Elisha Cuthbert (SEE NSFW VIDEO HERE)

vs.

Jessica Alba (SEE NSFW VIDEO HERE)

Is there a bigger BULLSHIT in film than bringing in a T-List star (T is for tits as opposed to Talent) and boasting of a nude scene only to learn that they are stunt boobs? Honestly, watching these two scenes from UB faves Cuthbert and Alba is a bigger rip off than the time UB rented Executive Decision with Kurt Russell and Steven Seagal, hoping to see a dream fight, but instead seeing Seagal get killed off in the first 10 minutes. REFUND, REFUND, REFUND! Knowing they are stunt tits also makes it nearly impossible to rub one out. No mater how hard you try, you can't get that nagging thought out of your head, "Those aren't her tits!" If they want UB to mix a pussy shot into a Jessica Biel flick to make you think you saw Biel's beaver, he will...UB's got spare time...But for now, for the sake of the customer and knuckle children everywhere, can we please just find chicks willing to take their top off already?

PS: What was with that old dude carrying a limp Cuthbert to his couch? That's about the only way UB would have a shot. Break her spine than force her to live in the house until her will is broken. Nice work, dude!

1 for Cuthbert, 10 for Alba