Random Thoughts

You've got to hand it to Bruce Pearl. Last year he endeared himself to millions by going shirtless in the student section. A number of times he's pulled off the orange suit look (which as Chikezie will tell you, isn't a look a lot of guys can pull off). He beat Memphis over the weekend so any minute now he's going to be coaching the No. 1 team in the country. But Pearl's greatest achievement is how he's absolutely writing the book on how a paunchy, homely, creepy older guy can turn an utter lack of shame into a chance to put his arms around impossibly good looking women. Look for me to pull this move at the Cover Model of the Year party.

These were on SportsbyBrooks and the Big Lead.

Introducing Jen from Norfolk.  I got to be honest I’m running out of shit to say about our smokeshows.   I mean how many times can you say hot face, hot body, hot everything?   Well I guess it’s time to say it again because Jen clearly meets all the criteria needed for a Smokeshow of the Day.  Plus she mixed in the most  innocent/super sexual picture of all time.  Bottom-line is that chicks sitting on exercise balls is hot.   Never really thought of that before until seeing this picture.

Let’s make this a banner nomination week for smokeshows.   If you got somebody good we’ll push them right to the beginning of the line.  That should get people off their asses.  Send nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click Here For More Pictures of Jen

I admit that ever since the Super Bowl, I've been wallowing in self pity. I haven't handled things well at all. Mentally and emotionally I've been checked out; like a jilted boyfriend holed up in his room feeling sorry for himself and trying to pretend the 2007 season never happened. And I've been wondering how and when I'd snap the hell out of it, get over myself and learn to love the Patriots again.

Enter the Sunday Globe, which featured a cheap, brutal, vicious, diatribe against Bill Belichick. It was written by someone named Doug Most, who it says is the editor of the Globe Magazine. Which means he took a week off from "The Most Romantic B & Bs on the Cape" and "Berkshire County's Ten Best Craft Fairs" to sing that old familiar standard of the Boston sportswriters "Belichick is a Jerk Because He Doesn't Like to Talk to Us." You can read if for yourself here, but let me paraphrase it to save you time (actual quotes in quotes):

"It's time Bill Belichick grew up.".. blah, blah, blah... He doesn't say much in his interviews... "there comes a time when even the best acts grow tiresome"... boo hoo... "The only reason Boston sports fans have put up with Belichick's act is because he's won, not because they like him. But now it's been three years since his last championship".. meow, meow, meow... "sourpuss"... Doc Rivers is nice to reporters... Terry Francona tolerates us... Belchick didn't say much to Chris Myers after the game... Grady Little talked to the press after blowing the 2003 ALCS... "The Yankees had Joe Torre leading them, as classy as they come and impossible to hate"... yada, yada, yada... "Right now, a lot of football fans out there are happy New England lost the Super Bowl. And it's because of one guy."

I have one word for Doug Most: Thanks. Sincerely. Thank you for waking me up out of my pathetic funk. You smarmy, self-important twit. Super Bowl XLII was the first truly epic failure of the Belichick Epoch in Foxboro, and you waste no time sticking your tongue out at him and poking him with a stick from a safe distance, like some teenager taunting a bear at the zoo. All the while demanding that he kiss your collective ass because you're all so fair and reasonable. And are you kidding me with those examples? Doc Rivers? With all due respect to the coaching job he's doing this year, what has he ever accomplished? Grady Little cut the single biggest brainfart in sports history, and you're comparing Belichick unfavorably to him because Grady is a sweetheart of a guy? Great. How's all that love and affection from you helping his unemployment right now? And if you haven't noticed, Joe Torre hasn't won a damned thing since before Belichick started making Super Bowls the birthright of every Pats fan.

This is so typical of the anti-Belichick crowd. You live by the idea that not only do you kick a guy when he's down, but that when he's down is a perfect time to kick him; you don't have to lift your foot and it's a lot easier. In his case, it's taken seven years, but you've finally got him where you want him. But make no mistake, Belichick will be back on top and he'll bathe in your blood. It feels good to be back.

If a scientist working on a cure for cancer did to a lab rat what Tiger Woods did to Stuart Cink at the Sunday, PETA would be fire bombing his laboratory. Wood's closed Cink out 8 & 7, the biggest margin of victory in the ten year history of the Accenture Match Play Championship. It was truly one of the all time dominating performances in the career of a guy who's dished out more ass kickings than the complete series DVD set of "Walker: Texas Ranger."

I used to root against Woods, for reasons I can no longer remember. The reasons have been lost under an avalanche of consistent, relentless, merciless excellence. Nothing deters him. Nothing makes him let up. He's the Gordon Gekko of sports; wrecking his opponents because they're wreckable. Only in Tiger's case there's no Bud Fox to see that his uppance will come. He's going to continue to dish out the constant beatings until he alone decides he's no longer interested. A few fun facts about where he is in his career:
*The Accenture was his 4th straight PGA tour win; the 3rd different 4-win streak of his career. Only one other golfer, Byron Nelson in '45 and '45-'46 has had two such streaks.
*Including world events, he's won 6 straight and 8 of his last 9.
*In Tour match plays, his record is 31-6. If you took his winnings just from these, he'd be 17th on the Tour career money list.
*Cink is an accomplished, solid career Tour pro. Yet since his last victory, Woods has won 26 times.
*It was his 63rd career victory, which moved him ahead of Arnold Palmer into 4th on the career list. Ben Hogan has 64.
*Tiger is 32 years old.

All of which has led me to a conclusion that's been coming for some time now, and I think it's time to make it official: Tiger Woods is the greatest athlete any of us has ever seen. And by "athlete" I mean "competitor in a sport," don't be giving any of that crap about how athletes are guys who can run and jump. I don't care how someone does in the American Gladiators Eliminator; I'm talking about who dominated their sport. And no one any of us has ever seen has done it over a career like he has.

Finally the secret of one of the game's greatest hitters is revealed. After all, who couldn't be a hall of famer with six toes? It's a total unfair advantage over the competition.

- Thanks to BLS-SDMF for the tip

The Celtics picked a fine time to start playing like shit. Last night’s win over Portland aside (I’ll get to the Paul Pierce tribute later), our men in green are melting in the national spotlight. As I wrote last week, this was supposed to be the statement road trip. The moment where we punch Stephen A. Smith and other doubters square in the face. Instead, we are getting pelted with a barrage of “I told you the Celtics weren’t that good!” Are we not that good? Remember what it was like to be a Red Sox fan pre-2004? There was all that early season enthusiasm and false confidence as we raced out to a fast start.  We ignored critics who said this wouldn’t and couldn’t last and watched in horror as everything slipped away by August. I’m getting that sick feeling again.

Going back to last night, the Celtics won because Paul Pierce wanted to. The dude dropped 30 and missed just two shots. Ray Allen also showed up. (He’s been more streaky this year than Antoine Walker ever was.) Tonight we should beat down the Clippers and have Sam Cassell fly back to Boston with us. It's time to start fucking people up again....

Chuck - Red's Army

So I went to DC last weekend for the very first time, saw the White House, saw the Lincoln Memorial, accidentally grabbed a girl’s ass in the Holocaust Museum, blah, blah.  But by far the lowlight of the trip was playing a game I’ve literally never heard of called “bags”.  That’s right, “bags”.  Apparently “bags” is hugely popular in the Midwest, the South and the Mid-Atlantic states, basically everywhere east of Colorado except for New England.  It's certainly not the most complicated game in the world - similar to washers except instead of a washer you throw, you guessed it, a bag.  Anyway I played the video game version (see above) which is now getting bigger than actual bags!  You use the Golden Tee roller to throw the bag, there’s wind, etc.  Quite possibly the dumbest video game I’ve ever played.  You’re just a guy throwing a bag. 

Whatever the case, I’m wondering how a game could be so popular everywhere but New England?  Why have I never heard of it?  Are we that out of touch with America up here?  I’m curious what the local Stoolies have to say. 

Vote 1 for “Dude, I’ve played bags!”, vote 10 for never heard of it.

ESPN.com - Specter said Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Damon Huard, a one-time backup to Tom Brady with the Patriots, refused to speak with him, too, during a personal phone call the Senator placed to Huard last Friday.

"I talked to him, and he wouldn't talk," Specter said. "I didn't go through a secretary, and he doubted that it was Arlen Specter. Maybe that is why he wouldn't talk. I don't sound much like Arlen Specter."

Well it’s official. Arlen Specter has totally lost his mind.   Okay I understand that he is pissed the Pats beat the Eagles in the Superbowl.  I understand that he hates Goodell because of this Comcast/NFL Network thing.   But at some point he needs to give this Spygate thing a rest before it becomes a total embarrassment to the country.   As much as people have complained about the steroid hearings, this is about a million times worse.   At least with steroids you can make the argument that it affects the health and wellbeing of our countries youth.  In this situation there is absolutely no rationale why an elected official whose job is to serve the public is wasting time with this.  NONE!   Furthermore he’s the only guy in the world who seems to care.    And now he is wasting taxpayer’s dollars by drunk dialing guys like Damon Huard.   Honestly, how crazy is this guy?  It’s a fucking disgrace.   How can anybody rationalize voting for this guy ever again?  It’s clear he’s insane.    And people wonder why our country is so fucked up?   You got guys like Arlen Specter who clearly has no grasp on reality running it.

Listen I have no problems if chicks want to get together and build a huge bonfire and burn old bras that don't fit right. But I do have two requests. Be naked and be pretty when it happens. Unfortunately in this case we get neither. Although in hindsight I guess I'm glad that these chicks weren't naked because I'm pretty sure we would have had a couple reversal of fortunes on hands.

Anyway, just because I care about the ladies here is a link to help all the female Stoolies buy more comfortable bras. They have everything from the A cup to the dreaded FF and G cup.

 I was watching the Oscars last night and found out that Ellen Page (the chick from Juno) is 21 years old. Are you shitting me? I would have set the total at 16 and hammered the under. Pretty disappointing because I was keeping my eye on her as a potential rising star. I figured that by the time she turned 18 she'd have boobs and be a total smokeshow. But now that I know she's already 21 I think it's safe to say she is what she is. Not that she's ugly, but she certainly isn't going to be making dicks grow anytime soon. Got to be a sad day for all the Juno fans out there.

Is this real?   I think it is.  And if it’s not let me just say this kid deserves an Oscar because he had me fooled.    Regardless, I think we can all agree that nobody wants to date a chick that have as many shoes as Imelda Marcos.   That would totally suck. Preach on brother.  

PS – I don’t care what anybody says, the backdrop of this video is a hot mess.  

If you haven't yet heard the 3rd Annual Barstool Sports Cover Model of the Year party is on March 6th at Liquor Store and of course it features some all the covers from 2007. With only days to go before the bash, why not take a look at some of the best shots from the Stool's most successful year to date. Oh yeah, and feel free to vote for your favorite. Just like Florida, you can vote as many times as you like.

Much more of our Cover Models here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com