Random Thoughts

From Page Six.com:

Derek Jeter spent his last weekend of freedom before flying to Tampa for spring training just as we'd hoped he would: living it up in Hollywood, hitting up day spas — and hitting on movie stars. Mariah Carey's ex was seen Friday night at Villa, trying in vain to hit on Sienna Miller, an insider at the club tells PageSix.com.

Sienna was with actor Scott Speedman and a few other people, and wanted nothing to do with the pin-striped playboy. "Derek was trying to flirt with Sienna Miller but she didn't know who he was and could have cared less," our spy reports. "Also, he asked that people not smoke cigarettes near him."

Is there anyone climbing the hot celebrity chick ladder faster than Sienna Miller? Whoever is giving her advice deserves a pay raise because this girl is doing everything right. First of all, she doesn't hesistate to do NSFW photo shoots, she goes topless for the paparazzi, and now she gives Jeter the chin music in front of the whole world. If she slept with him, it wouldn't have made a ripple in the NY tabloids. But by rejecting him, she not only ends his ten year reign atop the Babehound Athlete World Rankings, she may have caused a tear in the time/space continuum and made herself a legend in the process. Brilliant.

First Jeter loses his coddling, sycophantic manager. Then he's exposed as the worst shortstop in baseball. Next two of his boos, Pettitte and Clemens, are going through a messy divorce. And now he gets shot down in a club like he's just another schmendrick. Can there be any doubt Jeter is in for the worst year of his career?

Click here for the answer

Introducing Jessica from Fall River.   Fall River is like a little hidden gem of smokeshows huh?   Who would have thunk it?    Anyway in the history of going out in Boston I’ve never seen any girl who looks like this.   This girl could throw down on South Beach with the best of them.  She seems like she should be in a music video or something.  I don’t know if I could ever date a girl like this though.  I’d just be jealous all the time.  I start freaking out if she talked to any dude besides me and tapping her hotmail and shit like that.

WE WANT SMOKESHOWS!   Send nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click here for more pics of Jessica

Have we already talked about this video? It seems like something we would have already discussed, but I can't remember it. Anyway I'm trying to think how I would have reacted in this situation if I were one of the cops. I've never been very good at denying chicks who are making sexual advances towards me because it never happens. So when it does, it's like game over. However, having said that even I think I could have kept my dick in my pants here. I mean these cops had to know the cameras were on right? Is it really worth risking your job to frisk a chick? I mean why wouldn't you just take this outside or something? That's the smart play here. I don't blame the cops at all for feeling this chick up. Who wouldn't want to do that? But I just hope cops would be a little smarter than to let themselves get caught on tape. Regardless I'm glad to see cooler heads prevail in this video. Nobody deserved to get punished here. No harm no foul. Chick wanted to get frisked. She got frisked. End of story.

Bostonherald.com - A woman shut out of playing with her father in a men’s golf tournament is suing Dennis and the Cape Cod community’s two public courses for sex discrimination, arguing in court papers the gender bias is as unlawful as “men’s-only bars” and “whites’-only drinking fountains.” Elaine Joyce, 43, of Yarmouth Port charges in her civil action brought Friday in U.S. District Court that the town-owned Dennis Pines and Dennis Highlands golf clubs “perpetuate the social and economic inferiority of women.” She said the whole experience has left her feeling “ostracized, marginalized, humiliated, embarrassed and denounced.” Joyce “is entitled to the equal opportunity to aspire, to achieve and to participate based upon her individual talents and capacities regardless of her gender,” reads the suit, which also names Town Administrator Robert Canevazzi and Michael Cummings, Dennis’ director of golf, as defendants. When Joyce complained to Canevazzi, she said he cited the clubs’ “historic policy” for why she was barred from an event intended for men only. A Ladies’ Member-Member was held the following weekend. Canevazzi is alleged to have told Joyce the practice of keeping the tournaments separated “could and should” continue.

Let me just start by saying that even though I make my living exploiting women I am all for chick rights.  But even the biggest feminist supporter out there would have to admit that this is ridiculous right?  Listen, maybe I can understand how this broad felt ostracized, marginalized, humiliated and embarrassed.  But how the fuck was she denounced?   I mean there is a women’s tournament next week!  Just shut your mouth and play in that one.  Not to mention the fact that I’m also guessing that this place has a mixed tournament as well since 99% of clubs do.    So again what is this broad complaining about?    Golf clubs are allowed to have all men tournaments just like they are allowed to deny membership to Jews and blacks.   If you don’t like it then go cook your husband dinner or go water your garden or something.

Bo Derek was before my generation. I mean I kind of know who she is but I really don't. She's the "perfect 10" running down the beach towards Dudley Moore right? Anyway, TMZ had a picture of her on their website yesterday and it kind of knocked the wind out of me. I really have never studied the old time greats, but man was she hot. I'd put Bo Derek in her prime up against any chick that is popular right now and I think she'd have to be the favorite. I mean she is the definition of a once in a lifetime type beauty. Just flat out gorgeous.

FOXBOROUGH - Patriots coach Bill Belichick and vice president of player personnel Scott Pioli broke their silence regarding taping procedures and suggestions of improper conduct from former employee Matt Walsh yesterday, with Belichick saying he "couldn't pick Matt Walsh out of a lineup" and Pioli noting that part of the reason for Walsh's firing was because of him secretly tape-recording conversations.The Boston Herald, citing an anonymous source, reported Feb. 2 that the Patriots had taped the Rams' walkthrough prior to Super Bowl XXXVI. The Patriots and NFL strongly denied that story, and Belichick further addressed it yesterday. "In my entire coaching career, I've never seen another team's practice film prior to playing that team," he said. "I have never authorized, or heard of, or even seen in any way, shape, or form any other team's walkthrough. We don't even film our own. We don't even want to see ourselves do anything, that's the pace that it's at. Regardless, I've never been a part of that." Belichick added that in his "entire coaching career, I have never filmed a walkthrough, our own. I've never been on a staff that has filmed a walkthrough. I'm talking about when I was a head coach. As an assistant, I've never seen a head coach film a walkthrough the day before a game." Pioli said Walsh was terminated in January 2003 after he discovered Walsh was "secretly tape-recording conversations between him and me." Pioli said he learned of the recording because "two other employees saw him doing it, and I checked after, and heard it on the tape myself." Walsh has hinted he has materials that could prove damaging to the Patriots, and Levy said Walsh will turn them over to the NFL if the league provides him complete indemnification, protecting Walsh from being sued. But Levy said the NFL's most recent offer leaves Walsh unprotected legally against unfounded or unproven allegations.  In the days leading up to this year's Super Bowl, Walsh's potential role in the taping became a hot topic. Yesterday, Pioli detailed the work Walsh did in the personnel department. "He had come from video, so the first few months his job was to make highlight tapes of draft-eligible players, guys who were going to be free agents," he said. "It's like the entry-level position that we have all the scouting assistants in. It's essentially the same job that I did 15 years ago, which was making copies, picking people up at the airport, data entry, more of the highlight tapes of the players, the draft-eligible guys."Pioli said reports that indicated Walsh was an "area scout" were incorrect. Their relationship ended abruptly, according to Pioli. "The job he was doing, there were two other guys doing it, so essentially the work he was doing wasn't up to the same level as the other people, in my opinion. However, I found out he was secretly tape recording our conversations and he was fired," he said. Asked if he confronted Walsh for an explanation, Pioli said: "There was never a confrontation. He was just released."

So Bill Belichick and Scott Pioli finally defended themselves against Spygate yesterday.  Not surprisingly everything they said makes perfect sense.   I couldn’t cut and paste the entire article but Belichick basically said what any rational unbiased intelligent person already knew.   The Pats made an honest mistake and really shouldn’t have been punished at all.   Belichick taped other teams signals to get an edge just like how you study opposing players stances, cadence etc.   He didn’t think he was violating the rule because the rule states that you can’t use the film to gain an advantage during the same game you are taping which the Pats never did.  Instead they were using the film for future matchups.   Again if they knew they were cheating than why wouldn’t they hide the cameraman as opposed to having him sit there in broad daylight against a team whose head coach hates the Pats and knows that we tape?   I mean the Jets coaches were waving to our cameraman.  Only a total moron would put the cameraman in the middle of the sidelines if they thought this was illegal.  And I think even the strongest Belichick detractors would admit he’s not a moron.   As far the Matt Walsh thing goes  it was nice to finally see him exposed as the fraud everybody already knew he was.   Basically as I stated when it happened, Matt Walsh is a lowlife scumbag who sucked at his job and got fired for being a devious incompetent fool.    He found a reporter who had his own agenda in John Tomase and together they made a mockery of the Superbowl.   In my mind both Tomase and Walsh are equally disgusting forms of human pond scum.   And to be honest I wouldn’t put it past Walsh to have taped the Rams fluff practice on his own accord.   It sounds like something he would do to try and score brownie points to make up for the fact that he sucks at life.  But there is no way the directive came from Belichick.  Because as Belichick points out, nobody tapes fluff practice in the NFL.  And it’s ludicrous to even insinuate that the Pats would do something like this because everybody knows it serves no purpose.  In any event I’m guessing this Matt Walsh thing will eventually go away, because he refuses to go on the record unless somebody pays his legal fees for when he gets sued for lying.   And you can only find so many John Tomase’s who are willing to publish total garbage from anonymous sources just to help their own career.     Still it’s a sad day in America when an entry level bag boy can cause this much trouble just because he is mad he got fired from his job. 

PS – I keep waiting for some Anti Matt Walsh stories to be sent to me.  I want to light this guy up so bad I can taste it.

OK, everybody the wait is over. It’s time for El Presidente’s American Idol preview.  Now for those of you who are new to the Stool, let me give you a little history lesson.  I have successfully picked the winner of American Idol before the first elimination show has even aired 5 out of the last 6 years. I’ve often said that God gave me three gifts in life.  The first one is the ability to get a great parking spot under any circumstance.  I’m telling you that I could get a spot right in front of Giacamo’s on Hanover Street at 8pm on a Friday night if I need to.  The second gift is the ability to spot a bad fashion trend before I fall victim to it.   I was the guy in middle school who never pegged my jeans.  I just knew it looked stupid.   And finally I can spot the American Idol winner a mile away. 

Now I’m not saying that I’m proud of any these natural born abilities, but it is what it is.   Anyway, last year was the first year I didn’t correctly pick the winner as I had Chris Richardson and I think he came in 5^th or something.  But he did bang LC from the Hills during the show so that has to count for something.   Plus, I had Blake coming in 2^nd which he did, but whatever.  The streak had to end sometime right?   Anyway, this year I’m looking to bounce back with a vengeance and start a new streak.  So without further ado, here is my 2008 American Idol preview.

Colton Berry 100-1

 Colton was the last guy to make it into the Final 24.  His quote on Americanidol.com is “hey, girl, hey.”    What the fuck is that?   I think I could find 5 guys who live in Abington who would have a better chance than Colton Berry.   Last one in, first one out.  That’s the way it goes.

Click Here For The Entire Preview

Is there a phonier reputation in all of sports than the one New York has for being "a tough place to play"? It's like Stalin's Big Lie, repeated over and over again until everyone believes it to be true. But the reality is that the New York media is as prone to fawning, worshipful coverage of the Yankees as the press in any podunk DI football factory college town. The decade long adoration of Joe Torre. The daily beatification of Derek Jeter despite his horrible fielding. Suzyn Waldman's hideous on-air orgasm when Roger Clemens announced he was coming back last May. And now the obsequious boot licking of Andy Pettitte.

Pettitte spends years telling anyone who'll listen how clean he is and what a stand up guy he is. He gets dragged kicking and screaming before the Feds and admits he's been lying through his teeth all along. And oh, by the way, so has his baseball wife, Roger Clemens. So how does the voracious, blood-thirsty New York press react?:

• "Andy Pettitte is a devoted father, a devout Christian and a valued teammate... When it comes to athletes and their relationship with the concepts of truth, honor and sportsmanship, Pettitte is about as good as it gets. In relative terms, he is a lot more honest than most of his peers and engenders far more sympathy, simply because he seems to be such a regular guy." - Newsday
• "Pettitte did well under difficult circumstances, blending the humility and affability that has continued to evoke positive portrayals despite revelations..." - NY Post

And those quotes are from articles that were critical of Pettitte. I can only imagine what it's going to be like when Steinbrenner's house boy George King chimes in. He'll probably call for the stock market to close on Pettitte's birthday.

Contrast this with the hatchet jobs being done on Curt Schilling by the bomb tossers in the Boston media. Schilling turned down offers $14 mil from other teams to sign for $8 mil here. He passes a physical. Afterward, his shoulder acts up. He goes to a specialist who recommends surgery. The Sox say they want him to rehab instead. Schilling thinks they're wrong but says the Sox pay the freight here so he does what they say and we're in wait-and-see mode. You'd think that would be the end of the discussion given the fact that the guy's delivered two championships in four years and pitched his nuts off each time. But he gets no slack from the lowlife pundits in this town:

• "If he can't pitch all season, does he have any guilt about cashing $8 million in paychecks? Schill always has been a stand-up guy in this area. Isn't he a little embarrassed to have lobbied and bullied his way into this contract, only to turn up lame and possibly collect a full salary when he can't contribute?" - The CHB in the Globe
• "...as Schilling reaches a crisis point in what likely is his last major league season, he’d be doing himself a huge favor if he stopped playing doctor and started playing ball."- Buckley in the Herald

And that was from columns that were relatively favorable towards him. Then, after days of being belittled for keeping quiet on the matter, Schilling talked to reporters yesterday, then got hammered on 'EEI this morning for only talking to a few "hand-picked" people. He can't win. He's a jerk if he's quiet, he's a jerk if he speaks. Look, no matter what happens from here on in, and no matter how much crap he takes in the papers, Schilling gets a standing O on Opening Day and every time he takes the mound at Fenway this year. So will Andy Pettitte, but for an entirely different reason.

Boston.com - You're a grown-up with children of your own. You're chomping popcorn at the TD Banknorth Garden during halftime, swapping sports-talk with your father in-law, when the Celtics Dancers take the floor. The lights dim, the music pounds, and suddenly you've all been transported to the Bada Bing. Booties shake. Pelvises grind. Cleavage heaves. All that's missing for the perfect pole dance is the pole. I'm not out to ruin everyone's fun, but last time I checked, the purpose of attending a Celtics game was to watch basketball. These days, you can barely focus on the action on the court for all the action off of it  I always walk out of a game feeling slightly dazed from all the sounds and lights. It's like I've been to a rave. The problem is that about one-third of the audience is female. And while we ladies can't help but be impressed by the dancers' skill and flexibility - I didn't know that legs could actually splay in some of those directions - some of us are a little put-off when the porn takes over the paint. And yes, it is porn, i.e. erotic behavior intended to arouse a quick, intense emotional reaction.  As a fairly recent transplant from New York, I'm a little puzzled by all this. I thought that I was moving to the land of stiff collars and self-restraint. No one thinks of Boston as "sexy." Boston is classic. It's distinguished. It's Brooks Brothers and Bloody Marys. Maybe that's why the Celtics Dancers' erotic interruptions feel so incongruous. And when I glance around at the game, I see plenty of baffled faces. There are suburban dads in attendance with preteen daughters, shrugging helplessly. They seem to be saying, "These aren't your role models!" There are respectable older gentlemen, like my father-in-law, who sinks deeper into his popcorn. Our eyes don't meet. There are also legions of teenage boys, their eyes like saucers, holding up their cellphones to get the perfect soft-porn picture to show off around school. I guess those are the customers the Celtics are hoping to please. Still, porn has its place, and that's not on the parquet of the Garden. You would think that having the turnaround team with the best record in the NBA would be enough for the Celtics. Personally, I wish Kevin Garnett's dunks weren't competing with Courtney's curves for my attention.

Kate Darnton, a book editor, lives in Boston.

Don’t you love feminists?  Always trying to stir up trouble where there is none.   Let me ask you something.   What are the odds that Kate Darnton is remotely attractive?  Like a million to one?   A bazillion to win? I mean has there ever been an attractive feminist in the history of the world?   I don’t think so. They’re all former fat chicks who were somehow wronged in high school by the cool crowd.   At least that’s what I’ve heard.   Regardless, who is Kate trying to fool here?   Listen honey I’ve been to a Celtics game too.  And I haven’t seen any of these people that you’re talking about who look horrified when the Celtics dancers take the stage.  I’ve seen some people saying they wish they were hotter or they wish they had less clothes on.  I’ve seen some people debate what outfit looks the best or which one they’d want to bang more.  But I haven’t seen anybody look upset, embarrassed or ashamed.  Wake Up Kate!  It’s 2008.   This is nothing!   So as much as I respect a transplanted feminist New Yorker’s opinion of what should happen at a Celtics game, I think she should stick with subjects she knows about like cooking and body image.     Because pro sports is about entertainment.  And nothing keeps people entertained like hot chicks shaking their ass.    

It's finally time to Wake Up with Kaley Cuoco. This chick has been requested dozens of times over the past few months, but for one reason or another UB has just never got around to sifting the InterWeb for her photos. Mainly because UB was hoping she would actually do a spread in Maxim or some other men's magazine. In any event you gotta love her fake tits on the CBS geek show and she's got that fun Jenny McCarthy-like quality that you just want to hold down and bang. Not that UB promotes that kind of thing...

Much more Kaley here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com