Random Thoughts

Since Super Bowl XLII UB has had to put up with a lot of shit, as have most Pats fans. But this photo pretty much sums it up. Not only do you have some kid in a 3rd world country wearing my shirt, but then you have this clown who needs a 5 iron to the side of his fucking skull.

The Sox can't start soon enough...

Introducing Melissa from Framingham State.  There are smokeshows and then there are smokeshows.    Melissa is what we call a smokeshow!    Hailing from Framingham State which is my new flavor of the month school she is one big ball of hotness.   I smell a Barstool Cover coming up unless her Daddy gets involved of course

Keep those smokeshow nominations coming.  Send all the hot girls to  randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com.  Send all the fat girls to manzo@barstoolsports.com

Click Here for more of Melissa Portnoy. Wait did I just say that?

Nothing in this world is guaranteed. But as you go through life, you learn to identify things that you know, just know... to a moral certainty... WILL happen. This clip? It's like a video brought back in time to give us a glimpse into the future. I promise you, this will be Pete Manzo at his bachelor party.

Got this from Extra Mustard.

"David, you are ridiculous. I wanted to squish you, squeeze your head off, and dangle you from my rear-view mirror."

- Paula Abdul after David Archuleta's performance on American Idol last night.

Hilarious! And this is why American Idol continues to be the best show in television. What kind of quote is that? If I said that about a smokeshow the Abington Police would be at my house in less than 20 seconds.

PS - I'm not buying David Archuleta for one second. Anybody can sing a slow song. It's when the game speeds up that seperates the men from the boys. He's a one trick midget in my mind. This is still Kady Malloy's Idol to lose. Also, did Seacrest forget to button that top button on his shirt?  I think he did that look on purpose.  Not cool.  It may work 3 hours into a wedding when the dancing is down and dirty but not at the very beginning of American Idol.   Just looked sloppy.

- Dlisted had the Paula quote. I totally sweat Michael K

I know there’s 1 or 2 die-hard bowling fans out there always looking for an update on Team Stool this season in the King’s Media League, so here's where we stand as of today.

Riding a 3 game win streak and already comfortably in the playoffs, the regular season ended Monday night and we fucking lost to WBCN .

Game Recap: After an awful first string we bounced back in a big way in the second string led by El Presidente’s impressive 189 (not quite my record high of 201) and a streak of consecutive team strikes that almost caused WBCN to call a 30 second timeout.  But it was too little, too late.  Sometimes you just have to tip your free Barstool hat to the other team, and this was one of those nights.  BCN was in a desperate "bowl or die" situation to make the playoffs and they hung tough all night. Also, and this should be noted, we were missing the anchor of our squad - Barstool photographer Eric Levin who was out taking pictures of half-naked chicks.  Not sure where his priorities lie.

Anyway after starting 0-2 Team Barstool finished the regular season at 3-3 and 3rd in total pins which was good enough for the #6 seed in the playoffs which start and end next Monday night.  Our first round opponent – the #3 seed Weekly Dig (1st in total pins), who beat us in Week 2.   

You know the old adage “You can’t beat a good team twice in a season?” 

Well let’s hope that applies in bowling, and let's pray we're a good team.  

Vs.

Vote 1 for Ram It and 10 for Baseball Boogie

Kudos to withleather.

This random thought has nothing to do with anything, but I feel like I need to get something off my chest.  Am I crazy or is the Puffy shirt making a comeback?  I swear I’ve noticed 3 chicks wearing a puffy shirt within the last week and I’ve seen it in the window of a couple boutiques in Boston.  What gives?   Am I the only one that has noticed this new trend?  I thought maybe I was losing my mind but then I had a meeting with an ad agency yesterday and one of the chicks in the meeting was wearing a puffy shirt.  What the fuck?   I couldn’t even concentrate because I was mentally preparing my blog the entire meeting.   I probably lost the deal but whatever.  Obviously these chicks have never seen Seinfeld right?  I mean it’s bad enough to wear an ugly shirt, never mind one that is famous for being ugly.  It’ almost as bad as a grown man like myself starting to wear Quicksilver sweatshirts when the average age of their customers is 14 years old.  But that’s a different story for a different day.

The message board has been hijacked by Porn Terrorists! Unfortunately there is nothing in the Barstool Emergency Handbook on how to handle a situation like this. We will let everybody know when this situation has been fixed. Although I got to be honest, there is a 75% chance that we never get the Message Board back. The Porn Terrorists invaded us and we simply never saw it coming. Now they are entrenched and it will take every soldier we got to win it back. Plus I heard they got our message board moderator "Bon" locked up somewhere.

Now excuse me while I go check for pirates in my Astrovan.

Now, UB has already stated his case in regards to the Blue Vein as a whole, but see if you can guess who's rocking out with her tits out...

The Answer

Man, Gary Busey takes no prisoners huh? I love the attitude here. He could care less that the chick interviewing him is 11 years old. He’s taking no shit from her at all. Speak up sister! Either come strong or don’t come at all. It’s a great lesson for all the kids out there.

ALTAMONTE SPRINGS, Fla. -- A woman lied to police that she was carjacked Tuesday so she wouldn't get in trouble with her father for missing curfew. The 27-year-old Brandy Hicks claimed she was attacked on State Road 434 in Altamonte Springs early Tuesday morning and then woke up later in some nearby woods. Officers, even her father, who's an Orange County sheriff's deputy, rushed to the scene near 434 to find out what happened. Hicks told investigators she left her job as a stripper at Dancers Royale in Orlando and had dropped off a friend when a man approached her car at an intersection and hit her over the head. Hicks said she woke up six hours later in the woods. But police found her blue Chevy only a few blocks away and that's when officers said her story started to unravel. Investigators said Hicks made up the story because she lives with her parents and feared they'd kick her out for getting drunk and staying out all night.

I think you've really got to admire the job that Brandy's parents are doing. It can't be easy to raise a daughter in an increasingly wicked world. There's so many evil influences pulling at girls these days, and it's reassuring to know that, in one family at least, personal responsibility still means something. While they might not always like it, kids, even 27 year olds, need structure. I don't have daughters, but if I did, I like to think I'd follow Dept. Hicks' example. "Young lady, as long as you live under my roof, you'll have to live by my rules. And that means a curfew. What time do you stop showing your cooch down at Dancer's Royale? 2 AM? Fine. Then we expect you to leave right after your last lap dance and be in this house by no later than 2:30. Are we clear? OK. I love you too, Honey Bunny." It's heartwarming, really.

Boston.com - Patriots running back Kevin Faulk has been charged with marijuana possession after he was found with four hand-rolled cigars filled with the illegal substance while attending a concert in his home state of Louisiana, Capt. John Babin of the Lafayette (La.) Metro Narcotics Task Force said today. Faulk, who has played nine seasons in the NFL, all with the Patriots, was issued a citation after he was found with marijuana while attending a Lil' Wayne rap concert last Friday night at the Cajundome in Lafayette. According to Babin, Faulk was with friends and on his way to a suite at the Cajundome when he was searched in the administration office of the building by an in uniform, off-duty Lafayette Parish Sheriff's deputy who was providing security for the event.

How is this even a news story?  Give me a fucking break.   I mean what do you expect to happen at a Lil Wayne concert at the Cajundome?  I’m almost disappointed that Faulk only had 4 blunts on him when he was busted.   Seems like this should be a 7 blunt affair minimum.   Bottom-line is that what happens at the Cajundome stays at the Cajundome.  

PS – What’s up with the off duty cop in uniform just helping out?  This guy must have a big social life.

Much more Caroyln here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com