HILLSBORO — A former substitute teacher in the Dunklin School District in Jefferson County will be sentenced next month after pleading guilty of having sex with a 14-year-old student.
Teresa Engelbach, 22, of Pevely, pleaded guilty last week to one felony count of second-degree statutory rape and one misdemeanor count of sexual misconduct. She could get up to 7 years in prison and a fine of up to $5,000 on the rape charge. The charges against Engelbach were filed last March after the student, then in the eighth grade, reported to a teacher that he had had sex with Engelbach. The incidents took place last year between Feb. 1 and March 13 in several areas of Jefferson County and did not involve other students, police said.

Is there any more thankless... and vital... job in America than that of substitute teacher? Teresa Engelback is living proof. How is a full time, tenured teacher supposed to make it through a grueling 180 day work year without being able to bang in sick every couple of weeks? And they can't do that without dedicated, anonymous heroes like Teresa. All she asks is the chance to bump uglies with a 14 year old boy? Is that too much to ask? But she forgot the unwritten rule of seducing pre-pubescent boys: For the woman, lovemaking isn't over until you cuddle. For the boy, it's not over until he's bragged about it to another teacher. And as a result, poor Miss Engelback gets persecuted and we lose another valuable substitute teacher. Thanks a lot, society.

The Grades:
Looks: Quite possibly the best looking pedophile teacher of 2008. Almost, though not quite, in Carrie McCandless' class. Grade: B+
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: She was a substitute. He was 14. To have picked the kid out of a crowd of substitute-torturing middle school students and identified him as worthy of repeated boinking... that takes a special kind of warped sensibilities. Grade: A-.
Intangibles: Teresa loses points fot the absence of nude pictures, love letters or obsessive text messages. But the phrase "several areas of Jefferson County" helps a lot. Grade: B-.
Overall: A-.
Thanks to Ryan McG for the link.