The landmark Simpsons episode in which Lisa give Ralph Wiggum a pity Valentine and he thinks she's his girlfriend, has interesting rumination on Valentine's Day in elementary school:

Ms. Hoover: First, we're going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines.
Lisa: Isn't that just pointless busy-work?
Ms. Hoover: [taps her nose] Bull's-eye. Get cracking.

I bring this up because my first grade son's school sent home a note last nightsaying that they will not be having a Valentine's observance of any kind in the classroom. The kids can hand something out to each other if they want, but as far as any official involvement of the school, forget it. The teachers will be too busy handing out condoms to the 13 year olds.

But are they right to ban this holiday? I'll grant you it's "pointless busy work" and has nothing to do with education, but neither does coloring, recess or reading "Beowulf," but that never stopped them. The schools are obviously anti-Valentine's for the same reason they're coming out against spelling bees, competitive sports in gym or giving out F's. They're trying to protect failures. They don't want the Ralph Wiggumses of the world to feel left out because they don't get any Valentines while the popular kids get lots of them. It's that simple.

That's why I think they need this holiday as much as any other. Because a kid needs to learn at an early age that if you're the weird kid with B.O., man boobs and cooties who eats paste and has a Sesame Street lunch box, the world is going to step all over you in favor of the cool, smart kid who kicks ass in crab races and carries the Spiderman 3 lunch box. And that's a lesson that's going to help a kid a hell of a lot more in this life than memorizing state capitals ever will.