Random Thoughts

Because we're in love with romance and hearts and flowers and cupids and little lacey valentine's and we don't care who knows it, here's another tribute to athletes and the jock-sniffing women who love them...

Cheryl Tweedy is a gorgeous British pop star. Which means she's married to a soccer player, as required by English laws. To see much more of Cheryl, click here...

Introducing Kristen from Northeastern Via North Reading. Somewhere Frank Carey is smiling. Over the past month or two we've featured all sorts of smokeshows. Some look sweet and wholesome. Others are drenched in sex appeal and make you think bad thoughts. I'd put Kristen in the 2nd category. And before anybody makes comments about her looking young just rest assured I'm not trying to get arrested. We do detailed searches on every smokeshow to make sure they are of legal age and worthy of being fawned over.

PS - Congrats to former smokeshow Lauren who caused the blackberry shut down across America yesterday with all the people texting me to tell me a smokeshow was on the jumbotron multiple times at the Beanpot game last night.

I don't want to say the amount of nominations for smokeshows we've gotten lately has been pathetic but it kind of has. If people like this feature which I'm pretty sure they do, I highly suggest doing your part and sending us some nominations. I can only facebook stalk so much....Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click here for the rest of Kristen's photos

Dailymail.com - At just 2ft 9in, Indian muscleman Aditya 'Romeo' Dev is the world's smallest bodybuilder. Pint-sized Romeo is well-known in his hometown of Phagwara, India - for his ability to lift 1.5kg dumbbells - despite his overall 9kg body weight.  Every day, crowds flock to the local gym to the see the mini-muscleman in training.     Unlike many dwarfs, Romeo is well proportioned, with a head circumference of 15in and a chest measurement of 20in.  Romeo said: "I've been training as a bodybuilder for the last two years and by now I think I must be the strongest dwarf in the world.

A bunch of people sent me this link.   This is obviously a joke right?   I’m not saying there can’t be such a thing as a dwarf body builder, but everything about these photos looks fake.  Even the trainer looks fake.  I mean what’s going here?    Don't tickle my balls and say you're going to show me a dwarf strong man and then give me this. I can only handle so much disappoinment. First the Pats and now this. That’s not a dwarf strong man.  We want a real dwarf strong man. 

The landmark Simpsons episode in which Lisa give Ralph Wiggum a pity Valentine and he thinks she's his girlfriend, has interesting rumination on Valentine's Day in elementary school:

Ms. Hoover: First, we're going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines.
Lisa: Isn't that just pointless busy-work?
Ms. Hoover: [taps her nose] Bull's-eye. Get cracking.

I bring this up because my first grade son's school sent home a note last nightsaying that they will not be having a Valentine's observance of any kind in the classroom. The kids can hand something out to each other if they want, but as far as any official involvement of the school, forget it. The teachers will be too busy handing out condoms to the 13 year olds.

But are they right to ban this holiday? I'll grant you it's "pointless busy work" and has nothing to do with education, but neither does coloring, recess or reading "Beowulf," but that never stopped them. The schools are obviously anti-Valentine's for the same reason they're coming out against spelling bees, competitive sports in gym or giving out F's. They're trying to protect failures. They don't want the Ralph Wiggumses of the world to feel left out because they don't get any Valentines while the popular kids get lots of them. It's that simple.

That's why I think they need this holiday as much as any other. Because a kid needs to learn at an early age that if you're the weird kid with B.O., man boobs and cooties who eats paste and has a Sesame Street lunch box, the world is going to step all over you in favor of the cool, smart kid who kicks ass in crab races and carries the Spiderman 3 lunch box. And that's a lesson that's going to help a kid a hell of a lot more in this life than memorizing state capitals ever will.

The new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is out and Marissa Miller is on the cover. This leaves me with one question and one question only.

How Does This?

Date This?

I will never understand hot chicks as long as I live. I don't get why they like hanging out at places where douchbags hang out. I don't get why they date douchebags. I don't get why they like guys with fucked up haircuts and girly clothes. Bottom line is that if I were a chick I'd want to date me only better looking.

- Kudos to What Would Tyler Durden Do for digging up the photo on this clown.

Movie reviews really aren’t our thing here at the Stool.  But every once in awhile a movie comes along that we’d be doing an injustice not to let our readers know about.   King of Kong Fistful of Quarters is one of those movies.   Now I’d never heard of this until Manzo wrote an article in our latest issue about watching some dude compete for the World Record in Dig Dug at Fun Spot in NH.   This article sparked some conversation about a documentary called King of Kong Fistful of Quarters which focuses on two guys competing for the World Record in Donkey Kong.   So this weekend I checked Rotten Tomatoes to see the reviews about it and it got a 96% rating which if like the highest any human made movie can get.   This sealed the deal.  I decided to put down my clicker, get off my couch and go rent it at Blockbuster.    This by itself is a monumental event since my couch could be on fire and I wouldn’t get up on a Saturday afternoon.    Needless to say I’m glad I did it.   Now I readily admit that I’m a video game guy so I thought the subject matter was pretty funny.  But even The First Lady, who most would say is not a video game guy LOVED it.   It is one of the best movies I’ve seen in years.   There will be no better story about good vs. evil in the next decade   And if there is any justice in this world Billy Mitchell will win an Oscar for the best villain of the year.   I don’t care if this isn’t a category, he should still win. That’s how good he was.   He makes the bad guy from No Country for Old Men look like Mary Poppins.  So there is your Barstool tip of the day.  Rent King of Kong…Fistful of Quarters. It gets four Golden Stools.

Boston.com - Boston restaurant and club owner Patrick Lyons is hardly Big Papi, but he is relishing his first time in the visitors' batting cage in the basement of Fenway Park. He has just stepped through a door from his Fenway eatery Game On! and entered the indoor cage, which is all artificial turf, padded mats, and black netting. "It's exhilarating," says Lyons, 55, who played sandlot ball as a child. For the first time at Fenway, fans will be able to enter the visiting team's batting cage and take swings in the same practice area used by the likes of Derek Jeter and Miguel Tejada. Lyons and the Red Sox say they aren't aware of any other Major League Baseball team with such an arrangement. Naturally this will all occur when the Sox aren't at Fenway, and naturally it will cost, starting at $50 to $75 per head. Here's how it works: You book a party of at least 20 people - birthday, corporate, bachelor, whatever - at Game On!, which is on Fenway prop erty but outside the gates. The package includes food, the batting cage - complete with bats, helmets, and a pitching machine - and cheers and jeers from your friends, who can watch through a huge one-way window in the basement bar. There's another novel plan in the works: When the Sox are at Fenway, restaurant patrons will be able to watch - free of charge - the visiting team take batting practice through that huge window in the bar, which is now covered by a NASCAR mural. Lyons hopes to have the window ready by opening day on April 8."As soon as that mural comes down, you will be able to sit here and see the visiting team practice," says Lindsay Curtis, marketing manager for the Lyons Group. "They're in there an hour and a half before each game."

With apologies to every other bar around Fenway Park (Cask, Baseball Tavern etc) none of them can now hold a candle to Game On!    I guess it shouldn’t be that surprising that they would smash their competition like this since they are clearly the smartest bar in the area.  How else can you explain that they’re the only ones to advertise with us?  Anyway I digress.  This is by far the best addition to any bar since I’ve lived here which is my whole life.    I’ve been hearing whispers about this for years and now it has finally arrived.  How cool is it to be able to pregame and watch the other team take BP right in your face?   There hasn’t been this much excitement at Game On! since our March Madness Pop A Shot tournament last year. Granted it will probably be impossible now to get in, but whatever.   Get their early is all I can say.   As far as paying 50-75 bucks to take BP, that seems pretty freaking steep.   But I guess if only do it once or twice it’s not that big of a deal.  My only question is does the Jugs Machine come with it or do you need to bring Deeds (total inside joke for SHS people)?   Regardless it’s time to dust off the Green Easton.   

PS – Do you see how I naturally weave a real story into pumping up a client that advertises with us?   Sometimes I amaze myself.    Now let all the Stoolies who love to sabotage us commence with the Game On! bashing.

TRIVIA TOMORROW AT GAME ON!

Photo Taken at 11pm at Clarke's in Faneuil Hall....

Dude...

Wikipedia.com - Tyla Wynn (born Nancy Spencer on October 16, 1982 in Lubbock, Texas) is an American pornographic actress. While born in Lubbock, she moved to Lancaster, California^[4] during her childhood. She entered the adult industry after her agent at So Cal Pro Models booked her into a foot fetish scene with Jennifer Luv.^[2] She has stated to prefer anal sex over regular sex, at one point mentioning that she had done "about two hundred and thirty anal scenes".^[2] Due to her preference, she is unable to defecate normally, and must give herself an enema daily to cleanse her bowel.^[2]

Tyla Wynn/Nancy Spencer’s parents must be so proud!   Not only does she have her own page on Wikipeida, but she’s had so much anal sex that she can’t even defecate without a daily enema.  If that’s not dedication to the craft than I don’t know what is.    PBS should do a documentary on her for all the little girls out there who need a role model.  Because if the Tyla Wynn story proves anything, it’s that if you work hard enough at your job and get fucked enough in the ass, then maybe one day you'll not be able to shit right either.  It’s pretty emotional stuff.

PS - I love Wikipedia as much as the next guy, but sometimes there is such a thing as too much information and this is one of those times.   In all seriousness this is arguably the grosses thing I’ve ever posted on the Stool.   But if there is one thing I've learned here at the Stool over the years it's that gross puts asses in the seats.

First things first here, best wishes for a quick recovery and return for Florida Panther and frequent Bruin tormenter Richard Zednik (despite Kyle McLaren's attempted decapitation of him in the '02 playoffs. Ironically, the attempt at intimidation galvanized the Habs and propelled them to the series upset). Zednik's neck was horrifically and freakishly gashed Sunday night when teammate Olli Jokinen got upended by Sabre Clark MacArthur and his airborne boot severed Zednik's carotid artery. Leaving a trail of blood that took 15 minutes to clean off the ice, Zednik managed to skate to the bench and get right to an ambo. After surgery, he's in stable condition and is already asking how soon he can come back. Typical hockey player. The guy comes within inches and/or minutes of calling it a night forever and a few hours later wonders where his ice time went. It was also a brutal reminder that, even with the best crop of young talent in the league in ages, of how dangerous an often majestic sport can become in the blink of an eye. Zednik could be any guy on any given night. Get well soon Richard. Hockey fans are pulling for you. Even if we may have cursed at you once or twice...

Read Rear Admiral's Entire B's Blog Here

Boston.com - A lost client, crashing computer, a boss's sharp rebuke, or a bad news phone call from home, and pow - you begin to lose it at work. The tears start to well up. It's not a good day.But is crying a black mark on your office reputation, even a career-killer? Carynne Corvaia, a marketing manager in Lowell, has seen all kinds during a career that's taken her from high-tech to healthcare and now tourism, and she's shed one or two herself at the office. "There's being silent at your desk when a tear rolls down your face, and there's sniffling and ignoring your own tears, then there's acting out your crying," says Corvaia, marketing director for the Greater Merrimack Valley Convention and Visitors Bureau. "Good tears are tears under control - the moist eye, the almost-tears that show that a person feels very deeply, but still is under control of her or his emotion," says Stephanie Shields, a psychology and women's studies professor at Pennsylvania State University who has done research on people's perception of public crying.

Is Boston.com really asking whether crying is ever good at the office?   Listen you don’t need a degree in Psychology from Bridgewater State to know that crying is NEVER good at work.  I don’t care whether it’s somebody bawling or somebody who just has “the moist eye.”  If you think you’re about to cry you better get the hell out of the office.   Because take it from me, the CEO of a multi-international smut peddling empire, crying equals you’re fired.    Sure I may act all nice if some chick comes into my office and starts getting emotional about her workload.  Hell I may even let her suck my dick.  But I guarantee you that she’ll have a pink slip on her cube before she returns to sit down.   The bottom line is that only freaks cry at work.   End of story.

After that psycho chick from 90210 was featured yesterday, UB thought it was a good time to get this former Beverly Hills chick off the the Wake Up bench. Sorry for the return of the black bars but El Prez blew a nutty after UB posted nudity yesterday...So don't be sending any hate mail UB's way...

Much more Kathleen here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com