MIDDLEBOROUGH - It's official. Town Hall is haunted. That's the conclusion of a pair of spirit seekers who came last week to investigate ghostly happenings in the sprawling complex erected in 1873. Last night, they presented audio and photographic evidence, including a chilling recording of what they said was a voice crying for help. Town board members joked about the findings, but no independent authorities were present to verify the discovery. Before they played a recording to a small, hushed crowd, Ed Beaulieu and Len Anderson of the Paranormal Institute of New England, explained that they had shouted, "Do you want us to leave?" as they scoured Middleborough Town Hall in the search for otherworldly activity. Then, they played an audio clip. On it, a guttural man's voice could be heard pleading in a 1.1-second digital recording, "Help me." An independent tape taken at the same time by Paul Lazarovich, a Middleborough resident and radio commentator on WVBF's "Cranberry Country Journal" on Saturday mornings who had accompanied the sleuths that night, was also played. "Help," a voice could be heard saying. Selectmen took the news well, thanked the men for their work, and even gave them a round of applause before they granted permission to come back and to explore further.

What do you mean Selectmen took the news well?  What are they stupid?   Dude, your shit is haunted!   What don’t you get about that?    This is no laughing matter.    Talk about a total lack of respect for the ghosts and these ghost hunters.       They record a guy screaming for help and it is verified by the Cranberry Country Journal (experts in the paranormal from what I hear) and the selectman start laughing and clapping?    It’s almost like they wanted the Townhall to be haunted.  What a total slap in the face to the ghost.   Now it has no choice but to kill somebody.   Book it.    Somebody is going to die soon at the Middleborough Town Hall.  At least that's how I'd handle the situation if I was an insulted ghost.