of them.  Seems like a nice enough guy and I can understand why chicks dig em, but I could care less about him.    Anyway apparently he has been dating this chick Sara Larson for over a year now and supposedly it's getting real serious.    Well today Star Magazine unveiled the above pictures which were taken right around the time they met each other.   (Note – that is not George Clooney whose legs she has herself wrapped around) So here is my question.  Would you be bullshit if you were Clooney?   In other words if this was a girl you were dating and possibly wanted to marry, how would you react if somebody showed you these photos?  Personally I’d be bullshit.  But I’m the fucking worst with this stuff.  I don’t want to even know my girlfriend had ex’s never mind seeing pictures her doing the dirty in the middle of a club.    I’m not saying I’d break up or anything but I’d definitely hold a sneaky grudge for at least 6 years.     And whenever we got in a fight I’d mention that at least I wasn't grinding dudes dicks off at The Palms and sticking my ass in the air and licking magazines.    I’m not saying it’s right or fair, but that’s just how I am.  So here is the question.   If this was your girlfriend how mad would you be?   Vote 1 for not at all and 10 for you’d dump her ass.   

From SportsbyBrooks:

The DETROIT NEWS reports today that in a sex harassment suit filed against the MLB Tigers, a female former employee said the Comerica Park video crew “routinely shot inappropriate ’soft core videos’ of female fans at baseball games.” The woman, Reanen Maxwell, also said that “softcore videos” were “freely and openly shown in the scoreboard area to all employees and supervisors on almost a regular basis,” and were stored in a room behind the scoreboard.” The man in charge of the ballpark video operation, Scott Fearncombe, said “Up-skirt shots would have been technically difficult from the dugout-level cameras … because of the way people are sitting and the angle of the cameras.”

Sure, we could take the low road and criticize Reanen Maxwell. We could assume, correctly, that she's a bitter, unloved shrew who looks like Moe from the Three Stooges and goes through her life as a self-appoined Fun Cop and making sure she can put a stop to other people's enjoyment every chance she gets. Instead I think we should thank her. God forbid this idea spreads beyond Comerica. I mean what would become of us if Fenway started doing this? Then where would we be? Just because free, intelligent, adult women decide that they want to excercise their right to show skin at the ballpark, there's no reason for any of us to look or for the Sox to show them on the Jumbotron. So thanks, Reanen for saving us from ourselves. And from these attractive women at the ballpark who are a threat to us all. Good luck with your efforts to put women in burkhas, take away their right to drive and outlaw kite flying.

Also a big tip of the Stool to Ferancombe for saying they don't have the right angle for upskirt shots. Because that proves that at least he tried. Nice effort, Scott.

VS.

Did people watch the Hills this week?   Basically Lauren went to Paris and some French dude showed her the Eiffel Tower yada, yada, yada.     Honestly I’ve never seen anything like it.  Literally all the French guy had to do was mention the Eiffel Tower and then two seconds later he’s whisping her off on his vespa, popping champagne and sticking his dick in her like it’s nobody’s business.    It’s crazy!  You got to love these fucking French Guys.  They must think they have the world by the balls.   Well enough is enough.   It’s time to fight back.  From now on whenever some foreign chick comes to Boston I’m taking her to Red’s statue in Faneuil Hall.   Listen two can play the seduction game.    Sure chicks like the Eiffel Tower, but as far as I know the Eiffel Tower hasn’t won 16 World Championships.    So it's time for another classic Barstool showdown. What is the more romantic landmark? Eiffel Tower or Red's statue....Vote 1 for tower and 10 for Red

I have no idea what this kid was doing or trying to prove with that alien skateboarding technique, but I'm glad he got owned by the parked car. It served him right. Straight skateboarding is bad enough without trying to make it even more alternative.

nme.com -- Drinks manufacturer Dr Pepper have announced they will give a free can of the soft drink to every American – except former guitarists Slash and Buckethead – if Guns N Roses release 'Chinese Democracy' this year.

The album has been in the pipeline since 1993, when the group released their covers album 'The Spaghetti Incident?', but its release date has continually been pushed back.

Dr Pepper's Marketing Director Jaxie Alt said: "It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love. So we completely understand and empathise with Axl's quest for perfection – for something more than the average album. 

We know once it's released, people will refer to it as 'Dr Pepper for the ears' because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic."

Well I can tell you one thing about Chinese Democracy, it ain’t gonna be no instant classic.  I don’t care if Gus Johnson is the producer, this album, if and when it ever comes out, is going to suck beyond belief. Yes, worse than the Spaghetti Incident. And as far as Dr. Pepper, leave the free shit promotions to the experts at Taco Bell, Cinemax and Jordan’s Furniture. There’s a better chance of David Archuletta singing “Mr. Brownstone” next week on American Idol than GNR releasing Chinese Democracy this year. I'm sorry, but this just reeks of nothing more than a cheap publicity stunt by the scumbags at Dr. Pepper...

...And in other news, free Barstool hats for everyone if the Knicks win the NBA title.

Much more Cat here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com

Well that was awful. Hey Ben Howland, next time guard the 12th man off the bench on the last play of the game. It's Gambling 101. The Tark would've never let that happen.

PS - Has Carolina missed a shot yet?