Random Thoughts

Reader Emails:

FYI, it was Mike Millbury who beat the guy with his own shoe, not O'Reilly.   -rob  

Manzo, Milbury hit the guy with his shoe, not O’reilly.  -rich

Hey Pete, I'm glad you liked the tag team O'Reilly jersey in the stands, however, It was Mike Millbury hitting the rangers fan with his shoe, not O'Reilly. If you're going to reference pop culture moments that happened before you were born, get your fact straight first.   -Sean

Well it was certainly a rough week for me here.  I bowled like shit on Monday, my cable goes out Tuesday, and now I f*cked up on my article to boot.  Not to make excuses, but I wrote that just hours before playoff bowling. Plus, it’s The Stool, we’re not exactly known for getting facts straight.  Still, I have to take a mea culpa here for my mix-up of O’Reilly and Milbury (see above).  It just goes to show what I said about Bruins fans being the most die-hard in Boston. It's true. Half of Red Sox Nation wouldn't know Rich Gedman if he stole their wallet on the T.

These glasses are so fucking ugly that I'm guessing the First Lady probably owns a pair. Because nobody wears uglier sunglasses than her. In fact I almost stopped seeing her after two dates because of them. I just couldn't take her seriously. But she didn't put out right away so I had to keep her around and she slowly grew on me.

Anyway the Olsen Twins need to stop worrying about being so ugly/fashionable and start being more concerned about being hot. After all being a bizillionaire can only get you so far in this world.

I know a lot of people are complaining that too much is being made about the big retirement announcement this week. But when a great athlete, a former champion, someone who's perfomed at a high level for a long time and entertained two generations of sports fans decides to hang it up, I think we owe it to them to pay tribute. Even at the risk of it being considered overkill.

Brett Favre? Hell, no... the Favre stuff has been way over the top. I'm talking about the retirement of two-time Olympic Ladies champion Katerina Witt, an announcement that's shocked the world. I don't think it's possible to say too much about her. Katerina was a true athletic/sexual legend. In the days before the invention of Anna Kournikova, Natalie Gulbis or Allsion Stokke, Witt was the undisputed Queen of the Sportsbabe Hill. She won gold at Sarajevo in 1984 and again at Calgary in '88, and in both instances, the competition was over as soon as she looked at the judges with eyes that said "If I win, I'll be in your hotel later wearing nothing but my gold medal." When the Iron Curtain fell, and secret East German government documents were made public, it was revealed that the Stasi (the Communist Secret Police) had bugged her apartment and recorded her boinking guys... the best argument ever for living in an oppressive police state.

But her greatest achievement was posing in Playboy in December of 1998. Because not only did it make it OK with my Irish Rose that I buy it, sheinsisted I do. Two Olympic golds, four world championships and wife-sanctioned porn purchases. Let's see Favre put any of those on his resume.

Click here to see a photo gallery of Katerina...

And click here for the NSFW version...

I was literally just on my way out the door to go get ready for our party tonight and almost forgot about this CT video I made last night.   This is the preview for next week’s Gauntlet.     I was literally in tears when I saw this.    Poor Adam.    I think he was just getting over CT punking him like 10 years ago in Paris.  “I’ll work you!  I’ll work you!”  He was just getting his life back together.    Plus this is the longest he’s ever lasted on a challenge show because the Veterans keep winning and not having to send anybody in the Gauntlet.    It was all coming up roses for Adam until he tried to break up another CT fight and once again got humiliated and degraded on national television.   You could almost see the life get sucked right out of him when CT dumps his beer on his head.   It was beautiful to watch.  Anyway, something tells me Adam’s therapist is going to have a whole new bag of issues to deal with when he gets home.   

PS – Coral’s legacy is forever tarnished.  I don’t care what her stats say.

1. Digger Phelps trying to get laid by a Kansas Cheerleader. I actually haven't seen this anywhere but us. I'm sure this will make all our Internet Cowboy's month as they get the chance to correct me.

2. Supposedly the first picture of the Stokke Show at Cal. She is so 2007. (Busted Coverage)

3. Erin Andrews Loves the Hard Wood sign. (Deadspin)

4. Ugly Indiana Cheerleader Gets Nasty in more ways than one. Click on this link to see what I mean. (Don Chavez)

Did people see Carly Smithson’s mom yesterday on American Idol?  Total bombshell!  What the hell happened to Carly?  Her mom must have gotten knocked up by some ugly dude when she was drunk or something.  I was going to post a picture of her but the first lady fucking deleted American Idol from our DVR without my permission.   Now some other blog will get credit for my witty observation.  That’s why chicks shouldn’t be allowed to touch the clicker.   Anyway, I digress.  Carly’s mom got me thinking about MILF’s in general and something that has been on my mind for months.    Is Whole Foods the MILF capital of the world or is it just the one in Hingham?  Because I’ve never seen anything like it.   I mean it doesn’t matter when you go in there, you’re bound to find MILF’s in their late 20’s early 30’s with rings the size of mountains running around in their little milf pants.  Every single one of them looks like they just came from the gym.   And they probably did too because that’s part of the contract when they agree to marry their rich husbands.  Just go food shopping and stay hot.     I’m telling you it’s literally a MILF paradise.   I’m wondering whether this is just Whole Foods in Hingham or does this phenomenon happen at every Whole Foods?

Nothing like kicking off a Cover Model Party of the Year Thursday with an old fashioned “You Make the Call!”  

Sadly, very sadly, I lost my cable on Tuesday night for absolutely no fucking reason whatsoever.  Obviously this is a big time loss.  However, always thinking with the glass half-empty, I thought of the last time a tragedy like this hit my apartment and that was when my remote broke in June 2006. 

Now it’s a close call, but I actually think a broken remote might be worse because you have to (gulp) get up to change the channel!  I mean nobody should have to do that.  I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.  At least without cable completely you have the choice of abandoning the premises, listening to the radio, etc.

In other words, you have options.  No remote = no options.  You're stuck with one, and only one channel all night. Anyway it’s certainly up for debate as far as the greater of two atrocities, scholars have argued this for years.

Vote 1 for no remote, vote 10 for no cable.

As always, You Make the Call!

Well it’s good to see my pick to win American Idol showing some signs of life this week.    He may have a shot at winning this thing after all.    Especially with David Archuleta choking all over a Phil Collins song like he did.  Nobody butchers Phil Collins like that and gets away with it. Nobody.  My only advice to David Cook would be to stop making googly eyes and sly little smiles at the camera.   That shit freaks me out and nobody in the history of American Idol has ever won doing that.  Still it was a real strong performance from Cook.   Plus you can never go wrong with Lionel Ritchie.  

As a side note, back in my college one of my roommates had an answering machine fetish.  He would always try to make these wacky messages for our apartment.    Hello from Lionel Ritchie was the best one he ever made.  The message would start with “Hello is it me your looking for” and then my roommate would bust in and say “Actually no Lionel they’re looking for Dave, Frank and Bram.    It was kind of lame but kind of funny all at once.       Not as good as my buddy who had Johnny Most saying he was out committing flagrant fouls and fiddling and diddling, but it was good nonetheless.

Any doubt now who the best team in the East is? The Celtics smoked the Pistons last night and virtually locked up home court advantage through the playoffs (check the schedule, Detroit is not making up 5 games). KG dominated. Maybe he got tired of all the media blowjobs given to LeBron and Kobe lately in the MVP debate. Perk was a beast. Rondo had the best dunk I’ve ever seen live (Balcony section 319 – not a bad deal for $27). So why am I a bit pissy this morning? No, it’s not the fact that I felt like I was raped after paying $28 to park. It’s because the Pistons are playing the “we were tired” card. They had to play Tuesday night at home against Seattle, making last night’s game in Boston the second in a back-to-back. In the NBA, that’s the equivalent of running 3 marathons. You’re expected to lose. According to Jackie Mac, one Piston official had his excuse ready before tip-off:

Their plane, delayed by weather, did not touch down in Boston until 4 in the morning, and, as one Pistons official snorted before the game, "We don't have a shot."

Pussy. You mean the players couldn’t sleep until noon? Spare me the whining, unless you play in the NFL.

Chuck - Red's Army

The high condo fee must be for the pool.

This is a completely unsubstantiated rumor from the ESPN Patriots messge board from a guy calling himself "NEinsider." Like all such things, my standard of proof is I believe it if it's something I want to believe. Therefore, this is entirely true:

"It seems there are interesting things going on in Foxboro. NE has TOTALLY shut ESPN out. NE is refusing to talk with or even allow anyone within the organization to communicate with even the few people at ESPN NE trusts which includes Berman and Jaws. Clayton and others are very frustrated.

Similar problems exist for Peter King at Sports Illustrated. People and players within the organization he formally had relationships with have turned a blind eye to his text messages, emails and cell phone messages. King is very frustrated. A few people at NE will talk with Banks but King is persona non grata in Foxboro. King contacted the NFL and was told it was his problem since the media develops thier own relationships and if they lose them tough cookies.

They have done something similar but not quite as complete with the Herald. Tomase is absolutely shut out and could lose his Pats beat since NOBODY will talk with him. No players, coaches or team officals will even aknowledge him. Karen G has some access but it is limited.

NE continues to communicate with people at the NFL Network such as Adam Shefter and Mike Mayock which is why Shefter had inside info on Moss deal. This was the reason NE gave Mike Reis the BB interview with the globe and shut everyone else out. This is not just a BB thing but comes from the Kraft family down.

NE is also very upset with the NFL over the handling of Walsh. NE is refusing to give Walsh blanket immunity because they know he has violated both state and federal law and they have the proof. If he gets blanket immunity they will not be able to use this info in the NE defense. Corporate Lawyers for NE and a noted Mass legal eagle feel NE is in the drivers seat with Walsh. This is why Mr Walsh and his attorney have been very quiet lately. They were provided with a partial copy of what NE has on him. Oops!!!"

This is gold. The whole story is a shot of adrenaline right through the breast bone into the heart of a Patriots Planet overdosing on misery and self pity. The Pats are back and people are going to pay for questioning their integrity and suggesting there's anything to this Walsh horseshit. Media types who thought they sensed weakness in the wake of the Super Bowl failure are finding out that nothing on Earth is more dangerous than an angry, vengeful Bill Belichick. They thought they could get him to play nice with them... empower these lowlifes... because he "hasn't won in three years." Instead, he's made a revenge list and he's crossing off names like The Bride in "Kill Bill." Can't you just picture that fat tub of goo Tomase going into his editor's office explaining why he hasn't broken a story in months? "Well, the thing is... you see... no one in Foxboro will talk to me..." And they answer back, "Clean out your desk, John..." Clayton? DEAD! King? DEAD? Tomase? DEAD! This is the first step on the road to Super Bowl XLIII...

With the Cover Model of the Year party happening tonight at Liquor Store, why not look back at the Stool's previous two winners. First we have Plymouth's Kim Nagle. Talk about setting the bar high for every cover girl to follow. UB can recall, long before joining the Stool, seeing her on the cover of the June 29th, 2005 issue and being absolutely floored (still have the issue).

Last year's winner Laura Lee was not only the proud recipient of the CMOY award, but also possesses, in UB's humble opinion, the world's greatest ass to go along with it.

Click here for more of Kim and Laura Lee...

Click here for highlights of our first Cover Model of the Year Party

Click here for highlights of last year's Cover Model of the Year Party