Random Thoughts

US Weekly - Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have more than just music in the works. “We’re definitely developing the Heidi and Spencer video game,” Pratt told Usmagazine.com last week at video game giant Electronic Arts' Burnout Paradise pre-Valentine’s Day lounge in L.A. Pratt, who said he is collaborating with EA on the game, told Us, “it's top secret. Let's just say that everyone will be addicted.” Good news to those who love-to-hate The Hills pair: “You can definitely play as us or you can play against us,” Pratt said. “You can even torture me.” Expect the game to hit shelves in 2009, Pratt said, “right around Christmastime, probably.” EA did not return e-mails for comment.

A video game of Heidi and Spencer?   This makes no sense to me on any level.   Don’t only dudes play video games?  And don’t mostly girls watch the Hills?  So my question is who is going to buy this game besides me?   

PS - All girls should be forced to wear the pants Heidi is wearing in this picture 24/7

Tonight Team Barstool kicks off the playoffs in the Media Bowling League. I won't give free publicity to our opponents by mentioning their names, but suffice to say they once said something scathing about Kati Cawley in that fishwrap they call a newspaper, so this time it's personal.

So with the stakes this high, it's as good a time as any to draw inspiration from the greatest fictional bowlers in TV history. And take special notice how on TV, bowlers are always stupid lower middle class schlubs, never a Niles Crane or a McDreamy. Only in real life will you find bowlers that are smooth, sophisticated Babe Magnets like us.

Click here to see the five greatest fictional bowlers in TV history...

HOBOKEN, N.J. (CBS) ― The racy photos of cops cavorting with Hooters waitresses rocked the Hoboken Police Department. Now, officers face disciplinary charges after a scathing report on their conduct was released.  The photos embarrassed and brought unwanted attention to the Hoboken police.  Officers of the disbanded SWAT team and their chief are seen in the photos having a ball during Mardi Gras, and with Hooters waitresses during the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.  "All are being held to account for their actions," Hoboken Mayor David Roberts said.  That could be bad news for five officers who are suing the department and SWAT leader, Lt. Angelo Andriani.  The officers claim Andriani intimidated them into attending the outings documented in the photos. Andriani firmly denies the allegations.

You know I was on the SWAT team’s side before I read this story.   I thought at most they should get a little slap on the wrist and that’s it.  I mean the whole point of going to Hooters (except in Boston where the chicks are gross) is to flirt with the waitresses.   It’s actually an insult if you don’t at least grope them and fondle their tits a little bit.   So in my book the cops were just doing their job.  But the second you say your boss “forced” you to go to Hooters is the second I lose all respect for you.   Tell me you don't like my firm, tell me you don't like my idea, tell me you don't like my fuckin neck tie, but don’t tell me that you were forced to go to Hooters.    Bottom line is that if “bosses” can suddenly be held accountable for their employees acting like jackasses around scantily clad chicks then I better find myself a good lawyer.

ESPN.com - The New England Patriots and Randy Moss are finalizing terms on a three year, $27 million deal, a source told ESPN's Chris Mortensen.

People who think the Pats were good last year haven't seen anything yet. Now we're pissed! Didn't anybody learn anything from that old Jim Croce song? "You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off that ole' Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with Belichick" The Giants fucked it up for everybody next year. We probably would have taken it easy on people if we won the Superbowl. But now 18-0 will be a major disappointment. We not only have to be undefeated but people need to die on the field while we are playing them. Literally die.

In case you’ve been a living in a closet the Barstool Sports Cover Model of the Year party is this Thursday at the Liquor Store.    And in case you’ve been living inside a closet inside of a closet the Liquor Store also is the only bar in Boston with a mechanical bull.    And while the Bull really doesn’t have anything to do with what we’re doing on Thursday it’s still going to be there and therefore has to be accounted for.    Because if I know one thing about chicks and bulls, it’s that once people start drinking the bull becomes a factor.   So without further ado here is are the best bull rides I could find on the web.   Also, here is a link to an article I wrote a couple years ago called the Anatomy of a Bull Ride.

PS - If you haven’t registered and you plan on going I highly suggest doing so today.  RSVP to covermodelparty@barstoolsports.com.  Nobody has received confirmation emails so people can stop freaking out. You'll get them today or tomorrow.

#1

Vs.

#2

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#3

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#4

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#5

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#6

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#7

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#8

Okay let me tell you how I broke this down.   First of all, I ruled out all the staged rides.  That means videos 2,6, and 7 are all out.   After that my favorite was the chick on spring break.  I think what we learned from that video is that you can never have enough shimmy in a bull ride.  I promise you I’ll pass out if anything remotely similar to this happens at our party on Thursday.   My second favorite is the chick in jeans because I think she’s the hottest girl out of all them.   Maybe I’m old fashioned but there is still nothing hotter than a hot chick in jeans riding a mechanical bull.    It’s as American as apple pie. Finally I have a message for all the ladies out there.  Take a good look at video #5.   I don’t care how hot you are.   I don’t care whether your skirt has flipped up and your ass is hanging out.   Once you fall off the bull at our party your ride is over.  None of this people coming out of the wood work to push you back up.   That’s totally illegal and I won’t stand for it on Thursday.

Psyched up for Wednesday’s colossal showdown with the Pistons? The hype for this game rivals the Colts-Patriots or Yankees-Red Sox. Okay…maybe in my dreams. Actually, I’m not even sure the local Boston media is aware the teams with the two best records in the NBA are playing at the Garden Wednesday night. Sports coverage on the local TV and radio shows breaks down like this: 50% Red Sox, 30% Patriots, 15% Celtics, 4% Roger Clemens and 1% Bruins. Why talk about the Celtics or surging Bruins when you can tell me about the Red Sox cookie contest? (Sorry Dan Roche, but your station’s obsession with the Sox is absurd) Enough about my gripes, we have a game to worry about. After toying with Atlanta last night, the C’s have won 5 straight. KG is rounding back into form, Ray Allen is shooting lights-out, Perk is a beast again and help is on the way. Sam Cassell and PJ Brown could both see minutes against Detroit. I put a lot of stock in home court advantage, which is why I see this as a big game for the C’s. A win puts us up 5 games in the loss column over the Pistons. Not to mention, Rasheed Wallace is a major douchebag and I enjoy watching him bitch and moan while the Pistons are getting smoked. Keep this in mind, Detroit is hosting Seattle Tuesday night. That game may be a cake-walk, but we all know how hard it is for NBA players to play on back-to-back nights.

Chuck - Red's Army

Has anybody seen this new show on HBO called In Treatment?  It is on every weekday at 9:30pm.  Essentially it follows a therapist’s treatment for the same four patients Monday through Thursday culminating with the therapist going to his own therapist at the end of week.  Then it starts all over again with the same patients coming back for their weekly sessions. So basically the viewer gets to watch everybody's progress.  Anyway The First Lady loves it.   And I have seen some critics give it great reviews. Personally I think it is by far the worst show in the history of television.  It is so boring and painful to watch that it literally made me nauseous the other day.  It is beyond me how anybody could think this is entertaining?   Listen I don’t need cars crashing into each other and chicks dyking in the street for me to like a show, but In Treatment is like watching paint dry.   Am I crazy or does everybody feel this way. Nobody likes this show right?    Hopefully whoever green lighted this at HBO has already been assassinated.

Anyway it's time for the Stoolies to weigh in on this show. Vote 1 for the worst show ever and 10 for this show rules which frankly is impossible.

Talk about an entrance!

Now I know that offensive rebounding has nothing to do with bowling, but I'll be damned if team Barstool doesn't come out physical tonight in the media league bowling playoffs. Nobody out offensive rebounds us in bowling. NOBODY! I'M FRUSTRATED!

PS - If we lose, I'm not going to sleep tonight.

PRIOR LAKE, Minn. (WCCO) ― An unruly fan at a high school basketball game got a rough reprimand for an incident that happened on Tuesday night. It was captured on tape and posted on YouTube.  It shows a student from Prior Lake High school on the court in the middle of a game when the Shakopee athletic director uses a no nonsense approach to get him off -- he tackles him. "It was a situation where we just reacted and I don't know if I would do it any differently if it happened today," said Shakopee athletic director John Janke.

This is like the most uplifting story we’ve had on the Stool in over a year.    Finally an adult throwing all that PC bullshit out the window and just smashing some punk who deserved to be smashed.  And the best part is that there is no outrage about what he did.  Nobody is debating whether the AD should be punished for tackling that fat bastard.  Everybody agrees the kid got exactly what he deserved.  It’s a great day to be from Minnesota.  It's a great day to be from America. 

- Thanks to Dave for the link

Bostonherald.com - Shortly after the Yankees’ new Boss, Hank Steinbrenner, complained about “what a bunch of (expletive)” Red Sox [ team stats] Nation is, Red Sox principal owner John Henry has responded. Sensing jealousy, Henry is killing Steinbrenner with kindness. He’s adopting him as one of his own - an offer Steinbrenner has already rejected“I’m a big Hank fan,” wrote Henry in an e-mail to the Herald. “Just to ensure he knows how cool Red Sox Nation is, (Saturday) we officially inducted him as a member of Red Sox Nation and we are sending him his membership card giving him access to an array of options including our newsletter, bumper stickers, pins, Green Monster seats and a hat personally autographed by David Ortiz [ stats].” When told about the offer, Steinbrenner said no thanks. “I am not joining Red Sox Nation, honorary or not,” Steinbrenner told the New York Post yesterday at Yankees headquarters at Legends Field. “I’ll respond to that later. Trust me, I am not joining Red Sox Nation.”

Can’t you just picture John Henry and Tom Werner sprinting into Theo’s office right after they sent this package to Hank Steinbrenner giggling like little school girls about what they did.    And Theo probably had to fake laugh like he thought this was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.  I mean did John Henry really think this was funny?   Well newsflash John.  It’s not funny and neither are you.  So do me a favor and stick to being creepy and chasing chicks half your age.    This way nobody gets hurt.

First of all, I love how the guy who makes this grab acts like it's not big deal. He just pops up, flips the ball back onto the field and starts jogging it in. His wife even looks like she's to busy give him a high five. If I made that catch I would have been doing the Diamond Cutter and the black frat symbol in everybody's eye for at least 2 hours.

As a side note, I'm always confused on the rule on catches like this. I feel like if you catch a ball and land over the fence than it should be a home run. I mean if you can catch the ball on the other side of the fence what's to prevent somebody from just playing on the other side of the fence? Or can you do that?

Much more Krystal here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com